THE INHERITANCE – a prequel
Jess discovers more about his family that he never knew. 5/5/17
CHAPTER 1: BARN DOORS AND OAT SACKS
The afternoon stage was just pulling up the hill and the unhitched original team followed Jess into the corral like puppy dogs and he closed the gate. They were following him so closely, however, that when he turned to begin unharnessing them and check each one over for cuts and harness sores, he almost got run over. They were busy sniffing his pockets where Jess had hung his hands after cleaning the oat storage area and they were hungry, tired and ready for the quick brush down and the hay he already had out for them. He no sooner got the corral gate latched when Slim came driving in on the farm wagon from the other side of the house and Mike and his younger school friend, Joey, were crawling all over the load of oat sacks in the back of the wagon. It was good to see the oats arrive, the barrel was empty when Jess went to get some and he'd cleaned the barrels out and swept the surrounding wood pallets they sat on all spiffy clean and ready for the new load. Jess may always seem to be dusty, dirty and sweaty, but his gear and horse was always clean and polished and he had to keep an eye on Slim's barn. Slim tended to let the barn be a barn and if Jess couldn't catch the pallets in between oat loads, that barn tended to attract mice which, in turn, invited other creeping critters of the slithering, scaly nature. While Jess hung the harnesses on their pegs Slim smiled and waved then proceeded to artfully back the wagon up to the open barn door ….or at least the best he could with a 7 year old and his 6 year old city kid best friend giggling and climbing all over their moving jungle gym. Boyhood at that age was never ending fun. The 12 mile ride back from town with the two youngsters was about all the tall bachelor's nerves could handle though, and he was delighted to see Jess on the other side of the fence available to be volunteered to help unload and direct some of these boys' enthusiasm. Jess was such a natural with kids, they'd follow him over the cliff and Slim chuckled to himself, most likely the "little boy Jess" would be right in front leading them over the edge of excitement and they'd follow him safely to the ground, or land on top of him as he protected them. Jess fascinated Slim. In some ways, he was the hard, steel-eyed gunfighter with an instant temper, other times he was the little kid who was robbed of his childhood and Slim enjoyed seeing Jess drop into moments of boyishness, or better, enjoyed the opportunities his ranch provided those types of moments. It was especially funny when Jess was swiping slices of Daisy's apple pie, or a stash of cookies she only thought she had hidden and poor Mike got blamed later finding Jess tucking cookie crumbs in from the corner of his mouth unaware Mike hadn't known of the theft or moved fast enough to escape Daisy's policing. Most of the time, Jess was a bottomless pit for food normally found in male teenagers, but Slim figured somehow during Jess' teen years there had never been enough food in his life and he was just living that age of a "hollow leg" a decade late.
"Hey, Jess, ready to …." Slim pulled the reins tight and shoved his foot hard down on the brake lever.
"Ya, I know…..help unload." Jess' deep voice responded and he was already walking through the barn, waved his hand at Slim like saluting with a hat on.
Jess had dropped the tail gate and it was swinging freely off the bed of the wagon by the time Slim jumped down and took two strides to the back of the wagon. The oat sacks were huge, weighing between 75 and 80 pounds depending on who stitched them closed. It took a good lift with the legs to heave the sack onto the shoulder, turn and walk it inside the barn door to the right and stack them. One sack would be opened and emptied into an old oak barrel for daily feedings. Jess had his first sack on his shoulder and halfway to the pallet, followed by Slim and they alternated back and forth. Jess was somewhere deep in thought and turned short once nearly running smack into Slim's chest on an incoming and both had to pull up and step around each other like dance partners who'd missed a beat in the rhythm. Unseen by either of them, Joey climbed through the bench area of the wagon and as he exited, his foot hit the brake lever partially releasing it. There was one bag left in the wagon all the way up to the bench and Slim's long legs had caught up to Jess who was preparing to jump into the wagon. Slim simply lifted his long, long and longer leg up stepping into the wagon like it was a mere stair and passed Jess whapping him on the shoulder as he jumped past.
"I'll get it, Jess, then you can fill the barrel from your shoulder..." Slim smiled at Jess, "since you're closer to it."
Jess shrugged, pulling his mouth into a half smile at Slim's attempted "short people" joke. He was thinking fewer steps was good with him. Trying to drag that last sack to the back of the wagon, muscle it off, then feed the barrel one handed pulling the string, was a big last move better shared by two. Tilting a sack off his shoulders was less work by standing still than dragging the heavy sack the length of the wagon. Slim's long legs always meant, for him, half the work because he took half as many steps covering the same distance as normal height people. Jess stood facing the wagon waiting for Slim to drag the sack and place it on his shoulder and wiped his forehead with his bandana glad he wasn't hauling the weight and heat of his holster. Slim always managed to do the heavy work in the heat of the day when Jess would've preferred early morning. Just as Slim lowered the sack onto Jess' shoulder, in his own world of play Joey jumped down from the wagon in the middle of the chicken flock who were out for their daily constitutional near the wagon. It sent the flock…um… flocking, cackling and in short hops of flight right under the horse's feet and noses. The horses, terrified of the noisy monsters attacking their feet, tried to back up away from the chaos driving the wagon backwards, sending Slim backwards onto his bum rolling half way back up to the bench. The tail end of the wagon lurched back pinning Jess to the barn door frame which cracked loudly. Because the brake was still partially engaged, the horses couldn't move very far, so they pushed back then broke forward several times rocking the wagon against the door frame Jess was trapped against. Slim instantly jumped onto the bench, grabbed the reins, kicked the brake handle fully unlocking it and drove the horses forward several feet, then relocked them down. He then jumped through the wagon and off the tail end as if there was no step down but still couldn't reach Jess before he collapsed to the ground with the oat sack on top of him.
"JESS!" Slim's scream would have rivaled any Native American's war cry and inside the house Daisy dropped the bowl she was kneading bread dough.
There was no sound coming from Jess who had dropped in silence. Slim pulled the oat sack off of Jess as though it was nothing bigger than a canteen, finding Jess on his left side curled up tighter than a ball bug and barely breathing, screaming in silence from agony. Mike and Joey came running up to see what the commotion was about and Daisy heard that tone in Slim's voice and opened the kitchen door.
"Mike, take Joey into the house. Daisy keep them inside!"
"C'mere boys. Do what Slim says." She waved them in and gathered them like chicks one under each arm. "How bad is it Slim?"
"Don't know yet."
Slim kneeled down and tenderly pulled at Jess' arm trying to get him to uncurl, and breathe. Jess' face was ashen white, his teeth grit, eyes jammed closed and he was rocking slightly and in complete agony. From the way Jess was curled Slim was certain Jess had gotten trapped against the barn and the wagon at his um…..roots.
"Breathe, Jess. Please, breathe. Don't hold your breath, you'll pass out. Pant…!"
Gasping and now moaning, Jess tried to push Slim's hands away, rolled over sideways trying to stand up and get away, but fell back down unable to move his legs and still curled tight.
Slim got a little peeved, "Daggone it, Jess! Let me in so I can help. Where'd it get you!?" He pulled stronger at Jess' back trying to get in and Jess couldn't resist Slim's strength and rolled to his back still curled.
"Leg" was barely a whisper through the grit teeth. Jess tried to pant, but that didn't last long. "Just…minute." Jess began centering his curl toward and hugging his right leg and the left one loosened ever so slightly and Slim began searching in between Jess' hands for blood.
"Did it break?"
"Don…no." Jess gasped for air but his voice was at least one octave higher than normal, "Heard crack." Rolling back and forth, "Oh daggum!... Hurts."
Slim reached around and with one hand dragged the oat sack to Jess' head so he could lean back against it, put his hand on Jess' shoulder and gently tugged him to lean back. They were just outside the opening of the barn door and the wagon was visually blocking the kitchen door.
"Here, lean back on this and let me see if you're bleeding."
Jess began whimpering out loud under his breath, and with reluctance slowly gave way to Slim's strong prying hands. He leaned back partially but didn't remove his hands from the right thigh and knee….
"It's all pulled up.. .. feels like….hard cramp….oh…dadg…ow." Jess sucked in air then in consternation ordered, "Easy!" Jess was upset because Slim's over-worried anxious pawing at him was too fast and too strong.
Daisy called from the house. "Shall I bring my medic bag?"
Instantly Jess began vigorously shaking his head "no!" and Slim suspected the damaged area was affecting a larger portion of Jess' midsection than just the admitted leg he was hoarding.
"Not yet, Daisy." Slim yelled back calmly. "Stay there. Checking things out."
Slowly Slim was able to get past Jess' hands but he had to unpeel Jess' fingers one by one off the leg finding no gushing blood or broken bones poking through the clothing.
"Don't see any bones or blood like it's broke, Jess. Where?"
Jess drew with the back edge of his hand getting his wind back,
"Above the knee and up the middle of the…was the floor and sideboard, just as I turned away with the weight of the oats on it."
He sucked in air in a gasp as his head went back and up,
"Didn't see the wagon move for the oats. Dadgum, Slim, felt like it went all the way through." his face was all pinched up.
Slim drew lightly behind Jess' outlined area not even touching the pant on his leg but Jess still winced, sucked in air and yelped, "OW!" and pushed Slim's hand away. There was a definite dirt line on his light colored jeans where Jess had indicated but he could now see with Jess' hands cleared away, there was no other area of outlined dirt.
"Anywhere else?" Dr. Slim waved toward Jess' midsection still wanting the whole truth.
"Not sure….it's all screaming." Nerves in that part of the body are all an extremely tight connected fiber network and when one area is offended, they all loyally chime in concert, even down the other leg and not always in the same key.
"Stay put." Slim patted Jess' back and stood up turning to leave.
"Not moving." Jess whimpered quietly, convinced he'd be crippled the rest of his life, "ain't going nowhere."
He mumbled still half curled with the knee at his nose and hugging his bent leg like it was his wife….if he'd had one. Those connected nerves in the intersection between his two thighs just north of his roots where the holster belt normally sat were still yelling off-harmony in empathy and with Slim out of sight, Jess gently rubbed them with the back edge of his left hand trying to distract their discomfort and calm them down. The left leg was still not straight, but he'd managed to put the foot down to steady the rocking and the new waves of trembling that was besieging him.
Slim went to the kitchen door where Daisy was standing with the two boys in her skirt tails. She'd been nearly on tip toe and her face was full of concern taking all of her self-control to keep from running to the barn door.
"The wagon backed him into the barn door frame and trapped his right thigh." Slim was indicating with his hand on his thigh. "No bleeding, but how do you tell if the leg is broken without breaking through the skin?"
"If he can move the lower part of his leg, see if he can put some weight down on it. That should tell you. I can come…"
"That's ok, Daisy." Slim waved her off and turned to go not looking at her, "It's a man thing right now."
"If you can, get a look at the skin, check for bruising, discoloration or any break in the skin, too. If the undamaged skin elsewhere on his body is cool, dry and pale, then he's going into shock."
"Yes, Ma'am." He called over his shoulder.
Jess was still cradling his thigh and mostly curled up pressing the top of his thigh against his chest trying to get it to uncramp, but the cramp was so tender it complained at any touch and he was trying to pant through it again, still not getting the rhythm. Slim arrived back to Jess' side and knelt down.
"Daisy says we need to see if you can stand and put weight down on it and move the leg below your knee…see if it's broke."
Jess looked back at Slim as though he was asking him to jump off the barn roof, eyebrows pointed up so high they were touching the fallen curl that constantly stands guard over his forehead,
"Ss…tand?" his voice wavered.
"I need to see the skin, too, Jess, so you're gunna have to drop 'em."
Slim was trying desperately not to smile at Jess predicament not sure how much was real pain and how much was exaggerated and capitalizing on a chance for sympathy.
Jess face became even more horrified and his eyes widened.
"In public?" this time his voice cracked.
"C'mon…you ain't got nothing I don't have. We'll move over there inside the barn where nobody but the horses can see anything and they don't much care."
Slim nodded toward a stall away from the door and he began to stand up reaching for Jess. It wasn't like Jess had much choice. Slim towered over him by at least four inches and outweighed him by 20 pounds. He grabbed Jess by the waist belt and began standing him up and Jess wrapped his arms tighter around his leg as though it might fall off at the hip joint, so it was mostly Slim pulling Jess to his feet. But standing up after a deep compression like that drained the blood from his head and on one leg Jess wobbled against dizziness and almost fell over backward and that part was real and Slim's smile dissipated quickly. "Whoa, fella!" Slim had to make a definite catch because Jess was all muscle and muscle is weight, but he caught and pulled him back up and then held him still until Jess leveled out. Slim could see tiny sweat beads of pain on Jess' upper lip and realized this testament was truthfully reporting the agony Jess was feeling and Slim frowned. They hobbled into a stall for a better look and to give Jess something to grab onto where Jess very gingerly let gravity pull the leg straight but it was slow and painful several times having to pull it back up with his hand because the cramping wasn't turning loose. Eventually he was barely able to put some weight down but not by much and he could slowly move his foot and ankle fine. Then doing a second precursory scan of the site for any other human eyes within peeking distance he reluctantly inched his pant leg down on that leg, also curious to assess the damage. It was slow going as well because the swelling had already commenced underneath the tight jeans and the skin surface was throwing a tantrum of hyper-sensitive tenderness so Jess moaned and grimaced every inch of the way. On the top side of the thigh from just at the hip all the way down to the top of the knee and then across the top of the knee and inward, Jess' thigh had a vertical ridge of swollen, cramping muscle forming on the leg which was already turning deep colors of reddish blue, purple and black and it was tremendously tender to the touch. Both men's faces grimaced in pain. Slim looked at Jess' face and Jess looked back at Slim.
"Yep…..I bet you felt that!" Slim smiled trying to lighten Jess' attitude and was just relieved the leg was not smashed by a compression fracture.
It didn't work. Jess was annoyed at any attempt at laughter over nearly losing his leg and having other highly important and extremely vital parts of his anatomy nearly cut off and even now, were still singing off-key in empathy. He retorted sarcastically,
"Well, dadgum Dr. Sherman! Just how did you figure that out!"
Jess was framing his bruised and offended area with his ample hands very gently but decisively as though even the air particles were attacking him and was looking at Slim through watery eyes.
"Here, sit down on the bale in my nice, plush office. Or would you prefer Dr. Daisy's kitchen table with two curious tykes as her medical team?" Slim smiled still working on Jess' attitude, "I can um…. go get her." And he pointed past his shoulder toward the house.
His pants still half down to his knees, heavier sweat beads on his upper lip and now his hair partially askew, Jess' eyes got wide again and he shook his head vigorously and caved as he reached for the bale with his free hand, "Here'll do just fine."
"I'll go get instructions." Slim was still grinning at Jess' retort and he headed for the house.
Jess tugged gingerly to get his pants back up having to inch the tight jeans over the expanding and tender thigh, then quickly complied for the sitting down part and finished buckling the belt. His body was still dealing with shock and the blood levels were still readjusting from standing back up and being restricted from a full blood flow in two way traffic on the thigh, he landed hard on the bale. Somebody who had been unharnessing the team, had left the side barn door to the corral open when coming in to move oat bags, and having heard the distressed tones in his pet human's voice Traveler came walking into the barn munching on a mouthful of hay partially hanging out of his mouth. Even in the darkened barn he walked right to Jess and stuck his head and muzzle over Jess' lap sniffing him sensing something was amiss and going straight to the point of distress. Jess laid his cheek against the side of Traveler's muzzle and lightly caressed him.
"Thanks, Trav…." It was Jess' deep voiced coo… "I really needed that. At least you understand me."
A few strands of hay fell out of the four legged nurse's mouth and landed on Jess' lap and he gathered them and pinched them together and held them for Traveler to retake.
"I'll have to bring your apple later, boy…soon as I can gimp over to the tree."
Traveler took the hay delicacy with the edges of his lips and Jess rubbed his muzzle softly. If nothing else, the nurse's quietness soothed his patient's nerves and Jess was finally able to take a deep breath.
Slim went back to Daisy. "He's white as a ghost and cold, almost passed out when I got him on his feet. Can put a moderate amount of weight on it and no problem moving his ankle and foot. The damage is between the knee and hip and there's a ridge running vertically up the thigh and it's turning all colors of blue, purple and black already. He says it feels like a hard cramp. What do I do next?"
Daisy was impressed with the medical report and its conciseness and nodded.
"Two things, Slim. Keep the compression on the affected area, his pant leg against the swelling should be enough, tight as he wears them, then get the leg up to his hip in cold water…the trough barrel or bathtub will work fine. The cool water will reduce the bleeding internally without shocking it and reduce the bruising and swelling. We're trying to close down any internal bleeding causing the bruising. But, Slim, it's gunna hurt fierce. You think you can hold him down?"
Slim's forehead reached skyward and his eyes widened.
"Hhhol...hm…dow?! Slim was worried. "For um….how long?"
For all his shorter height and lighter weight, Jess had a lower center of gravity, was a mound of pure muscle in all the right places, had an uncanny sense of balance and he not only knew how to use them all, but was well practiced in the art of self-defense. Slim had stood beside Jess as they'd muscled projects together on the ranch and been amazed at the power he'd felt contained coming from such a compact body. He'd even felt that muscle through a fist a few times and 'Jess in pain' would only make those impacts worse. Push come to shove, he was in no hurry to repeat it, in fact made it a point to NOT get into range. Now she's telling him to create an opportunity?
"Until the leg goes from numb to throbbing, probably a half hour to hour if he can stand it. The longer the better. Be easy pulling the boot off, too."
"Do you have any other ideas, Daisy?" Slim's face was the one now pinched.
"Well I suppose you could take him to the lake." She pulled a wisp of hair off her cheek.
Slim meant other than forcing Jess to put sensitive parts into cold water and he drew one side of his mouth back. Oh well, Slim figured, he could at least easily topple Jess over on one leg and dunk him in the water to cool him off if needed. That MIGHT be enough an advantage. He could for sure outrun Jess with one leg in a barrel of water.
"Do you think you could drive the wagon and take Joey home?"
"Sure, then I'll start supper when I get back. Oh, and Slim."
"Yes, Daisy?"
"Ease his leg into the water slowly. Don't just drop him in all at once. He could pass out on you and he's already dealing with shock." She looked at him from motherly experience. Some 'boys' never grow up, especially when it comes to water.
"Yes, Ma'am." Slim turned to go back to Jess and a smile crossed his face as the argument began in his mind…it was hot today and the lake was nearby… and the wagon was right there….. then he shook his head slightly….. but it would be hilarious to see Jess flailing through the air and …landing splat ... No….not today, that would be cruel. But the thought itself was sure tasty…. a spread-eagled Jess would make a daggum huge crater in that lake…. should I or….shouldn't? He argued with himself but then Joey spoke up only slightly distracting his cogitating looking for opportunities for paybacks.
"I'm sure sorry, Mr. Sherman. I didn't mean to kill anyone." Joey's little voice peeped from behind Daisy and stirred Slim from his reverie, the grin fading slowly.
"It was an accident, Joey. Best you go home now anyway, for supper. You and Mike can play another day."
Slim was in a hurry to get back to Jess, but didn't want kids and a woman hanging around in case Jess needed to scream off the pain. Or… see his embarrassment should a shorter man even in a barrel still knock him over. Just getting Jess to agree to submerge his precious tenderness into a container of very cold well water was going to be a challenge.
Daisy retrieved a big towel and left it on the outside pump, then got Joey and Mike into the wagon while Slim worked on Jess' boot removal, or tried in and around Nurse Traveler's muzzle.
"I see my nurse has been taking care of you." Slim offered still working on Jess' attitude and seizing an opportunity to gain favor for the cold water decision. The way to a cowboy's heart is through his trusted steed….. and stomach….when you can bake pies. For Slim it had to be the steed.
"Ya, well he's the best nurse in your medical facility here. At least he understands me." Jess whimpered.
"He can help me get you to the treatment room."
"What treatment room?" Jess' voice was cracking again.
Daisy had driven the wagon out of the yard and around the house several hundred feet down the road passing the lake behind the house when they heard the most horrendous tenor-toned scream of pain from a baritone voice that would have terrified the water out of any bully. She shook her head in empathy for both Jess' pain and Slim's ears, winced and thought to herself, 'will need to make a hot apple pie with supper tonight. Poor Jess will need some comforting' and set it in her mind's scheduled agenda for tomorrow to start the hot compresses.
CHAPTER 2: The Attack
They needed food supplies so Slim was driving Ms. Daisy to town in the wagon and Mike was sitting behind the bench breaking a twig into tiny inch size timbers whilst deliberating which creeping critter was next on his bucket list to capture. They'd left Jess at the ranch to handle the next stage and Slim had already harnessed the replacement team so all he had to do was change them over. Jess had spent the last two days soaking up attention first from his bed at night, and then from the couch during the day while Daisy kept a steady supply of hot compresses on his thigh, complete with a generous RX of snacks and fresh apple pie. The entire thigh front to back had turned completely blackest blue-purple any of the males had seen and it had a feathered edge down past the knee and up past the hip as the blood flow had barely been able to reestablish itself due to the swelling. Jess had to switch to his loosest pants to have cover for the leg because between the heat of the compress and the injury itself, the swelling was substantial. He could barely hobble short distances within the house and any trip outside required a cane assist. Suffice it to say, in spite of the service of the wait staff, Jess' attitude was suffering worse than his thigh with cabin fever and all of them needed a break from each other.
Arriving in town and pulling to a stop at the general store Slim stepped over Daisy's skirt and jumped down giving her a lift to the ground and Mike jumped off the back end.
"I'll let you get the food, Daisy. I've got to run to the stage office and turn in some papers, be right back."
"Ok, Slim. Take your time." Daisy was hoping to catch up on the gossip… er, the town social news.
"Probably be just a few minutes or so, Daisy. I don't want to leave Jess alone that long."
"Very well."
Slim hopped back on the wagon and drove to the stage office and went inside.
"Oh, hi, Mort. Didn't expect to see you here." Slim handed his paper report and his envelope to the stage office clerk. "Hey, Jerry, just routine stuff this week."
"Morning, Slim. We've got a problem, was just discussing it with Jerry then headed out to see you."
"What's wrong?"
"Been getting wires in over the last week or so about some hellions hijacking stages and assaulting passengers, robbing the stage stops and then dumping the stages off cliffs with the people and drivers onboard. All the deaths look like accidents with just cuts and bruises, but there's too many injuries, they are becoming more consistent with stage roll overs and worse than that, they seem to be working their way this direction. Their favorite targets are women passengers traveling alone and they sexually assault them before they go over the cliff."
"Oh, that's not good news, Mort. How close are they and how many are there?"
"Well, Laramie seems next in line, so stops on both sides need to be alerted. Was checking with Jerry here. He said the stage that just left had a nice looking and very young widow from Denver on board, headed to Salt Lake City. It's reported there's about 5 or 6 in this gang. Did you pass the stage when you came in?"
"No, but we went the other route. Left Jess to handle it so Daisy could get some groceries."
"That's never good to hear."
"What's that, Mort?"
"Leaving Jess alone to handle something with this potential for violence. How long before you head out?"
"Just as short as we can do a turn around. I didn't want to leave him very long. He got bruised up couple days ago on a wagon accident, so he's not at 100 %. Jerry, was the stage on time?
"Actually running early, Slim. Been gone a good…" he looked at the clock on the wall, "hour and half, close to 2 hours. It's cool today, the horses are all fired up and moving along and there were no other passengers to wait for. This Mrs. Bartlette seemed to be in a hurry."
"Oh, fine! Ok..well, we're on our way, Mort." Slim had his hand already on the doorknob.
"You want me to come? I need to alert the other direction, too."
"You can check them, then route back through us." Slim was already going through the door.
"See ya then, Slim. I'll see if I can find out where the Doc is and his schedule if we need him."
Slim hopped back into the wagon and hurried back to the supply store, took one step off the wagon and jogged inside. It took a good 10 minutes to get finished and loaded and they were on their way back to the ranch. Hanging onto her hat at the speed Slim was driving, Daisy gasped,
"Do you mind telling me just what the hurry is, Slim? I hope I got everything we needed."
"Mort was at the stage office, apparently there's some riff raff headed this way who've been attacking stages and relay stations. They specialize in terrorizing solo female passengers and one was loaded on this morning's stage. Should be at the ranch about now and I don't want Jess alone if they are after this stage."
"Oh, my."
"Mike, I want you and Daisy to stay in the wagon when we get home until I tell you it's clear."
"Ok. You think Jess will be ok?" Mike was standing behind the bench hanging on for dear life.
"I don't know, Mike. That's what I need to check. You take care of Ms. Daisy for me."
"Yes, Sir."
Slim's team was lathered by the time they pulled up to the ranch and he immediately groaned looking around. There had been a light rain shower in the early morning putting a fresh layer of undisturbed dirt all through the yard. But now, by the tracks on the ground the stage had already been there and departed yet the exchange team he'd prepared was still tied at the corral and there were extra hoof tracks around the yard. All the doors to the house were wide open and the front window was broken and the barn door was hanging by one hinge. The horses were undisturbed but the chickens were nowhere in sight. Slim parked under the tree across the yard, put the brakes on, drew his gun and told Daisy and Mike to get down and hide behind the wagon. He slowly approached the house and went in, clearing it of human presence, but it was a mess and completely ransacked. It looked like an all- night alcoholic party of several hundred people had been there. Fairly sure there were no intruders present Slim hollered, "Jess!" but there was no answer. He went to the barn and it was ransacked inside, but like the house, no damage to the structure. He yelled for Jess in the barn, too, and still received no answer. He found a rope tied to the lean-to's pole that was frayed at the end as though a dull knife had chewed through it and there were blood marks on the pole.
