Unexpected.
It started with a kiss.
That's how it always starts.
A kiss.
A kiss that leads to another.
And another.
He provoked it, but she was the one who did it. That was all he wanted, just a kiss. Everything else that happened was just an added bonus. He aggravated her with his playful jokes and flirtatious touches.
"Gar!"
"One little kiss."
"I'm not!.."
"Come on Rae, just kiss me. You know you want to." That's when she snapped, and did the thing that they wanted most, the thing that was on both their minds. She kissed him. She kissed him with force, passion, and lust. And it was just how he dreamed it would be. But to be honest he didn't really think what would happen after the kiss. To get her to kiss him was the goal. Of course he wasn't expecting something mushy like holding hands and skipping into the sunset, ready to live happily ever after. But a part of him wanted something... somewhat like that.
The kiss came with a lot of unexpected things, like the second kiss, and the third one, and so on… Like her clinging to him, and sticking her tongue in his mouth. All these things he greeted with excitement and passion. But the thing he wasn't expecting; at least not this soon, was sleeping with her.
It was amazing, wonderful, and hot. Very, very hot. She clung to him wanting more and more. The kiss just wasn't enough. He had no idea she was holding in this much desire, and for him. She wanted it bad, and he was going to give it to her, because to be honest, he wanted it too. He just wasn't expecting it this soon, and in this way.
It was a little more forceful than what he wanted their first time together to be. Now again he wasn't expecting something mushy and sweet like rose petals and champagne. But still, he would have preferred something a little less… Intense. And it wasn't just her, he had to admit he played a big part in the intensity. But it was only because she provoked him. She asked for it, in grave detail. She told him what she wanted. And she wanted it hard, rough, and… Intense. And he gave it to her. And it was great, wonderful, hot…
But it all backfired. For the next day she was gone; like it never happened. But it did happen, he knew it did. He woke up in her room, in her bed, in nothing but his boxers. It wasn't a dream, being in her room proved that it did happen. He was definitely confused and needed to talk to her… badly.
But she didn't want to talk. "It was a mistake, Gar. It never should have happened." That's all she had to say about the matter. It was a mistake, it never should have happened. But it did happen.
Out of all the things she had told him over the years, this one hurt the most. How was he supposed to forget this? The way she had kissed him, the way she whispered to him, the way she shouted his name. He couldn't forget that. You don't forget your first rollercoaster; especially when you just rode it the day before. No, he couldn't forget it. It was too thrilling, passionate, intense… hot. The way her lips and tongue felt on his skin. The way her fingers grazed his form. The way her body felt with his. How could she ask him to forget that? How could she ask him to act like it never happened? How could she wish it never had happened? What did he do wrong? Was it not satisfying to her? No, no she had to have liked it; a girl doesn't just scream a guy's name during sex and not like it.
This was hard for him to take and understand. He wasn't sure what to expect next. But one thing is for sure, he wasn't expecting her to come back.
It was late when an unexpected knock came at his door, and he sure as hell wasn't expecting her. "Gar, I wanna talk." was all she said. He was all ears, and gestured for her to come in.
She sat on his bed; a tad frazzled. "So what do you wanna talk about?" He asked as if he didn't know.
"Us, I want to talk about us…" He was ready for her to speak. It had almost been a week since the unexpected incident, and he was ready for her to tell him what was on her mind. But apparently she wasn't ready, for she didn't speak. She stuttered, but it ended up nowhere. He grew impatient with her silence and sat next to her on his bed, trying to coach her thoughts out. But it backfired, for as soon as he sat down she showed him what she wanted; what was on her mind, and what she was thinking; she kissed him.
He pulled away confused and looked at her dumfounded. "Raven?" She leaned in and kissed him again, and again he pulled away. "Raven." He stopped her.
"Gar." She paused. "Gar, I want to do it again."
Unexpected.
"What?" She bit her lower lip as her hand quivered; sliding up his chest. "I want to do it again." She all but whispered.
"You said it was a mistake?" He reminded her.
"I know."
"You said to act like it never happened."
"I know."
"You-"
"I know what I said, Gar." She interrupted.
And that's how the second time started. He tried to resist, but a part of him wanted it to happen.
It started with a kiss.
That's how it always starts.
A kiss.
A kiss that leads to another.
And another.
It wasn't as intense as the first time, but it was still unexpected. And to be honest, he wasn't that surprised to see her gone the next morning. He only wished she took her lavender scent with her.
He should have said no. He should have refused. But he wanted it; he wanted her. But most of all, he wanted her to stay. And this wasn't the last time. She came to him again; she wanted him again. And he never stopped wanting her. Though he wished he did.
