Untangling herself from Rick's furnace like warmth, Michonne slowly got out of bed. Still asleep, Rick tried to reach out to her, and mumbled in discontent when his hands found nothing but empty sheets. Michonne smiled at him and gently threaded her fingers through his soft curls to ease the man's frown. It always worked.
She soon regretted getting up as cold air hit her. She put on her robe and made her way downstairs.
It was barely light out yet and it'd be a couple hours until everyone else would even think about getting up. Michonne made herself a cup of tea, lit the tree lights and sat in the living room; fingers circled around the mug for warmth as she admired the tree. It was a beautiful tree, with a ridiculous amount of gifts underneath it. Courtesy of the apocalypse, that albeit more dangerous to obtain, made every gift for free, and the fact that everyone still standing in Alexandria wanted to pamper their two youngest inhabitants in some way.
It was their first Christmas together as a family.
They'd had one at the prison, of course, with a tree and all. And even then, just a couple months from their first encounter by the prison's fence, Rick and Carl had made her feel a part of them. But the pain had still been too fresh. That'd been her first Christmas without Andre and she'd only stayed for a few minutes until she'd excused herself halfway through the gift exchange.
The pain was still there. It would always be there. But now, she had three reasons to be happy, three reasons why not giving up had been the best decision she'd ever made.
Michonne was toying with the 'A' in her necklace—empty mug on the coffee table—when tiny footsteps drove her attention toward hallway.
"Mommy?"
That word never failed to make her smile.
"What're you doing up so early, sweet pea?" Michonne beamed and held her arms out to her daughter. Judith ran up to her and jumped into her arms. She immediately started toying with her mom's dreads.
"Is Santa here yet?"
"Sorry, baby. You just missed him." Judith pouted adorably at that. "But you know what? He left you tons of presents," Michonne said and Judith's face lighted up.
"How many?"
"Oh, you're gonna have to wait to find out," Michonne cooed, placing a tiny kiss on Judith's nose, causing the little girl to giggle. "Now, how about we go and wake up those two sleepy heads?"
They went to Carl first. He'd fallen asleep with his headphones on and they now rested around his neck, music still blasting from them. Michonne smiled warmly at the boy and leaned in to gently shake him awake, but Judith beat her to it, and all but threw herself from Michonne's arms and onto her brother.
"Wake up! Wake up, Carl! Santa came!" Judith cried with joy, shaking her bother awake.
"What's with all the racket?" Carl grunted, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with both hands. "Can't someone have some peace and quiet once in a while in this house?"
"Nope!" Judith giggled and continued to shake him.
Michonne laughed at their exchange, keeping her arms around Judith in case she toppled over and fell off the bed. "Okay, baby. Carl's awake. Now go wake up daddy," she said, setting Judith on the floor.
"Be louder with him," Carl called after his sister as she ran out of the bedroom to wake up Rick.
"Sleep well?" Michonne asked Carl, sitting down next to him to carefully remove the headphones from around his neck.
"Yeeaah," Carl yawned. "Wouldn't have minded sleeping some more, though."
"Okay, enough with the grumpiness. Your sister is very excited about this. Up, up!" Michonne patted the teen on the arm and went to the window to open the blinds, letting the dim morning light in, then went to see what took Judith so long to start screaming at Rick, finding her trying (and failing) to climb on the tall bed.
Michonne chuckled at the adorable sight and helped her up. "There. Now wake him up."
Judith shot Michonne a mischievous smile right before she started jumping up and down on Rick's back. "Daddy, wake up! Wake up! Santa came!"
"Jeez, Judy, you're getting heavy," Rick groaned, turning on his side to wrap his arm around Judith and bring her down to lie beside him, eliciting a shriek and a giggle from her. He then looked at Michonne's smiling face and returned it with a sleepy smile. "What time is it?"
"Time to rise and shine," Michonne chirped, opening their blinds too.
Rick groaned again and pulled the bedcovers over both him and Judith. "Can't that wait for a little bit?"
"But presents," came Judith's muffled cry as she struggled to get out from underneath the covers.