Still holding his gun, but pointed down Slim returned to the wagon where Daisy came around the rear end with Mike in her skirt tails.
"It's not good, Daisy. The house and barn have been ransacked, I've found blood and Jess isn't here." He pointed to the stagecoach tracks.
"The stage has been here and left without changing teams and from these tracks on the road, be nearly impossible to follow the mess they're in."
He pointed to the tracks leading out and up the hill when something caught his eye.
"I'll unload the wagon quick, Daisy, then I need to go check something."
Daisy gathered Mike and walked to the front door tentatively going inside and Slim drove the wagon to the kitchen door and quickly unloaded the supplies and was back in the wagon within a minute…something was nagging him at the top of the hill. While Daisy and Mike worked on the house, Slim drove to the top of the incline leading away from the house just before it makes a u-turn and continues uphill and he jumped down off the wagon. On the embankment leading down and about 12" off the dirt road, the grass, weeds and small volunteer baby trees were all bent over or broken and upon closer inspection of the ground he found more blood. Standing back up he looked back down the incline of the embankment facing toward the house and saw a path of more broken weeds, grass and small, baby trees. He jumped back on the wagon and went to the u-turn where he could turn the wagon and went back down the hill to where it was safe to drive the wagon off the dirt road and into the valley and then drove back to the bottom of the incline where the bottom of the broken weed path was, locked down the brakes and jumped down. Searching the pathway of broken weeds, at the ground level to the valley and behind a boulder he could see the sole and heel of a black boot he instantly knew was Jess' and he ran to him and kneeled down. Jess was breathing, barely. The boulder hid Jess from the view of the house unless you were right on top of him at the boulder and there was a layer of pine boughs on the ground where Jess was laying, and oddly, a skirt was flowing out from under his legs. Slim could see Jess was laying on top and mostly covering a female body and they were intertwined. A large bleeding gash ran down Jess' back that looked like it was from a jagged edge of a boulder up the incline somewhere and his shirt was torn over the gash. Bull whip rips in his clothes all over his body was also bleeding as was the outer edge of his right forearm that was spread across the female's back. His legs and arms were wrapped around her like a human cage and had taken the brunt of the roll down the embankment. Both of them were alive but unconscious, bruised and had cuts on their faces and hands. The female was alive and wearing a very fancy dress with a slight poofy slip type thingy women wear but he didn't know what they called them. The dress had been torn in several places but not so much as revealing anything. Jess was mostly laying on top of her and wedged against the boulder and to get to the female required Slim to move him off of her first. First Slim backed up and maneuvered the back of the wagon closer, then went back and gently lifted Jess off the female and carried him into the back of the wagon, then checked out the female, gently rolling her over trying to discern who needed first aide first. She was about Jess' age and more petite, a beautifully stunning woman with dark wavy hair and a porcelain complexion now holding a few bruises on her cheeks and chin. Slim was no expert in ladies clothes but her dress was shiny with lace and was in the same deep blue color as Jess' eyes. She didn't appear to have any injuries, the blood on her clothes were from being close in tight to Jess', so Slim picked her up and gently laid her in the wagon next to Jess. Slim looked at both of them laying in the back of the wagon and shook his head slightly muttering to himself,
"What has happened this time, Pard?" His voice was soft recognizing Jess was just being Jess and rescuing pretty women at whatever cost to himself. This was going to be one heck of a story…. and he drove as softly as he could back to the house.
It took Slim and Daisy hours to get Jess cleaned and patched up. Daisy did a thorough check on the female and found only bruises and she had a slight bruise on the side of her forehead which had caused her unconscious state. They put her in Daisy's bed and left the door open while they worked on Jess on the dining table then Slim pulled his bed out to the dining room along the wall between the two bedrooms so they could keep an eye on him. The female had a drawstring purse wrapped around her left wrist that held identification papers stating she was Josephine Bartlette from Denver and they left it on the table next to her bed. Mike had found a piece of luggage in the front bushes that had been tossed off the top of the stage and the tag identified it as belongings of Josephine. From Daisy's medical diagnosis, they determined Jess' right shoulder had dislocated but it had popped itself back in place and was severely bruised, she assessed there were soft tissue injuries from it though. His left knee had been kicked in by a muddy boot and Daisy cleaned it and bandaged it to keep it from moving until the doctor could repair it but she was sure the knee cap had been broken. He had several broken or cracked ribs, bruises concentrated at his stomach, and bullwhip welts of various degrees of depths which were concentrated around his mid-section and thighs, the ones on the right thigh were bleeding worse because they opened the 3 day old bruise allowing it to drain and it was messy. The more concern was the ragged edged gash that ran diagonally down his back and required an intense amount of time for Daisy to thoroughly clean and then sew parts of it closed and what was not cut, was deeply bruised. The outer bone of his right forearm was an open fracture half way between his elbow and wrist and Daisy spent a long time and cleaned it thoroughly, too, and set it in a splint and then bandaged his entire right shoulder and arm to his torso to immobilize them. They had him propped on his left side so she could monitor the back injuries.
Once they got the two patients settled the three of them finished straightening the house up, Slim put the horses away and then had to handle the afternoon stage. The stage driver reported that the morning stage from the Sherman Relay station was being reported missing and that the sheriff and posse from both Centennial and Laramie were out scouting for it, which included Mort. Daisy made a light supper because no one was much hungry and they were all exhausted still looking at a long night. Mort showed up just after dark and after the dishes were cleared just missing a meal again. Mike had gone to bed and Daisy and Slim were monitoring Jess while sitting in front of the fireplace with coffee, loading up on caffeine for the long night. They heard hooves approach and Slim met the front door with his handgun tucked behind his thigh. It was Mort and Slim put his gun away.
"Slim, Mrs. Cooper."
"Come in, Mort. Long day."
"Yes it was…some to go yet." He replied.
"Had any dinner, Mort?"
"No Ma'am and I really couldn't eat anything. Coffee smells good though."
Daisy got up and retrieved a cup for him.
Mort walked up to Jess' bed, "Oh, no. I was afraid of this. How bad?"
"Been beaten, bruised up, bull whipped, some deep cuts. Daisy worked on him for hours and says he'll need a doc for his knee that was bashed in."
"Doc Bennett had to go way north to deliver a baby today. I left word for him to come here as soon as he could make it but it won't be until tomorrow. Will that be soon enough?"'
Daisy handed Mort his coffee, "Tomorrow is fine. Please have a seat, Mort."
"Well, ok, just a moment. Wanted to bring you up to date."
"What do you know?" Slim was ready for answers.
"I got a wire just after finding out where the Doc would be. It was reporting that the stage from Laramie was overdue so Sheriff Grant and his posse from that end began working back this way and I took several men out to search going his direction. His group found the site just before we got there, the stage and one driver sent over the ridge just before the Hamilton farm 'bout ½ way out to Centennial. The driver was broken up and dead and the stage was almost beyond recognizable. The Hamilton farm was ransacked and they were also all ..deceased. The sheriff was aware this family didn't believe in banks and nothing of any value was left in the house. The tracks leading from the farm were headed north and west and Sheriff Grant and his posse were going back to town to wire in the US Marshals and get the Hamilton's taken care of. So for now, it looks like this gang is headed away from here. We lost light after that and will pick it up again tomorrow. Do you know what happened here? What about the female passenger? She's missing."
"She's in Daisy's bed unconscious looks like just some bruises. Don't know what happened yet, neither one has woke up…just what it appears, Jess got tore up somehow protecting her. The house and barn were ransacked, but we don't keep valuables out here. I found Jess and Mrs. Bartlette in the valley at the bottom of the hill. My guess, knowing Jess, he grabbed her and rolled out of the stage as it was climbing the hill." Slim gestured the direction plus he knew they keep their valuables in either the attic or the cliff cellar, but he wasn't going to share that information. "They find the team?"
"Ya, they were all munching on some grass about a half mile off from the wreck site. The Sheriff took them on to his town and will turn them over to the nearest stage stop. I've got to get back to town and monitor the wires. This whole thing has the area lit up and poor Wally's fingers are burning up on that switch."
He stood up handing his empty cup back to Daisy and Slim walked him to the door.
"Just sorry to see Jess get the rough end of this one. I'll be back in touch tomorrow."
He put his hat on and strode out the door and Slim waited to see him ride off and then closed the door.
"That is one tired sheriff. Don't know if I've ever seen Mort that exhausted." Slim commented.
He heard no comment by Daisy and turned around. She had laid the coffee cup on the table and put her head down on her arms folded on top the table and looked like she was out like a light. "I guess he's not the only one." Slim mumbled and reached for the afghan on the couch and gently laid it across her shoulders.
The movement either woke her or she wasn't quite asleep.
"I'm just resting my shoulders, Slim."
"You can rest your shoulders on my bed in there, Daisy. Just Mike in there sleeping and I'll be up watching Jess."
"I'll be fine."
Mrs. Bartlette appeared at Daisy's bedroom door somewhat disheveled but somehow still looking amazingly beautiful and Slim quickly saw the movement. She was hanging onto the door frame and he reached over taking her elbow to steady her.
"Here, come sit down, Mrs. Bartlette."
He ushered her to the table and she sat down while stiffly trying to resettle her hairdo and smooth her dress making note of the tears and blood stains. Daisy raised her head and seeing who it was quickly stood and glided over to her side.
"How are you feeling, Mrs. Bartlette? Can I get anything for you?" Daisy cooed.
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a bother to anyone. How do you know who I am?"
"Stage manifest records had your name, Mrs…." Slim started
"Ooh PLEASE, call me Josie. That other name is way too formal, especially since you saved my life. Where is the young man who…?"
She looked around and saw Jess on the bed not far away all tucked and covered…still unconscious. The only thing showing was his face and head.
"OH, NO!"
Josie yelped weakly and immediately pulled herself to her feet, held Slim in place with her hands so she could skinny around him, and staggered to the bed. She immediately knelt down at Jess' head and with trembling fingers touched the curl hanging over his forehead lightly pushing it back into his hair so she could see his face better and started crying. The curl flipped back down over his forehead the minute she released it.
Slim pulled a chair to her bum and took her elbow to help her seat herself off the floor and she jerked her elbow out of his hand abruptly. Daisy understood and offered her a hanky she had in her pocket and Josie accepted that. Wiping her flow of tears, she looked quickly at Slim and Daisy but then back at Jess,
"How bad hurt is he? Will he live? He's just GOT to live! Oh! What a brave man! What's his name?" Questions poured from her mouth as fast as the tears were streaming from her eyes.
Daisy sat in the chair Slim had pulled up and wrapped Josie in a side hug,
"There, there, dear."
"How bad is he?" Josie asked louder, trying again to get the wayward curl to stick back. It still refused and she made a face at it and tried again. The curl won and she gave up.
"His name is Jess Harper, Josie. He's got some broken bones and bruises, but his pulse is steady and we've gotten the bleeding stopped." Daisy softly advised.
Josie looked back up to Daisy and Slim quickly again with the hanky at her nose and then back to Jess.
"Is he your family?" Both of them saw the same deep blue eyes that Jess has.
"I'm Slim Sherman, this is Daisy Cooper and there's a little boy here named Mike. Jess and I are partners here on this ranch and relay station, but you could say we're family, just not blood related."
"What can I do to help? Does he need a doctor or a specialist? I've got all kinds of money AND connections in Denver. Can get really top of the line anybody out here in….wherever we…" not really familiar with the map…. "well, in no time. Whatever he needs, you just tell me! I can get anything he needs." She looked up at them again through teary eyes she was mopping with the hanky.
"We have a really good doctor here will be out here tomorrow, thank you, Josie. I'm sure we'll know more then." Daisy advised. "What do you need, Sweetheart? Are you hungry, in pain anywhere? I was a nurse during the war, so I can help if you're hurting."
Josie took inventory, checking her parts with conscious effort.
"Um…no, just stiff mostly and some bruises, I think. He's ….you should have seen him, Ma'am…. Mr. Slim…. So brave …and daggone feisty… he looks a bit like my late husband. Ben was a Captain in the Union Army until he was betrayed by a slave and murdered. He'd become injured so's he couldn't go back to the front lines so he ran an underground freedom system, freed hundreds of slaves, too. Unfortunately, the government didn't award his bravery until after he passed, God bless him. He was tall like you Mr. Slim, but had the dark wavy hair like…" she poked at the curl again and it failed to yield. "Ben's eyes were green, though." She turned her head lining up with Jess' face laying on the pillow and touched a bruise on Jess' cheek tenderly. "Did he grow up around here? ….I feel like I know him… from the minute we laid eyes on each other…something familiar."
"No, Josie. He was born and raised in Texas. Didn't get up here until a little over 4 years ago. You spend any time in Texas?"
"Me? Oh…dadgum, No! Wouldn't be caught dea ….well, let's just say I have little interest in Texas." She retreated to lady like communications but Slim couldn't help but grin at her spitfire.
Seemingly unaware she was in an expensive but torn silk dress with lace, she settled herself on the floor sitting Indian style cross legged and directly at Jess' head, her hands in her lap with the moisture laden hanky, seemed perfectly comfortable and not interested in moving.
"Spent my whole life in Colorado. I just love the mountains. My family is what they call "old money" in Denver. Ben's family was, too, and neither of us have siblings. I just know …. I've met Jess somewhere…. Just can't …"
"Are you sure I can't get you something to eat or drink, maybe you'd like to freshen up? We found a piece of your luggage. It's in the bedroom there." Daisy offered.
"No, Ma'am. I'm fine…I'm not moving until hewakesup." She was pouty but adamant and Slim and Daisy exchanged small grins at her saucy impudence in making decisions.
"If it's not too much, Josie, maybe you could share what happened?" Slim asked gently.
She shifted slightly on her bum and looked down for a few moments and her impudent cockiness evaporated instantly.
"Well!" then she sighed deeply, "It wasn't very pretty. I was raised in a sheltered environment, you know, debutante fancy and all those society things. I'd always been told there are parts of Denver a lady just, … a proper lady…just doesn't visit. I think what happened was pretty much what goes on in that part of Denver. Anyway, I have some business in Salt Lake City and the stage was the best route. We left Laramie on the morning stage… I think was this morning?"
Slim nodded yes.
"Ok, well then… it was just the driver and me and we were doing fine until this band of hoodlums started shooting their guns and pulled the coach over. They wanted money, but the driver said he wasn't carrying any and I don't travel with cash and they got upset. A couple of them crawled into the coach and got it moving again and they…" she shivered in disgust…. "they were filthy and disgusting. Hadn't shaved, torn, dirty clothes, missing teeth…their momma's sure didn't do very well in teaching them personal hygiene! They started tossing me back and forth between them and saying instead of money they weren't finding, they were "going to get theirs" from me when we got to the relay station and the coach wasn't bouncing all around. A few minutes later we arrived at the relay station looked like this one…." She looked around the room and frowned. "Are all relay stations built the same?"
Slim smiled at her innocence. "No, Josie, you were here."
"Oh." She blushed slightly and continued, "I guess there was one up with the driver and as soon as we stopped I heard this loud crack sound and then a thud something heavy landing on the roof over us and 3 of the men rode right over Mr. Harper with their horses nearly plowing him into the ground, and they jerked me out of the stage and stood us both together with their guns pointed at us. Mr. Harper started talking to them about the driver and they hit him in the face and told him if he didn't obey, they'd break his neck, too. Two stayed outside with us and the other three started going through the house and barn looking for cash or anything they could find of value. He tried to tell them there was nothing there and they hit his face again. I could tell he was peeved. They were mad still not finding money and decided it was time to take me inside to the bedroom and in grabbing me, they tore my dress. Well, all hel….um tarnation broke loose and Mr. Harper was in the middle ripping and tearing into all 5 of them. Was holding his own pretty darn good, too…'til one of them grabbed his right arm and a second one double grabbed him and they threw him into the stage wheel. I thought sure his shoulder broke. Then they stomped on his left knee caving it in, and dragged him to the pole by the barn, tied him up to it and began whipping him with a bull whip. I have no idea how he managed to stay conscious, but he did. He was sagging pretty badly though and one of the guys grabbed me again to haul me inside, taunting Mr. Harper they could "do it" right there in front of him so he could watch if he liked and they all started reaching for their belt buckles."
Josie stopped and looked endearingly at Jess' unconscious face, this time just touching the curl and not trying to move it. She took another deep sigh.
"I've never seen any man so focused and tight, but it was like this force or explosion came from deep in his boots and travelled up his entire body and he pulled his hands apart ripping the rope loose freeing his hands and he just shot his whole body into the group holding me and everybody fell down. They got madder and grabbed him off the ground and was ready to bash his head in when a rider came up on his horse at a run all lathered and said a wagon was coming down the road and they had to leave. They agreed they'd haul us off down the road and finish both of us off out in the country somewhere before they did what they said was their "usual dump." The leader said that everyone would get their chance at "having both of us" and he grabbed Mr. Harper by the hair, looked him straight in the face and told him he'd soon find out what it felt like being a woman. They threw us into the passenger compartment, one of them did the driving and the others took off ahead of us on their horses."
Daisy had her hands to her face wiping tears with her apron and Slim shook his head knowing that's what Jess would have done. As Josie continued she lost steam and began fading.
"The coach started moving and he could barely breathe or speak and I gathered him in my arms. He wanted to know where the people were and I told him they were all in front on horses and one man driving. So he quietly opened the door, told me to cross my arms like this," she demonstrated, "and to trust him. I did and he wrapped his whole body around mine and he made a point of tucking my head close to his chin and had his one hand over my outside ear. Then he gently leaned out the door off the stage as it went up the hill and we rolled and rolled and rolled, downhill I think. I remember we landed on his back and then rolled. Anyway, I lost consciousness I think more from being dizzy because I didn't feel the ground… just his arms and legs wrapped around me holding me close. To my last breath, Slim, Daisy, even as close as I was to my husband and we had a beautiful marriage, I've never felt such strength and power at the same time as such tender gentleness being encased within his hold, and all the fear that had been gripping me the whole time, just disappeared."
She looked down into her lap and was sagging,
"I could live in that hold and never want to leave, it was so comfortable and seemed so natural being that tight to his body… and please don't judge me. It wasn't sexual, and I don't understand it myself. That's the last thing I remember until I woke up here." She looked back up at Jess, tears threatening again. "He's just GOT to live….nobody's ever done anything like that for me before."
She put her hands on the side rail of the bed and leaned her forehead onto it, closing her eyes.
Daisy and Slim could tell she was passing out and Slim touched Daisy's shoulder to move her away and he kneeled down and gathered Josie in his arms expecting an argument. But by the time he'd gathered her and was standing back up, her head folded onto his shoulder and she was out.
"Poor girl." Daisy said softly and preceded them back to her bedroom and held the covers back. Slim gently deposited her in the sheets like she was a china doll, careful to lay her flat and tucking in her arms. She folded nicely and Daisy covered and tucked her in. Slim slowly stood back up shaking his head and was stunned. For all the terror she'd been through during the day and crumpled as her dress was, laying there she looked like a beautiful baby but in a gorgeous adult woman's body.
"She doesn't weigh anything Daisy. Light as a feather. Usually there's some amount of density, but she feels more like a bird."
"She's a beautiful woman, Slim. Looks a lot like Jess, same coloring and build, just daintier. The blue of his eyes is an unusual blue color and hers matches it perfectly. I bet her hair goes to her waist if she took it down and it's natural wave. You think she's falling in love?" Daisy wasn't so sleepy that the cupid in her would miss an opportunity.
"Well, you know, Jess. Women always after him and widow or not, she's still a woman. He'd be lucky. She seems to be an outstanding person. Except for the trauma and exhaustion, I see a lot of spunk and spitfire like Jess has and the same brand of loyalty. It'd be an interesting match." Slim mused.
"Their children would be absolutely gorgeous." Daisy's hands were held prayerfully at her face and was daydreaming in her fatigue.
"They'd be a handful!" Slim gently corrected her. "C'mon. Grab your nightie and go use my bed. I'll take the watch."
"Very well, Slim. At least now we know what happened." She grabbed her nightgown and robe and Slim lowered the lamp wick and they left quietly but Slim had to gently edge Daisy out the door as she lingered for one last longing look of daydream potential at the sleeping beauty.
"How do you suppose we could get her to stay?" She asked Slim over her shoulder.
"Don't even start, Daisy."
"But…you've seen him with Mike…and kids. He's going to make an excellent father. Has to have a wife for that… and…and she's such a reflection…. like a perfect bookend, Slim."
"I know, Daisy,…" Slim took a quick peek back, too. "She's …. something. Be interesting to see her at full bore….and him on his feet with her." Slim shook his head then shivered. "Time for bed, your exhaustion is showing."
The next morning Josie woke at dawn feeling odd in a way she was familiar and she pulled herself with some effort out of the bed and closed the bedroom door quietly after peeking and seeing no change in the dining room. She was ashen and pale and by the time she got to her feet she was visibly shaking all over her body and reached for her luggage sitting on the nearby chair and fumbled through it finding a smaller pouch that was opaque. She pulled the drawstring open digging out two bottles of prescription medicine and barely got one pill out of each, and used the glass of water sitting on the night stand to swallow them, then hurried to sit back down on the bed. Several minutes passed as she gripped the side of the bed and held her eyes closed and the shaking gradually stopped and she was able to put the script's lids back on and close the little pouch. With outright disgust she threw the pouch into her satchel quite angry but resigned, and dug out another dress from the luggage and threw it on the bed. Then she fumbled to get her hair back on top her head but it wasn't working so she grabbed the hairpins and combs out letting the hair fall loose and finger combed her hair. It was thick, dark brown almost black hair, wavy and shiny and fell to her waist like a halo of mass ocean waves. She did what she could and finally just shook her head slightly and they all lined up and her bangs fell onto her forehead barely brushing her eyebrows. The loose hair closer to her face seemed to highlight the thick, long eyelashes and in the morning sun beginning to peek through the window, her blue eyes were radiant against her porcelain skin that was now pinking up nicely. She opened the door and went directly to the head of Jess' bed to check him out. Slim was sleeping with his head on the table and heard her footsteps and woke up. Still seated, he saw a gorgeous beauty standing with her back to him, dark wavy hair sweeping her tiny waist and it popped his sleepy eyes wide open. He stood and met her at Jess' head and they both checked him out finding no change.
"He had a quiet night, Josie. Did you get any sleep?" Slim asked turning to look at her from the front and became even more stunned at her beauty and his forehead went up.
"Yes, thank you, Mr. Slim. It's a very nice bed somebody is letting me borrow. You folks are so kind."
"Please, just call me Slim. We're not formal here."
She placed a hand on his forearm lightly as though they'd been long time friends but she was still studying Jess.
"Thank you Slim. I can tell you're a good friend. He's lucky to have you. Is there some place I can, you know, freshen up?"
Slim could feel her hands were warm, but they were very soft and smooth almost creamy, never having known a day of work. Their soft creaminess matched the complexion of the side of her face which was a stark contrast to the now well colored bruise on her cheek and a flush of anger rose up through the tall man from the bottom of his boots completely aghast how any man could dare touch such a delicate surface with force to cause such damage. His mind went into auto pilot answering her question and his voice sounded to him like it came from a long distance away.
"Well, we're real country out here. There's a privy out back, a very nice shower with all the cold water that you can handle guaranteed to take the cobwebs away. And we use the sink there in the kitchen. I'll start some hot water for when you get back. We can set up a bath with warm water too, if you prefer, have a portable tub we can set up in the bedroom there. Daisy will be up at dawn and will have breakfast ready in no time at all. Do you drink coffee?"
"Coffee would be lovely, I can bathe later, just…."
She was standing at the end of Slim's boots and turned to face him but he was so close she had to look up his body to gain his face. Being about Daisy's height it bent her head all the way back, she looked straight up into Slim's face with a joke -twinkle in her eyes that just sparked their blue color and smiled sweetly.
"…um need to get my eyeballs open and uncrossed, if you gather my meaning."
Her verbiage was more rustic than her natural beauty and gave away her down to earth charm.
"When does the next stage going west come through?"
Alas, Slim's hearing capacity quit working at her smile and didn't hear her question because he was captured and frozen by the openness of her gaze where he could see all the way into her soul and it paralyzed his mind. Only his mind. Inner rumblings way deep inside Slim sparked several moments of intense jealousy at what Jess had to have experienced wrapped around such a beautiful creature because it took every ounce of control he had to keep from leaning down and gently capturing her into his own full body hug. He was not sure he could stop at Jess' restraint and he leaned ever so slightly forward yearning to add a generous layer of frosting with a sweet, long… um…very long, very lingering morning kiss….or um..several morning kisses. Many, many, long…. he could feel a stampede of them gathering at the ridges of his cheeks and the inner lining of his mouth was becoming very wet. He wasn't sure if it was dessert tugging at him or if it would be possible for a whole meal, too, and it wouldn't be food. He had to back out of the gaze inside her but was unable to stop staring at her lips. She had a wisp of hair that had fallen down onto her forehead and had caught the edge of her long eyelashes that looked just like Jess,' and Slim gently raised his hand and lightly brushed it back off her face with his fingertips. She gazed back into his eyes unaffected by the hair lock just slightly tipping her head on that side and blinking slowly in an agreeable and grateful assist to his care.
