/Warning: Shounen-ai is Japanese for "get your evil Mary-Sue ass out of my
face".
/Disclaimer: Disclaimer is English for "spoilsport".
/Note: Cameos by Inuyasha characters and future crossover with Yuu Yuu Hakusho. Filled with the pretty.
A Reason to Laugh
by Courtney Bryan
'Prologue'
Yesterday's announcements had forewarned any student planning to wear a short skirt similar to those worn last year on Valentine's that she would be sent home. Malik breezed into Blackwater Academy Friday morning in a short skirt and a soccer jersey.
No one put on a curious or stunned face, because no one could be bothered. Their overzealous soccer captain could loathe Valentine's Day to whatever extent his gorgeous little heart could take, so long as he acted out his desperate measures alone. Then again, only Malik would cross-dress to escape school and the inevitable confrontation to take place in second period alchemy.
Unfortunately for Malik, it would take more than his sister's low-riding skirt to charm Fate to his side and before the first bell could thunder to life, he gagged on a sudden tension around his neck.
"You'll not speak to me in public until you've dressed like a proper metrosexual."
Malik pulled his collar from *Ryuuji's fist and delivered a particularly smug grin to match the older boy's glower. "Metrosexuals are straight."
Ryuuji's mouth thinned in annoyance as he swept another glance over Malik's outfit. "Yes, and right now the straight boys are the only boys you'll have after you looking like that and won't Ryou be happy with those results. I'd like to think I speak for every one of our kind when I tell you that you have passed 'gay' and skipped merrily onto 'stereotype'."
As first bell tinnily pealed, passerby **Atemu Motou quipped, "Yes, and the skirt is so loud we could use it instead of the bell for changing classes."
Malik shouted an Arabic slur at him, which Atemu threw back in Egyptian.
"Bloody scorpion demon."
Meanwhile, Ryuuji had turned to his locker for guidance, rooting through the immaculate mess nose-first.
"What are you doing?"
"Saving homosexuality's image from you."
Malik sighed and leaned against the wall of lockers, ignoring the bright smiles and titters from his female classmates.
While he searched, Ryuuji continued his lecture, "I know what possessed you to do this and it's not going to work while I'm here to beat sense back into that pretty head of yours. You're going to talk to Ryou before this day is out, you stubborn jackass, even if I have to lock you two on the roof again."
"This time he'd jump before he'd talk to me."
Ryuuji glimpsed over his shoulder flatly. "Right now the boy won't be able to tell his writing hand from his broken one until you're there to hold the broken one."
"And whose fault is it that his hand is broken?" snorted Malik. But the poison in his voice was faded and Ryuuji triumphantly resumed his quest.
"Mm! Perfect." He threw a pair of cargo pants at Malik's drifting attention span and successfully speared the bubble. "Wear those until lunch. Then please go back to the dorms and get something less desperate."
Second bell shrilled and Ryuuji steered a grumbling Malik to the boys' restroom. With a parting good-intentioned threat to either change into the pants or suffer girls trying to look up his skirt, Ryuuji strolled off to one of his history of Makai courses.
Malik stared down at his hands and thumbed the cloth's texture forlornly. Ryou's clothes were never this coarse.
A change of attire and a trip to the dining hall later found Malik in the back row of his study hall munching on chips and lazily skimming manga. When he finished the manga, he focused in on the snacks and reluctantly loosened his vicelike hold on his mind. Unbidden, Ryou's name came to the front of his thoughts, leaving everything else, noise, classmates and snack a hazy watermark in the background. Ryou. Subtly sarcastic, beautiful Ryou. The token Untouchable of the school - the boy everybody wanted, but nobody could have.
"Someone looks constipated."
Reality melted around Malik's brooding and teased his temper shorter. Jounouchi dropped into the desk before him, arms propped on the chair's back casually. His grin was nothing if not infuriatingly knowing.
Malik's ears flattened and vanished beneath his hair. Last thing he wanted was a vampire telling him he was cold-blooded.
Jounouchi noted the reaction with a less offensive smile. "Figure out what happened yet?" he asked.
Malik shrugged. "Demon instincts. What else?"
"Do you think Inuyasha's still mad?"
"I tried to snap his best friend's wrist and ended up breaking his younger brother's hand - why would he be anything but pleased with me?" Malik dropped his chin into his palm with an annoyed grunt. "You should have seen the way Ryou looked at me."
Jounouchi took pity on the younger boy and ruffled deft fingertips through the blond hair. Malik began to growl menacingly until he felt blunt fingernails kneading the bases of his ears. Sighing, he dropped his eyes to the floor.
"He hates me."
Jounouchi looked behind him and surveyed the room for unwanted attention. Brooding sphinxes weren't the most accommodating demons when strangers got involved with their issues. Jounouchi continued to scratch the lion's ears until he could see the taut muscles in Malik's shoulders beginning to loosen.
Then he tried again. "Ryou doesn't hate you. His kind heal quickly."
Malik's sandy tail thrashed in a new brand of "pissed". "It's not the hand I'm worried about. He's not going to forgive me this time."
