a note from the author:
who didn't have a love/hate relationship with the karen dog glitch when they first played harvest moon 64? finally, the beautiful karen was attainable for marriage in only a night. no more veryberries, no more searching aimlessly for her at the beach in the mornings, no more "don't talk to me so much". just a throbbing pink heart and those gorgeous green eyes full of love for your character... right? read on.
the karen dog glitch
(as told by poochy the dog)
As far as dogs go, I had a pretty good life. I ran with the horses, I chased the hens, I wrestled with the cocks. My master was loving and patient, but more importantly, he was respectable. Before Jack, the farm had been a different place. My days were spent amongst the debris-ridden fields, chasing wild animals who made homes underneath the abandoned soil.
Jack came and the animals left. I liked him right away. Jack would smile and laugh and chase me around the farm and get excited about absolutely nothing. Together we uprooted every weed on that farm and replaced them all with tall rows of vegetables.
For the first few days, we didn't even leave the farm. We worked our bones and bodies until muscles ached and we collapsed on the bed in the farm house together until the morning came again (as it always did). Jack slept soundly and the sounds of his breathing made me feel safe and helped me drift off at the foot of his bed every night.
The town itself was bright and beautiful. Once the farm became a farm again we began to spend our days with the people of flower bud village, the animals in moon mountain, and everything in between. Jack led; I followed. He would often comment on that fact. "Poochy, you're such a good boy! I can't believe you don't even need a leash." I had no idea what this "leash" device was and I certainly had no intentions of finding out. For that reason i remained a "good boy" for the entirety of our friendship.
He cared for me and enabled me to explore more of the world. for that I was grateful; I began to really love and respect my master. Our partnership was the kind of bond that man could some reason only seem to develop with animals. Jack would talk. He would talk a lot, and I had all the time in the world to listen. He would tell me stories of the city, of his past, of his mother that died during childbirth and everything in between. It took me a long time to understand why he so often talked to me about things that, in the company of others, he never mentioned a word about. One day, he told me. "Poochy, you just listen. You never make suggestions or give advice. I can say anything and you love unconditionally. But people... people just like to hear themselves talk." After that, Jack began filling the farm with animals.
The first, Pegasus: a brown and black pony gifted to us by Ann Green. Ann had a kind face and pretty eyes and hair that smelt amazing when i would bury my face in her neck. It smelt like yesterday's sunshine and cold milk. I did think she was beautiful, but then so was everyone, in their own way. Even I could admit, though, that she wasn't beautiful like Karen.
Ann had given us a pony and that year I watched it grow into a steed. Before Jack could ride Pegasus, he lived in the barn with the first new addition we could afford: Nala. She was a baby lamb and she was adorable and Jack babied the bejesus out of her, brushing and trimming her coat meticulously and hand-feeding her treats. The odd morning, when we went into the barn for chores and I wasn't quite awake yet, I'd nuzzle up under Nala's fur and nap while waiting for Jack to ship the crops.
The barn filled up and the crop field expanded and the farm still felt empty. It needed a woman's touch and I wasn't the only one who'd noticed. Jack still didn't have a girlfriend, though it wasn't for lack of trying. Karen Leonardi had sharp edges and cold eyes and an ass you could bounce a quarter off of. Not that I had a clue what that was supposed to mean. I had never actually met Karen; that had just been Jack's description of her. And he spent a lot of time describing her. Every morning and every night.
Jack had been visiting Karen at night at the bar she worked at in the village. To no avail, as Jack would often talk about how tough she was to crack. For almost the entire two seasons we had lived her, Jack had been bringing Karen everything her heart desired. We her grew tomatoes, collected her wild berries, picked her flowers... according to jack, she just wasn't having it. But her beauty had entranced him; the crueler she was, the more challenging she got. Seeing my master act like a love-struck fool was both entertaining and refreshing. But, I did feel bad that his love was seeming to go unrequited.
I remember the day I met Karen. Jack and I were delivering eggs from his new hen, Athena, to Elli. Elli was nice, but she didn't play with me much. She always seemed nervous; maybe it's because when I tried to get her to chase me, I found she couldn't really run very fast. Elli was just okay. She smelt like flour and pastry filling and maybe something else, too. Was it cinnamon? Luckily I didn't have to sit there and think about it much longer; it was 5pm, and the bakery was closing, politely rushing us out the door.
"Shoot... I didn't realize what time it was," Jack moaned. He didn't have the time or the energy to go back to the farm to drop me off. He tore off a quarter of the jumbo sized cookie he had charmed Elli into giving him, and knelt down to feed it to me.
"Okay boy." Jack looked me directly in the eye. "This is important. I've gotta take you to the bar to meet Karen. I don't have time to drop you off." just as I suspected. "So you have to please, please be a good boy for me." I silently promised that I would.
to be continued... right now.