"Slim?" Josie whispered and nudged him where her hand was holding his forearm and smiled lightly seeing him paralyzed.
"Huh…" It was barely above a whispered mumble. Slim was still frozen and in no hurry to move past the moment being suspended in time and the view being etched deeply inside him.
"The next stage west?"
"Early ..." His words came slowly, his tone was an automatic answer, then he stirred, "…afternoon. You have to leave so soon?" and he stirred long enough to frown.
"Is it daily or weekly?"
"Daily." Slim didn't want to tell her it was even available…but his honesty couldn't lie.
She saw his capture had lifted and she backed a step away to give him some dignity. She had seen the capture before in a lot of men who had become mesmerized looking at her and, while it was complimentary, most of them never rose to her level of acceptance as she read them at the same time. Slim was different than those others, though. He was of high quality and she could tell he would be a fascinating man to get to know, but something about Jess and the unanswered question of why Jess affected her held her back and she didn't want to tease Slim.
"I had a scheduled meeting in Salt Lake City I really need to make, it's more a family medical emergency type, but I'm not leaving until I'm sure Jess is coming through this." She patted his forearm so softly Slim thought he was being kissed by butterfly wings on his arm. "I'll be right back."
She smiled as she turned to leave and gestured at the kitchen door if that was the direction to the facilities and Slim nodded yes in slow motion and she left. He watched her go through the door and rubbed his arm where she had patted. For a few moments suspended in eternity Slim was not at the Sherman relay station ranch, nor was his feet touching the wooden floor. He was floating somewhere in obliviousness that he'd never experienced before anywhere with anyone and he continued to stare at the door she disappeared through realizing his heart was racing and for some unknown reason, his face was very hot.
Daisy came out the bedroom door just missing Josie's departure. She stopped at Jess' bed and checked his forehead for temperature, his pulse and touched injured areas through the blanket feeling for heat, but he was cool and his pulse was slow but steady, his breathing had finally evened out.
She looked at Slim lost in his reverie, "Quiet night?"
Slim nodded still staring at the door, "Just missed Josie, headed for the …. You're right, Daisy."
"Of course I am. About what?" she half grinned.
"Her hair is down to her waist and she's absolutely stunning in the morning light….you know, even before all the fussing you ladies go through." He was still staring at the door.
"Sounds like Jess might have some competition." She observed tugging with her hair as she went into her bedroom for her day's attire, grinning out of sight. Daisy was a little crumpled and so were her night clothes and certainly not satisfied she was appropriate for company.
Slim blushed and looked at Daisy then back at the door she went out mumbling mostly to himself.
"Could happen. Not in the habit of seeing women in the morning sun….but….that could sure change a man's mind ….pretty doggone fast."
Slim rubbed his jaw finding it with a good start of scruff which brought him back to reality.
"Jess'd better watch his step."
Then he mumbled an echo taking even another look at the exited door, his legs paralyzed.
"Could happen pretty daggum fast. No wonder he …"
Slim's mind locked down why Jess would have defended her so violently. She had the same spitfire Jess had, but he'd seen a vulnerability and naïve innocence that was like the one that had been scarred up in Jess. Hers would have been a direct magnet to Jess' inner soul completely pulling the normally short fuse on his quick temper into no fuse at all in defending that innocence…in any woman, especially Josie. Heck, it was hauling at his own soul so hard he was having difficulty thinking and controlling that deep rumble inside him and was just grateful she had not been wearing any perfume. Trying to regain reality Slim continued,
"I'll pour the stove and light the hot water for her. Did you get any sleep Daisy?"
He walked to the stove and looked around it like he'd never seen one before, pulling the oven door down was not the answer, then he lifted the burner cover and decided that was where to start.
"Yes, Slim, some. Your bed is a little saggier than mine." She called from her bedroom as she closed the door to change clothes.
"Yes Ma'am." His mind was having trouble and he fumbled around the stove lighting a match then realizing there was no wood in the hole. He looked around the stove for wood and the lit match burned down to his finger and he had to quickly extinguish it and shook his hand. Then he reached for the kindling with his other hand, stuffed it into the hole and re-lit a second match. He barely got the coffee pot filled with water and sitting cockeyed on top the burner without adding coffee grounds when Josie came back inside heading for the sink behind him. A draft of sweet morning air followed her in the door carrying the fragrance of the valley's dew-laden morning flowers mixed with the last and most intense wafts of the night blooming jasmine. Her silk dress' full skirt was still poofy enough it brushed the back of his legs as she stepped to the side to close the door and her elbow just barely brushed his bum. Slim turned and scurried out the door running to the outhouse setting a new Olympic record for sprints.
The morning was uneventful. The doctor and Mort made it out by mid-morning and the Dr. determined Jess' knee cap was broken and he aligned it and put a splint immobilizing it until Jess was stronger and if any further repair might be needed. Mort had a hard time concentrating on Josie's story preoccupied looking at her beauty but got the jest of the rundown of Josie's story and took off to meet the other town's posse members. In his departure through the door even Mort took a second look back staring at Josie sitting back on the floor at the head of Jess' bed. Slim caught him gawking at the pair and tilted his head at Mort who blushed and left abruptly holding his chin out just a little.
"She's pretty, huh?" Slim teased.
"She's stunning! Can you imagine the two of them at full speed?" Mort winked and mounted his horse quickly wheeling it and headed off with the 3 other posse members who'd been waiting.
Jess started moaning and experiencing pain spasms by the time the Dr. had gotten through poking and prodding his way through the safari of his body, but hadn't quite woken up yet. Josie was still extremely pale after breakfast and through the Dr's visit and she decided to leave on that noon's stage for her appointment. She was assured by the Dr. that Jess was recovering and imminently going to awaken, but she seemed a little preoccupied with something in her body and needing to finish her appointment. She was quiet and sad all morning, fighting tears as she left on the stage, this one full of people and promised to wire money covering all of Jess' medical expenses as soon as she returned home in Denver. It was obvious to both Slim and Daisy that she didn't want to leave but something was forcing her that she couldn't ignore.
CHAPTER 3: Wake Up Alone
Slim came back inside after saying goodbyes and turning the midday stage team out to the corral with fresh water, grain and hay and sat down heavily in the dining room chair closest to Jess' bed. He leaned forward checking Jess' face and then put his face in his hands leaning on his knees. It had been an exhausting string of days and the pressure still wasn't letting up. Daisy put a fresh cup of coffee down on the table next to his side and put her hand on his shoulder peering down to see if she could get a glimpse of his face.
"Would you like some lunch or a piece of pie to get you through to supper, Slim?"
Slim rubbed his eyes, sat back and then stretched his long frame, pushing his legs straight in front of him and raising his arms over his head, then refolded himself neatly in the chair and reached for the coffee.
"Coffee'll do fine right now, Daisy, thanks." He gestured a thumb at Jess, "He stirred anymore?"
"Yes, he's coming to. Should be soon. He's going to be very weak, though and shouldn't move or thrash around. It's really too bad Josie couldn't stay longer, I'm sure Jess would have wanted to get to know her." She looked out the front window but sat down in another dining table chair and readjusted her top hair off her forehead.
"I'd have loved to get to know her, Daisy. She's quite a gal….kinda reminds me some of Jess… what he was like when he first arrived here."
"Oh, how so?"
"Oh…" Slim rubbed the side of his face reminded of the still present scruff growth wondering if he needed to scrape it off, unable to remember the day he last shaved. "…hard to describe, Daisy. Jess has changed quite a bit in the 4 years he's been here."
"Better or worse?" She was a little irritated at the generalities and tried to pin him down.
"Oh, better. Much better. I mean he wasn't bad when he got here, nothing like that. Just…" Slim rubbed his forehead trying to nail down his thoughts and took a sip of coffee. "Deeper, I guess would be the best word, more settled inside. He'd been on the drift for 5 years past the end of the war and had been in service first for the south, then taken prisoner of war by the Union which was a horrible experience. But he'd proven himself during that time and pretty much became indispensable to the Union and they put him to work as a dispatch and scout out west here. So before being on the drift, he was not really tied down. Nothing to mention his childhood, what little I know, was um…. outta hell. It took a while for him to land even after Andy grabbed onto him, but slow and steady, he's well… stabilized and deepened. Seems more grounded, too, for putting down some …. I dunno….like fence posts or roots. She was more carefree and untethered like Jess was back in the day. Has his independent deecision streak."
Jess was propped on his left side and with pillows keeping him off his back injuries. He had a strong pain spasm that travelled up his leg and through his back ended up out his right shoulder and his eyes opened briefly with a frown and was accompanied by a deep, hard groan that escaped as he exhaled. Slim looked quickly but could see the eyes were still not focused and in the process, he leaned forward and reaching down to pull his pant leg down he inadvertently brushed his hand across Jess's left hand that was sticking out from under the blanket. Daisy turned in her chair to watch but didn't get up. Slim was surprised because his touch to Jess' hand caused Jess' hand to cup as though acknowledging the touch and Slim retouched it again and grabbed it lightly as though reaching to pull someone up or over the edge of a cliff and Jess' hand took ahold.
"I'm right here, Jess. I found you." Slim softly spoke and Daisy tilted her head amazed at the Slim's gentleness and how little contact it took between them to connect.
With his eyes still closed, it was not quite a whisper, more of movement by his lips, "Sl…"
"Yes, Jess. I'm here."
"Hel…p…..la….dy." Maybe, barely a whisper this time and staggered around his effort for breathing.
Daisy looked quizzically at Slim trying to understand what he said but shook her head unable to translate. Slim thought for a moment working the syllables like a puzzle and quickly got it.
"Help the lady?"
"Ya…lady….right…help he..re,.. Sl….." Jess loosened his hand and waved it near his body trying to touch where he last knew Josie to have been when he lost consciousness. Slim assumed Jess was still either feeling the memory pressure of her body under him as he had found them, or the injuries were bothering him ….probably both. Jess' eyes flickered open and he blinked several times as though looking directly into strong light and tried to focus. His hand was not finding any body next to or under him and his effort to focus became more intense and urgent. He began pawing the air with his left hand finding only the pillows which caused him to focus harder and in focusing, not finding a warm body, he tried to lift his head and then his body trying to get up, not realizing he was in a bed. The effort to raise up caused an even stronger wave of pain and he arched and groaned hard… while trying to speak, nearing a panic, "Have to…" sucking in air, "…help the….la.." The pain was intense and Jess curled into the pillows, suffocating a screamed moan into a murmured, "Sl….!" and he collapsed back into the bed before Slim could hold him down.
"Easy, Jess. I found her, too. She's ok. Lay still, you're hurt."
"How bad …she …?" Jess' attitude continued to escalate the more they talked.
"Wasn't. Just some small cuts and bruises and a torn dress."
"Where is s.. ? I need….." Jess tried again to raise up and got pulled back down again by pain and he grabbed his ribcage with his left arm. His right shoulder and arm were pinned against his chest in bandages so he couldn't reach his legs and they were screaming, too. All he could do was curl them up closer to his core.
"She had to leave on a family emergency."
Of course, the concept of a "family emergency" had no bearing in Jess' life, so Slim's comment went right over his head. "Can't leave! Didn't get .. know her…. her name."
"She stayed as long as she could until she knew you'd make it."
"She can't go! Not done…yet!" Jess gasped for air and kept going, "I know her…..from…. I don't…somewhere…. know why…bbut….I know I know her!" His left hand grabbed his chest and his thoughts were skipping ahead of his speaking. "Can feel it! It came out as a whimpered exclamation and Jess was fidgeting again every ounce of his being wanting to jump out of bed and do, yet every millimeter of his body screaming in pain and weakness.
"You'll meet other pretty women." Slim tried to calm Jess down.
"Not that kind ….feeling….with her. Never felt this… was so….. strong."
"I can tell you about her, Jess. When you get stronger. You need to rest."
Jess lifted his head seeking Slim's face. "I have to ….now! I gotta find out...Slim….you gotta go get her back!"
Pain filled eyes took aim on Slim's poor, exhausted face. Jess' eye contact look held the same intensity of a lock when he was facing the last seconds before drawing a gun, but instead of fight or anger in his eyes, it was pleading pain. Slim had no armor against one of those gazes from Jess under any emotion and had always taken great care to avoid getting on the other side of any loaded weapon Jess was holding. But nothing could hold a candle stronger than a gunfight stare except one of pleading pain backed by the weakened helplessness of a body that couldn't even breathe without pain yet. Slim never dreamed he'd see the day Jess would plead for anything and he couldn't take it causing him to drop his eye contact and look away grimacing in agony. It only took a portion of a second for Jess to see Slim's face seize up in pain and look away, then he laid back and covered his face and eyes with his hand and looked away, too, understanding he'd put more pressure on Slim than Slim could handle. Moments ticked by in silence between them. It was not a hard, hurtful silence but one of sympathy reading in each other not the unwillingness, but just the sheer inability to complete the request being so desperately sought.
"I'm…..ssorry, Slim." Jess finally spoke softly dropping back into his deep tone that he coos to horses. "Thank you for finding us….wasn't sure anyone could, bbut you." Jess grimaced against a pain spasm in his back and sucked air between his teeth. "Was… out of options. Woulda died if you hadn't been so sharp."
Slim dropped his gaze to the floor and spoke softly, too. "Desperate measures requires desperate means. Only you would take a header downhill off a stage climbing a hill with a woman in your arms….hurt to boot. I dunno, maybe you're rubbing off on me some….begin to think like you."
"Could do worse."
"Couldn't do much better, Jess. You're pretty daggum clever, yourself."
"I didn't hurt her then?"
"Not at all. She said you had your body wrapped around her and all the fear disappeared." Slim pondered for a few moments, then added, "She actually said quite a few things …. Like never being held like that before …..an' how comforting it was….even while diving out of a stage."
Daisy had scooched her chair a little closer and was leaning forward just aching to get into the discussion, but she knew it wiser to let the two men work it out and had kept quiet… until now.
"I got to spend some time with her, Jess. She only had some minor cuts and bruises she said came from the other men in the stage before it got here and I was able to mend her dress very easily. Certainly was some elegant cloth, I think she said it was silk."
"Thanks, Daisy." It was a whisper. Jess still had his fingers over his eyes and then wiped them with the palm of his left hand appearing to be smothering tears and he was fading fast. A few more moments of silence ticked by and Jess sniffed softly.
Slim heard it and frowned, then thought he'd offer something of information to help. "Her name was Josephine Bartlette. Goes by Josie. She's a widow lives in Denver. Her husband was Capt. Ben Bartlette, Union Army… ran an underground for freeing slaves until a slave betrayed him and a plantation owner ambushed his squad."
Slim started off but Daisy tapped him on the arm and motioned to Jess. Just past the Bartlette name, Jess' hand had fallen slowly off his face and to the bed pillows as he sank back into a sleep.
Daisy and Slim looked at each other and back at Jess. "I certainly didn't expect that." Slim mumbled.
"Expect what?" Daisy looked at Slim.
"Well, let's just say Jess has had his fair share of opportunities helping damsels in distress, and he certainly has his pick of eligible females that chase him down, but this one seems to have registered deeper in him than the others." Slim looked down at the floor in deep sadness then back at Jess. "Josie said she felt deeper about him, too. Wonder if they're soul mates and he finally got bit?"
A shadow of worry crossed Slim's face both at the consternation of Jess and Josie's paths touching but not quite merging and a deep despondency should this have been the real call on Jess for marriage creating his own family niche and they'd failed to connect. That shadow was mixed with the unknown in potential loss of their closeness should one of them marry and either one's wife require more attention somehow diminishing the closeness of their friendship.
"How can you tell?"
"It was in his eyes when he wanted me to go get her back. Never seen that before."
Chapter 4: The Will of an Inheritance
"Thank you, Daisy." Standing slouched at his bed and wobbly, Jess accepted his stack of folded, freshly laundered clothes from Daisy's hands and turned to address his small luggage satchel. His right arm was still tied close and in a sling and he was using a cane to assist his mending legs. The left knee was locked unbendable and his right leg did most of the work but the thigh was still bandaged from the whip welts that aggravated the deep, aging bruise from the wagon accident. His ribcage was also bandaged supporting the mending ribs plus covering the healing gash in his back. So he was getting around, but it was slow and painful from one direction or the other. An uncaring attitude over his appearance and all the bandaging and the sling had prevented any shaving efforts and Jess had almost a full short beard that matched the uncombed hair that basically laid where it grew.
"You're welcome, Jess." Daisy's voice was cheerful but she wouldn't give him any eye contact. She wiped her hands together, turned and left the bedroom almost abruptly and Jess watched her departure with a slight frown. She had tried several times to reason with him, but he wasn't listening.
Daisy went back to the kitchen to begin supper when Slim came in from tending the last stage carrying some mail. "I can't change his mind, Slim and he's not mended enough to travel. He's in there packing his luggage."
"I know, Daisy, but he's a grown man. I can't make him do anything." Slim looked at her then off to the bedroom, "Then he's Jess…once he's nabbed a decision…." Slim's voice trailed off. "Something deep is really bothering him, Daisy. He's got to work this out…for his own sanity. It's just the way he is."
"But can't you talk to him, reason some sense? Maybe he could delay this search until he's stronger."
"I have tried just as you have. You've seen him. He's not sleeping well, is off his feed, and he's never off his feed. Last night he even turned down apple pie. Says he feels something is wrong." Slim waved a piece of mail. "Maybe this will help."
"What is it?"
"I don't know. Some communication from an Esquire in Denver. Maybe this esquire knows Josie." Slim marched off to the bedroom with his spurs clanging.
Jess was sitting on his bed beside his satchel, the cane was hanging on the footboard and he was slumped as much as the rib bandages allowed, his hands were quiet in his lap and he was looking at the floor several feet in front of him. He looked like he was in a food stupor after eating too much turkey at Thanksgiving. Slim sat down on his bed facing Jess knee to knee and waited for Jess to look up. It didn't happen so Slim waved the mail in the flight zone of Jess' gaze and Jess blinked and looked at him.
"Stage brought you some mail." Slim held it out to Jess but Jess didn't move to take it, so Slim jammed it into Jess' hands. "From an esquire in Denver."
"What's a esquire? Sounds like a weird bird." Jess' voice was non-committal.
"That's the title lawyers use."
"What I thought…...weird bird." Jess laid it to the side on the bed.
"From Denver, he might just know Josie. Aren't you going to open it?"
Jess shrugged his left shoulder….still glum.
"Still think something's wrong?"
"I KNOW something's wrong. Can feel it….in here." Tapping his heart with his left hand. "Been there since…" Jess mumbled, "….since she left."
"You come any closer to defining what you feel?" Slim asked in a soft manner he'd had success getting response from Jess. He'd found early on in their friendship that in spite of all the stallion fire in Jess, like a green broke young horse, he had a soft mouth and responded best to a gentle hand and rarely a spur, barely needing 3 ounces on the reins to move him forward.
"It's all mixed up. I felt something when I first saw her and that hour or so we were together. Can't define that but I know I've never felt that before with anyone. Daggum, Slim, those moments we had…was so familiar like I'd known her all my life….ya know inside …. just so close. We didn't even talk much more than a few words, but I could read her thoughts…sorta, or maybe better, I could feel her thoughts.. like I know my own head… and that don't make sense."
Jess then looked at and began studying Slim's chest as though looking through his skin and directly into his heart.
"Since she left, it's been a sense of urgency and I felt those before, but about what I can't pull in. Last week or so…felt so… empty, like there's a literal hole in my heart or just a pure 'give up and die' sadness." Jess looked into Slim's face earnestly, "I know her from somewhere, Slim but…..I…just can't pull her from my memory, her name, a place or her face. Never forget people I've met. Sometimes I lose their name, but I can always put a place with a face."
"Except now."
"Now." Jess echoed, his eyebrows arched in confusion. "I remember everything else that happened." He spoke earnestly.
"And not knowing is driving you up a tree."
"Just as sure as a bear."
"Maybe you're trying too hard. You went through just as huge a trauma as she did, Jess. You need to give yourself time to mend. C'mon, let's see what the weird bird wants." Slim reached into his pocket, pulled his knife unfolding it and handed it to Jess.
Jess looked over at the large envelope and finally picked it up. It was addressed to Jess Harper i/c Sherman Relay Station Ranch, Laramie, WY. He turned it over several times, took Slim's knife, broke the seal and dumped out the contents. Inside was a formal letter sealed in an envelope with printed addresses and it was also sealed, but with a wax seal and initial stamp.
"Johnathan A. King, Esq." Jess read aloud using "Es q" and not "esquire." "Wonder what the "A" stands for?" he mused. Jess opened the inside letter and read the short note and handed it to Slim. Slim watched Jess' face drain of what little color it had like someone letting the water out of the trough and quickly reached to take his open knife back from Jess hand at the same time.
Slim folded and pocketed the knife with one hand and with the other took the letter and read out loud,
"Dear Mr. Harper, I represent Josephine Lee H. Bartlette of Denver, Colorado, whom I believe you met recently on her trip through Wyoming. As a result of that meeting, she requested I perform some work on her behalf which is now complete and ready for you. I request you to contact my office as quickly as possible to set up a time when we can meet. I would need approximately one to two hours of your time as there is much to go over. I look forward to being able to clarify some issues and be available to answer any questions you may have. Sincerely, John King, Esq."
Slim handed the letter back but Jess didn't take it so Slim folded it and put it in the envelope that he took from Jess' hand.
"I'll say one thing for him. He's not very wordy."
"She's gone." Jess murmured in deep sadness looking out the bedroom door his face full of pain that was not physical. Slim could see the return of the same shadow of a sad alone-ness he'd seen in Jess' face in the early days when Jess didn't know he was watching and Slim frowned hard. A few moments later Jess slowly and deliberately took the cane and pulled himself to a stand and started for the door.
"Where're you going?" Slim started after him.
"Town. Wire." Jess' voice was dull and lifeless, his eyes glazed over.
"Hold on a minute, Jess. You're not in that great a shape yet. I'll go to town, send the wire and see if I can round up Charlie to take the stage schedule for a few days."
Jess halted standing in the front door, half in and half out staring off into the valley and mumbled,
"Not your problem, Slim."
Jess looked confused as to which direction he needed to turn to find the horse corral and unaware his right arm was in a sling as a clue it was to his right.
"Ya, well, hell will freeze over before I stay here and let you handle this alone. I'm going and you're not stopping me."
A few steps behind, Slim started putting on his holster and hat at the door.
Jess oozed onto the front porch reaching for and hanging onto the front rail with his left hand half full of cane handle and his head tilted to the side as seeing the barn look like it was a hundred miles away. Without warning his legs lost power as a force of strength from deep inside his body just evaporated. As the yard began yawing and slowly spinning, the cane slowly dropped from his hand and he grabbed his chest with his left hand losing all support for standing. Slim saw Jess lose power and came up behind him and caught him around the waist just as Jess' head fell back onto Slim's shoulder and his body went fully limp.
"Ok, back to bed, cowboy. You're not going anywhere even if I have to tie you down." Slim slipped Jess' left arm over his shoulder and more than half carried Jess back into the bedroom, laid him on his bed and moved the luggage off to the floor. Gently he wiggled Jess' boots off the injured limbs and covered him up with the quilt as Jess sagged off into a deep sleep with a long, low groan.
Daisy caught a glimpse of the activity and followed Slim into the bedroom immediately swarming around Jess. "Oh, my! What happened?" She checked his pulse and face temperature.
"The letter from the attorney wants to meet him as soon as possible. He represents Josie. Jess thinks she's passed away." Slim reported. "He was going to town to send a wire and passed out. Can you tell anything? This isn't like Jess…."
"Well, he's cool and his pulse is slow but steady." She checked his deeper injury bandage sites. "I don't see any bleeding and his breathing is steady. He's exhausted for one thing. Internal bruising is still a loss of blood, you just don't see it and he's got a lot of soft tissue damage. Plus he's not eating or for that matter putting enough fluid away. Maybe you should send the wire tomorrow and let's see what kind of night we have."
"He did feel like he's dropped about 15 pounds. I think you're right, Daisy. Maybe it was the shock of the letter, having Josie reach back in contact and all."
Jess slept through the night and even though he seemed to have several dreams they didn't wake him. By morning he was still turned internal and almost deadly quiet, but seemed more focused and even ate a small breakfast much to the relief of both Slim and Daisy. With Slim's promise to contact the attorney for an appointment, Jess went back to bed. Slim could see the alone-ness was much stronger though, and knew that inside himself Jess had simply weakened so much that he'd detached like a horse that had unknowingly slipped its halter and was still standing ground tied and was not really completely present on the Sherman Ranch. Both Slim and Daisy kept a sharp eye on Jess, but Slim was especially concerned seeing the depth of the alone-factor was even more prevalent and stronger than when they had first met. He knew that whether or not Jess would accept his company or help, Jess had become extremely vulnerable and worse yet, seemed indifferent to his wide open defenselessness. When Jess wasn't looking, aside from his personal weapon he kept on him at all times, Slim gathered the rifles and all the guns and ammunition and hid them in the supply room, including Jess' special .45 in the fireplace's mantle….just to be safe. He emptied his own .45 he wore and put the bullets in his pants pocket. He also told Daisy to move all the sharp knives to a new location in the kitchen and he tucked away all the sharp instruments in the barn as well and put all the horses into the furthest corral. Slim wasn't taking any chances. He was pretty sure Jess wouldn't do harm to himself or another, but he also wasn't sure how this detached state of being would affect Jess' short fuse either. He knew in Jess' previous existence pre-Sherman era, that Jess had messed himself up and nearly thrown his life away with that state of detachment and this time, Slim was going to be covering Jess' back. Somebody had to be family for Jess because Jess didn't know how a healthy family takes care of its own and Slim had become so attached to this man in the 4 years they'd known each other, to Slim, Jess was family.