Still smiling, Michonne shook her head and pulled the covers all the way down, out of Rick's reach. "Get up, sleepy head. I don't care how late you fell asleep last night." Rick smirked and gave her a guilty look. "Your daughter wants to see her presents and we can't have her wait now, can we?"
"Presents!" Judith cried, and started shaking Rick much like she did with Carl.
"Okay, I'm up, I'm up."
"And this one's from me," Carl told Judith, pulling a messily wrapped present from behind his back to give it to her. Michonne lifted her eyebrows at him and Carl shrugged. "Hey, I risked my life to get this. It's from me."
"I know, and you did wonderful, sweetie. Although you could've done better with the wrapping," she teased.
"Still did better than me," Rick pinched in form where he was taking Polaroid's of all of them as they opened the mountain of presents. In fact, some of Rick's gifts looked like they could've been wrapped by Judith, who was way fonder of destroying wrappings that wrapping them on things. "But in my defense, I was in a hurry. Judy kept trying to sneak on me."
Michonne lifted one of Rick's presents. "Don't blame this on Judith, Rick," she chastised with a smile.
"Hey, he's right," Carl came in his dad's defense. "She's like a ninja or something. She almost caught me like three times."
Judith barely paid their conversation any heed since she was focused on destroying every piece of wrapping paper that came in her power.
Michonne set the present down and beckoned Rick over. "Hey, come joins us. You're way too far away."
Rick obliged and kneeled beside her. He placed a hand on her thigh and squeezed it, leaning in to kiss her softly. Carl rolled his eyes at them.
After every present had been unwrapped, Carl took Judith out sledding and Rick and Michonne went with them, and even indulged in some sledding themselves, as well as a fairly even snowball fight with the kids. They came back to the house hungry and exhausted, but blissfully happy and sated. They had dinner leftovers from the night before so no cooking had to be done. After eating, Rick and Michonne sat on the couch and opened a bottle of wine while Carl and Judith tested her new crayons on the sketch book Carl had given her.
"Hey," Rick said, holding her hand and threading his fingers with hers. "I wanted to…talk about something."
The hesitation in his voice made Michonne turn on her seat to face him fully. "What is it?"
"I wanted to thank you…for all of this."
"Is this the wine talking?" She teased.
Rick smiled and cocked his head to the side. "A little bit, maybe."
Michonne pouted. "And here you had me thinking I was some sort of miracle maker."
"I'm serious," he said, looking over her shoulder to sneak a glance at Carl and Judith, then down at their joined hands, avoiding her eyes. "None of this would be happening if it wasn't for you. I don't even want to think where we could be right now if you hadn't made me come here."
"Oh, I can't take the whole credit." Michonne smiled sweetly at him. "You were wise enough to listen to me."
Rick smiled back and met her gaze briefly, before lowering his gaze to their hands once more, where he was tracing patterns on Michonne's hand with his thumb. "You've done so much for us," he admitted with emotion and his smile faltered. When he spoke again, it was in a hushed whisper. "There's something—there's something I've been meaning to ask you about. You don't have to answer," he hurried to add, "but I need to ask."
Michonne knew it wasn't easy for Rick to speak about certain matters, so she squeezed his hand in encouragement. "You can ask me anything, Rick."
Rick upper lip curled up slightly. "I don't want to make you upset."
Oh. It was about that.
"You can ask me." Michonne squeezed his hand again and nodded. "It's okay."
She'd known for a while that Rick knew something. Not from Carl, of course. The boy had kept his promise. It was something else. Maybe the way she looked at Judith sometimes, with longing in her eyes. Maybe how withdrawn she'd become on certain dates or how naturally she fell into the mother role with Rick's kids. It was there for anyone willing to see it. And Rick had been willing. He'd just been waiting for the opportunity to bring it up.
Rick reached over to the 'A' in her necklace and gently traced the pad of his index over it. "What was their name?" He asked, finally meeting her eyes.
Michonne willed her voice to stay steady. "Andre."
He nodded. "How old?"
"He'd be five now."
Taking a deep breath, Rick asked, "How?"
