Disclaimer: I own nothing. Practically.

I

Ok here's the thing buddy. I didn't ask for this. Like, none of this. This whole "Hi! I died, and now I'm a ghost in an alternate universe" thing was not planned. Like bitch why the fuck do you go and fuck my life up?

Ok, ok.

Calm.

Peace.

Quiet.

HELL NAH WHO AM I KIDDING! WHY AM I STUCK WITH A TWELVE YEAR OLD?!

Ok, but honestly? I don't even wanna begin this story, but seeing as it's 2 am and ghosts don't hecking sleep... I must then.

Hi! I'm Maya! Not nice to meet ya! I am so not excited to be alive! (Even though I'm not technically but you know, those are just technicallities.) Let's get on to the story, shall we?

It was a nice December morning, I was on my way to die at school for the finals, but? apparently not? I was crossing the street, feeling the comforting sting of -30 degrees and accidentally slipped and flew to the sun, singing badly. Or it was more like I slipped and fell on the pavement and, uh, broke myself? I don't know, I'm not a medic.

Sigh.

This is boring.

Ok, continuing with the story, I died and suddenly felt myself becoming lighter. And lighter. Everything turned white, and I heard a scream coming in from a distance, growing louder until it felt like a man was standing right next to me and yelling straight in my ear. Yeah, not the most pleasant sensation. For a moment I was scared that I was going to Hell, I mean I was an edgy teen who said edgy things and listened to edgy bands but the prospect of pain was not exciting me in any way. Aha, so I wasn't a masochist.

A man in an all white outfit with lots of cool feathers appeared and demanded I show him the pass. I had something else in mind that I wanted to show him but reminded myself that strange men with suspicious appearances were not to be fooled around with. I just quirked my eyebrow up in what I imagined to be a questioning expression. I sure hoped I didn't look dumb as heck.

"Pass?" I asked because he didn't seem to understand my beautiful art of emotions. (Ahem, expression mentioned earlier? Catch on, dude.)

He looked me over and asked, "Have you done all that was needed?"

Ok now what the hell was that supposed to mean? America, explain. Done all that was needed? Well, I still had that homework due 5th period that may have needed a little finishing up... But was that what the strange white dude meant? Hm, maybe I needed to think about it in some other way. We're all my life problems solved? Ha, that's a funny joke. There wasn't a time when I didn't have at least six problems hanging over my head. Ok, ok. Maybe it's a trick question? Maybe the answer he's looking for is a yes, and then he'll just send me to heaven? But then I would be a liar. That wasn't even an explanation for a trick question. I'm just starting to doubt everything that I said and have ever done. I'll just say the first thing that pops into my head. Have I done all that was needed?

"Nah."

Ok, um, shit.

The world started spinning madly and I should have known better than to say no to an angel of life decisions. Hecking lights moved quicker, my breathing grew more labored, my head started spinning, the whole "Traveling to a new dimension" thing. Oh my gosh, I just hoped I didn't end up somewhere like the One Piece universe where everything went bad and then worse. After all, I wasn't exactly familiar with the entire plot having never finished the anime. Only a few fanfics were responsible for any knowledge. And, it was mostly smut anyway. Heeheehee... Yeah, definitely wouldn't want to end up there.

I slurped into a bedroom. (Get it, it's not a weird description word to use, amirite? It's like,, suddenly appearing in a weird manner. Ok, works for me.) It was pink, very pink. Obviously not mine. I looked around and walked over to a table. Sighing, I picked up a framed picture of two little girls, one with cute pink hair and another one with a lovely ponytail. One of them is obviously the new me. I looked around to find a mirror to take a closer look at my new body, but looking down, I discovered my gold nails. Now, you maybe asking, what's wrong with your new self having gold nails? I don't know, but the scar right next to my thumbnail told me that I was still me. Oh, and there was the fact that I was somewhat transparent.