In order to obtain answers and try to help Jess regain his footing and his sense of belonging, Slim sent the wire to the attorney and stopped in Mort's office for an update on the case. The posse of three towns in Montana had found the gang working the stages there and they'd been killed in a shootout 2 days earlier. Mort had been swamped in paperwork and hadn't gotten to tell them. The attorney wired back before Slim could get out of town setting the meeting in Denver 2 days later and Slim rented a buggy to make the trip as easy physically for Jess as possible. The buggy idea was naturally challenged by Jess, but he gave in when Daisy reminded him how many bandages he was still wearing and the cane he was needing to support both legs. They got Charlie, their neighbor to come do the stage schedules. Denver was a strong half day drive and Slim wanted Jess fresh and somewhat feisty, or at least alive and kicking, so to allow a bumper time slot in case the trip was too draining, they left the day before and spent the night in a nice hotel Slim used for his Stage Company business trips. Jess seemed to re-emerge from his darkness the morning they left for Denver ready to get to the answers. Slim had purchased a shoulder holster for Jess because of his injury sites and had returned the ranch's supply of weapons to their normal posts and replaced Jess' guns to their normal locations. Slim carried a smaller .38 caliber that tucked neatly on the back of his belt at the waist and they were in their Saturday night suits. The morning they left Jess had managed to get his right arm moving enough to get the beard shaved off, his hair combed back into its natural manicured position but the effort had exhausted him and he seemed content to ride in the buggy for several hours. Still overall, they were all polished up and ready.
They got to the attorney's office 15 minutes early and were seated by a pleasant, middle aged, all business type secretary named Jane to wait with a cup of fresh coffee that smelled wonderful but neither one drank. It was a nice medium sized office, even plush for the standards of the day, without being overly glamourous. Johnathan A. King was a distinguished looking man in his fifties, head full of silver hair and in a nicely tailored suit that was appropriately tailored, but not overly expensive. His style matched his office. The attorney bustled out of his office right on the dot and scurried over to greet them with a smile and extending his hand warmly. He passed Slim's initial impression but Jess was playing things close to his vest and Slim couldn't read Jess' impression. John King immediately approached Jess first.
"Gentlemen, thank you so much for making this trip and the meeting. Oh, you do favor him, you must be Jess Harper." They switched to a left hand shake due to Jess's sling and Jess introduced Slim.
"This is Slim Sherman. He owns the relay station that Mrs. Bartlette was deetained at."
They shook hands and John King ushered them into his office and gestured at some chairs.
"Yes, she was quite detailed in her descriptions of what happened. Please be comfortable. If you need anything at all, please let me know. She said you resembled her late husband and you do. I know you have a lot of questions and I will try to answer them all. Perhaps it will help, however, if I share with you what I can from this side of the picture first."
He opened the file folder in front of him on his desk. Jess and Slim nodded settling into their chairs. The chairs were soft executive chairs with high arm rests but Jess laid his right arm in its sling across his chest resting the weight off his shoulder and his legs were not well enough to cross. Slim barely had room between the desk and his chair for his long legs, but he attentively sprawled in his chair with one ankle crossed over onto the other knee and could read Jess had his poker face on.
"Josephine and her late husband Ben Bartlette were clients of mine. I always called her Josie, sometimes Josilee and I was also her parent's attorney as was my father before me. So I've known Josie from the time she was born."
Jess shook his head slightly and looked down briefly as he immediately recognized past tense verbs and Slim saw it from the corner of his eye. So did the attorney, but he continued seeing that neither one interrupted him. His voice was compassionate yet business neutral and he spoke at a pace compatible with his listener's receptiveness as any experienced attorney would address a jury in an opening statement.
"Josie's parents came from what is known as old Denver money, meaning they were very well off and she grew up as an only child wanting for nothing and was the delight of her parents all the way to their deaths. She married Capt. Benjamin Bartlette at a young age, but unfortunately he was killed in action during the War when he was betrayed by a slave while running a slave escape network and was awarded posthumously with several bravery medals. Ben was deployed shortly after their marriage and Josie suffered a miscarriage and, long story short, during her treatment received what was later diagnosed as a bad blood transfusion that become more and more of a chronic health problem with a terminal diagnosis. She was on her way to a specialist in Salt Lake City when the stage was intercepted, but unfortunately the specialist there was of no benefit. The trip had been ill-advised but she was a head strong young lady and wanted to try whatever she could and once she had her mind set, there was no changing her. Unfortunately, the trip exhausted her and shortly after returning here and changing her will, she underwent some medical treatment here but suffered a flare up of her condition and her body simply gave out. I am very sorry to be the one to inform you of her passing about 3 weeks ago."
Slim heard a deep, bass voice sound of a single note that seemed to come from Jess' throat without any intent of forming a word, more of a grunt or groan or could have been a "mmph," but looking over at him there was no change to his face. Jess did bring his elbows onto the arm rest forming a steeple with his fingertips touching his lips and maintained a constant gaze on reading the attorney. Slim felt his own heart skip several beats and looked away past the attorney and shook his head slightly in sadness. She was a beautiful touch in his heart and it held a soft, gentle fragrance in his memory, but he had caged off his personal feelings in lieu of respect for what was happening inside Jess and the effort to keep Jess alive and getting him back on his feet and whatever they were feeling toward each other.
"Although the Utah doctor had no medical relief, Josie came back here a different person. She was happy like she had been as a child before she had become sick and said she'd felt that way as a result of having met you, Mr. Harper as something in the meeting with you changed her inside. She said she'd found a peace inside she'd never known her entire life and for the first time she felt whole including from back as a child. Upon her return, she immediately changed her will designating herself to be cremated and her estate to be sold in total and the entire proceeds be turned over to you as her heir. Her stipulation was that her and her mother's diaries would remain and be given to you so you could learn about her and her life in some way to make up for not having been able to stay longer until you recovered. She could feel her body failing and was why she couldn't stay in Laramie, had to try Salt Lake, and then the new treatment here. These requests have been completed." He gestured to a box sitting on another chair. "That box contains all the diaries. Are there any questions so far?"
Slim didn't have any and was watching Jess and he was still stone faced and unreadable but he shook his head "no" not even looking at the box.
John continued, "That's not all and this next part may be more difficult yet. But first I need to obtain some information from you, Mr. Harper, if I could ask some personal information?"
"I reckon." Came a quiet response from the deep baritone timbre nestled safely behind the steepled fingers.
"I need to confirm where and when you were born, parents, and date of birth if you don't mind."
"You need this for Josie's records?"
"Yes, please, as her heir." His attitude was honest and open as he pulled a piece of paper from the folder and grabbed a pencil ready to write.
Jess shifted slightly in his chair trying to change positions on tender body parts without drawing suspicion and grimaced at a back pain spasm trying to pull up in a cramp because he was sitting tense, but he was also anxious about answering questions.
"You can ask. Not sure I have the answers."
His right hand redropped to the sling hold and he leaned on his left elbow with his left fingers spread and cupping his chin and cheek, the last two fingers partially covering his mouth.
"Place of birth."
"I assume the house we lived in." Jess was straight faced being truthful as he understood the question and the attorney looked at him trying to see if that was a sarcastic answer. Slim covertly smiled covering his mouth with a finger and came from a long experience of receiving Jess-type answers of honesty that were not necessarily the match to the question. He was glad, even giddy to see it happen to someone else for a change.
"I'm sorry, city and state of birth."
"Panhandle of Texas."
John frowned but moved on.
Jess saw the frown and tried to clarify, "We lived in the country."
John seemed relieved at that explanation, "Makes sense. Parent's names and current address."
"John Harper and Sarah Hart. I assume my dad is in hell and I know my mother in heaven, but nobody's ever told me those addresses."
The attorney frowned and wrote, "Deceased" as he spoke it. "I assume they passed in Texas. Do you know where they were buried?" Without a current living address, the attorney was trying to confirm the birth parents were dead so he wasn't violating the agreements in documents he was about to reveal.
"Weren't."
The lawyer in John King was getting slightly peeved. Lawyers don't ask questions without first knowing the answers and these straight forward questions were retrieving very odd answers.
"Excuse me?" It carried an irksome tone.
Slim started to speak up for Jess realizing the attorney wasn't used to Jess' blatant honesty, but the lawyer raised his hand silencing him and looked directly at Jess who maintained a completely innocent face. But a hardness from deep sadness stiffened his voice and it dropped even lower.
"Mr. King, my family was massacred by a gang of ruthless white men and they burned the house we lived in to the ground. That included the bodies of my parents. There was nothing left to bury." Jess' face and tone was neutral, even a little tonally dead, reporting fact from a heavily scarred room buried deep inside him.
The attorney's face froze and he stared back at Jess with a soft frown for several moments and unchallenging and unembarrassed, Jess held the eye contact. It was a moment frozen in time as Jess had put down an unexpected card on the poker table. The attorney began to realize the reality of Jess' hard life and family history was quite different than the life Josie had lived and explained some of the information he'd read in the diaries that he was about to divulge. It also revealed a huge chunk of information about Jess' character and it impressed him. Slim's gaze held very moist eyes and was locked on Jess realizing the trauma Jess had experienced, how he perceived that part of his life and more so, how deeply it was buried inside him.
"I am… so sorry." John King's voice became very respectful and he was immediately embarrassed for his suspicious assumption.
"Is that all?" Jess was ready to stop.
"No, Sir, it actually opens the door to a whole lot of questions but…those are not mandatory ones. I AM, however, beginning to see why Josie had become captivated by meeting you."
"Why is this information important?" Now Jess was getting suspicious.
"Believe me, it will all become very clear, …..um extremely clear very shortly if you can be patient just a little longer. One last question, your birthdate?"
A little perturbed but trying to remain businesslike Jess answered, "Sometime the summer of the same year Texas agreed to become part of the States. Supposed to be the same year the first Morse code was sent by telegraph, too, but I don't remember the year and I was too young to give a rat's a…" Jess cleared his throat, "Notice the events."
"How can you remember the event and not the year?" It was pure lawyer practiced at cross examination and spoken in a neutral tone.
"My mother drilled me about the history so's I'd remember, but as a kid the number of the year meant nothing to me so I forgot it. I had other priorities growing up."
John mechanically paged his secretary who immediately arrived.
"Jane, could you look up the year for the Texas Treaty of Annexation to the US. for me, please? Or the year of the first telegraph in Morse code."
"Yes, sir."
"Why no birthdate other than summer? Didn't you have birthday parties and gifts?"
"People have parties for a birthday?" Jess seemed surprised and continued, "We never had money to celebrate anything, barely got clothes when we needed them. I just remember it was always hot in the middle of summer, my mother would ….you know… get all huggy and tell me she was happy I was in her life."
Slim was stunned in disbelief a kid would never know his birthday or have a party or gifts.
Jane knocked and poked her head in the door. "1844 for both, sir."
"Thanks, Jane." They had a respectable business friendliness that was comforting.
Jess and Slim looked at each other raising their eyebrows at her speed. Jess' patience was wearing thin and he hid his mouth behind his hand, leaned over to Slim and whispered in jest somewhat irritated by the attorney's questioning his answers and his question held sarcasm, "Suppose she knows the address to heaven?"
Slim shrugged his shoulders but grinned back, relieved at Jess controlling his temper.
John wrote the year down while noting the whispering.
"Neither of us know the address for hell. I've had some opponents who lost their case against my clients have tried to refer me to that location, but I haven't had time to research it."
He smiled at them offering to put in his own two cents at jabbing and Slim and Jess smiled lightly at each other that this guy was ok. John then got up and circled his chair, looked out the window behind his desk pondering something for half a minute and then reseated himself.
"Your um…inimitable answers to some common questions have surprised me, yet they are not unlike Josie and her knack for keeping me on my toes trying to stay up with her mind. It is that point alone MORE than the confirmation of the information that has convinced me that you have provided truthful information and releases me to continue. You should be aware that the information I'm about to share with you is not something Josie ever knew and neither did I until after her death. It came from a codicil her parent's left to be opened upon her death which referred me to legal documents, her mother's diaries and documentation my father prepared for her parents when he represented them. Those documents include Josie's adoption paperwork, but Josie never knew she was adopted which was part of a binding legal agreement conditional to her adoption. Because these parties are deceased, that confidentiality is no longer in place as specified in her parent's will and that stipulate stated that should the following information ever become available it should be made known to the people it affects. Since you are now Josie's only heir, it affects you. Indeed, since your parents are deceased, should be entitled to it. Are you with me, Mr. Harper?
"Yes, Sir." Jess was still leaning with his chin in his fingers, but he had to concentrate on the verboseness, nearly a stampede of words and information using unfamiliar large words in key places and he was zeroed in on the attorney's face like a deep poker game and the attorney was about to throw a hidden card onto the table.
"Your answers are sufficient to confirm to me that …you are indeed Josie's twin brother."
Slim could see a slight concussive movement as Jess' head moved backward ever so slightly like he'd been hit in the jaw, but it was so slight the attorney couldn't have seen it. Jess' jaw did lock down and his eyes focused on the attorney's eyes just dared him to lie and yet at the same time it confirmed to him all the reasons for what he'd been feeling and his face registered both the raised eyebrow and a frown. Slim was in complete shock having figured their attraction had been because Jess resembled her late husband, as reasoned by Josie during her visit, and Jess' pending infatuation with whom Slim had determined was a highly compatible, Jess-type female. A deep shadow of sadness also crossed Slim's face because being a sister meant Jess was out of the competition for Josie as a soul mate and what he'd felt that morning was no longer morally wrong, but that opportunity even for him was now evaporated by her death. With no response by either man the attorney continued.
"According to the documents and diary entries, John and Sarah Harper, maiden name Hart, had two older children when twins were born on July 24, 1844 in Amarillo, Tx. The twin factor was unexpected and it was a difficult birth that nearly killed Mrs. Harper. She was unconscious for a period of time during which your father took the second twin, a female, and sold her to what was later learned to be a child brokerage business working with an adoption agency and done under the provision that her identity and true parents were never divulged. Josie's parents had been unable to have children and with their background and place in society, easily arranged and agreed to the adoption and paid a rather hefty fee. The birth father reported that he didn't have the funds to care for 4 children, they hadn't really wanted 3, but because you were a boy, he decided to keep you. However, according to my client's diaries, she had decided that the father was giving up the female child because she was a girl child and he wanted boys and didn't care how many children he fathered; that girls were too high maintenance while boys could be farmed out to work earning money for the family. To the best efforts of investigators assigned the adoption, the birth mother was never told she delivered twins, only that she'd delivered a boy."
Slim was busy watching Jess who was frozen in the chair. "That's a pretty dramatic stor…"
"He's right, Slim." Jess interrupted quietly in his deep voice. "Is that all you know?"
"Well I'm sure there is a lot more in those diaries, but I was not given clearance to read them, just directed to certain pages from the parent's codicil."
"And Josie never knew she was a twin." Jess rechecked.
"Correct, or adopted. I didn't know she was a twin. My father was their attorney at the time of the adoption and he never said one word. All Josie ever mentioned to me was on her return having met you that she finally felt whole inside. She recounted the events of the stage ride and how you rescued her and the um…beating you took. She said the instant she saw you it was like looking…"
"….in a mirror." Jess finished, now fighting back tears and looking away from Slim toward the window on the side wall of the office as confirmation created understanding to all the things that had been confusing him for years.
"She said when you told her to cross her arms and then wrapped yourself around her and dove out of the stage, she felt like she was a part of your body where she belonged and all the fear just dissipated. She lost consciousness in tumbling down the hill, but felt she was joined with someone who she was meant to feel as she departed life, and that she could now …" Mr. King gulped fighting his own emotions, "…release her fight to live. She said being in that close of contact with you was beyond the closeness she'd ever felt with her husband or her parents and believed what she felt was her point of origination. She didn't understand why she woke up when Mr. Sherman found you, but she came to understand she was allowed to live long enough to afford her the time to change her will. She wasn't sure why she should change the will, but was at peace you would know that answer and understand it. None of this made any sense to me until I was sent by instruction into the older documents and diaries after she passed. All I knew was I'd never seen her face as peaceful as it was while she was telling me what she'd experienced."
Jess stood abruptly accompanied with the inevitable pain spasm from too sudden of movement and froze half standing to then finish standing in slow motion. Slim started forward to support him but Jess held his hand down gesturing to Slim he could handle it so Slim stayed seated watching Jess gimp to the other wall's window and look out. Slim could tell answers were pouring into Jess' soul and he needed the closet to sort the incoming information as fast as they were coming in. They both were fighting tears.
"Perhaps we need a break. Would either of you like some coffee or I have bourbon."
"I think a break is good, Mr. King. We don't need anything to drink." Slim offered for Jess.
"I'll leave you two alone and be back shortly." He walked softly out of the room.
Slim got up and walked quietly to stand just to the side of Jess' back who felt him arrive. Jess muttered, "That wretched son of a …" Jess bit down cutting off the rest of the sentence.
"You knew as a child you were a twin?"
"No." Jess reshuffled the cane and his weight, moaned and shifted his shoulder at a pain spasm in his back but it was Slim's face that grimaced. "But there were statements made at different times that had insinuations that didn't fit what I knew to be our life."
"Like what?" Slim was trying to gently keep Jess from imploding by keeping him talking.
"Well….I heard my mother tell a lady she knew who'd just lost a baby how she had been extremely depressed after I was born which made me feel guilty being born. Then she told her that she'd later figured out that depression was because she had felt there were twins due to all the activity we were churning up inside her and was disappointed she only got one."
"And that doubled your guilt?" Slim asked softly.
Jess briefly looked in Slim's face and Slim could see the full shadow of the alone-ness in Jess' eyes and began to comprehend why it was there.
"Ya. Dadgum it, Slim, I… ad…..adored my mo…ther!" it was an emphatic whisper and his voice was breaking by gulps of emotion he was trying to hold in. Then he looked down and then back out the window and he paused momentarily.
"She'd told me quite a few times how I was a fidgeter, always restless…and I figured if anyone would know they were carrying twins, it should be the mother, but there was no twin. …I…" his face grimaced in torture, "I … never meant to hu….hurt her insides….or …"
Jess gestured a thumb over his shoulder indicating the news the attorney had revealed accompanied by a "umph",
"Doggone …nearly kill her coming through the chute."
Jess' eyes were very watery and he looked down and brushed away a sniff with the back of his left hand. Then Jess mumbled mostly under his breath,
"Always had a swift sense of direction…."
Slim waited quietly giving Jess a moment or two to either release his pent up torture or pull himself in tighter. After an eternal few seconds Jess continued.
"Then as a kid, times I felt someone was beside me and could never see a body…"
Slim remembered how Jess woke up pawing at his left side expecting Josie to be there and she wasn't. Jess continued,
"…and there were those odd dreams that would repeat. Sometimes thought I was off in the head… something wrong with me… like my dad constantly harped at m… Stuff like 'at."
He looked back out the window.
"Over time, guilt turns into defensive anger….feeling guilty for stuff you had no knowledge or control…. and that would cause a short fuse." Slim's analytical mind concluded and he murmured more to himself in realizing new truths about his favorite human.
Jess' voice was deep and very soft…."Never told a soul….like as not get my head chopped off. You're the only one I've ever told Sl….." Slim's name was spoken half sucking in air and he couldn't finish it. Jess half looked at Slim but couldn't get himself to a full eye contact and looked back down, then out the window again, his posture bending forward in the fatigue of a lifetime of family hurts.
"I understand, Jess." Slim whispered and put his hand on Jess' left shoulder. "But knowing the facts now, you're actually more sane than you know. You just don't believe it….along with a lot of other people….hasn't had time to soak in."
"Ya….don't feel very sane. Heart's just shr…edded. Can see my mother all over Josie, now. Maybe that's why she seemed so familiar. If only my mom had've had Josie's luxury life….old Denver money..huph..." Jess shook his head, "Dadgum, THEY could've been the twins. And my mom never knew her. Both of them….just ripped outta my soul."
Slim had never seen Jess so wide open and vulnerable and it unsettled him not knowing how to help. Jess had let him in deeper than he'd ever been, maybe even deeper than any other human and he needed to tread softly in this torn up area of Jess' heart.
"At least they're together now, Jess. And you can't keep taking on responsibility and guilt for things you had no control over."
"SOMEBODY's gotta be responsible for the family!" It was a yelled whisper as Jess looked quickly at Slim's face in tortured moral integrity ingrained into his soul, then away and back out the window. "Dad-blame sure wasn't my fa…." Jess couldn't choke out the word and he angrily bounced the cane vertically on the floor several times in contained energy.
Slim quickly squeezed Jess' left shoulder, "Well, you're in MY family now. That's what counts."
"Thanks, Sslim." Barely a whisper….. "You and Andy been more family to me than any of my kin combined."
"And I'll take on all comers who try to change that!" Slim was emphatic and offered a half smile as he rocked Jess' shoulder gently. "Just so daggum lucky you found your way home 4 years ago….where you're supposed to be. Right?"
He gripped Jess' shoulder a scooch tighter waiting for an answer trying to bend Jess away from the window's grip of being lost in an outsider's world.
"Right?" He nudged again.
Jess relinquished and turned to look Slim briefly in the face and couldn't resist Slim's warmth any longer. He dipped his chin and partially smiled,
"Ya…right."
Jess tapped Slim's chest lightly with his sling-captured right hand.
John knocked lightly on the door startling both of them but King waited a few seconds then came back in. He expected Slim and Jess to be reseated but they didn't so he remained standing.
"Were there any questions?"
Jess cleared his throat, "I have two. You said the male twin was born first and could her illness have been cured by a match to a twin?" Jess asked looking directly in the lawyer's face to read him.
"The boy was firstborn" he looked at a piece of paper on his desk double checking, "…was a little bit larger than the daughter. The medical question I can't confirm. The Utah doctor reported that medicine is looking at bone marrow for links to curing her condition, but they've not confirmed any yet. They forwarded their research to Josie's doctors here and she was undergoing those experimental treatments when the hospital reported she had expired."
"Was she sickly growing up then?" Opting in for a 3rd question in lieu of an answer.
"No, other than she did have a low tolerance for infections, she had the one miscarriage she was told ended that hope and caused the resulting condition that brought her demise. Then Ben was killed before they could try again. But her mother had conception difficulties, so everyone thought it was genetic."
"My mother lost 3." Jess corrected the attorney with a direct look. Then he looked down and corrected himself, "Our mother… lost 3."
"Aren't you curious what you've inherited in her estate?" John asked.
"I inherited my twin, nothing else matters." Jess' face was torn fighting back both the emotion and the conflict but taking ownership of the truth and the pain that came with it. His long time questions were being answered but by a horrid ending and the insufferable loss of something he had sensed was part of his soul, but was robbed of his entire life. He could've cared less about any money.
"It's a sizeable amount of money. How do you want it handled? Bank wire might be the safest."
Slim tilted his head to Jess that he really needed to deal with this.
"How much and what was her original will?" Jess asked fighting disdain looking at the attorney.
"There's a complete accounting of all the funds and how they've been handled in this file. She had some medical expenses in the end and there were costs in liquidating the estate. She was going to set up a medical facility but hadn't picked one yet and while that was pending she wanted a trust fund set up for the local medical people to do further research. After all totals, between her inheritances from her parents, er adopted parents and her husband's estate, right at half a million."
"You don't have to decide anything today, Jess." Slim advised quietly giving him a big brother look.
Jess paused and looked at Slim a very long time ready to argue for donating all the money away, but backed down. Still looking at Slim he asked, "Where are the funds now?"
"Safe deposit box in Denver's largest bank."
Jess paused for maybe 5 seconds still watching Slim,
"Put my name on it with Slim's as backup and let it ride for now."
He wasn't watching Slim looking for approval and Slim recognized that. Jess was looking into Slim's face reading with that uncanny knack how they could communicate without words, drawing on Slim's educated business experience as though able to read Slim's mind and thoughts. Slim didn't have to say anything in response to Jess' gaze. His eyes were glowing and moist with both pride and compassion in approval of Jess' response while being in a vice of conflicting emotions and still exhausted and in pain from his mending injuries. And Jess read that, too, making a very slight dip of his chin in an acknowledged salute accepting Slim's communication he'd made the correct decision. They maintained their gaze at each other and John King looked at them for a few moments sensing unheard communication was occurring.
"I ..can um .. do .. that." He felt like he was interrupting them. "I have a folder full of papers you need to sign so this case can be kept up to date. Can you do that now, or do you want your attorney to look them over first?"
"Do I need an attorney or are you an honest man?" Jess looked back at the attorney and his face was non-accusatory, simply wanting a verbal commitment of honor and reading the response as his answer. Slim was proud of how Jess did business and with Jess' gaze off of him, blinked away the moisture in his eyes while still watching Jess knowing he was testing the integrity of the attorney the same way he read an opponent in a gunfight, or a group of men at a poker table.
