1Chapter 1: Multiple Jacks

Disclaimer: I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean nor any of it's characters. I do own the "original" characters that are in here though. Don't worry, you'll recognize them. -

"My peanut," the infamous Jack Sparrow stated very matter-of-fact like to his stricken self. He looked up. "Haul the halyard! Slacken braces!"

"Aye captain!" Another Jack Sparrow replied cheerily before yelling to the rest of the crew, "slacken braces!"

The rest of the Jacks (there were about fifty of them) shouted their reply before running to carry out their duties. The captain Jack strode the deck, looking perturbed. "I want a fire down below! Man the yards you filthy toads!" He stopped. A jaunty figure was in front of him.

"Aye aye captain," said she, tipping an invisible hat at him before turning to furl a sail with the others.

He winced at her back, then turned to one of his other selves. "Mr. Sparrow." He smiled grimly at the unfortunate man.

"Aye captain?"

He strode up. "What say you about the condition of this tack line?" He smiled disarmingly, but other Jacks and the girl rose without a sound to watch.

The man looked disturbed. "It be proper to my eyes sir."

"Proper?" The captain was upset now. "It is not proper nor suitable, sir. It is neither acceptable nor adequate. It is, in obvious fact, an abomination." He unfurled the line and threw it into the man's hands.

He grimaced as he put the ropes back in its place. "Beggin' your pardon, sir, but perhaps if you gave a man another chance."

The captain grinned. "Shall I?" Without a second's hesitation he drew his blade and ran the man through.

The lesser Jack gasped as the sword went through his stomach, staring, horrified, at his more anger-prone self. The captain simply whispered into his ear, "it's that sort of thinking got us into this mess." He grinned at the fallen body, then tried to clean his sword to no avail. "We have lost speed and therefore time!" He turned to his uncomfortable crew. "Precious time, which cannot be recovered once lost. Do you understand?"

The crew audibly, but still uncomfortably, agreed. The girl stood at a jaunty angle, looking disapproving. "Do you now?" He shouted, striding towards them and making them hurry back. "It will all have to be redone. All of it! And let this serve as a lesson to the lot of you."

She smirked. "It's the doldrums, sir. They have the entire crew on edge."

He turned to her, livid, and unaware that there was no one left but she and him. "I have no sympathy for any of you feculent maggots, and no more patience to pretend otherwise."

She frowned. "Jack, it's only you and me now."

He blinked, before turning his nose up a bit. "I knew that. Come!" He dashed to the rail and seized a rope. "Let's wash our hands of this madness."

They landed on the hard, white earth with a thump, the girl anxious. "But Jack! Shouldn't we stay with the ship?"

"Miss Johnson!" He turned on her, dreadlocks flying everywhere. "Who was it who found you wandering aimlessly and plucked you from the merciless desert?"

She turned her eyes down. "You sir."

"And tell me, miss Sariah. Who is the captain of that brilliant ship?" He waved a proud hand toward the stranded vessel.

She smirked a little. "You are."

"So who will be giving orders here miss Sariah?" He placed his hands on his hips, looking for all the world like a stern father lecturing his child.

"You will captain Sparrow."

"Call me Jack," he muttered, scanning the horizon. "My soul, I do swear, for a breeze," he growled, testing the air for wind. "Gust. Whisper. A tiny, miniature lick!" He had started to stride into the desert with Sariah following him doggedly. He stopped suddenly, making her run into him with a little yelp. After shooting a quick glare in her direction, he sniffed the air. His gaze went down and landed on a rock laying very innocently on the hard ground. He picked it up, looked at it a moment, then threw it wildly away from him. He put an arm about Sariah and began conversing with her.

"Yes, sir, I know but why? Why would he do that?" Sariah shook her head as if confused and hurt.

He simply grinned at her charmingly. "Because he's a lummox, isn't he? Well," he touched her nose, making her blink, "we shall have a magnificent garden party, and he's not invited!" They giggled together for a moment, when Jack stopped quite suddenly.

Sariah turned with him, and was startled to see the rock was right behind them. "Jack." She took his sleeve and pulled on it. "Didn't you just throw that away?"

He smiled at her and picked it up, frowning at it. "It's a rock darling." He glared at it a moment, then dragged his tongue across it to see if it had the taste of the sea on it. He grimaced. It tasted of something badly burnt. He didn't know quite what. Crabs? He furiously threw it as hard as he could, watching as it bounced away.

Sariah ignored him as he went away muttering, "now we're being followed by rocks. Never had that before." She watched where the rock had fallen, looking thoughtful. She started when legs popped out along with tiny claws and eyestalks. "For the love of- Jack!" She whirled to find Jack frantically tugging on a rope. "Jack! The rock, it-"

He rolled his eyes toward her, then suddenly fell backwards onto the ground, the rope still clutched feebly in his hands. "Jack!" She ran to him, pressing a hand to his forehead. "You didn't try to pull the entire boat-" he glared at her fiercely- "er, ship- did you?" He simply shrugged, then passed out. She looked up at the sky in despair. "Why him? Why did he have to find me? He's handsome and charming enough, but what does that count for in- the- locker . . .?" She stared in wonder as the ship slowly began to move.

In a few frantic movements, she managed to lift Jack, drag him to the ship, haul him up a ladder, and lay him in his quarters. She ran to the bow of the ship, laughing with excitement as the boat picked up speed. A breeze hit her face and she knew they were headed for the sea!