My Predator or my Protector

A Vampire Diaries Fanfic

Life Sucks when Drama Strikes

Dear Composition Book,

Hey. So…I have no idea why I'm doing this. One day, I was lying on the couch at home, watching sappy movies while stuffing my face with cookie dough ice cream. The next day, I'm in Office Depot, buying this "earth-friendly" composition book. This one is cool, though; it has earthy colors on the front and back, and the paper is recycled and baby blue and the lines are brown. Plus, I'm writing with my lucky, copper gel pen that I also use to write spells with. If I'm going to be writing for now on, better do it with a bang, right? Whatever—I wasn't the one who set me up to do this. My best friend, Elena, did.

Elena said writing in a diary is meant to keep memories forever—that memories are worth remembered, no matter what they are. Recently, I've wanted to have AMNESIA from everything that has been going on. Keeping those memories isn't exactly what I had in mind. Elena said writing down your thoughts also relieves stress. I hope that works, because I've been having tons of stress lately. And who are the people causing it?

Damon, Elena, and Jeremy. Especially Jeremy.

With Jeremy, it's been hard. Our relationship ended…four months ago? No, it's been five months. And a couple of weeks. He cheated on me with Anna. Why? Jeremy moved on. Once he saw Anna, he resumed to being in love with her. Him and Anna's relationship is going to be better than it was before she died. I hope it does, because I'm happy for them. To be honest, I think it was me who drove him away—me and my creepy, freaky, witch stuff. But, during me and Jeremy's relationship, it was horrible. Great at first, but after a while, it turned downhill. He became…insane. In other words, he went back to being a stoner. He just…went back to drugs like it was a video game he used to play. It was disappointing, but I said nothing of it. Elena did, however, and it angered him so much that he thought everyone was on his case about it, and he began to have anger problems.

It started with the disagreements. When he wanted to do something I disagreed to it, he would just explode and make all these accusations at me. I didn't do anything wrong! I only told him I didn't want to do it and the reasons why. He wouldn't listen. He kept it up until we began to fight. When we first fought, it was just arguing and insults under our breaths. Then it became more detailed arguments and insults shot at each other, along with some moving of chairs, hitting our fists against tables and counters and our voices louder. The arguments either ended with him walking out, me walking out, or us hugging, apologizing to each other. Our last argument, despite how easy I forgave people, was the last.

Jeremy cracked. He hit me. He punched me, and then shoved me into the wall. I forgot what we were arguing about, probably something stupid, but I can never forget that night. He traumatized me, and I ran out of Elena's house to mine before he could hurt me anymore. I stayed inside my house for weeks.

I never told Elena what really happened. She would've confronted her brother and he would have hurt her. Then I would never forgive myself. Later on, I wished I had told her, because when Elena told me Jeremy was cheating on me, she wasn't happy at all. In fact, she took his side. He was her brother; she had to. She actually blamed me for it. Elena said, "If you were actually being a supportive girlfriend for my brother, then he wouldn't have cheated on you in the first place." Supportive? How could I have been supportive if he kept yelling and abusing me every time we were together? But I couldn't tell her that, so I didn't answer. So she kept going, believing she was on a roll. "You know, Stefan and I…" That was when I cracked.

"What about you and Stefan? That you two are the most perfect human/vampire couple since Twilight's Edward and Bella? That, if I was like you, then Jeremy wouldn't had cheated on me? Well, you know what? Screw it. Jeremy is not Stefan and I am not you. I will never be you, the perfect girl whose parents died in a car accident; who has a boyfriend; who has someone else loving you; who everything revolves around of. Jeremy isn't a vampire who has a brother fighting for his girlfriend, just because she looks exactly like their old love. Nope, I am nothing like you. And I am nothing compared to you! That's how life outside of your conceited head works around here."

I remember those words—how they hurt Elena, how they made a thick silence in the Gilberts residence, how they lingered as I stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind me. I will never forget that day. The last day Elena and I, best friends, talked to each other.

I feel guilty for saying those words now. I feel guilty for yelling at Elena. She didn't do anything to deserve it. Well, she did deserve it, kind of. It's also half my fault. If I hadn't told her about Jeremy and his recent doings, then Elena wouldn't have blamed me for him cheating on me with Anna. I feel terrible—karma's creeping up on me. That's when I wonder how Elena felt back then. Probably P.O.-ed or shocked—I could tell she was shocked, due to the way her jaw almost fell off when I snapped at her—but she was upset with me then. She cared for her brother, I could understand that. Then again, I hadn't really spoke to her while I was with Jeremy, and he surely did not talk about Elena or, well, anyone a part of his family. If only had told her the whole story, things would have been different. About a month ago, Alaric held me after class, asking me how our friendship was. I told him that we weren't on speaking terms at all. He smiled, placed a hand on my shoulder, and guaranteed that Elena and I will go back to being friends again. Since then, I've been hoping for it.

Now, Damon. He's…he's a jerk. All he wants is either girls or blood. Is he still obsessed with the Elena/Katherine drama? Don't know. Don't care. However, despite hating his dead body, I do care for him—he's sort of my friend. I haven't talk to him in a while…two months, actually. Maybe I'll talk to him today. ~

Bonnie Bennett pressed her lips into a thin line as she closed her notebook. Damon Salvatore. The vampire's name almost sounded foreign to her. Man, was it really that long since I've talked to him? Actually, it was. Two months. Last time they talked to each other was when he was still trying to convince her into making up with Elena, even though he was also siding with Jeremy when he did. He didn't want Baby Gilbert to be happy again, he wanted everything to go back to normal between the best friends, and have the world back on its regular orbit. Then, when Damon was trying to convince Bonnie into making up, Bonnie didn't want to talk about the "best friend" issue. That was the last thing she wanted to talk about.