"My longevity with this family and others of the same is my witness if you have qualms and I can provide a long list of references. I pride myself in my integrity and putting my head on the pillow every night and I sleep quite well."
Jess was satisfied, "I'd like to read through anything I sign, then drop them off on our way out of town tomorrow so you can file them."
"That's fine. They are marked for where and one document will need a witness, Mr. Sherman will be fine."
He jogged everything together and handed the folder to Jess who accepted it, tucked it into his sling and shook left hands with the attorney but the attorney was in no hurry to release the handshake.
"Thank you for your work and loyalty on Josie's behalf. Where can I pick up her ashes?"
"She loved the mountains and wanted them released to the wind to fly free. She designated the location to be keep secret because she wanted people to remember her alive and vibrant. The um ..staff at the hospital took care of all those arrangements and provided me a certified statement of completion of her terms she had worked out with them in exchange for participating in their medical research. It's been my pleasure to have known and worked for Josie. I will surely miss her exuberance for life. I am very sorry for your loss, Mr. Harper,"
Jess tried to retrieve his hand but John King refused to turn loose of Jess' hand as he turned away, and Jess shot a look at the attorney's hand then his face, King continued,
"and if I might add, from our meeting here, I see more of Josie in you than she saw her husband. But I now understand the peace she felt."
He looked in Jess' eyes steadily for a few moments, then released his grip and quickly turned to Slim to shake hands.
"Mr. Sherman, a pleasure as well."
Slim shook his hand then grabbed the box of diaries in a hurry because the second his hand was freed Jess headed for the door at a surprising speed on a cane. As they walked to the door side by side John asked,
"He seems disturbed by something. Will he be ok?"
"He's still in a great deal of pain from the injuries, Mr. King. Jess is a fighter, he's just got a lot to sort through and put together in his mind. If you need a safe deposit box signature card, could you have a runner deliver them to our hotel? I'll have Jess sign them."
"I will do that, leave the hotel name with Jane and I'll have his key here when you drop the file off tomorrow. I see a whole lot of similarities between him and Josie. It would have been fascinating to have seen them together, without all the upheaval."
"Well, sounds like they had a traumatic entry into life and she had one departing, but they at least had each other for those moments and that's what counts. Good day, Sir."
Slim could tell the attorney was yearning to know Jess more, but didn't feel like Jess should be off and alone so he didn't prolong the departing conversation.
CHAPTER 5: Inheriting the Future Dreams
Since they had to stay overnight to return the documents the next day, Slim dragged Jess to the hotel's restaurant to tempt him with a famous Denver steak trying to pump some food into Jess, but Jess ordered light fare and was so deep in thought during the meal Slim gave up and enjoyed his steak and they retired to the room early. Slim was happy that at least Jess had eaten something again. Jess had spent the afternoon in their room reading the lawyer papers and then asked Slim to read them and they found nothing amiss and signed them after getting back from supper. The signature card had arrived and been signed before dinner and Slim had brought a bottle of bourbon to the room where, after signing the papers with Jess, he poured a shot for Jess and himself. They sat back in their chairs with the closed file between them on the room's table.
"I know you're a million miles away, Jess, but I'm here if you want to talk it out."
Jess took a sip but stayed silent staring at the corner of the room.
"What was your read on the weird bird?" Slim tried another approach.
"He sure likes 'ose big words. Sipulating codifills, whatever those are. And what was so daggum wrong with my imitible answers? Jess was just slightly peeved.
"Ini mit able."
"Ya, that one. Never heard no such word before. What's he get paid by the word? What's it mean anyway?"
"It basically means unquestionably accurate. Like there's no way it can be imitated. Your answers were so authentic no one could have faked them and apparently they were also so accurate, it was a match to the results of his investigation following her passing. "Stipulate" is written orders and a "codicil" is an addition added later after the fact."
"Why didn't he just say that?"
"He did…..in lawyer speak."
"You mean weird bird squawk."
"Right." Slim smiled. "Your authenticity convinced him more than the information you provided. I think you really impressed the man, Jess. I know I was impressed."
Jess looked at Slim reading his face to see if Slim was pulling his leg or really complimenting him, but then moved on not dwelling on a compliment…not knowing how to respond. He took another sip instead,
"Well, he was ok when he got to not researching hell's address. Been a few people want to send me there a time or two myself. Puts us on the same team, I reckon. How do you know all these big words anyway?"
"Must be pretty good at lawyering to win enough cases to make his opposition mad. Huh? Well, I was bored in school most the time and spent hours reading dictionaries and dreaming up scenarios that fit the weirdest words I could find. When I was 13 had a beautiful blond teacher who found my stash of dictionaries and she began challenging me to words."
Slim had Jess talking so he tried the approach again.
"That was quite a lot of news to learn about your family."
Slim took a sip then slowly twirled the glass in his fingers as it sat on the table.
Jess took his right arm out of the sling and threw the sling onto the bed. He leaned forward over his knees to put his elbows on them but it stretched things the wrong way and he grimaced and sat back at an angle favoring the scabbed but still bruised gash in his back. He placed the cane tip under his bum and stretched it across the space putting the handle of the cane on the next chair and stretched his leg across the cane as a rest.
"I always thought twins looked like each other and were the same sex." His voice was as deep as his thoughts and they were sitting facing the same direction so there was little eye contact. He picked up the glass but just held it in his lap.
"Growing up I thought so, too, but had a guy in my squad during the war was a twin with a sister. Said there are two kinds. Identical and fraternal. Fraternal twins can be either the same sex or opposite and rarely look alike, when two different conceptions happen at the same time. Identical twins are same sex and look alike, supposed to come from the same conception splitting. He said him and his sister were alike inside though and they often felt the same things and could read each other, were closer than his other siblings." Slim paused to take a sip. "So she lost 3 others? Your folks must have wanted a large family." Slim offered several avenues allowing Jess to select what was on his mind.
"My mother loved kids and she was a natural mom, but my dad wasn't good with them or interested in us. He just….had expectations of what a wife was for, damn the consequences or whether he could afford to feed the results. Always was enough money for whiskey and saloon girls, but not shoes and clothes…or food. Had two older brothers… who were like my dad, then me then Francie, she lost two when Francie was a toddler and the baby girl was born sickly and died as an infant in the Bannister raid. So she lost 3 and a twin she never knew….well never confirmed. Suspected later thinking back the two she lost may have been the same reason why the last baby, Amy, was born sick, always doubted she'd make her first year. He had issues with Francie being a girl and was worse with Amy 'cause she came after my older brothers died….guess he expected more boys and all he ended up with was me."
"You indicated earlier you and your dad didn't get along well, even though you were a boy?"
"I favored my mother, blue eyes and dark, wavy hair, not man enough for him and upset I guess 'cause I didn't look like him and my brothers….were brown eyes and thin, straight hair. And I didn't like how he treated women….all women. We got into it a few times." Jess paused in memory a few moments then continued. "Was a little distracted at the time, but I thought Josie had blue eyes, her hair was dark, parts that fell off the hairdo was wavy. Something just went off inside me….first I laid eyes on her. Never felt that way seeing any other woman before, or any person for that matter. Felt so sure I knew her, bbut I'd never seen her before…was really strange. Loved her spunk."
"You feel the same as she did when you dove out of the stage? Point of origin and the like?"
"They said they were going to dump us somewhere no one would find, so was busy trying to salvage our lives and hurting pretty bad. Could feel myself bleeding inside, knew I had to get her away from them before I…."
He paused thinking a moment.
"Ya…I can remember her fitting into my body, there was no resistance or reserve in her yield…. like she'd been there before and knew where to, you know, put herself … in a proper meaning."
Jess checked Slim's face to be sure he wasn't misinterpreting as sex and Slim was tracking, so he kept talking….
"And without fidgeting to get in place there. Was the last I saw or felt her….passed out at the bottom. Hurting as I was, I remember how good her body felt next to my skin, was an energy coming off her. Ever just land in a bed and not have to move around to get comfortable, it just fits, and then wake up in the same position the whole next day?"
Slim raised his forehead, "Maybe once or twice. I remember how great it felt all over my body." Slim took another sip. "Especially when my feet aren't dangling off the end of the bed."
" 'at's what I felt holding onto her. Even rolling and bouncing off the rocks, every time we landed our body's just seemed to automatically adjust and nest….like pieces in a jigsaw puzzle. Thought that was unusual for the stress of that dive. Other women…would've been stiff or pushing me away under that level of fear. She cuddled right in."
Jess gestured her forehead fitting right under his chin and his right hand covering the other side of her head.
"I can see that. So what's really eating you, Jess?"
It was quiet for a few moments. Jess lightly shook his head surprised but then not so surprised Slim was sensing something deep. Slim had been the only human Jess had known who could get passed all his fences and read parts of him inside and at first that had distressed Jess. But over the 4 years he'd known Slim, his gentleness with that inner intuition he had and the answers he'd come up with, had proven right and earned a higher degree of trust than anyone else Jess' ever knew, too. He polished off the bourbon in his glass, holding the glass at his lap. Slim offered to pour another and Jess shook his head no.
"Sometime before I woke up, Slim, I had this dream. Only it was so real I thought I was awake. But then I woke up all groggy."
"Ya I remember how groggy you were. What was the dream?"
"Was inside a kinda balloon, ya know, inside like and it was all filled with liquid but I could breathe fine. All I could hear was a heart beating which I thought was mine because I was running and heard a little girl's voice, a baby's voice really, was giggling and somebody was next to me wiggling and had grabbed my heel, was tugging on it. There was a rope in my way I couldn't get past it so's I could pull whoever it was off my foot, but then I was laughing, too."
Jess was staring off into the corner of the room fighting tears back.
"It was so real, Slim, I was so convinced this giggling girl voice belonged to me somehow like she was a part of my body, so I thought I was living the future and she was somehow, you know like…. going to be my daughter."
Unconsciously Jess started lightly rubbing his right thigh bruise not because it had begun itching, but in memory and mumbled,
"Never felt anyone be a part of my body, or actually come from my body. 'Specially a female."
He paused for a few moments remembering the stir he'd felt inside him and lost in a moment of sweet reverie. Slim watched him drifting but waited patiently giving Jess the space he needed. Jess briefly looked into his lap grateful the wagon had missed the important areas, then to the corner of the room again and continued,
"Anyway, I was trying to grab the lasso to capture her but she was circled around me so tight I couldn't get the angle or ahold of this lasso. I felt I had to try even harder to keep breathing and I was so dadgum exhausted, but only if I kept breathing she could be born 'cause that lasso idea just wasn't working. Was a beautiful dream, I.. really enjoyed it … just the concept a little girl like that could come from my body ….and sound so dadgum happy…seriously, she was delirious happy."
He paused for a moment shaking his head lightly,
"Never heard no kid sound that happy. Nothing like the sound of a happy kid… if you can find one… sound is so addictive. Never heard a girl giggle that hard neither… was breathless as me."
He looked down at the floor then back across the room because tears were threatening to fall over his lower lids and he sniffed.
"Never gave any thought before, I could ever produce a little being that could be that happy. Or do anything that could bring that much happiness to any human…. Maybe like it's the only way to own that kind of happy."
Jess looked briefly at Slim with pain filled eyes, then back to the floor.
"Dream was just too dadgum short. One of those you never want to wake up from…or quits before you get all the answers."
He put the glass on the table maintaining his hand on it covering the top.
"You think it means something now?"
"Now? I don't know, Slim. Never put stock into dreams before. Mostly a nuisance and like as not, they're bad. Was it the future? Now I'm not so sure, knowing I'm a twin. Today I kept thinking about the sack thing foals come out in all filled with liquid and they have an attached cord looks sorta like a rope. Actually saw a goat deliver twins once, each one had their own sack. Could this dream have been Josie and me before we was born and something inside me.. that knew the answer.. while I was unconscious was trying to tell me where we'd been together before and when? And that I needed to try to keep living for her? Or now knowing she'd become so peaceful and happy having met me, she was giggling and delirious having latched onto my heel like trying to keep up with me fightin' off those hellions? Only King said she didn't know she was a twin. How will I ever know? Been knawing on that since the meeting."
Slim's forehead raised and he was amazed at the information he was hearing. Jess hadn't mentioned having kids before, always the happy bachelor afraid of marriage. Yet he was such a natural with kids.
"If your unconscious self knew you were a twin and was trying to tell you, then her unconscious self should have known and telling her, too. Like my buddy in the war said, he and his sister had the same thoughts without talking to each other."
"Ya, could be. Like us looking at each other like seeing in a mirror?"
"Right. Could be it's a twin dream." Slim added.
"What's'at?" Jess was now twirling his empty glass absent mindedly and looked over at Slim.
"A dream that's both the past being with Josie as a twin before you were born, AND a future promise that you'll be chasing a giggling daughter, maybe a twin herself. You know twins run in the family, right?"
"What do you mean?"
"It's a gene thing. Couples who come from twins, have twins in their future generations. Have to have twins in the line up in order to produce more twins."
"Is that a fact?" Jess smiled with a boyish grin looking at Slim. "You mean someday I could have twin kids? Wouldn't that beat all!" Then he looked back down contemplatively, "Twice the happy." He spun the glass so fast it almost went flying off the table and he had to grab it fast. "I have a daughter, her name's gunna be Josie, 'at you can lay money down, or Josilee."
"Just sorry you never got to spend any real time with Josie. Daisy and I really enjoyed her."
"Ya, well one thing's good about it." Jess pulled his leg down catching the cane and looked at his boot picking a piece of dried dirt off.
"What's that?"
"She never had to know her son of a bitch real dad. Wonder how many drinks he bought with the money he got from selling her…" Rubbing the dirt off his finger under the table.
Slim shook his head looking at Jess' profile, thinking, 'or any of the other crummy parts of your childhood she missed?' Slim tore a piece of paper off a hotel provided sheet laying on the table and wrote 7/24/1844, folded it and put it into his wallet…..Jess was going to have his first birthday party this year come hell or high water….even if it was his 30th….and there would be every kid in the county and games…maybe even a huge barbeque in the front valley.
"Ya but something bad that he did actually kept her alive plus gave her everything a daughter could dream of having and none of the mess you grew up with. So seems to me, he got the short straw in the deal."
"I reckon." Jess had to admit. He was back to studying the floor.
"Keep focused on the dream, Jess. Don't let him win by beating you up with your memories. In spite of everything he did, you still found her and in the process has answered a lot of your questions that have been hanging open all your life."
Slim finished the bottom of his glass and put the lid on the bourbon bottle.
Jess slid his empty glass to the center of the table where he watched it stop at the file folder like a Quarter Horse sliding to a stop.
"You're right, Slim. … again."
Jess stood up slowly and pulling his untied string tie off, he stiffly walked to the bed and began pulling the bedding back and flopped open his satchel of clothes rummaging for his night wear.
"Any idea how I can order up a repeat on a really great dream?"
Jess asked without much hope in his voice as he had to lean deeper into the satchel to rifle for something he couldn't see on top tossing garment pieces into heaps all over the bed.
"Ya, I do." Slim stood up and stretched his lean frame into eternity nearly touching the ceiling with his fingertips.
Jess stopped immediately, stood back up and shot a look at Slim, seeing him touching the ceiling made a face how disgusting it was Slim's height let him reach that high, he stated,
"How!?"
"Make it happen in life."
They crawled into their separate beds and Slim being the last one in, lowered the lamp wick to almost nothing. In the semi-darkness Jess asked Slim,
"You know if these medical places can take blood donations?"
"I've heard they do blood transfusions live like, don't know if they can store blood yet."
"I'd like to stop at the medical center on the way out tomorrow and donate some blood to their research department. Maybe they can study it and might help someone in the future with the same condition that took Josie….do it in her name so she gets credit for it."
"With your recent injuries, Jess, they might not take it. Daisy says it takes the body several days to replace one pint you lose and you're supposed to drink lots of fluids."
"I can drink…you should know that by now. We'll lift one for her after we get home."
"Sounds good to me. Guess I could drop off some blood too. Double up on the odds."
CHAPTER 6: Revivification
It was mid-morning on a partly cloudy day as Slim climbed back up the ladder re-joining Jess on the barn roof. They were in the middle of a roof repair on the peak. The stage had left and the replaced team turned out which he could do faster since Jess was still stiff. It had been three months since they'd met the attorney and Jess was still on the quiet side but making progress. His wounds had mostly healed including a minor surgery on the left knee cap but the endurance and flexibility were still not at 100 percent yet. The topic of Josie was not brought up anymore because after giving blood and returning home updating Daisy, Jess would get up and leave the room if her name was brought up. Slim read that this instance of yet another family trauma had been tucked away in the deeply buried room inside Jess where all his scars were embedded having been dealt with the best he could, but not completely mended. So they simply didn't bring up the subject. Slim decided when Jess was ready, Jess would open that door and then he would try to help him recover.
The Denver medical center had wired Jess shortly after their return asking him to drop by and donate more of his blood because they'd found some component in his blood makeup that was benefitting a patient with the same condition Josie had and wanted to continue their study and the treatment of the patient. Jess was stunned, but glad to be of help and had made 2 trips in the 3 months donating more blood. He'd gone alone leaving before dawn and returned on the same day, a long day and Slim would have to peel him off Traveler's back and carry him to bed on arrival home. He'd be completely exhausted for 3 days before getting back up, much to Daisy's consternation. She had advised he go only once every 3 months, but the medical facility was so excited to see something finally working, Jess' propensity to give himself away for anyone in need won the decision for the quicker pace. Slim didn't pick at Jess as he had decided to let Jess do what he wanted in order to work out some of his grief by giving to a needy person and just took up the slack for what Jess couldn't get done.
The barn roof had begun to leak again and they'd found the problem. Slim needed to get it fixed while the weather was still warm and more or less dry. Jess had been back two weeks after his 3rd donation and was functioning again, just more slowly as he got his muscles stretched back and loosened up. So Slim took care of the stage while Jess was busy nailing new boards replacing the ones that had cracked in the heat and turned into sieves. They were working near the peak on the far side and Jess had moved to the front door area to nail that end down.
"How you holding out?" Slim asked as he got to the top of the ladder and stepped onto the roof.
"Whacked my thumb and its screaming, so what else is new." Jess grumped sucking on it.
"We need to puncture it?"
"Na…not that hard a whack. Just woke me up, 'sall." Jess' voice was less than enthusiastic. "How about lining up that end of the board so's I can nail this end down?" Jess pointed with the hammer to the farthest end of the board.
Slim took about 2 strides and reached the end and lined it up and Jess nailed down his end. It was the last board of the project and Jess stood back up from kneeling to walk down to Slim's end to nail it down. But in standing, he got light headed and wobbled leaning backwards down slope of the roof and Slim jumped up and grabbed his elbow steadying him.
"Whoa, there! Little dizzy?"
"Just went too fast. I'm ok."
"Maybe Daisy's right….you're giving that blood too often."
"Not the blood. Is different. Been that way all morning."
"How different?"
"Just different. Heart's beating faster… couple shots of adrenaline. More like the um.." Jess' thought faded and Slim finished it.
"More like before a gunfight? The rush?"
"Ya. Exactly." Jess squinted at Slim's face acknowledging the accurate call. "'xcept nobody's mad at me right now….other than maybe Daisy, 'xcept she don't know it yet."
"Why Daisy?"
Jess gave Slim one of those, 'do I have to spell it out' looks. "Can't you smell it?"
Slim lifted his chin and took in a deep breath. "Apple pie?"
Jess grinned mischievously.
"She baked a pie this morning and you've already been into it? It's not even noon!" Slim was incredulous.
"She was headed outside with the laundry and pulled it out just before we came up here. What's the time of day hafta do with it anyway? Pie is pie anytime of the day and it's best hot out of the oven. Supposed to eat fruit you know, help rebuild my blood supply."
The little boy grin briefly shot across Jess' face as he kneeled down to hammer the other end. "Apple pie is the best fruit known to mankind. Can't get any more righteous than apple pie." He muttered nailing down the other end.
Right about then Daisy's yell….or scream shattered the morning's peace and Jess ducked down and leaned down where he couldn't be seen from the kitchen. Slim stayed at the peak looking toward the drive but from the side he could see Daisy come to the kitchen door with her hands firmly planted on her hips, motherhood-trained eyes scouring the ranch.
She saw Slim, "You seen that Jess Harper!" She yelled angrily waving a wooden spoon.
Jess was whispering loudly and waving at Slim below view of the kitchen. "No, Slim, don't give me up!"
Slim smiled at Daisy and Jess nearly melted down, "Ya, Daisy. He's up here with me."
Jess grit his teeth, yelled in a whisper, "SLIM!"
"Been up here all morning. We're just about done. He wants to know if that apple pie he smells is done cooking yet. What's wrong, Daisy?"
"That man! I swear….." She grumbled and turned around re-entering the house and slammed the door.
Slim waited to be sure the door stayed closed, then smiled and started to turn to look at Jess.
"Ok, she's gone, you're all clear." Jess stood up and they were almost facing each other.
"Thanks, Slim! She says she's trying to put weight back on me, but then holds back on the pie. I don't understand women…" Jess stopped suddenly and grabbed his heart and forced several deep breaths and a shadow of panic completely unfamiliar to him crossed his face that he couldn't understand.
Slim saw him and grabbed Jess' elbow trying to drag him to sit down.
"You'd better sit down, Jess. I don't want you falling off this roof."
Jess shrugged his elbow free, "No, it's gone now. I'm ok."
"That stuff doesn't come and go, Jess. Sit down." Slim wasn't buying it. "I've seen you in gunfights. Never seen your face flush like that."
"I'm OK! Slim… I don't understand…I felt this before …Jos…. passed. Bbut, she's .."
"Have you felt these a lot since?"
"No, just this morning and they've gotten stronger."
"So what did you feel?"
"Like you said. A rush of excitement, maybe a little panic…or fear. Then it's gone. Maybe I'm losing my edge…..we done up here?" Slim could tell Jess was shutting down again on the Josie topic.
Slim looked around and was happy with the job and bent over to pick up the toolbox. As Slim turned back toward the front edge to head to the ladder, his eyes landed on a buggy entering the drive. It was a very fancy one, a four seater with a surrey roof drawn by a single horse that was a gorgeous chestnut and had a female driving. The female disembarked from the buggy while looking all around the ranch as though searching for someone. As her foot touched the ground Slim could see her face and his face froze but his body began walking slowly to the front peak of the barn in disbelief. Jess saw Slim's face change and looked the same direction and had to walk forward to see the driver who had walked toward the house a few steps while taking off her gloves. She had stopped, still looking around.
"What's matter, Sl…"
Slim instinctively reached sideways trying to touch Jess but missed as Jess walked by him in slow-motion completely locked in and staring at the female. Jess instantly recognized the female but was going into full shocked stun and as though in a trance started walking toward her and right off the end of the barn roof forgetting that he was 20 feet in the air. Slim grabbed him just as Jess' first boot was in midair and hauled him back onto the roof, grabbed both his elbows from behind and turned him to the ladder. Jess' gaze never left the female and going down first, Slim had to guide Jess' boots to each rung all the way down as though Jess had never been on a ladder or he'd forgotten how to walk. The minute Jess' boots hit dirt they remembered how to move. Slim slipped through the corral fence directly behind Jess as he continued gliding toward the female. Just as Jess cleared the fence, the female saw him and their eyes locked in contact. Jess continued without stopping and she started weeping trying to hold back a full blown cry. Slim followed a half pace behind Jess watching both of them, himself in a daze. From the bottom of the ladder Jess' pace never changed from a slow, evenly paced walk still in a trance and the closer he got to the female, the more she started crying. They were just arm length apart when her arms came up reaching for his shoulders and without stopping he walked directly into her body lifting her with his legs, gathered her in a full body hug and she melted into his hold as he carried her walking a dozen or so paces beyond before stopping. Two human bodies could not have fit closer or matched better without any space and gaps. Her arms were on his shoulders around his neck and his arms were around her waist, she was suspended off his shoulders her feet dangled a good 6 inches off the ground.
Simultaneously they spoke, "Jess." Jess' was a whisper, "Josie." His head was buried tight into her cheek and shoulder in some of the air teased hair she was wearing partially up, part down and her head was ear to ear with him. Crying and burbling all at the same time, she began,
"I'm so sorry, my love….but I couldn't go through with it. It's just not right for you. It's just not right, I'm so sorry…" and she kept repeating it through her sobs.
"Shhh…Shhh!... Easy…Jose... Shhh.. I've got ya…"
Jess' deep voice began cooing to her as he does horses and began slowly swaying one foot then the other side to side gently as though comforting a baby in a slow dance, still holding her suspended off the ground, one hand had come up behind her head and shoulders. Slim was wiping literal tears off his face when he noticed Daisy standing on the front porch with her face glowing and her hands clasped at her mouth. Mike was at her side. They finally came up for air and he gently lowered her to the ground but she didn't want to separate and refusing to let go, danced in place with tiny steps, she grabbed on around his waist. He didn't want to turn loose either but accepting her grab onto his waist he put his hands on either side of her cheeks and began kissing her face, every inch of her face and wiping her tears with the back of his fingertips…still cooing to calm her.
"You can tell me later, Jose….. it's ok. You're here now, 'at's what counts. So proud of you, baby girl."
She continued blubbering, "I'm such a bad girl, I know I am. You need to hate me, for what I've done to you."