Well joy! I'm an OC in a character's room? No wait, I'm a ghost, that's right. I looked back at the picture in my hands. Why could I hold it? I'm a ghost. Just as I started thinking about it, the picture slipped right through my fingers. Like actually. My fingers. Ah creepypasta. Brrrrrr.

But the girls? In the picture? They looked really familiar... I couldn't put my finger on it, lucky me. Well, no matter because the door just opened and a woman of 35 (? I'd say?) walked into the room.

Well, thank you readers, now is my time to go, she will probably murder me once she sees me in my hiding spot behind the table. But no! Gasp! She looked around, smiled as if reminded of the good old times (? Uh, what other things do old people think about, honestly.) and promptly yelled some phrase.

Ah, that's Japanese, I think. Why not Happy Potter and the Chamber of Smiles? It's Japanese, which means anime, which means everything will go very wrong very quick probably. And unless it's Yuri On Ice, don't expect me to be happy about this. Japanese. I don't even know Japanese, how am I supposed to understand anything they say there? Oh, hai, itachi natsu naruto kage koneko whatever other random words I know. It's like getting thrown into a French movie and all you could say was oui oui honhonhon baguette croissant. It's like getting thrown into a Spanish drama and all you could say was grassy-ass and Despacito and just wait for the glares to come. Japanese, perfect.

The woman left the room while I was still sitting underneath my table, grumbling about the injustice and the inequality of it all. But then! The girl came out of the shower? Because she was wet. So, you know, I casually assumed she was in the shower. Wet as in wet like hair, thank you very much. She walked out of the shower and immediately noticed me. Aha! Someone could see me!

She gave a surprised shout, and charged straight at me with the intention of kicking me. I'm still under the table, gurl, why you do this? Her kick went straight through my head. Frowning she asked me whatever else.

JAPANESE, MY FOLKS, JAPANESE.

Yeah, and since I couldn't really understand a word of what she was saying there, I just dumbly shook my head and said random words like tomato, pancakes, yellow, la pomme de terre, la baguette, el niño, John Green, communications, Kim Possible, Naruto, bagel, la poussière, confetti...

At the mentioned of Naruto she stiffened. Aha! Naruto universe! Ahaaaaaaaa! I remember all that I ever knew of it now, and the girl I was talking to is Sakura. (WELL DUH, MAYA, SAKURA, PINK HAIR, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA SO SMART) Well of course, fanfiction writers can't just leave her alone, it seems.

Naruto universe, Narutoverse... I remember reading a whole bunch of fanfics on this...

Shit!

I don't remember anything!

Yayyyyyyyyyy meeeeeee!

Ok, ok, basic plot, magic all around, bad snake guys, adorable main character, hot sexy antagonists who are too powerful... Right, what else? I remember reading several fanfics on people inhabiting Sakura, or time travel fics and they all did basically the same thing. Training, defeat, move on, training, some war? Preparations? Ah, well then it's a great thing that I don't know how to plan! (Hear the sarcasm?)

Ok, but still, the problem of not knowing a single word of what she was saying is a bit of a... Yeah, a bit of a problem.

She stopped trying to attack me, and I looked over her once again. She couldn't have possibly been older than ten. Whatever happened in the story by that time? What's going on? When do they graduate their school? Damn, I knew I should have binge watched anime instead of studying. Now how am I going to make this world a better place without remembering a single thing?

On a second thought though, did I really care what happened to this world or nah? Didn't I just want to move on to my better afterlife? But then again, what's the point of me being here if I wasn't going to do anything?

Sigh, this is too confusing.

Sakura looked at me again and apparently decided that I wasn't worth the troubles because she left the root with her head held high. I'm pretty sure she was hoping she went crazy and was just hallucinating.

Well, now seemed like a good time to fall asleep and hope it's all just a bad dream. I jumped onto her bed (well, more like drifted over to her bed), and closed my eyes.

Ah yes, the most pleasant ghost experience ever, the inability to fall asleep

Anger mark on my forehead, eyebrow twitching, I refused to get up and do something about life. Death. Life. ARGH. My vision went dark and a bar appeared in my vision with the words "Info: Loading . . ." on top of it, and "0.2% Done" below. What info? Um, 'scuse me, strange man with a suspicious appearance? What is the meaning of this?

