Accusation
It's when his brother gets mad at him that it hurts the most. When that face, the one he's been told he looks exactly like, those eyes, the same shade of brown as Kurt's, he's noticed, that mouth, which almost never utters a kind comment, scream at him. Whether it's something he's really done, or just a false accusation – it hurts.
You'd think Kurt's opinions would be the ones that mattered most. Even Blaine thought so, until Cooper came home. Until Cooper moved back in. It was as if everything went back to the old days – the never-ending yelling, the anger, the arguments, the remarks that branded themselves into Blaine's brain, not letting go, making him relive those words over and over as he lay in bed at night, wishing that sleep would just come already.
When it was something he'd actually done, he'd take the yelling silently. He'd let his older brother take out his frustration on him, in hopes that it would make Cooper feel better later, and maybe lay off him for a bit. He'd let Cooper insult him and everything he was. He'd let Cooper strip him to the core with the hateful words he'd spit out at him from across the room.
When it was something he hadn't done, and the accusations were false and empty, it was harder to stay quiet. When he couldn't take it anymore, he'd speak up, and that only made it worse. Cooper would cross the room, stand right next to him and stare down, making Blaine have to look up which only made him feel ever smaller and more worthless. Sometimes he'd even grab Blaine by the arm, or if he was really angry, he'd reach right out and grab the collar of his shirt in his fist. At this point he'd probably take a break to insert some snide remark about Blaine's bowtie – which he declared was stupid and ridiculous. He'd make sure to remind Blaine of these statements whenever possible. One time, during a really bad fight, he had even reached right out and torn the bowtie off of his neck, ruining it and leaving dark red welts on Blaine's neck that took weeks to heal.
His parents did nothing – especially his dad. When Blaine would finally have the guts to complain his dad would tell him to "grow a pair", silencing his mom, who stood in the corner, a protest in deference of Blaine already on her lips.
He had nowhere to turn to. He didn't want to share his problems with Kurt. He was scared Kurt would tell his father. Burt would intervene and Blaine would be responsible for breaking up the Andersons – the famous Andersons. The ones who had the two perfect children, the actor and the singer. The family that always kept their lawn mowed and had the best Christmas decorations in all of Lima. On some nights it was easier. He'd be tired enough to fall asleep relatively quickly. But on some nights he'd close his eyes and wait for sleep but it just wouldn't come. It was on those nights that his last thoughts were some sort of prayer, even though he didn't believe in God, a prayer not to wake up. Because sometimes he wasn't sure if he could take it anymore, if he could live through another one of these assaults.