Jounouchi rolled his eyes and flicked an ear, ignoring the subsequent snarl. "Oh, tone down the melodrama. Ryou's the least of your worries. You should be more worried about Inuyasha and Miroku." Another thought. "Or the soccer team's fund-raiser at lunch."
"Or the tuition my father won't send me for next semester."
Jounouchi's eyebrow lifted. "That's new."
Malik grunted and swatted Jounouchi's stilled hand from his hair. "I'm taking care of it."
"Legally?"
Malik flashed a deviant smile. "Be innocent of the knowledge," he snickered.
"Stop reading Shakespeare. It's making you smart."
The bell cut off Jounouchi's good-intentioned objections. As the classroom started to empty, Malik offered Jounouchi a tilted eyebrow in unspoken challenge.
Jounouchi threw up his arms and shook his head fondly. "Just don't break any treaties. Seto won't bail you out again."
Malik smirked. "I won't get caught if I do." He threw his backpack over his shoulder and shot a suddenly dark look at the door.
A hand closed around his shoulder. "Hey, it's just Ryou, ne? Inuyasha won't be looking for you until lunch and Ryou'll probably have forgiven you by then."
Malik sighed and flipped a doubtful glance at Jounouchi. "I guess." Surrendering to Fate's will, he started walking for the door.
"Hey, captain!"
Malik paused in the doorway and glimpsed a confident smile on Jounouchi's lips. "Just remember that if the world didn't suck," Malik raised an eyebrow, "...we'd all fall off."
Rolling his eyes but somehow feeling lighter, Malik pushed into the hallway's traffic. A few eyewitnesses from yesterday's brawl eyed him curiously and avoided touching him as they passed by. Malik growled under his breath. Even demon teenagers were prone to stupidity.
WHAM.
"KISAMA!"
"Yeah, well, your ass was in my poster's way. Diet and get back to me - hey, Malik!"
Malik paused amid the stream of students and waited for the body belonging to the cackling voice to emerge. He spotted the hair first - white - then the poster - also white - and then Bakura's manically grinning face - not so white.
"Atemu and I are setting up the stand for the fund-raiser, coming with or not?"
Malik shook his head.
"Ah, right. Apples in Eden." Bakura smirked. "Well, I'll leave you to your melodrama, Adam. Didn't I tell you to clear a path?!"
Before Malik took another step, the poster's slogan ran back and slapped him upside the head.
"BAKURA!"
But the stream of shrill laughter continued and Malik sweatdropped, wondering if the dean would have a problem with the soccer team offering themselves as "Orgasm Donors".
-TBC-
*Ryuuji is Otogi ("Duke Devlin"). **Atemu is Yami no Yuugi.
/Disclaimer: Disclaimer is English for "spoilsport".
/Note: Cameos by Inuyasha characters and future crossover with Yuu Yuu Hakusho. Filled with the pretty.
A Reason to Laugh
by Courtney Bryan
'Prologue'
Yesterday's announcements had forewarned any student planning to wear a short skirt similar to those worn last year on Valentine's that she would be sent home. Malik breezed into Blackwater Academy Friday morning in a short skirt and a soccer jersey.
No one put on a curious or stunned face, because no one could be bothered. Their overzealous soccer captain could loathe Valentine's Day to whatever extent his gorgeous little heart could take, so long as he acted out his desperate measures alone. Then again, only Malik would cross-dress to escape school and the inevitable confrontation to take place in second period alchemy.
Unfortunately for Malik, it would take more than his sister's low-riding skirt to charm Fate to his side and before the first bell could thunder to life, he gagged on a sudden tension around his neck.
"You'll not speak to me in public until you've dressed like a proper metrosexual."
Malik pulled his collar from *Ryuuji's fist and delivered a particularly smug grin to match the older boy's glower. "Metrosexuals are straight."
Ryuuji's mouth thinned in annoyance as he swept another glance over Malik's outfit. "Yes, and right now the straight boys are the only boys you'll have after you looking like that and won't Ryou be happy with those results. I'd like to think I speak for every one of our kind when I tell you that you have passed 'gay' and skipped merrily onto 'stereotype'."
As first bell tinnily pealed, passerby **Atemu Motou quipped, "Yes, and the skirt is so loud we could use it instead of the bell for changing classes."
Malik shouted an Arabic slur at him, which Atemu threw back in Egyptian.
"Bloody scorpion demon."
Meanwhile, Ryuuji had turned to his locker for guidance, rooting through the immaculate mess nose-first.
"What are you doing?"
"Saving homosexuality's image from you."
Malik sighed and leaned against the wall of lockers, ignoring the bright smiles and titters from his female classmates.
While he searched, Ryuuji continued his lecture, "I know what possessed you to do this and it's not going to work while I'm here to beat sense back into that pretty head of yours. You're going to talk to Ryou before this day is out, you stubborn jackass, even if I have to lock you two on the roof again."
"This time he'd jump before he'd talk to me."
Ryuuji glimpsed over his shoulder flatly. "Right now the boy won't be able to tell his writing hand from his broken one until you're there to hold the broken one."
"And whose fault is it that his hand is broken?" snorted Malik. But the poison in his voice was faded and Ryuuji triumphantly resumed his quest.