Jess re-took her cheeks more firmly pulling her into eye contact their faces barely 12" apart, still in his deep voice, but stronger, "No talk like that. I'll never hate you. Nothing you can ever do will stop my love for you. Don't even think that, you hear me!" He gently shook her head until she nodded yes her hands coming slightly loose from his waist. Quickly with her nod, he pulled her head to his throat where he'd tucked her just before they rolled out of the stage and she scooched in tight and nestled under his chin retaking his waist, whimpering and sniffing tears and they were locked together again inch to inch top to bottom.
"I love you so much, Jess. I just couldn't …"
"Shhh….Shhh! I know, Jose…. I feel it too. You did right coming here." They were still rocking slightly side to side and Jess began groaning low under his breath, as their energies merged. When Jess began to feel her body relax as though maybe weakening, he gently pulled back and she followed, they were toe to toe, arm and arm. She had him by the waist and he held around her shoulders and they finally looked into each other's face.
Standing at Jess' elbow Slim could see both of them and shook his head finally see the two in
healthy shape facing each other 24" apart. They did look like a pair of perfectly matched book ends as Daisy had commented so long ago. Their hair and eye colors were exact matches and Jess had lost a lot of his tan so their skin and complexion textures matched, her hair was just longer but just as full and thick, when they were hugging you couldn't tell where his stopped and hers started. She even wore bangs on her forehead like his curl, ear shape was identical, the whole package. She was proportioned the same, lean shape just 6 inches shorter but endowed nicely atop a tiny waist and narrow hips. Slim was still stunned with her beauty and held a new hope knowing she was Jess' sister that maybe there was a future for him, too, but that was for later. He was thrilled for Jess to finally have something healthy grafted back into his soul from such an ungodly and tormented life of family experience. He figured that the twin factor would give Jess a stronger mend than just another family relative like the distant fiddle footed Francie or the messed up Gil.
Josie noticed Slim standing behind Jess and she slightly flicked her head his direction and looked back at Jess' face.
"I know he's there. It's ok." Jess whispered. "Not a better man in this world, Josie."
"He found us or we'd a died where ever it was we landed." She acknowledged.
Slim saw his opening and gently stepped up beside them, then pointed between their chins to the far end of the valley and they turned to see where he pointed. "I found you both way over there by that boulder between those two pine trees. See it?"
Jess knew where he was pointing, he had an innate, uncanny sense of direction and near instant memory for landmarks anyway. He knew that whole valley by now like the back of his hand, he had it mapped in his head the first week he'd arrived. He turned to Slim and turned Josie toward Slim.
"She's here, Slim. Look!" He smiled really big.
"Well I was wondering if you two were gunna come up for air. You stand any closer you'll be behind each other."
Slim smiled at Josie wondering if the same entry would ever be granted for him again, but not wanting to push into their time together. She blushed ever so slightly and released one arm's hug on Jess and impishly reached around Slim's hips…was as far up his torso she could reach….and gave him a quick hug smiling like a little girl first at Jess and then more maturely up at Slim.
Slim suspended her arm and looked at Jess, "May I?" Jess smiled slightly but his eyes were relaxed and he nodded yes and released his hug. Slim leaned down, reached around and gave Josie a full hug. "Welcome back, Josie. I couldn't be happier to have you return."
Josie put on a small pout and looked up through her bangs at his face, "I wasn't sure I'd be welcome."
"Whatever's fine with Jess, I'm thrilled." Slim reassured her.
"Does your Esquire know you're here?" Jess asked gently, very curious.
Josie backed away from Slim and they stood in a three way triangle toe to toe. "I've done a really bad thing. Johnny is such a friend and loyal man…I'm afraid I've hurt him badly, too. He has no idea I'm alive and I'm not sure what to do. I may be in trouble legally, I don't know. But I was so desperate and sick."
It began to dawn on Jess, and Slim, that Josie had taken matters into her own hands and done some drastic things.
"I just checked out of the medical center yesterday and drove straight here. I need … someone I can trust who will counsel me how to get myself out of this and do right by everyone. I've been given a new lease on life, twice now, and I owe a lot of people for their love and loyalty, but I have no one close to me anymore who can understand…." She looked up at Jess…. "you know, down deep where my confusion is. If anybody could, I… I just felt you would, Jess. Ever since I met you, I've felt you ….oh, it's all so confusing!" She looked like she was going to start crying again which tapped Jess' heart. And Slim's. Jess grabbed her back and drew her into his enveloping hug and she snuggled right back in.
"I know the way, Jose…. We'll get there together." He cooed again.
"And I'll be right there to help!" Slim chimed in cheerfully trying to lighten up what should be a party reunion.
"First let's get you settled inside. Jess can get your luggage and I'll put this gorgeous animal in the barn and feed him. Is this your rig or is it rented?"
As they walked to the front door,
"No, they're mine. I purchased them just before I left."
"You have a good eye for nice horse flesh." Slim offered, "What breed is this?"
"I know horses, Slim. You're looking at the all-time record holder for first place in dressage. I was captain of Denver's finest ladies equestrian team. He's a.."
"Morgan, Slim and a beauty." Jess finished. They had reached the door and Jess grabbed the luggage.
"Should've known you'd be a horse expert." Slim stated without thinking. A twin to Jess HAD to be involved in horses somehow and at an expert level.
"Oh, why is that?" Josie asked offering to take one of the luggage pieces from Jess and he pulled it back away from her.
"Slim!" it was a low voiced warning from Jess not wanting Slim to slip up and talk about the twin factor. Slim grimaced an "opps."
"Because you're built just right for horses, Jose, must be in your genes." Jess covered for Slim and with his shoulder physically herded her up the step of the porch where Daisy was waiting. It was obvious she had been crying. Mike hurried around Daisy and took the smaller satchel from Jess and then opened the door for everyone.
"Good man, Tiger!"
Josie leaned into Daisy's motherly hug.
CHAPTER 7: Revelations and Rebirth
They doubled up in Daisy's room for the women and the guys were all back in the front bedroom. Daisy fixed a huge homecoming supper of a pot roast and everybody stuffed themselves. She served apple pie for dessert and she placed Jess' plate in front of him looking sideways with an all-knowing "I'll teach you a lesson or two" sort of look. His plate contained a very thin slice of the pie. He held it up and looked at it strangely then back at Daisy with his best little boy face that didn't work this time and Daisy just snorted and then smiled at Josie handing her a full slice but she'd noticed the silent communication between Daisy and Jess.
"Oh, apple pie!" Josie exclaimed. "It's my very favorite!"
Slim was grinning ear to ear but stayed out of it. With Daisy's back to the table going for the coffee pot on the stove and refills, Josie quickly slipped an exchange to Jess and then mashed her new thin slice so it looked like she'd gobbled most of the original slice down. Jess quickly replaced the pies to their original delivery spots, but in retrieving his hand he scooped a huge portion of her full slice of pie onto his fork and stuffed it into his mouth and then poked his thin slice with the fork as though waiting for Daisy to rejoin them. Josie pulled back her mouth in a half grin of amusement at his slight of hand and corrected moves. Jess winked at her and she quickly put an innocent face on her demeanor. By the time Daisy returned with the coffee pot it looked like nothing had happened except Josie had eaten a good chunk of her pie and Jess and Josie smiled at each other. Slim smiled because it was an automatic sibling prank and they'd just sat at their first meal together and were already at it. He'd had a hard time trying to not stare looking at them through the dinner because other than being a male and female, they looked identical and their movements were mirror image.
With Mike ordered to his room to work on homework, while sitting over coffee and the remains of the pie, Josie decided it was best to share her story. She was seated at Jess' elbow on Daisy's end of the table, Mike had been on the other long side which was now empty. They never paid attention before, but Josie was left handed and Slim found it interesting that he'd often seen Jess eat left handed many times, even though he shot right handed.
"That was a lovely meal, Daisy, may I help with the clean up?"
"Oh, no, Josie. I've got a system, get it done in no time shortly." Daisy assured her.
"Well, then, you've opened your door and fed me a wonderful meal, I need to share with you what I've done and if you don't approve, then if you'll let me spend the night I'll leave in the morning."
Jess raised a finger of warning. "Remember what I said, Josie."
"I know, Jess. But you need to hear what I need to say."
"Ok, you first, then me." he bargained.
She frowned briefly wondering what that meant but proceeded turning loose of Jess' elbow and just sitting touching him side by side. "Where do I start?" She mused.
"My parents are what they call "from old money" in Denver, meanin' just straight out, they were rich and my grandparents were rich. I was an only child as my mother had several miscarriages so they gave me everything whether or not I needed or wanted it, you know, the entire debutante society thing. My later years of school I met Ben Bartlette and we dated for a long time, the whole nine yards that the upper crust puts a couple through complete with a chaperone. Then we married young, mostly by our choice to get away from all the pomp and snobbery. But Ben had enlisted in the Union army and they called him up 3 days into our honeymoon, so our married time was very brief. While he was deployed my parents died in a traffic accident in downtown Denver and Ben's parents died close together of natural causes. Right after that I had a miscarriage and during my medical treatment I received a bad blood transfusion that had apparently not been filtered properly. It basically infected me with a condition they had no cure for and quickly progressed into a …um.. well they told me I wouldn't live long, probably never see my 30th birthday. Living with this condition was difficult and stressing and they gave me pills to cope with the symptoms, but that was only a bandage and dealing with it became depressing. Ben was injured so he couldn't go to the front lines and I had high hopes he'd come home, but they diverted him to a slave freedom train and he was soon killed being betrayed by a slave he was trying to free. That left me completely alone with my parent's estate, his parent's estate, and the estate we had already been building and had been investing even prior to our marriage. He did all the business so it was way over my head and I really didn't care about money. I have always been more interested in just helping people, the underprivileged and homeless, you know. Kids needing adoption was especially hard and once back on my feet, I spent a good deal of time working with them and foster homes. I had paperwork ready to go to adopt a child for myself, but then when Ben was killed, they disqualified me. I was alone again and getting sicker by the month. The medical center I was being treated at was a wonderful group of people and I made some very close friends with one particular doctor and two of his nurse assistants. They heard of a doctor in Utah who had been researching my condition and I was on my way to see him when I came through here. While I was here, I could feel my body …felt like it was crumbling from inside and I figured that was due to the stress of a long distance trip, which is what the doctor had warned me about. But that's why I had to leave here so fast."
Jess took her hand and squeezed it gently and she latched on with both hands and wouldn't turn loose.
"The doctor in Utah examined me and had some research notes which I carried back to my doctor in Denver because the Denver facility is a teaching research one and they did more experimental work than Utah. In Denver, from the notes I carried back, they determined that Utah might have a cure, but they needed a certain match to a certain kind of blood from a certain kind of donor, from a certain, certain, certain…. Anyway, the odds kept getting longer and longer and more hopeless and I was getting weaker by the day."
"You poor dear." Daisy quietly said.
"The stage coach thing was something quite out of my bailiwick and I was terrified until we got here and I saw Jess. Something inside me just …. I still have trouble defining it. But it was like looking in a mirror and that was a little panicky for me, especially with a man I'd never met and those nasty men were men, too, but they were so completely different than Jess. I just instantly felt an unconditional trust of Jess and his confidence knowing what to do and taking matters into hand. I'm sure those men thought they were in charge, but, I saw it completely different. They had entered Jess' territory and it didn't matter how many there were, he was just not going to roll over and give up. Ben was feisty, but he also had a..um….well, he'd bluff down easy and fold. I really didn't expect to wake up from that roll down the hill, but I was happy I'd die with Jess and not in the hands of those men, or that I'd shrivel up in some hospital with people making a fuss over me. But then I did wake up and had to go on making decisions. When they told me finding the blood I needed was so unlikely, I was so exhausted and depressed I had Johnny change my will liquidating everything and giving it to Jess. I knew somehow he'd know what to do with all that money. I withheld a large sum in a trust under the guise it would be donated for research, then threatened the medical people to withhold that donation if they didn't cooperate and help me create a story that I'd died during this experimental treatment. I was going to then donate part of the money and leave the hospital with most of the trust money and disappear. I did this for two solid reasons. First, I was tired of everyone's pity and sympathy, "poor Ms. Josie B…little rich kid with an incurable disease, all the money in the world couldn't save her" and the others were coddling me because of the illness and it was smothering me. I just couldn't take it anymore. Second, down deep inside where it told me to trust Jess, I felt that Jess would break down the walls of hell trying to search for me and that out of all people, he'd be the only one who could find me. But I wasn't going to saddle him with a sick, depressed woman and expect him to fix me, or pity me like everyone else was doing, or worse, take me on as some charity case, try to marry me and then put up a brave face. At least the money as an heir would pay back some of the pain he'd gone through rescuing me and I took a risk selling myself on the idea that the money would distract him from searching. So the doctors produced the documentation Johnny needed to close me out and I thought we were done. I agreed to finish the course of the experiment in the research which was going nowhere without the blood match and was going to live off the rest of the trust fund where nobody knew me.
But one day two people walked into the facility and oddly volunteered blood. The blood donated was marked "for Josie Bartlette" and the doctor figured it was meant to be a direct transfusion. So they tested the blood for purity and tested it for these chemicals, or components I guess they call it, something to do with white blood counts and antibodies something or others that was needed in this Utah research. They came rushing in all excited with the news. They told me the one set of blood didn't have the components, but was terrific if I wanted to have kids, would be a perfect blood match and I told them they were absolutely losing their minds. They said the second donation was a perfect match to what my blood should have been had it been healthy, and what it was before I'd become infected from the miscarriage. They said one pint wouldn't be enough, but with more of the donated pint's white blood cells, my blood would eventually be able to fight off this infection and reestablish itself to original health. They couldn't believe how close a match the donated blood was to mine, and if they'd had a whole body's worth, they could completely change mine over, but the donor would die. Over time, using multiple smaller doses, the donated blood's antibodies could fight off the infection for my blood enough so my body would heal and my blood would then have the chance to rebuild enough volume in its original formula. But they wanted to do it at an advanced pace in order to have a better chance at knocking this infection down."
Jess' leg under the table started jiggling up and down. Josie's voice began getting animated in happiness.
"With my approval, I agreed to continue the research coursework IF they could get enough blood from the donor to do the whole thing without any risk to the donor and not just whip up my expectations only to have it fail. So they re-contacted the donor and they never told me who, so I'll say it was a "him" agreed to provide all they needed and we were lucky enough that he was young and in great health so he could donate at a faster pace. But apparently the donor's blood maintained a higher than normal level of white blood cells they thought from fighting off a recent injury or infection and because we were going at the faster pace, they'd been able to gather the blood while that concentration was so high before dropping back to a normal level. So then with the strength or concentration of his blood's components, to everyone's surprise, all it took was the 3 transfusions and for the first time in 7 years my blood came back normal."
She was gleeful and raised both their hands in delight. But Jess suddenly stood up so fast his chair fell over backward and it startled everyone. He brushed his forehead with his thumb and almost ran to the front door Slim was afraid he would leave, but he figured it out just moments after Jess. Before anyone could move, Josie jumped up and ran after Jess who had his face in his hands, his hands as a brow cover on a hat with his thumbs on his temples processing what he had just heard, leaning with his side on the front door. He had been headed out the door and grabbing his hat, but couldn't quite make it slumping against the door. She stood toe to toe with him, reached up to grab and pull his wrists down and pleaded with him,
"I'm sorry, Jess. I did it again!"
She shot a look at Slim in desperation and Slim waved her down.
She continued trying to get beyond his hands, "Please forg…."
Jess didn't want the rest of the sentence and he grabbed Josie in another tight hug wrapping around her shutting her up by shoving her face into his chest and this time he was fighting the tears….and not winning. Neither was Slim or Daisy and they were fighting tears because they saw Jess' struggle to control. Josie peeped when Jess grabbed her but otherwise snuggled in again and waited for Jess' next move. For several minutes he groaned out loud deep in his throat seeming not able to get enough contact with her body as her bubbly energy began flooding back into his soul. Daisy's apron became wet from tears and Slim's fingers were not keeping up with the dam overflowing his lower lids. Finally, Jess slowly began to pull up and he back away far enough to begin kissing her face again. Josie was confused but started to sense this was a good event and not something torturing Jess again. Jess turned his back to the door and leaned against it pulling Josie close to him, putting his hands on her cheeks again, he looked her straight in the eye, his deep voice softly spoke,
"I was the donor, Josie. The blood was an identical match because we're twins."
Her jaw dropped open, "Ah, WHAT?!...twins?" Her voice was an octave higher as her mind was racing. Being true to his nature of a short fuse he cut to the chase morally was unable to contain the silence and secrecy.
"We're twins, Josie. Our father sold you at birth to your Denver parents under the agreement you would never be told. King never knew until he was released by your death to research past records which were sealed and those records revealed that we're twins and your adoption. That revelation was released to me because you designated me your heir and when he told me releasing your Will to me after you'd died, I read the documents. They told me you were cremated so Slim and I went and donated blood in your memory – for research – never expecting they'd do a live transfer!"
Josie went white as a sheet and collapsed in Jess' arms. Slim jumped up to help but Jess caught her and gently laid her on the reclining couch. Gingerly his fingers awkwardly fumbled at untying the ribbon at the neck of her dress, which was fixed and didn't open a thing. There was deep concern rising in his voice,
"Josie? JOSIE!?"
He gently but feverishly patted her face and tapped the top of her wrists.
"JOSIE!" and over his shoulder, "DAISY!?"
Jess was panicking.
"Josie, come back!... No…. NO!...ack! I just … I can't …DO THIS AGAIN!"
It was a heart rending plea and Jess was nearly lying on top of her leaning over her, his hands on both her cheeks lightly tapping them.
"JO…SIE!" was almost a scream as Jess' voice was getting higher and his face was turning pale. Slim reached for Jess' shoulders to pull him back off her and Jess angrily pulled himself free and back into Josie's face. He was still desperately clinging to her left hand.
"JOSIE…..don't leave me!"
Jess' left hand grabbed his chest over his heart and he sucked in a gasp of air…..
"OH, please God…..forgive me!...Don't take her again! Take me …take me!"
Daisy matter of factly pushed her way past the two men.
"Well, golly geehosifat, Jess. Have you never seen a girl faint? Back up now! Give her some room to breathe."
She waved and pushed them back in a motherly way, having to physical push Jess, but the minute she turned back to help Josie, they inched back in. She grumbled,
"What do you expect, dumping a load like that on her all sudden like."
She began waving her apron to pump some fresh air to Josie's face.
"Open the door, Jess, let some cool air in here."
"Yes, Ma'am!"
Jess would have moved the entire house if that would have worked. He jerked open the front door so hard it nearly came off the hinges and then jumped on the foot of the couch at her feet, one leg kneeling over her ankles, the other leg straight and foot on the floor, leaning forward over her body, almost fully covering her, his left hand propped on the window sill and tenderly calling to her,
"Josie? PLEASE don't leave me…..again….Jose?"
Slim picked up a picture off the mantle and began fanning her face area from his elevation which was stiff enough to actually move air and did more to revive her than both Jess and Daisy combined. Daisy was sitting on the edge of the couch taking a pulse from Josie's wrist and Jess couldn't get any closer and he was fidgeting above her.
Josie started to stir and her hand reached for her forehead.
"Je…ss?" she murmured.
It was barely a whisper but that was enough and Jess, who was straddling her feet at the foot of the couch, brought his other leg up to a kneel crawling up her body straddling her and shoving his way past Daisy nearly knocking Daisy off the couch and Daisy stood up. He ended up kneeling over her waist trying to reach her face still clutching one hand.
"JOSIE! I'm so sorry….. Wake up, Baby Girl! ….PLEASE wake up!"
He would have been in perfect position to begin CPR had those things been known back then and his eyes were watering. Josie's eyes opened and she focused and tried to sit up and Jess started to lean back to help her. However, Daisy leaned back in touching her shoulder pushing her back down and in a motherly tone,
"Lay still dear, you fainted. Give yourself a moment."
Josie laid back and Jess leaned back over her. She stared at Jess' face about 2 feet away. Slim stopped his fanning and put the picture back, watching with his eyebrows up. Slowly Josie brought her free hand up and cupped Jess' cheek and he took her hand and kissed the palm.
"I'm sorry, Josie. I didn't mean….." His eyebrows were furrowed to their tallest peak.
"We sure manage to …"
"Ya, we do…Baby Girl. Did all the way back before we were born, too, 'ccording to Mom."
"So that's why we feel th….?"
"And see the mirror…too. .."
"You are my point of origin….Jes… I knew something was…"
"Me, too, minute I laid eyes on you….got off that stage."
Then an unrehearsed duet, "Just nobody told..…us the truth."
Josie's eyes were glowing from tears and from peace finally knowing the truth and Jess smiled and nodded to her confirming what neither one needed to speak out loud.
Slim looked at Daisy shaking his head and she looked at him and Slim said, "Am I missing half of this conversation?"
"I think we're just hearing two people say the same sentences, Slim. It's been pent up inside them for almost 30 years."
Josie slowly sat up and Jess backed up on his knees supported her and they hugged sitting there. Jess was so full as he sat back gazing at her, studying her face and she then put her hands on his cheeks and slowly kissed all over his face and he received her affection for a moment or two, getting maybe getting 3 or 4 kisses then he had enough. He pulled her back in for another all encasing hug putting her head back under his chin, her forehead on his chest as though offering for her to drink from his heart the truth she'd been denied all her life. Within seconds she reached up through his arms and grabbed a hold of his shirt on both sides of his heart burying her eyes and begin weeping softly which then turned into heavy sobs as her true identity became a reality within her, further realizing she was no longer all alone in life's tempest. Jess sensed her drawing the confirmation from his heart and looked over her head his face contorted in sheer relief of the release of the pressure he'd been containing holding their truth inside himself. He let her take all she needed from his body and soul understanding the answers that were filling the huge crater that had been a haunting void torturing her inside her whole life much the same has had been unceremoniously dumped into his heart in the attorney's office. It was a transfusion not of blood, but just as real and life-giving in feeding on answers to her inner spirit and soul by having found its tap root of identity and he was ready for her to drain him dry if that was what she needed…even more than his blood.
Slim could not hold back his tears and he paced behind the table with his hands steepled at his lips, keeping an eye on the couch each time he turned and occasionally wiping a tear away. It was in real time watching Jess struggle to bring Josie's breath back had been like watching a mother give birth straddled Indian style as Josie came through the chute of knowledge learning her identity. He also was watching the healing going on inside Jess as he fed his twin sister her life's answers that he'd watched Jess have to fight to comprehend in the lawyer's office 3 months earlier. For all the negative impact the circumstances of the hand dealt to Jess, nothing on earth could have been more therapeutic to Jess' preternatural fatherly nature than what was happening on the sofa. Slim realized he was seeing a portion of the twin dream Jess had revealed later in the hotel that night play out now in real life. Jess had to have struggled to live through the stage attack and the horrible news of his loss in order to be able to now provide his baby twin sister her own nourishment in understanding who she really was bringing her into a new life. And nothing could have healed his grief more completely than to give her more than just his blood, but to give her the truth of who she was. It was a double nourishment, his blood saving her body and his captured truth feeding her soul with it's true identity. Watching them intertwined gave Slim a surge of intense jealousy wanting to be inside Jess' shirt holding and nourishing such a beautiful creature to that deep level, but at the same time Slim's heart knew Jess needed these moments more than the air in his lungs and Slim would have fought off anybody or any force that would try to interfere with what was happening on that couch. He was happy and content to have these moments available in his home and to have provided them the sanctuary for what was being birthed. Slim knew down deep inside him where those rumblings lived that if he had anything to say about it, at some point in time this woman would become his wife and as much as he wanted to have her now, he realized now that she had not been whole when he'd looked into her soul and saw that vulnerability on that morning months ago. She needed to go through this rebirth and discovery of who she was and that further, there was no one better than Jess to guide her through. There was no one else Slim would have trusted or wanted more than Jess either, to be the one to help his future soul mate find her 'belonging and fence posts' as he'd seen Jess do. Jess would do it correct the first time and be able to turn her out nicely same as he did the horses he'd gentled and brought to their understanding their purpose in life.
Daisy was standing her back to the table leaning on it and turned to look at Slim so he joined her and they watched from near the dining room table, standing shoulder to shoulder.
"You know every mother I've ever helped deliver a baby, after she feeds them, ALWAYS bathes that newborn with kisses all over their body."
"Is that what they've been doing?" Slim mused at her insightfulness.
"Seen fathers do it, too. Psychologist doctors have told me it's a bonding ritual." She reported matter of factly.
"That so?"
"Uh huh."
"Amazing….pretty doggone amazing." Slim couldn't say a word, entrusted by Jess with the confidences shared in the lawyer's office.
"Course you know what this means, don't you?" She asked.
Slim was too full of surprises and worried, took one step away, "What?" He asked nervously.
Daisy gave him a side look digging in her ear to itch it with her little fingertip,
"Means Jess is out of the running as her soul mate." Cupid was at it again.
Slim crouched slightly, blushed and put his finger to his lips. "Shhhh!" then waved his fingers. Daisy's insightfulness was just a tad bit dauntingly accurate.
Daisy copied him, "Shhh!" and they smiled.
Jess was helping Josie to her feet and they walked hand in hand to the table as Jess pulled off his bandana and offered it to Josie who gratefully accepted and used it. The front of his shirt was completely wet over his heart from her tears but he didn't care or seem to notice.