Silence.

Wow, that's just plain rude, whatever, we'll see what information it is later.

Sakura POV

CRAZY LADY IN MY ROOM. I REPEAT, CRAZY LADY IN MY ROOM.

She's a ghost.

I am going crazy myself then, toodles! Haha haha hahahhaahahhaha.

...

Inner, what do we do?

We just hope she disappears, and if not...

If not?

WE'LL KICK HER ASS!

Oh dear.

I wailed pathetically as I ran to the academy.

Oh well, maybe Sasuke-kun can cheer us up!

Normal POV, my POV

Two hours have passed, and I got tired of just laying on Sakura's bed. God damnit, this is so unusual! I could normally do nothing for at least three if not four hours!

Sighing, I floated out of her bed, and decided that exploring this strange world, at least this village was in my best interests.

The streets were bustling with life. I could see already at least five shops, and three cafes. The smell of food drifted through the air, and I wondered if I could get hungry. In Harry Potter, the ghosts could somewhat taste food if it was rotten enough, right? With that image in my mind, I quickly decided that hunger wasn't for me, thank you very much.

Kids were running all around, laughing at their jokes and games. A few mothers were doting on their tiny kiddos, I smiled slightly at that image. Kids were absolutely adorable, I want six of them. Right now. Well... Sigh, what a drag...

I turned and floated in the direction of the mountain that I could see. It had a few faces in it and I wondered if those were the presidents. Wow, the fourth one there is hot. I continued on my journey.

The most curious thing, though, was that I could hear snippets of conversations and slowly came to the realization that I could understand a few of the words spoken. Well, now that I concentrated enough, I could understand (with a little help from logic, my dear friend) entire phrases. Now what kind of magic was that?

Remembering the strange bar in my mind, I willed it to appear right before me. Oh, it floated in the air. Sweet. Great. What even is this world, I can't even...

Frowning, I noticed that the bar had loaded to 17.06 %. So an entire language was only 17 percent? Boy oh boy I couldn't wait to find out the rest. Oh, who am I kidding? No, I had absolutely no desire to do any of that. I had the desire to do nothing. Non-action. Daoism makes so much sense now. I support you, Laozi, for you have come up with a damn fine philosophy.

So, theoretically speaking, I could now communicate?

"HEY DO Y'ALL HEAR ME OR NAH?! BLICK TWICE IF YOU HEAR ME AND APPRECIATE ME!"

Absolutely no one responded or at least turned to look in my direction. The audacity. Gosh darn it. Hecking shinobi. Wait, how do I know this? They're shinobi, right..? Naruto... is a beast? Ah. Ok. Yep, makes sense. I check in with the bar. 18 percent. Alright alright alright! Was I slowly gaining back knowledge of the Narutoverse? Sounds fake but ok.

I continued moving around town, exploring, forcing back memories. Back as in, you know, back into my head. In your head in your head they are dy *voice crack* innnnnggggg.

Ahem.

B-O-R-I-N-G!

How the heck do I survive a whole few years of this? Why am I even here again? Who am I... What am I... What is the meaning of life... Death..? Life..?! Death? ARGHHHHH.

Deciding that enough was enough, I started looking for the... academy? Yes, correct. The academy. Not before long, I found a complex with a park in front it that looked like a building where kids could be educated. Maybe. Darn, I wish my high school looked like that. The trees provided a serene atmosphere, and with a smile on my face, I knew an exciting adventure was in order.

Swooping down, I laughed giddily. Although my top pick for a super power would have been mind reading, maybe. Or teleportation? So many possibilities... Flying was... Fun. No other way to describe it.

I flew next to the windows, searching for Sakura. The classes were filled with adorable little kids reading, writing, ooh was that fighting I saw, and meditating. Finally, I noticed a small classroom with the instructor (Iruka..?) showing the hand seals to a... jutsu? I observed the procedure with fascination.