"Mm! Perfect." He threw a pair of cargo pants at Malik's drifting attention span and successfully speared the bubble. "Wear those until lunch. Then please go back to the dorms and get something less desperate."
Second bell shrilled and Ryuuji steered a grumbling Malik to the boys' restroom. With a parting good-intentioned threat to either change into the pants or suffer girls trying to look up his skirt, Ryuuji strolled off to one of his history of Makai courses.
Malik stared down at his hands and thumbed the cloth's texture forlornly. Ryou's clothes were never this coarse.
A change of attire and a trip to the dining hall later found Malik in the back row of his study hall munching on chips and lazily skimming manga. When he finished the manga, he focused in on the snacks and reluctantly loosened his vicelike hold on his mind. Unbidden, Ryou's name came to the front of his thoughts, leaving everything else, noise, classmates and snack a hazy watermark in the background. Ryou. Subtly sarcastic, beautiful Ryou. The token Untouchable of the school - the boy everybody wanted, but nobody could have.
"Someone looks constipated."
Reality melted around Malik's brooding and teased his temper shorter. Jounouchi dropped into the desk before him, arms propped on the chair's back casually. His grin was nothing if not infuriatingly knowing.
Malik's ears flattened and vanished beneath his hair. Last thing he wanted was a vampire telling him he was cold-blooded.
Jounouchi noted the reaction with a less offensive smile. "Figure out what happened yet?" he asked.
Malik shrugged. "Demon instincts. What else?"
"Do you think Inuyasha's still mad?"
"I tried to snap his best friend's wrist and ended up breaking his younger brother's hand - why would he be anything but pleased with me?" Malik dropped his chin into his palm with an annoyed grunt. "You should have seen the way Ryou looked at me."
Jounouchi took pity on the younger boy and ruffled deft fingertips through the blond hair. Malik began to growl menacingly until he felt blunt fingernails kneading the bases of his ears. Sighing, he dropped his eyes to the floor.
"He hates me."
Jounouchi looked behind him and surveyed the room for unwanted attention. Brooding sphinxes weren't the most accommodating demons when strangers got involved with their issues. Jounouchi continued to scratch the lion's ears until he could see the taut muscles in Malik's shoulders beginning to loosen.
Then he tried again. "Ryou doesn't hate you. His kind heal quickly."
Malik's sandy tail thrashed in a new brand of "pissed". "It's not the hand I'm worried about. He's not going to forgive me this time."
Jounouchi rolled his eyes and flicked an ear, ignoring the subsequent snarl. "Oh, tone down the melodrama. Ryou's the least of your worries. You should be more worried about Inuyasha and Miroku." Another thought. "Or the soccer team's fund-raiser at lunch."
"Or the tuition my father won't send me for next semester."
Jounouchi's eyebrow lifted. "That's new."
Malik grunted and swatted Jounouchi's stilled hand from his hair. "I'm taking care of it."
"Legally?"
Malik flashed a deviant smile. "Be innocent of the knowledge," he snickered.
"Stop reading Shakespeare. It's making you smart."
The bell cut off Jounouchi's good-intentioned objections. As the classroom started to empty, Malik offered Jounouchi a tilted eyebrow in unspoken challenge.
Jounouchi threw up his arms and shook his head fondly. "Just don't break any treaties. Seto won't bail you out again."
Malik smirked. "I won't get caught if I do." He threw his backpack over his shoulder and shot a suddenly dark look at the door.
A hand closed around his shoulder. "Hey, it's just Ryou, ne? Inuyasha won't be looking for you until lunch and Ryou'll probably have forgiven you by then."
Malik sighed and flipped a doubtful glance at Jounouchi. "I guess." Surrendering to Fate's will, he started walking for the door.
"Hey, captain!"
Malik paused in the doorway and glimpsed a confident smile on Jounouchi's lips. "Just remember that if the world didn't suck," Malik raised an eyebrow, "...we'd all fall off."
Rolling his eyes but somehow feeling lighter, Malik pushed into the hallway's traffic. A few eyewitnesses from yesterday's brawl eyed him curiously and avoided touching him as they passed by. Malik growled under his breath. Even demon teenagers were prone to stupidity.
WHAM.
"KISAMA!"
"Yeah, well, your ass was in my poster's way. Diet and get back to me - hey, Malik!"
Malik paused amid the stream of students and waited for the body belonging to the cackling voice to emerge. He spotted the hair first - white - then the poster - also white - and then Bakura's manically grinning face - not so white.
"Atemu and I are setting up the stand for the fund-raiser, coming with or not?"
Malik shook his head.
"Ah, right. Apples in Eden." Bakura smirked. "Well, I'll leave you to your melodrama, Adam. Didn't I tell you to clear a path?!"
Before Malik took another step, the poster's slogan ran back and slapped him upside the head.
"BAKURA!"
But the stream of shrill laughter continued and Malik sweatdropped, wondering if the dean would have a problem with the soccer team offering themselves as "Orgasm Donors".
-TBC-
*Ryuuji is Otogi ("Duke Devlin"). **Atemu is Yami no Yuugi.