"We got it all figured out yet?" Slim asked smiling.
"Gotta daggum good start, Slim." Jess smiled at Josie and she beamed back at him taking his hands back hanging onto his hand with both of hers and raising her shoulders in delight gave up a cute little girl giggle. They sat back down in their places at the table, Jess leaving his fallen chair and simply pulling Josie onto his lap. He filled his fork with a hefty bite of apple pie and lofted it.
"I propose a toast." Each person matched his fork full.
"To new beginnings!" Jess smiled.
It was a simultaneous response all around, "Here, here!"
Slim winked at Daisy and she grinned.
Out of the side of his mouth in Daisy's direction, Jess quietly interjected ribbing Daisy's portion control,
"Even if all you're given is a skimpy slice…" giving her a coy smile.
Her retort was cut off because as he spoke, left handed, Josie shoved her fork full into Jess' mouth which he managed to capture most of, but she wiped the bottom of the fork smearing it on his closed lips as he started to chew and he had to quickly lick his lips. He then took his fork full and gently offered it to her and she accepted it very lady like and blushed as they smiled at each other.
CHAPTER 8 Restoration
Jess and Josie had cuddled back up together on the lounging couch after the pie. He was backed against the wall and she was just off his lap and leaning on his chest and they seemed perfectly content just to be in contact with each other and stare into the fire. They were wrapped in the granny square coverlet and Slim wasn't sure which one would fall asleep first as they both were nodding off. Their silence testified of the peace they'd both found and merely being in each other's presence was like they'd been tucked back into the womb together resting after a joust of play. But Josie drifted off to sleep first laying on her side with her head and arm leaning on his chest, her fist lightly gathered at her chin. She had told Jess that driving into Laramie that morning she was nearly having panic attacks and the closer she'd gotten to the ranch, the worse they became and she almost threw in the towel believing that Jess and everyone would hate her so much for what she'd done that she wouldn't be welcome. Slim had looked at Jess and they'd exchanged nods admitting and confirming without words that was what Jess had been feeling on the barn roof all morning. Their twin connection had been at work but he'd been in denial believing Josie was dead. Slim offered to carry Josie to bed once she'd fallen asleep, hoping to have contact with her again, but Jess wouldn't turn loose and Slim quickly relinquished so that he could have all he needed. Jess picked her up easily and gently like an experienced father gathering a large child, her head softly draping onto his shoulder and he had tucked her into bed just as softly as Slim had and kissed her cheek after pulling the blanket up over her. They both lingered by the door for last looks at her asleep, Slim standing behind Jess.
"She's so light, like a feather." Jess commented quietly and Slim smile remembering his identical evaluation months ago.
"I couldn't be happier for you, Jess."
"Thanks, Slim….."
Daisy was behind both of them and began shooing them from the room, "Time for bed, men. More tomorrow."
She lightly pushed Slim who nudged Jess and they filed out of the room and everyone turned in.
Josie was up bright and early the next morning right at dawn having slept like a baby and feeling strong and alive. She jumped right in next to Daisy to help start breakfast and Daisy was enjoying some woman company. Slim had overslept missing his "morning sun light moment" he was hoping for as having another chance of seeing Josie in the morning light. Jess slept like someone had knocked him out and Slim, realizing he'd missed his wake up moment, had gotten up and dressed then turned his attention to Jess and was having a hard time waking him when Josie appeared at the door.
"Daisy says breakfast is about done. You get him awake yet?" Josie peeked in the doorway and whispered.
Slim stood up and met her by the door looking back at Jess who was on his side and facing away from the door. "No. I'm thinking maybe we should let him sleep."
"Why?" She whispered loudly. Josie was vim and vigor awake and ready to play.
"Well, usually he's up early and going like crazy. But, he's out and with everything he's been through the last 3 months, has got to be exhausted. 'Member he was hurt, then HE found out he was a twin and lost you at the same time, and has been donating blood like crazy. Hasn't really gotten his endurance back yet from the stage thing. That was quite a shock finding you are alive, especially on a twin. You know he was feeling your panic attacks yesterday morning and couldn't figure out why."
"Oh!?" She was still whispering. She tip toed over to his bed and peered down at his sleepy face which had a good start on some scruff and she could tell he was out cold. She had the sweetest look on her face that was a cross between playful sister and endearing love. She tip toed back toward the door still looking over her shoulder at Jess and nearly ran into Slim. Slim wanted to bar the door but took a step or two back not wanting to barge into their time, and he was having trouble again. His heart was racing and her beauty was already lighting things back up inside him. He was beginning to see not only the same spitfire Jess had, but she was precocious having had an education and social training, and she had a bubbliness that had been beaten out of Jess by life's hard knocks, and only surfaced in Jess when he was sneaking apple pie from Daisy's hidey holes. That bubbliness was an infectious energy and he could begin to see where when she was not under stress, she was a force of happiness to be reckoned with and not used to losing what she went after. Jess had that 'reckoned with' force and was not used to losing either, but his was so serious and even deadly. Unknown to them as they continued at the door, Jess faded awake and rubbed his eyes and began to overhear their conversation, but being intrigued, he remained still. She took the extra steps he yielded and stood toe to toe with him again and looked back up his chest into his face and smiled. Slim curled his toes inside his boots and held his ground still wanting another look into her soul yet cautious not wanting to ignite the burn he felt inside when he looked at her. They were standing just past the doorway of the bedroom, Josie facing out and Slim facing into the bedroom. They gazed into each other's eyes for several moments then she finally spoke.
"You've known him longer than me, Slim, you know best. You two are close. Very close, yes?"
Slim blinked a few times half concentrated on her, half on trying to get his brain to function, "Yes. We're almost, if not, nearly brothers in a non-blood related way. He's got his edges, but he's a wonderful man and I've never met someone of his caliber before."
They remained locked in each other's gaze, she continued, "I can see that and that you're a wonderful man, too. Saw that when I was here before and wanted to explore you, but I was confused over what I was feeling for Jess."
Slim didn't say anything, just riveted at looking at her and soaking in anything she did or said.
So, Josie continued in her naivety, "I've had men look at me before, Slim, but none of them ever looked at me like you do. Do I bother you or offend you in any way? I don't want to come between my new brother and his best friend."
Slim still didn't say anything and she tilted her head quizzically, "Slim?"
"Josie….. you don't offend me in any way, just the opposite, but I don't want to get between Jess and his new sister." His numb mind echoed. "He needs his family. All the family he can."
"How do you mean, "opposite"?" She was locked into him with eye contact and holding unwilling to turn loose until she got what she was wanting.
Slim could tell it wasn't a spoiledness from a child, but simply a person who'd grown up with the expectation of having what she wanted as though it was not due her, but simply how things were. She had never wanted for anything and expected to receive what she was looking at, that excuses or explanations were unnecessary. To Slim it was refreshingly honest and it made up part of her vulnerability which was now hinging on self-negativity. He didn't want to crush her spirit.
"Josie, you're just about the most gorgeous creature I've ever met and yes, you fascinate me like no other woman has ever reached me. I find myself wanting to get to know every part of you and use every minute of the day to be with you. But you have so much going on in your life right now, and they are of more priority and must be dealt with first before there's room for me."
She released their gaze and started to take a step backing up and Slim's heart skipped a beat. He quickly, with firm gentleness grabbed her elbows. "Josie?" He'd just bared his heart and couldn't take no answer.
She allowed his capture but didn't look back up and he put his finger gently under her chin and lifted it until she did reach eye contact. She put her hands overlapping each other on his chest softly and quietly answered,
"I could have said the same exact words to you, Slim. I just don't want you to be miserable while I get my act together. It just wouldn't be right OR fair to you, and you're such a dear friend to Jess…even brother. I don't know what to do yet and I don't want to hurt you because of that. I've already hurt too many people. Ben wasn't even half the man you are. I've never met two finer men than you and Jess, all in one place. My life has been so sheltered and parceled out to me by people making decisions for me, I'm in brand new territory and nothing in my whole life ever prepared me for this. Hopefully, Jess can take the reins of my life and show me what to do. There's something inside him that knows, I can sense it. He's a lot more experienced with life than me."
They were out of sight to Jess' bed and he eased out of the bed on the far side and got dressed listening unemotionally.
"You're on the right path, Josie. I'm here to help you and Jess both where ever I can. We can deal with us later." Slim tried to encourage her away from the shadow of uncertainty that had crossed her face. Holding her chin he reached down and kissed the tip of her nose and she giggled lightly. Then she reached up and took the sides of his face in her hands and kissed his mouth ever so delicately. They looked into each other's eyes and then Slim took her face and they kissed warmly and lingeringly. When they pulled apart, she was woozy and muttered, "oh my!" putting her forehead on his chest. Slim held her around the shoulders until she was ready to move away and looking up he saw Jess dressed and standing deep in the bedroom but lined up by sight through the door.
"Breakfast!" Daisy called cheerily bringing food dishes to the table, she caught a glimpse of the tail end and went back to the stove for the coffee pot not wanting to interrupt cupid's work.
Slim gently ushered Josie toward the kitchen, "I'll be right there, Josie. One last check on Jess."
"Ok." Josie perked back up and cheerfully approached the dining table not aware of what Slim was looking at.
Jess' chin was raised and he was looking directly in Slim's face without emotion…and Slim knew this needed to be handled immediately and he walked into the bedroom and closed the door quietly behind him. He'd never seen this expression on Jess' face before.
"Jess, it's not what it looked like." He started hoping his face wouldn't blush.
Jess' face didn't waver or change.
"How much of that did you hear?" Slim continued.
"All of it." It came from deep in Jess' throat.
Slim started blubbering… "Jess, I …. She's so… never had any woman go through me like she does…..inside me. My mind won't work….care less about this place….. just want to …. get to know her."
"You mean the Biblical "know"?"
"Well,…. I guess, ….ya, that one, too. Things going on inside me I'm not starting."
Jess took one step closer and Slim's forehead went higher but he held his ground because Slim couldn't see anger in Jess' face which is what he expected.
"If it were any other man but you, Slim, you know what I'd do." Jess' voice was deep.
"Ya." It faltered coming out of Slim's throat.
Jess' lock on Slim's eye contact was unwavering but there was a softness Slim had never seen before being afforded him.
"A woman, especially her, needs a covering. She's going to need things only a man can do, one who will secure and cherish her on the inside where I can't go. Knowing the cloth we're both cut from and with what she's been through her whole life, I can't trust that to just any one."
"You know I…."
Jess held up his hand for Slim to shut up.
"She's naïve and vulnerable with men and with life and she's spirited enough she needs special handling. I don't know any man I'd trust both areas with more than you, Slim. But I'm trusting you with something more precious to me than my own life, so just …"
"I know, Jess. You know I'll earn your …." Slim's confidence was breathing a sigh of relief.
"..just be careful." Jess finished his sentence. He stepped closer to Slim and as they turned he put his hand on Slim's back as he reached for the door with his other hand.
"You don't have to earn something you already own, Slim." He dropped his hand off Slim but retook the eye contact, "But it's yours to lose. And you'll lose more than that before she's ever hurt."
Slim turned to go through the door together and put his arm on Jess' shoulder stopping Jess momentarily and Jess turned back and looked at Slim's face.
"I didn't have to come in here when I saw you watching, Jess. But I wasn't going to hide or go behind your back and wanted to clear things with you first before going further with what I feel, what I believe she feels, too, by what we just admitted to each other with our first kiss." Their eyes held contact for several moments in an exchange of openness.
"I realize that, Slim." Jess popped Slim on the ribs, " 'At's what I said, yours to lose."
They went through the door smiling at each other then turned to the table.
Jess and Josie saw each other and smiled. "Did someone say breakfast?" Jess asked.
Josie squealed "Jess!" and ran to him almost knocking him over and hugged him and he hugged back twirling her around one time diffusing her momentum, then kissed her cheek and herded her to a chair holding it for her to sit down.
"Mornin', Tiger! How 'bout passin' those flapjacks over?"
Mike grinned but his mouth was full and oozing syrup out the sides, so he just handed the platter across the table and Jess took it.
"Flapjacks?" Josie said. "What are flapjacks?"
Jess plopped several on her plate. "These are flapjacks, silly girl. Doesn't Denver's society ever eat flapjacks?"
"Well, yes, we eat these things, but they arecalled, "pancakes"." She announced holding her little pinky in the air on the hand holding the knife full of butter.
"I don't care what their handle is, please pass some down here, I'm starved." Slim held his hand out and Jess passed the platter.
"Did you sleep well, Daisy?" Jess asked having noticed she was too quiet.
"Why, yes I did, Jess. Thank you for asking."
"These…flapjacks…are scrumptious!" He looked first at Daisy, then sideways at Josie. She giggled and pushed his right hand with her left hand and he pushed back in a light territorial dispute over table space.
"I hope I didn't disturb you, Daisy. Ben never complained that I snored or anything."
"Oh, no, Josie, you are quite the fine room mate. Not a peep all night, not that I stayed awake to find out." Daisy grinned, now becoming happy to be included in the conversation.
The morning meal finished and cleaned up and the first stage had pulled away so Jess and Josie took a slow walk out to the boulder where they had landed for a curiosity check. They were hand in hand with a slight swing between them.
"I'd sure like it, Jess, if you would tell me about your life and our parents, the family I was supposed to have been a part of. I'd like to know more about you." Josie asked sweetly looking to the side to see Jess' facial response. He frowned slightly and pursed his lips.
"Your right to know, Jose, but it ain't pretty. Fact, pretty doggone opposite to what you had in Denver. Maybe you should just ask what you want to know."
"How many in the family, what are they like, are they alive? Have you ever married?"
"Panhandle of Texas, folks were sharecroppers on a ranch, very poor, hard life. Our pa was …."
"Go on. I need to understand how he could give me up."
"He was a mess, worthless, mostly on the bad side of the law. Two oldest brothers were like him and they were killed before I was 14. Mom was a wonderful person, you're a spitting image of her…natural mother loved kids. Then you and I were born, she had a rough birth and almost died, when our pa sold you off to an adoption firm. After us was Francie, she's true and alive living somewhere on the west coast with a reformed gunfighter, supposed to be starting a family, but she's mostly off in her own world and we rarely have contact. Mom lost two babies after Francie and the last one was sickly. Was 15 when a gang attacked our house and burned it down. Parents and the baby were killed. Francie was visiting cousins in east Texas. So it's just her, you and me. Never married…haven't found the right one yet."
"What did you do with yourself after the family was gone?"
"Drifted mostly. Joined the war as a Reb but was captured and put in a Union POW camp until I proved myself and they sent me out west to scout and do dispatch riding. Union army began treating me good, pretty much became a trouble shooter for them. After the war I was on the drift again about 5 years getting myself into trouble and ended up here when Slim's little brother Andy nabbed hold of me. Slim and me hit it off and I've been here just over 4 years. He's made me a partner in his ranch here."
"Is that all?"
"Ya, pretty much. Help the sheriff out in Laramie when he needs. Ride backup on the stage business somebody's sick or they need a guard."
"Favorite things?"
"Horses, huntin' and fishin'. Enjoyed drifting…traveling seeing new things…nothing tying me down. But it was getting old." They had arrived at the location. "Here we are."
They looked around some but neither of them remembered being there and after a few short moments they looked at each other quizzically.
"Well, I don't remember any of this, how about you?" Josie asked.
"Nope. Me either. Got to the bottom hurting barely awake, then my back hit a jagged rock and that was it for me. Woke up in the house." Jess admitted. "Figured if anybody, Slim would know how I think and would piece it together and find us. If not, then at least we'd go in peace. Been out here a few times before then. It's a peaceful place, get lots of thinking done here. Be a good spot to disappear from life. But, Slim figured me out, again."
Josie took Jess' hand and pulled him down on a stack of pine boughs near the boulder and they sat cross legged facing each other and in view of the house where Jess noticed Slim kept glancing their direction as he worked around the outer corral.
"What's bothering you, Josie?"
"About Slim." She shot a look up through her bangs at Jess, her head mostly looking down into her lap. "Would you please be straight with me? I know I'm not very world-wise."
"You'll learn soon enough, Jose, I'm straight with everybody. What about Slim?"
"Jess, don't get me wrong or anything, but like I said, all my life people made decisions for me, gave me everything even things I didn't want. They made sure I had the full education, too. I had a love for Ben I thought was the real thing, but, I really never dated anybody. We were, you know, appropriately paired up. His parents and mine….adopted ones, were close friends and I guess they just assumed because we grew up together and were family friends, that we'd eventually marry each other. I can't really say I was in love, you know, smitten and soul mate and the like, but he was tall and handsome and everyone said we looked pretty together. You understand?"
"Ya."
"Like I said, Ben and I married to get away from the intrusions of society expectations and he'd enlisted for the same reasons because society expects service. But then he was called up 3 days into our honeymoon. He was a gentleman, a doll really, but very shy and when it came to intimacy, he was… oh, this is embarrassing."
She looked off to the distance. Jess could see her stewing, but gave her space to decide and continued twiddling with a twig he'd found. She felt comfortable with his lack of pressure and continued.
"He um…we both were virgins and when it came to, you know the marriage thing, he was very introverted and didn't have a good opinion of himself because he was small. And he had trouble… you know…doing it….or getting to the place where he could…do it."
She briefly looked at Jess and was he was looking down at the twig. Out of the corner of his vision he saw her look at him and dropped the twig and took her fingertips, hand to hand.
"Go on. Spit it out, Jose. What I'm here for."
"I know. I feel you know things beyond my experience and I need you so much." She shrugged her head sideways slightly and continued. "The wedding was huge, lots of parties and we were both exhausted and he slept through most of what honeymoon we did have. We actually only had…did..twice …barely. Of course, later finding out that was enough and I was expecting. But then while he was gone and just after both sets of parents died, I miscarried and the blood transfusion messed up my life. Nobody was there to tell me what I did wrong. So…I don't really know anything about love and what men expect or want, or are supposed to have. Nothing like that. My mother…adopted mother didn't tell me anything more than, and I quote, "the man picks you and then he owns your body and does anything he wants, so make him happy, your marriage depends on the sex."
She shot another look up at Jess face and his eyebrows were furrowed in compassion and amazement. His parents never discussed sex with him either and his childhood's sex education was being exposed to his father's abuse of his mother.
"Jess, I..I'm so embarrassed!"
She tossed his fingertip hold loose and tucked her hands hugging her body. Jess slowly reached across her lap and pulled her sleeves until they came out from hiding in her ribs and he retook the fingertip hold. His gentleness reassured her but she frowned slightly at how easy he was to talk with.
"You did nothing wrong, Josie. Everybody else did."
"Are you sure? How do you know?"
"I know how men are supposed to treat women, what love is really supposed to be."
"How did you find out?"
"I know by what I've seen that was wrong, I reckon. Things that were wrong in our family, my time in the war, met a lot of people who have had … hard lives and what they've shared with me. When you're out there among people, you learn things and the exposure to the events in life begins to teach you right and wrong. There's a compass inside all of us that knows, we just need to learn how to listen to it. Like you feeling I was your origin point and all. See?"
"Ok, that makes sense. There's just a whole lot more to this living than society parties and.…"
"What's that got to do with Slim?"
"You gotta promise not to tell him, ok?"
"Ok." Jess was intrigued.
"Don't take this wrong, but I'm not that bad looking…I mean men pretty much have stared at me all my life. But when I was here before during the stage thing, before you woke up, Slim and me looked in each other's eyes…it was like I could see right down to his toes. Jess, my heart started racing and I could barely breathe. All I could see was this wonderful spirit and a man's man but one who was tender and gentle and knowing…. I got all weak in my knees. That never happened before when other men looked in my face. I just didn't understand what I was feeling about you and I…I didn't want to mislead him, so I looked away."
"Has it happened any other time?"
"Well, no, not until this morning before breakfast, we kinda sorta ran into each other again, like before and, well, this time we kissed. Oh….dadgum…is that what you say?"
Jess chuckled lightly at a society girl trying to learn the lingo.
"Ya, 'at's the word. Something happen?"
"Well….I'm not sure I'm supposed to talk about those things….with a man. But, ya, it was wonderful. Certainly nothing like the cold fishy ones Ben ever tried. With Slim…I um…..I mean he tasted so good, then I couldn't breathe for a few moments, but I didn't want to stop, and.."
she took her hands loose and made an all sweeping hug drawing it to herself,
"…. I just wanted to take his whole body inside myself."
Then her face changed from a dreamy female to an exasperated sister planting her hands on her hips,
"Am I a whore?! Now, just tell me straight, Jess! I mean, all the women in Mom's society circle kept telling me was that a woman has to just grin and bear it when it comes to intimacy."
A huge grin of relief plastered across Jess' face as he looked her straight in the face,
"Furthest from it, Jose…you're a healthy woman with normal emotions and feelings. You just need a few laps of life in general under your belt….for confidence. Then when you get to the marriage part of life, it will be easy and more fulfilling. It won't be a duty, it'll be a gift, like its supposed to be."
"So I can enjoy it then?" She was starting to raise her eyebrows like Jess.
"If you can't relax and enjoy the relationship part, Sis, then it's not right and neither will the intimacy. Love doesn't force anything, it's a gift from down deep inside. For both."
Jess' eyes were glowing watching peace settle into Josie's face and she charged straight ahead finding a source of knowledge she felt she could trust.
"I know he's your best friend, but if Slim's a good choice, why isn't he married… you know, kiddos tucked away somewhere? He's very handsome, surely some woman's captured him."
"Slim was left to raise his younger brother Andy after the war when their folks died, plus he's had to put his personal life on hold trying to get this ranch on its feet. Andy's 17 now and in St. Louis for school and the ranch is doing better. He's dated but I think he just wants the ranch in good financials before bringing a wife onboard. But you need to decide for yourself what you want in life and then do it because you're sure inside and not because someone tells you to do it, or because you feel pressured by anyone to do it. It needs to be something you want. That way when you do commit to a man, you walk into it as a whole person knowing who you are."
"That makes a whole lot of sense. I've never really been on my own, or done anything that others weren't expecting of me."
"King said your options for future children ended because of the miscarriage. Have your doctors given you the same advice?"
"No. They said get married first and just be wise. They had some very interesting medical charts on the walls in the Center."
"So physically you can have more?"
"Yes. I think what Johnny might have been referring is that with the blood being infected, it would transfer to the child and either cause another miscarriage or the child would be born sick. The doctors who did my last blood work said now that my blood is whole again, having healthy children would be safe. They were still promoting the blood donor that came with you. Thanks to you healing my blood I can have kiddos now so…" she squeezed his hands and leaned forward giving him a kiss peck on the side of his mouth. "…so my children will also come from your body, just through me." She plopped back down on her bum with a happy anticipation. "And I want lots of them, too. Kids are so fun, especially when they are happy and laughing all over the place."
Jess dropped his head lightly shaking it still in disbelief that his blood had accomplished all that medical remedy. She giggled and Jess stared back up at her face suddenly remembering his dream of the girl giggling and the feeling her life came from his body and his face drained of its color. He dropped her hand and stood up abruptly and Josie gasped and re-grabbed his hand and seeing her fighting her dress with the other hand trying to stand up with him he reached back and helped her stand but was standing sideways to her.
"What'd I say wrong?" She earnestly plead and tried to get in front of him.
"Nothing, Josie….."
His face pinched in a light frown and looked back at the house. Slim saw the abrupt movement and stopped for a moment and looked and even at a distance their eyes met. Jess realized the truth of the dream, the giggling baby girl was Josie and they were in their mother's womb playing, but also as Slim had said, it was a twin dream and because he had fought to live, not only did Josie live, but a baby from his body would come in the future. Only now, Jess was adding to that equation, should Josie and Slim marry, their children, indeed Slim's chance for his own future generations, would also be that future baby that came from his body and not just his own children. It was stunning Jess as to just how far reaching and deeply impacting his struggle to live through those injuries had become. It had revealed his own twin, brought her medical struggle to an end, now reaching into not only his own children's future, but Slim's, too. He had Josie pulling on his arm on one side and he was staring across the field into Slim's face with startling realizations. Slim put down the shovel he was using to settle in a replacement fence post and began slowly walking toward Jess, drawn to him like a magnet. Jess was frozen holding onto the boulder with his free hand not sure he could get his legs to make it back across the valley.
"Tell me, Jess! Don't shut me out. I need….." She pleaded while tugging on his hand.
Jess' face was so full of a whole mess of emotions he didn't begin to know how to express, and he turned and backed up into the boulder and pulled her in for another tight hug.
"Shh…shh. It's all good, Josie. So happy for you."
Was about all he could get out. She peeped again at his grab and snuggled back in putting her arms around his waist and her head sideways on his chest under his chin. Slim arrived softly and patted Jess on the shoulders.
"You two making it through the memory ok out here?
Jess released his hug and sniffed. Josie stepped back and smiled at Slim,
"Ya, neither one of us remember this. But it's sure a sweet, peaceful place of discovery."
"That so?"
Slim was relieved and smiled still checking out Jess' face which was peaceful, but Slim's curiosity was driving him nuts.
"Remember that twin dream, Slim?" Jess asked looking at Josie who was now back to holding onto his hand with both of hers and her curiosity began climbing and she studied Jess as he talked.
"The one from the Denver trip. Ya."
"King didn't have all the information right."
"I'm listening."
