As Rue lay on the ground, going through pain, Katniss held her hand. She knew thTat the pain must have been unbearable. Rue looked up at her. Her eyes were like pools of crapholes covered in posters of Justin Bieber. They were gay, apparently. And it turns out Rue was gay, because as Rue lay in her final hour, she grabbed Katniss' boob and began to rub it. Rue asked if she lay on top of her, Katniss said no.
"Katniss…" Rue said, looking at her eyes, "can I tell you something?" She looked so helpless. "As soon as you get your hand off of my tit." Katniss said, smiling. Rue laughed too, but did not move her hand away.
"I want to say my final words. Katniss, if you win I want-" Rue began. "Of course I'm going to win, what are you talking about?" Katniss said as she slapped Rue hard across the face. "I needed that." Rue said. "Now, I want you to tell my parents that I love them. And tell my brother that I wa-" Rue was interrupted by a large farting noise.
"Oh…God, who was that?" Katniss asked. "Wasn't me…" Rue said, as another farting noise ripped across the sky. Katniss looked over to her side and yelled, "Haymitch!" in an angry mood. The old man laughed and yelled, "It's the bran!"
Katniss looked down at Rue. "Now you were saying?" Rue looked up at her. "Katniss…Can you sing for me?"
Katniss looked at her. She only knew one song. Well, she didn't know one song, but she only knew the lyrics to one song. But she knew that it would kill everyone who heard it. But she decided not to sing that song, and decided to make her own song. A song that went to the tune of another song. Katniss knew that there was a word for that, but she couldn't remember the name of it. Was it a Parolme? A Pamoli? She couldn't remember but she knew it-
"Would you stop thinking and start singing! Hell-o? I'm dieing down here!" Rue yelled, rubbing Katniss' boob with more force. "Okay, okay!" Katniss yelled, and started singing a song that went a little like this:
If we were a movie...
You'd be the black guy…
That I'd fall in love with…
And have thirty kids with…
In the end, we'd be rappin…
Watchin some Snoop Dogg…
Play some games…
Smoke some weed…
Play a happy rap song.
As Katniss was finished, Rue was already dead. She died of spontaneous combustion and all that was left of her was her ashes. Katniss then rubbed them all over her body and made an ash angel. She was pleased with her creation.
That night, she looked up at the screen, and saw Rue was the only person died that night. Katniss realized that she had medicine in her a pouch that could of sealed her wounds. Katniss was so angry that she got some rope and hung herself on the nearest tree. Then she ate herself as food. Then successfully opened thirty-seven Taco Bells. And her own documentary "How to Live Under the Stars Like a Black Woman: The True Stories of Katniss Everdeen's Struggle During the Hunger Games and How to Make Sure That Yu Don't Screw Up Your Society Like the Capitol Did Because They Were a Bunch of Idiots but Hey, Let's Face It We All Know These Events are Never Going to Happen so Suck on That"
And in the end, as Katniss lay under the stars, thinking about her past, she heard another loud fart, "Haymitch!"