A few kids were so concentrated I was afraid their eyes might pop out of their skull. A cute boy in an orange jumpsuit was one of them, Na... Oh my god. MAIN CHARACTER ALERT. Ok deep breaths. Deep, deep breaths. Next, there was a guy eating chips next to a guy napping with his head on the desk, napping. Ah, my two states during class. Just kidding, I was a nerd, I would have never fallen asleep in class. It's too dangerous.

Ah, now there she is. Is she... glaring at some girl? Boy oh boy, why do I get a drama fueled person as my link and my (hopefully) pass to the good afterlife (that I have very much deserved)? I decided to shout a few things, just to test out my Japanese with someone who understands. But wait, my accent-! Gosh darn it, I would have to speak to her anyway, so the Gods that made this up better give me perfect Japanese skills.

"Sakura!" I yelled through the window. She didn't seem to hear. Or maybe she's ignoring me. Why do they always do that, huh? No matter, I tried again, "Sa-! ku-! ra-!"

This time she heard. She turned her head to the window and immediately her eyes widened and she grew pale. I smirked, why yes, I do scare people, I pride myself on that. She quickly turned to her friend? Enemy? That girl she was glaring at, you know, her. She turned to her (WAIT HER NAME IS INO AHA ACHIEVEMENT HECKING UNLOCKED.)

She turned to Ino and asked her something while nudging her head towards the window. Ino turned to look in my general direction, but I could see (with glee) that she was staring somewhere far beyond me. Like the tree behind me, maybe. She turned to Sakura with a haughty expression and a comment. Sakura grew even more pale. Ino turned back to the window, this time slightly scared. She turned back to Sakura with a shake of her hand. Sakura fainted.

Boy oh boy.

Damn she's weak. So she can see ghosts, so what? It's not like I'm trying to kill her, am I right?

"So let me get this straight, you died and then reappeared in my world?"

Poor Sakura couldn't handle anything. I sat cross legged on her bed while she paced in front of me.

"Yep," I chirped.

She paused.

"I don't believe it!" she exclaimed.

"Well darn."

"Ok, let's pretend that this is true for one second," she massaged her temples, "why are you here?"

"I'm a God's mistake," I sang happily. You may ask why I was so happy and ready to explode with rainbows? Well, it's fun to annoy people, to be completely honest with you. Plus, I genuinely believed I was a God's mistake, so there's that. "But if you are seriously asking, then I have no idea. I'm just... here. So sorry for the inconvenience."

She flopped on to her bed next to me. I lied down. She groaned.

"Wow. This is fascinating. But while we're on this extremely awkward discussion, you should probably get weights, my fanfiction senses are tingling."

"Sasuke-kun doesn't like muscular girls."

"Are you sure he even likes ... girls?" I wondered.

She glared at me from behind her arms. "Well yes he likes girls! Who else would he like!" She threw her hands up in the air. (Sometimes. Saying aaaaayoooo.) "Why are we having this conversation? Get out of my life!"

And thus ended my story. Of love and adventure. Of friendship and kindness. Of- Hah, just kidding. Lololol. (Nobody laughed, I know, I'm sorry.)

I stared at her with my eyebrow raised. Suddenly, a piece of paper appeared in front of me. I grabbed it to see what it said and paled as I read it. The note fluttered to the ground as I stared at Sakura in horror.

"-1. Going to Hell at -100.

Good luck, Maya."

A/N: Hi, uh, thanks for clicking on this story!

Well, tell me what you think. Unless you hate it. Don't tell me that or I'll go follow my hero Hans Christian Anderson and weep with my face down in some dirt.

Actually, there's a thing that one fanfiction author does, can't think of her name at the top of my head, it's Darkpetal something some number (Darkpetal16). So I'm gonna do a question and answer tab? Maybe?

QUESTION: What's your favorite colour, my dude? (m8) (gurl)

K bye have a nice New Year.