Hello! So this is a short story about how Haruhi feels after the death of her love, Tamaki. *Warning Character death, possible trigger, OOCness, and also sorry for any grammatical errors I may have missed when reviewing.* Enjoy!
The cherry blossoms still bloomed.
The sun still rose.
The world still turned.
How does the world act as if nothing has happened? As if it hadn't just lost one of its most beautiful features; maybe even the most beautiful. It acts as though Tamaki meant nothing; like he was nothing.
Even the host club still continued, like entertaining stupid girls was more important. Everyone cried for a weekâno eye drops needed. After that, they carried out their mourning period with artificial tears because it made the girls happy to see the "love" the other hosts had for their lost king. Happy girls equal more money, right? But now, after a year, everyone seems absolutely fine. How could they simply forget what he did for them; how he's changed all of them? I can't forget. I'm still crying over him.
A razor became my best friend soon after his death. It saddened me every time I would cut my skin because I knew Tamaki would be disappointed in me. The only reason I continued is because I could almost hear his voice every time the cool metal touched my wrist.
'A young lady should never mark her skin in any way. It only takes away from her beauty.'
'As your father, I am supposed to do everything in my power to preserve you. So please, Haruhi, don't do this to yourself. Daddy loves you.'
When the razor sliced my skin and the blood would begin to appear, I remembered the times we spent together: days at the host club, dates on the weekend, vacations to local destinations, and nights filled with passion. As the blood oozed, my thoughts of him were amplified and it was almost as if he were still with me; like my memories were actually something that was happening right then.
But then as the blood began to dry, I remembered why I was doing it in the first place. I remembered the car crash and seeing his limp, lifeless body next to me in the backseat of the car.
'If you wouldn't have asked for a ride home, you wouldn't be cleaning up your own blood right now.' I would think after every session. Tears would almost always follow.
Kaoru was the only one who ever noticed the cuts. He comforted me and told me everything would be okay. He became a replacement of sorts, and even more so when our bodies gave into each other. Kaoru's body was different than the one I had previously become so accustom to, but when I closed my eyes it was as if Tamaki was the one making love to me instead. I would run my fingers through Kaoru's red hair, but I only pictured blonde locks in my mind. And though I knew honey colored eyes were the ones really looking at me, all I saw when I closed my mine were violet ones. Kaoru knew all of this, yet he still continued. He didn't even care when I would let Tamaki's name cross my lips or begin to cry after my fantasy ended when he hit his climax. He would just clean up and hold me close.
Last night was our final night of love-making. The routine went as usual with me in my imaginary place and him enduring my countless whispers of Tamaki's name. Upon his release I would cry and he would clean up. But that night, with tears in the corners of his eyes, he told me that he couldn't keep doing this unless I would finally accept that he was not Tamaki
But no matter how much it pained me to see him like that, I couldn't accept it.
I left that night with a hole in my heart even bigger than it was before. Kaoru was my final thread of sanity in my world that began crumbling down a year ago. He was the Tamaki I could no longer have.
I honestly don't know how to deal anymore. I feel as though I'm drowning in a sea of nothingness. Everything that had ever meant anything to me is gone. It had never registered until just now that my life was meaningless. When my only love left this world, he took a large part of me with him, leaving behind only an empty shell of a human being. I'm already a dead inside, so why not be dead on the outside too? Maybe, just maybe, I'll get to see Tamaki again. I hope he forgives me being partially responsible for his death and for everything I've done to myself because of it.
Tonight has to be the night I go because I don't think I can stand to see another sunrise or another cherry blossom floating in the wind.
So with those beautiful violet eyes in my mind for encouragement, I lightly touch the smooth metal to wrist. With a bit more pressure I start to see small beads of blood. With even more, it runs in small streams down my arm and drips onto the bathroom floor. It's the same color as roses he always gave me.
As the blood began to pour heavily from my left wrist, I quickly made another deep swipe on my right one. The crimson liquid spilled out at an alarming rate and my vision began to get blur.
When I fell to the bathroom floor, I heard a voice I had missed dearly; one that made me smile even in my weakening state. One that let me know I was doing the right thing and assured I would be happy once again.
"No need to feel sad anymore. Daddy's waiting for you Haruhi."
Peace was the only thing I felt at that moment. Leaving this world is a blessing, now made better by the fact that I would be reunited with the one I've loved ever since I first laid eyes on him. I won't be leaving anything behind worth much and I know the people I once called friends will mourn. But then after they realized I'm no longer relevant to their lives, they will continue living as if nothing happened, just as they had done with Tamaki.
The cherry blossoms will still bloom.
The sun will still rise.
The world will still turn.
And for the first time in a long time, I will feel happiness.
In my final breath, I whispered back to the smooth, soothing voice, "I love you Tamaki."
After the initial darkness of death, I was engulfed in a familiar embraced I had missed. I looked up to see Tamaki looking down at me with kind eyes and a smile plastered on his face.
"I love you too, Haruhi."
Wasn't that a happy ending? And yes, I do realize that the club probably wouldn't have stayed together or have been remotely the same if Tamaki died. That's just how I wrote it. Anyway, thanks for reading and please review, favorite, etc :)