Gerat twilight adventure by noober
Hi This is my f-
ONECE UPON A TIME Edward Cullen was sulkin because he was sad he was vampire. He did not want vampire, but he did want Bella, clearly Collin was in conflict.
So much rage was mustard up inside Edwards bowels and he screamed on to the sky "I WILL KILL JACOB!"
Edward and Cullen made up his mind to kill Jacob, the Werewolf. Jacob was Mexican around.
Edward Culling went to Jacob house and Spared it. He thrust the door.
Edward saw Jacob sitting on a chare and casually eating a yogurt like it was NOTHING.
Edward said " AAHHHH IM GOING TO KILL YOU, NYA!" and Jacob handcuffed Edward to a radiator, because that was his Mexican technique. "WHAT!" asked Edward! "I chained you to a radiator, silly." Jacob made a coy smile.
SUDENTLY BELLA
came in all over the place. She liked at Edward Culling all chained up to a radiator. "Oh no that's not nice!" Bella said, but then she changed her mind and cited it WAS nice VERY NICE ( not literally nice, but sexually nice, forgive me, I recently found out how cool sex was and i have been WIGGING OUT ABOUT IT EVER SCENCE)
she then clamped clamps on to Edwards nipple and gave them electric shock therapy Pikachu.
"OOOW OW THIS SUCKS" Edward said.
Bella smiled nice and said to Jacob "I know we have been going out and, you have condoms, but forget about condoms for now and make me a baby with Edward.]
Jacob said ok and they went at it and they bonked hard together to make baby. Edward didn't enjoy it at all but Jacob did enjoy it at all.
several moths passed and Edward got more and more mpregged. until HE WAS IN LABOR!
"OH MY GOD ! GET ME TO A HOSPICEAL!"
"no" said Bella "your going to give birth to that baby right here, right now!"
"BUT IT HURTS"
"You should have thought about that before you went and had gay sex behind my back!"
"BUT IT WASENT BEHIND YOUR BACK! YOU TOLD JACOB TO DO IT!"
"I don't care you stupid explicative."
Jacob turned into a dog with his werewolf powers and delivered the baby. DOGOBGYN.
" OUCH JACOB! STOP BITEING ME" (Jacobean was performing a c section on Edward)
and...
THE BABY CAME OUT ALIVE!
" what the heck!" said Bella. Bella was confused because the baby looked like a bug or a cockroach turned inside out. even though it was just born it was already pucking and pooping all over the place.
"I guess that's why society frowns upon gay people." Bella shrugged her shoulders.
"What the hack are we going to DO with this thing? asked Jacob.
"I don't know, we could sell it at the circus."
" NO! DONT DO THAT! THATS MY BABBY!" Edward sided.
"Well it looks like you have two choices Edward, was could sell this freak mutant baby to the circus OR we could stuff it in your butt hole where it belongs.
Edward just stared at Jacob and Bella
"Right, circus it is."
as Jacob and Bella left the room, Edward screamed in agony. he wept and vomited a little. He cried and cried and all of god said unto you "forgive me...please" The men of the son of the son of god said unto the son of god was very good. Put, and creed and fell upon their faces. Edward saw a puddle of the LORD will not hold him guiltless. Now therefore thy lips are in sackcloth, whither he held out a wife for my son of blood according to death. there. there. Arise, he may be put to touch it and it was there, and it was very good. Thou shalt not murder... there... nor here.