"He said she couldn't have more kids, but he didn't know that was because of the blood infection that would transfer to the baby and likely cause a failed birth. Josie said her doctors tell her with her blood back to normal, she can have more kids now without that risk. It's not that the ability isn't there, it was because of the infection."
Slim's forehead elevated and he started to become dazed. He had fallen in love with Josie knowing she couldn't have more children which was concerning and disappointing, but not something that would stop his love for her. Now the ball game was changing.
"So she can have more kids…"
It was neither a question nor a statement, but a realization trying to make it through Slim's brain.
"Ya! And all because of the blood that came from Jess' body!" Josie happily proclaimed and she giggled.
Slim was adding in his head, but it was still a little foggy from being near Josie physically,
"So the dream was true. It was telling you that you and Josie were twins and …
"I had to push beyond my exhaustion and live so life could come from my body in the future."
"Ya, your blood donations fixing her infection and keeping her alive." Slim was working on it but it was a long equation and Josie was wearing perfume.
Jess began leading the witness as true as a practiced attorney,
"So that future babies …" he was motioning Slim to keep following his thoughts…
"…could be born?" Slim was almost there, still thinking the dream's interpretation was meaning to be Jess' future kids.
Jess smiled and pointed at Josie waiting patiently for the dawn to come up on Slim's horizon.
"Josie's future babies." Slim landed but dawn hadn't broken.
Jess grabbed Josie's hand and pulled his other one free and patted Slim over the heart and turned to head to the house tried to help him.
"She's gunna need a husband, pard….who'll make a terrific father."
He paused and stuck his head back peering into Slim's face just as the bottom line summed in Slim's heart.
Slim mumbled quietly to himself, not really outloud, "Her husband? You mean…." He pointed to himself still mumbling it,
"Jess had to live so his blood could fix Josie's blood and save her life and make it possible for her to have babies…. I ain't gunna let any other fella gunna get near her but me…."
His forehead went up and a huge smile lit him up from inside. He was back on the map to be able to have kids, too! Jess and Josie were about 6 paces in front of him headed for the house and he turned on a smart about face and took two giant steps reaching them and fell into step with them. He whacked Jess on the back so hard that Jess coughed and had to stagger a step to keep balanced and on his feet and they smiled at each other without needing to talk about their secret talk that morning before breakfast giving Slim approval to pursue Josie.
Jess nudged Josie's elbow with his and pointed at Slim, "See 'er, Jos. Sometimes his long legs can't keep up with us shorter folk." He teased.
"Ya, well, we'll just see who can keep up with who!" Slim tossed back.
Jess held up his arm on the side Slim was walking as a guard protecting Josie.
"Down, boy! I just got her back. There's plenty time." Jess tried to ease Slim back off the spurs a tad.
Josie scrunched her nose wrinkling it like a bunny and peered back at the two of them,
"Did I miss part of this conversation? What dream?"
Slim and Jess exchanged another knowing grin and Jess changed the subject to keep from answering.
"We have to get you back amongst the living, so's you can pursue the life ahead of you."
"You mean what I did to Johnny?"
"Yep."
"What do I do?"
"Make it right, Sis. You're gunna have to face him….but I'll be with you every step."
They were at the gate Jess had headed them to and he was preparing to unlatch it so she could walk through, but she dropped her grasp of his hand and ducked through the horizontal poles without hesitation or thought and dragging her dress through it more like a tomboy than a lady and had to turn and wait for the two men to catch up. They looked at each other and chuckled, then side by side swung their legs over the top rail, and Slim grabbed the shovel as he landed and they headed for the house.
Jess wired ahead and set up a meeting with John King for 2 days later asking to meet at the hotel he'd stayed at with Slim on their previous business. His purpose for the meeting outside the law office was for privacy until they could determine which way the weird bird would jump and what needed to be done legally. He also wanted to remove King from his home turf and safety zone by controlling the ground for the "gunfight" should one erupt.
Rather than drive the buggy, in her nervous jitters, Josie wanted to ride her Morgan whom she'd named Scout and Jess rode Traveler and they talked horses all the way to Denver. Scout was a 3 year old Morgan gelding standing 14.1 hands that was a deep chestnut with a flaxen mane and tail who was trained for pleasure riding, dressage and harness and Josie knew how to catch, saddle and ride quite well. Jess checked out the cinch on her saddle before he'd allow her to mount which she thought was really sweet and had kissed his cheek in return. Several times on the trip, they'd change pace even raced for a mile where the road was good, letting the horses stretch out a bit. It was, of course, a dead even heat and they pulled up at the same time laughing their heads off. Both horses had a sweet collected trot that is an easy ride and Traveler and Scout seemed to pair up nicely.
The attorney was not told Josie was coming, believing Jess had follow up questions or wanted to arrange retrieving the contents of the safe deposit box. Jess had arranged for adjoining rooms over protest by Josie who wanted to sleep in his room but he insisted it for appearance purposes and he wanted her tucked in the other room to meet with King first. Both were dressed in business attire and Jess was packing his .45 under the jacket on his hip. Josie was snugged up behind the adjoining door which was just barely ajar so she could listen. Jess opened the door at the knock and extended his hand for a shake where he took the hand and then also put his left hand on King's elbow. His shake was met comfortably.
"Mr. King, thank you for coming and agreeing to meet in "my office"."
Jess waved at the room and smiled. They walked to the room's table and Jess gestured him to a chair and they sat down.
"Pleasure is mine, Mr. Harper. You're looking a lot better. Glad to see you're mended up. I trust things are going well."
"Things are going better than I could have hoped but I have a few loose ends and I need the help of someone who gave me his word I could trust."
"Of course. What can I do?
"First you can call me Jess. I'd like to get away from all the formalities and realize your time is important. I also appreciated how well you handled our last meeting and hope to return the courtesy."
"Thank you, Jess. Please call me John." He smiled and then added, "You look so much like her. Are you ready for the contents of the safe deposit box?"
"No, that will continue to ride for now. John, on the way out of Denver after leaving your office, Slim and I stopped at the medical facility Josie had been treated at and in her memory we both donated blood in the hopes they could use it for research and eventually find a cure for other patients with her condition."
"That's admirable."
"About a week later they contacted me stating that my blood had been found to contain what they call "components" that were proving helpful to a patient they had under a research program that had Josie's condition and asked if I could provide more blood."
"How fascinating. Too bad it wasn't in time for…."
Jess was in control of this poker game and cut the attorney's probing statement off. "
Since we met last, I returned to Denver for a total of 3 donations they wanted to do at an accelerated pace because the treatment was going so well, in fact, their research project went so well, by the 3rd transfusion the patient was cured."
"I remember your second question, could a blood match have cured her condition."
"It was a gut feeling I had while in your office based on what I had felt when I was in her presence during the stage attack. I had to try something in honor of her as my twin."
"I believe you saw in the file where she had set up a trust fund for the research center. Do they need more money?"
"I don't have any idea. Other than their staff taking the blood, I had no contact with anyone else. I have had contact with the patient who contacted me after being released by the hospital asking my help to settle some things and set things right regarding how this treatment event was handled. This person explained to me how her condition had weakened her to a point of desperation and despair and neither of us had expected such a great result and she asked my help in making things right. That is where I need your advice and help."
"I see. Well I'm always happy to help where ever I can."
"John, I understand you told Slim on the way out of your office that you would have enjoyed seeing Josie and me together. Did you mean that?"
"Oh absolutely. I would have loved nothing more. I loved Josie like a daughter I never had, and you intrigued me as being so much like her."
In his body Jess could feel Josie's excitement and trepidation a few feet away behind the door knowing she was having difficulty staying hid, so he stood up and pointed his hand toward the door behind John just in the nick of time as Josie slid into the room. Jess said,
"Perhaps I can help make your dream come true as well."
John swiveled his head around to look behind him and for an attorney, he didn't handle surprise very well. He stumbled trying to stand up from the chair and started stammering as his emotions welled up inside him.
"Jo…Josilee! You are alive!"
He managed to get levelled out on his feet and opened his arms inviting her for a hug and she accepted. It was a friendly, professional hug barely cheek to cheek with no body contact and Jess judged it to be real. King pulled back and took a full body look checking her out.
"You look ….. so well!"
"I AM well, Johnny. Jess' blood made all the difference and I have SO much to tell you and beg your forgiveness for what I've done. I was just so desperate and sick… I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't take anymore! And the doctors told me they had nothing more they could do but make my last days comfortable."
"There, there, dear. It's ok. The important things is that you're alive and well! Paperwork can always be fixed."
"When they released me from the experiment I didn't know what to do but find Jess and he told me I had to make things right and I wanted to, just didn't know how. Since he's the head of our family now and calls the shots, he told me we do things right and straight on. So here we are."
"Well, he's right about that."
"What do I need to do, Johnny? How much trouble am I in legally?"
Jess interrupted, "Why don't we all …" he held a chair for Josie and she sat down and King sat back in his chair and folded his hands in a steeple with his elbows on the table and his lips touching the tip of the steeple. Jess' chin raised slightly and he read King knew something and was holding out.
"How did you know, John?" Jess asked.
John's eyebrows went up. "What makes you think I know anything?"
Answering a question with a question is an old weird bird tactic and not that Jess had known that many weird birds, but he had played poker a time or two and been in a few gunfights. You survive by knowing how to read the other person.
"I asked you once if you were an honest attorney. How are you sleeping these days?" Jess volleyed.
"My sleep has been better, Jess. Denver has its underground of information and it's difficult sometimes keeping secrets buried. For a third generation Denverite, I have a few connections."
"I'm listening, but I'd hoped to make the best use of your time, John."
Jess was applying a few more ounces of pressure to the reins he was holding in this meeting and wanted John to cut to the chase and not waste their time, either.
"I heard a few grumblings about 3 weeks ago, someone thought they saw Josie buy a Morgan horse at a stable she was fond of and at first I didn't believe it. So I went to the hospital and asked a few follow up questions and got a round-around, certain people were in surgery and not available, you know, the like. It convinced me that I'd been misinformed and she was truly still alive."
Josie's face was turning very pale in surprise.
John continued, "If she were indeed still alive, then opening her will and all those sealed documents puts my license at risk so I began doing research on potential problems. Denver County doesn't issue death certificates, yet. It's in the legislature to begin doing that in the short run. But the hospital did issue a certified statement of her passing and cremation which is required in order to open the will and business transactions were done liquidating and estate based on that written document. I sat down with a judge who is not only a long time family friend, but a trusted colleague and we discussed the matter over lunch. He told me that if I could produce a notarized affidavit stating the history of the matter, including a written statement from the hospital that they had falsified a medical record, he would sign a petition granting a recension of the death announcement the hospital signed as proof of her death. He further stated once that was done he would speak with the Colorado Bar Association on my behalf as having operated in good faith of the medical practice by opening Josie's will then ahead of her true death. Hopefully, the Bar will take into consideration the long time exemplary record of my career and my father's before me and allow me to maintain my license in good standing."
"You can do all that?" Jess asked.
"There are conditions, Josie…and Jess." He continued looking back and forth at both.
"Yes, Sir." Josie was leaning forward eating every word in willingness.
"You had to come forward on a voluntary basis, you had to do so within 6 months of the presumptive death to rectify the false filing and assist in getting all the paperwork prepared and filed. That means you have to obtain the affidavit from the hospital and write your own affidavit explaining what you did and why – based on the overwhelming stress of the illness. And, since I'm involved I had to recuse myself from filing the case, so you'll have to pay for the new attorney fees and for all expenses. Based on your actions, willingness and honesty, and based on the documents submitted, the judge will take into consideration the matter and decide if there will be a penalty either in a sentence, fine or other remedial action which could include jail time or in lieu, community service. You will have to go before the judge in a hearing once all the materials are ready."
"You've already done quite a bit of work on this, John. Why?" Jess asked.
"You mean aside from being betrayed by a long- time family friend and someone I loved dearly?" King's attitude was taking a downhill plunge, his voice had a twinge of sarcasm.
Another question answer but Jess was not going to push an already offered peace branch even if it were offered stiffly. "Yes, Sir."
"Because my license is at risk, my livelihood and food on the table for my children is at risk, plus my reputation, integrity and honor. You asked about my integrity, Jess. You're seeing it in action now as I try to protect it. Beyond that, and clearing this matter, I will not be available to represent Josie or any relative of hers from here forward." John was getting very cold.
"Have you personally ever suffered from a terminal illness or life-threatening injury? Not someone you know, you personally?" Jess asked in a neutral tone still leaning back in his chair. He read the table and knew the cards about to be put down.
"No, I haven't." was tinged with a whiff of society snobbery.
"Has someone ever stuck a gun in your gut and threatened to pull the trigger?"
"No. I don't visit those sorts of places, thank you very much. What's your point?
"Life looks at you different when you face the moment of death, John. Your brain doesn't function like it does on any other normal day."
"And I suppose you are an expert on facing death? What, you're not even 30 years old."
A deep shadow crossed Jess' face that gave Josie the shivers and she leaned back away from the table deeper into her chair. Jess leaned forward in his chair and put the edge of his hand on the edge of the table in a straight gunfight stare two and a half feet from John's nose and his voice dropped another half octave deeper.
"I wasn't just 15 years old when that gang murdered my family and set the house on fire. It took less than two minutes as my dad dropped a few feet in front of me of at least a dozen rounds of rifle fire. My mother, baby sister and I caught fire as we ran from the house and she and the baby were riddled with gunfire and burned to death at the foot of the tree she shoved me up into."
Jess stood slowly and deliberately in one smooth movement and glided his .45 from its holster under his suit jacket and in respected control firmly planted it side down on the table between them with the muzzle pointed between King's right shoulder and the door behind him. The gun was barely one foot in front of the attorney's heart and putting it on the table shifted the table ever so imperceptivity and John startled in his chair. Still as cold as steel not missing one heartbeat Jess continued without loss of eye contact, his blue eyes now lit with fire from within,
"This is the 'affidavit' that has rectified many attempts to send me to hell's address, John, and I had to file it in a matter of seconds, not days or weeks or even 6 months. I haven't had time to research hell's address, either,.." his voice dropped even lower… "but I have seen death."
He leaned ever so slightly across the table with his upper body.
"Life is not a stack of cold papers containing a jumble of fancy words written in black and white based out of a cozy book from some library of law reference manuals. When you can't see any hope or reason to live, your mind does desperate things trying to find one tiny scrap of evidence that makes any sense. Until you have seen death stare you in the face, it would be wise of you to not pass judgment on those that have. It would make you a more qualified advocate."
The attorney was wide eyed by now having met, faced and been outplayed by a better officer of the truth who not only owned that truth, but handled it with control and respect. With one silken movement Jess' right hand knowingly crossed over the gun with a light caress and the gun adhered to it as though a magnetized part of the flesh of his hand and became one with it seeming to breathe on its own when in contact with his hand. He twirled it once allowing the top edge of the holster to collect the tip of the handgun's muzzle tucking it neatly into the sleeve in one greased movement without one sound or without dropping it and locked it down. Josie's eyebrows went up and King's eyes got even bigger and his mouth sagged open unable to gather enough thoughts to form a sentence.
"You'll have your paperwork within the week and I'll contact your office for another meeting. This one is finished."
With unwavering eye contact full of sadness, Jess held his left hand toward the door inviting King to leave and the attorney stood slowly and respectfully. He thought about offering a hand shake, but looked at Jess' hip where the coat was hiding his affidavit and decided not to offer and walked to the door, turning to take one last look at Jess' face seeing a 3rd dimension he'd never seen anywhere and then he left softly. Jess was three feet behind him and closed the door and put his forehead against it sagging in sadness from the expended energy.
Josie softly stood and came up behind Jess and wrapped her arms around his waist and laid the side of her head in the small of his back. After a few moments Jess had re-corralled that inner energy that pushes into a fight and the adrenaline that supports it lifted. He turned within her hold and wrapped his arms around her shoulders then kissed the top of her head. She sniffed several times trying to hold back tears and Jess backed up enough to place his fingers under her chin and lift it and her eyes looked in his face.
"Don't" He cooed.
"Bbut….I really messed up." Was followed by another sniff and she lifted her chin from his hand and replanted it on his chest.
"Well, at least you're human like the rest of us, Jose." Jess looked over her head out the window on the other side of the room.
"Were you really that close when they died?"
"We're quite a pair, Baby Girl. You had a rich, sheltered, controlled life and mine's been raw and wild open. Between the two of us there must be one whole, completely balanced human."
"What am I going to do?"
"Take responsibility for what you did, give your reasons and take the consequences. Then tomorrow you …take responsibility for what you did, give your reasons and take the consequences. It's call adulthood. It afflicts all of us and there IS no cure for it. You just try to learn from the mistakes and make every effort to not repeat them. All you can do is all you can do."
"How did you get so wise? I'm so dumb."
"You just haven't been exposed to as much crap life hands you, but it'll catch up fast enough. You think you can get a written statement from your friends at the medical center?"
"Pretty sure. They want to publish their findings on the success of the experimental research I went through and I haven't released them yet. Should make a fair exchange. You're pretty snazzy with your 'affidavit' there." Her hand started to slip from his back down to his hip and he dropped his hold on her and moved out of range.
"It's a tool, Josie. No better or worse than the one holding it. Remember that." The shadow of sadness crossed Jess' face again and he refused eye contact.
"Have you killed many men?" She looked open faced in curiosity at him. Jess looked sadly at her for a moment or two then turned and picked his hat up.
"We missed lunch…good restaurant on the first floor. Are you hungry?"
"Ya, I am a little woozy." His distraction succeeded.
Jess took her downstairs and she ate a good meal while Jess picked at his. They visited the medical center afterward and was able to obtain a written affidavit from them in exchange for Josie's permission to publish the research using a fake name. They found an attorney from another acquaintance Josie's adoptive parents had who helped Josie get her version of what happened written down through a secretary taking her dictation. The papers were turned over to John King's office and the hearing was accomplished all within the week Jess had promised. The judge was understanding but not happy and gave Josie a sentence of one month public service in an orphanage which she thoroughly enjoyed and she camped out with an old girlfriend for the month while Jess returned to the ranch.
She arrived back at the Sherman Ranch as scheduled riding Scout and they had another nice celebratory supper of roasted turkey Mike had shot the day before and after supper and Mike being sent to bed, the adults gathered around the fireplace. Josie was close to Jess but not as clingy and he was warm also, but not as desperate for full contact hugs. Josie lingered patiently waiting for Daisy to pull the plug and she went to bed and after the bedroom door closed she sat forward with Jess beside her on the couch leaning into the corner and Slim was in the rocker facing the fireplace where he could study her and memorize every millimeter of her being.
"What's on your mind, Josie? Something happen in Denver?" Jess asked.
"I've been working this over in my mind for a couple weeks and don't quite know how to start. I guess just jump in with both feet."
"Always works for me." Slim encouraged with a soft smile.
"I think I've figured it out by now you both know how much I'm interested in getting to know Slim and exploring the future potential with him. As close as you both are, certainly you've talked about me." She looked at both of them but they were both just listening. "I want you both to know what I'm about to say so there's no secrets and talking together like this everyone gets the same information." She leaned forward with her elbows on her knees, her hands fiddling with her fingertips and looking both at them and Slim's face back and forth, she addressed them "As much as I've messed things up in the last several months, and my life has constantly changed in severe ways during the last 5-6 years, I've done a lot of thinking the last month while I was in Denver. I decided Jess was right. I need to find myself for who I am so that I can go forward in life. My entire life has been orchestrated and directed by people who controlled everything and made all my decisions while sheltering me from the real world and that's why I messed up so badly when they all disappeared for one reason or another. He also told me to learn from my mistakes and not repeat them. Slim, Jess knows I'm … in love with you and he advised me to get my world in order and get my head together so that I can come into any new relationships as a whole person. I want to marry a man I truly love and admire, who I can bear his children and raise them the way he wants with whatever education and talents I can add. My girlfriend in Denver got a little peeved with me because while I was there all I could think about was you, Slim, and those moments we shared. They were so powerful I didn't want to stop and that wouldn't be right or proper until the rest of me could be there as well, so I've tried to hold some distance. Not because of you, it was because of me. It would be so easy for me to just fall into your arms and never want to leave and I'd like to hold that as a future plan. If you'll be patient with me just a little while longer, I need to finish putting myself together and that includes discovering my freedom, who I am as a person on my own feet making my own deecisions and mistakes and paying my own consequences. I've never lived or traveled outside Denver except for the trip to Utah through here and there are some places I'd like to visit and get it out of my system before I settle down to being a wife and mother. I've got some of the trust fund money left and can support myself for this, but I want to meet people who are not society snobs, real people in real lives and find out just why I'm on this planet. Do you think ….would you mind too terribly…I mean..can you find it in your heart to hold your heart open and wait for me? If you can't, I fully understand and no hard feelings. I'm opening my soul to you both in truth, please be truthful with me."
"How much time do you think this will take?" Jess asked for Slim.
"I'm not real sure, Jess. You were on the drift, you say, for about 5 years."
"But, it's different, Josie, you're not a man. It's a nasty world out there and very hard on your own, not really right or safe for a woman alone."
"I understand that and I'm definitely not interested in any extended safari. I love a home life, waking up every morning in the same bed in the arms of a man I love and fight that urge to settle in to the same routine everyday…like I thought would happen with Ben. But then …well that lasted 3 days. I'm thinking more along the lines of 6 months to a year. Probably not that long, not sure I'd even like travelling and I don't plan on going to nasty places and will stay in populated travel areas. There's enough money to do that and I won't carry lots of cash because I can wire money from the fund as I go. Is that too long to be "on the drift"?"
"I don't like you going alone, Josie." Jess sat forward leaning on his elbow.
"Me either. We could always take a long honeymoon and travel." Slim offered bravely.
"I thought of that, too, but then I'd be committed by then and I really need to find out who Josie Harper is, as a person. What deecisions can she make on her feet and will they be the right ones? What can she due under stress other than fall apart in the arms of a twin she doesn't know?
There is another reason, too."
"Is?" Jess asked.
"I want to make sure my body is completely mended and not going to relapse. I want to go forward sure of who I am and as whole as I can be so that I can give 100 percent of myself to those whom I love and cherish. Is that too much to ask?"
Slim leaned forward, "I don't think so, Josie. It sounds like a lot of wisdom to me."
"You don't mind waiting?
"I've lived with your twin for over 4 years, Josie. I would expect to hear some of the things you're saying because you two are so much alike. I think if Jess hadn't been dumped out on his own at 15, he'd be saying the same things you are right now. I drifted after the war was over. It's something everyone has to discover for themselves. Best you get it out of your system before all the responsibilities of life fence you in and tie you down. Once you're a wife and mother, always a wife and mother. Parenthood doesn't stop when a child leaves home as an adult. With the railroads coming in the stage business isn't going to last much longer and this will give me the time to get the ranch switched over to another, hopefully more profitable, enterprise. What do you think, Jess?"
"She sounds like Andy when I first got here, begging me to take him on the drift. It is something seems part of the Harper gene pool, even Francie's done her share of drifting. Best to scratch an itch than let it pus over. But I want to teach you how to shoot and defend yourself person to person before you take out. Things a woman can do to defend herself from aggressive men, what to look for before walking into places and crowds. Doubt society taught you those things. You going on Scout and your buggy?"
"I'd like to use public transportation, that way I don't have to worry about livery services. I'll pay to board him here if you have the space and would be grateful you don't let him go barn sour and lazy."
"Him and your buggy will be safe and welcome here, no charge. He's a beautiful animal." Slim reassured her. "I'm sure Mike can keep him limber, be a good responsibility for him."
"I'll take care of Scout. Give Traveler a day or two off." Jess decided over their offers. "And I want you to wire me everywhere you go so's I know you're safe. Be best if you can transfer your trust to Laramie. I can wire your money so nobody else is tempted with it."
"What did you do with the money from my estate?" Josie just remembered it.
"It's in a safe deposit box me and Slim control. Since you're not deeceased, you expect it back?"
"No. I gave it to you, I intend for you to have it, just figured you'd spend it."
"There will be a place for it in the future. Deecide then." Jess was studying the floor. "When are you planning on taking off?"
"How fast can you teach me to shoot? I'd like to start tomorrow so I can get back faster."
"She can have that .38 I carried to Denver. It'd fit a purse, Jess."
"We'll shoot in the morning, then."
"I'm obliged for your understanding and patience. I am tired, I should get to bed. See you in the morning, then." She turned and kissed Jess on the cheek and he returned it. Then she stood and Slim stood and they gave each other a peck on the lips and she went to the bedroom and closed the door. Slim started blowing out lamps and settled the fireplace for the night and they headed to bed.
"You really don't want her to go, do you?" Slim asked as they sat on their beds and began pulling boots off.
"She's a grown woman, I can't make her do anything. Got a right to live her own life and make her own discoveries. Best she get it out of her system. Don't want her around if she don't want to be here."
"What are you going to do with the money in Denver?" Slim was curious.
"It'll be a wedding present when she gets back." Jess was lost and turning inward and Slim saw a brief glimpse of that aloneness shadow.
"You think she'll come back, or find something she likes better out there?"
"She'll be back and she'll be ready."
"How long?"
"About where she had it … at least 6 months but before a year."
"You're sure?"
"Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence…but then you discover the fence ain't there, it's not so tasty trying to munch and watch for bears." Jess pulled the covers up and turned facing away and Slim lowered the wick on the lamp.
"Nite, Jess."
"Nite, Slim."
.
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