Surprisingly, she thought Damon made her have dinner with him at The Mystic Grill to…just talk; to have a normal conversation about life. Of course, he chose that way to attempt to convince her into making up. No way was she doing that—it wasn't her doing. Elena was the one who was taking her abusive, bi-polar brother's side over her best friend's.

Bonnie smiled. At least Caroline understands.

If Bonnie was asked, between Elena and Caroline, who was more of a best friend to her now, she would've answered Caroline. The blonde knew everything from Jeremy's unusual acts to Elena taking Jeremy's side to Damon setting up a "fake date" with Bonnie, as she called. She listened to the witch tell her problems, and told her that it was "totally Jeremy's fault" and that Elena had no right to be saying what she said to Bonnie. But Caroline also said it was partially Bonnie's own fault that she hadn't told Elena about Jeremy's actions. Bonnie knew that, of course, and didn't deny it.

"So what should I do?" Bonnie asked, twiddling her thumbs in shame.

Caroline placed her hands on top of the brunette's, calming her down. "What you should have done three months ago. Go do it. Tomorrow." But she never did.

The task hung over her for a month, and now the witch was going to do it, starting by heading over to the Gilberts residence.

Checking her distorted reflection from the rinsed-but-dirty ceramic plate in her hand, Elena Gilbert placed dishes in the dishwasher, too lazy to wash them herself. Being in her cream-colored tile kitchen, the brunette felt at ease—no Alaric in the home to annoy her; no drama with Stefan and their relationship; no trouble with grades, as long as Alaric was concerned. Everything was halcyon; even Jeremy wasn't stirring up trouble like he used to. To her, Jeremy seemed to have become a completely different person since his relationship with Anna began.

The thought of Jeremy's love life somehow switched her thoughts to Bonnie, her best friend who had not enunciated with her in five months, and how the witch's life was going. She had almost forgotten about the last thing Bonnie said—or rather yelled at her in the room Elena stood, hastily placing the plate in the dishwasher before she could drop it from being lost in her thoughts.

Bonnie. Her friend came up in her mind as sweet, innocent; like she was when they first were friends, doing everything together before Caroline was in the picture. They told secrets to each other, had sleepovers, and went to the mall or the library with each other. Nothing could ever split them apart. Except Bonnie's poor relationship with Jeremy.

Yes, Elena still assumed it was Bonnie's fault for everything that had taken place. Jeremy did nothing wrong, in her perspective. She was clueless about him hitting the witch, arguing with her, or pushing her away from him. The dumb brunette didn't even realize he was back on drugs. To her eyes, the little brother was seen as a gleeful, trouble-free young man reunited with his angelic girlfriend. Elena, like everyone else, was happy for the couple, but sometimes wished that it was Bonnie making her brother happy instead of Anna.

"Jeremy may have moved on, but there had to be more behind them being together." Elena thought out loud, a hand on her hip. She furrowed her eyebrows. "Why wasn't I thinking about the situation months ago?" Because I thought I knew who was innocent and who was guilty. I know Bonnie—she wouldn't break Jeremy's heart without a reason. Same thing goes for Jeremy.

The detective then remembered how Bonnie would talk about Jeremy and what he did for her—took her out to lunch, bought her gifts, comforted her when things were bad between the Bennett family. She remembered how long the witch had told her stories about them.

She also remembered when Bonnie stopped talking about her and Jeremy, then Jeremy all together. The witch didn't talk on the subject to the point she avoided it, pleading her best friend not to bring Jeremy up again.

"Please," Bonnie sighed, lifting her head up from her grimoire. "Could we not talk about him? Or our relationship?" They were in Bennett's bedroom, studying for a quiz they had the next day. It had been a week since the girl had spoken of her boyfriend, and it had concerned Elena to the very slightest.

Elena blinked. "O…kay?" She put her history textbook aside. "I just wanted to know if you wanted to talk about it, that's all."

The witch snapped; a candle lit a few feet away from where she laid. "Well, I don't; I don't want anything to do with him right now." That sentence struck Elena, suspicion whelming her.

"Why is that? You guys were practically made for each other, based on your 'love stories' you told me." What was going on between them?

Bonnie closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "Nothing. Just…forget about it."

Elena frowned. "But I'm concerned-"

"Can we focus on studying? I really need to understand the fifth section, if you don't have a problem with it." Bonnie grabbed her textbook and flipped through the many pages, glancing up at her best friend for a conformation.

The brunette didn't press on, though she needed to. "Alright; let's go over that." The black witch grinned as she looked for the right page, Elena eyeing her with grave suspicion-

Knock.

"Hm?" Elena was disconnected from her thoughts as she snapped her attention to the front door. "Who is it?" she asked, bending down and slamming the dishwasher close, a soft click following to notify her that the machine was secure. She tossed the dishcloth in the left sink; dirty dishes stacked in the right. Elena dried her hands on her jeans as she waited for an answer.

"It's Bonnie."