Taking her own deep breath, Michonne answered. "Our camp got swarmed while I was away on a run. He didn't have someone with him willing to fight for his life at the time. It was already over when I came back," she strained out. The pain as sharp and present as when it'd happened. Now it was her who couldn't meet Rick's eyes; her own eyes filled with tears.
Rick grimaced, brushing a dreadlock away from the side of her face to place his warm hand there; his other on her shoulder. "Michonne—"
"It's okay. I'm okay. I miss him. I always will. The pain…" she placed a hand over her heart, "it'll always be here. But I'm okay."
Rick gathered her in his arms, kissing the side of her head.
"You helped heal us, Carl and me. I hope…" Michonne could hear the tremor in Rick's voice as he spoke against her ear. "I hope we can do the same for you…eventually."
Michonne pulled away to meet Rick's eyes. "You already did," she reassured, placing her hand on his face and looking up at him with intent. "You saw how I was back then. You guys brought me back from what I had become. Made me want to heal. Take chances. Live." Michonne took one of his hands and brought it to her lips, kissing it softly. "This?" She gestured toward the two siblings sitting at the table and their home. "All of this? I thought I'd never have this again, until I met you, until you made me a part of your family. And I thank you for that."
Rick kissed one of her tearstained cheeks, then the other, and then her lips, taking his time there. Rick's hand slid down to rest on her waist and squeezed it lightly. "I love you, Michonne," he whispered when they parted slightly to rest their foreheads together.
After a short pause, Michonne found Rick's lips again and kissed him deeply, burying her fingers in Rick's curls. When they parted, they caught sight of Judith out of the corner of their eyes and both turned to her. She was standing by the couch and staring at them with curious eyes.
"Something wrong, baby?" Michonne asked and Judith shook her head.
"What you got there, Judy?" Rick asked and she put her hand from behind her back, handing her dad a picture she'd made with her new crayons.
Rick took it and showed it to Michonne. It was the four of them standing beside what appeared to be a huge Christmas tree.
"Who is that?" Rick pointed to the figure that appeared to be Michonne. There was a long line linked to its hand that looked like it could be a katana. She seemed to be protecting all of them. And indeed, Judith pointed at Michonne. "Mommy is a badass, isn't she?" Rick told Judith who nodded eagerly. Michonne smiled, and reached out to caress her blond curls.
Rick picked Judith up to sit her between them. "It's beautiful, Judy," he said and kissed the top of her head.
"Your dad's right, sweetie. This is beautiful," Michonne complimented. "Can I keep it?"
"Yes." Judith looked at her and frowned. "Are you crying?"
Michonne nodded with a happy smile. "Yes. But these are happy tears."
Judith climbed onto Michonne's lap and latched her small arms around her. Michonne hugged her back.
"I love you," Judith mumbled against her chest, "and I want hot chocolate,"
Michonne chuckled. "I love you too, baby. And great idea, by the way," she said with enthusiasm then looked at Rick and Carl. "Who else wants some?"
"Me!" Carl and Rick said in unison.
Michonne picked Judith up and sat her on her lap, then covered both of them with the blanket draped over the back of the couch. "Me too, so you boys go and make us some while Judy and I wait here all cozy under this warm blanket and continue to admire this beautiful piece of art."
Judith looked up at her and gave her a peck on the cheek. Michonne held her a tad bit closer.
"Okay, but don't complain if it's not emjust/em how you like it," Carl quipped with a smirk.
"Oh, you'll do it just fine, sweetie."
"C'mon, let's go," Rick told Carl as he got up from the couch, and made for the kitchen. Michonne caught his arm as he passed by, stopping him midway.
"I love you, Rick," she said and Rick leaned in to kiss her again. Michonne smiled into the kiss and then slowly broke it to whisper against Rick's lips. "Thank you. I'm glad you asked me."
Rick nodded. "I love you."
Michonne kept smiling after Rick parted from her to go to the kitchen. And as Judith explained her drawing to her and Rick and Carl came back carrying two mugs of hot chocolate each, she thanked whatever force had made her want to find that prison; the same that made her get her shit together again and go back to that road to follow Rick and Carl's tracks after the prison fell.
She had so much to be thankful for.