It wasn't every day. But it wasn't once a week either. Frequent, it was frequent. She never meant for this to happen. Her actions were so unlike her, and so… so, unexpected. She never meant for this to happen, especially again.
It started with a kiss.
That's how it always starts.
A kiss.
A kiss that leads to another.
And another.
She came to him again in the middle of the night, when the others were fast asleep, when she had nothing stopping her. The second time was supposed to be a onetime thing, but a part of her knew it wouldn't be, as she said the same thing about the first time. And she was right. She was always right, unless she's wrong.
These encounters were frequent. They weren't supposed to be, but they were. He was good, he was amazing, he was… wonderful. And not just the first time, but every time after that; he was amazing every time. He was kind, patient, focused, and generous, and soo… affectionate. It was like he lived to serve; to serve her. He always made sure she was okay, good, happy, content, satisfied. She loved the sensation of his lips mumbling things against her skin. Mostly it was her name, but sometimes it was confessions. She got some sick pleasure out of it.
But then he took it too far; there first night. It was amazing, not just the sex but the aftermath. She felt tired and awake at the same time, and she could tell he was too, although a little more tired than awake. Content. She was content. They were content. He had cuddled up to her and nuzzled his face into her neck, and said "I love you." And that's when she knew this was a mistake. That wasn't sex 'I love you.' The sex was done, that was 'I love you,' I love you. That's when she knew, this could never happen again. But it was just too good; he was just too good.
It started with a kiss.
That's how it always starts.
A kiss.
A kiss that leads to another.
And another.
Why did she keep coming back? He deserved better than this; better than her. But here she was again. She almost smiled at the feeling of him beside her. Almost. The aftermath was almost as great as the sex. But the aftermath also had its flaws. Once the high was over, she would remember where she was. What she did, what she was still doing. She mentally scolded herself for coming here again. For kissing him as if she was going to starve. For stripping him down, yet again. For gripping him as if she needed him to survive. She had to stop doing this; she had to. She was going to stop this. But it felt so good… No. this needed to end. It has gone on long enough.
She sat up in his bed; swearing to herself that it will never happen again. But she knew it was a lie. He was her drug. Her warm, safe, handsome drug. She slid her legs over the edge of the bed and began to dress herself. She was quiet, but not quite enough. He sighed."Slipping away again, huh?" She exhaled, silently hating his sensitive hearing. "Leaving the scene of the crime?" She didn't respond but instead continued to get dressed. "How long will this go on, Rae?"
"It won't happen again." She stated.
"You said that the last time."
"Well I mean it this time." He huffed; she was so full of it. Her body tensed when she heard him sit up; slowly moving towards her. "This was a mistake." She told him.
"You always say that."
"It shouldn't have gone on this long."
"Then why has it?" He asked knowing quite well she wouldn't give him an answer. And she didn't. "Raven." He started. It has become hard for her to hear her name spoken by him. It just reminds her of all the times he has said it in whispered tone against her skin. "Rae…"
"Don't call me that!" she shot back and he smirked "Right…I forgot you like it when I call you, Raven…" He said slowly.
She abruptly turned her head to glare at him, before sighing and turning to face the door. "I have to go."
"No you don't."
"Yes I do." She said standing up, but a hand stopped her from moving as he had a pleading grip on her wrist. "Raven, please."
"What?" She asked, already knowing the answer.
"Stay. Stay with me." She looked at his begging, pleading eyes. "Come back to bed." She shook her head. "Raven…"
"This shouldn't have happened!" She told him again.
"But it did."
"This won't happen again!"
"You're lying."
"These were all mistakes!"
"To you."
"Gar, this isn't going to work. It can't work. You're my teammate, my friend…"
"Your lover…" he finished in a whisper. But she heard it, and it surprised her. She was taken aback. Why did he have to make this thing they had real?
"Gar…"
"Raven friends don't do this."
"That's why I'm putting a stop to it."
"Raven, we've been at this for over a month." She knew that. "A month, Rae." He said standing up.
"Why are you so stuck on this?"
"Because we've been sleeping together for over a month!"
"Yes, I know!"
"For over a month, you've been sneaking in and out of my room!"
"I don't do sleepovers." She shrugged coldly.
"You don't even say goodbye. You just leave, Raven!"
"What do you want from me, Garfield?!" She demanded.
"YOU!" She paused; wordless. "I want you, Raven! All I ever wanted was you. I want you to be… to be…"
"To be what? You're girlfriend?" She asked.
"Yes." He said softly and she didn't know what to say, she couldn't muster any words to speak. "I still don't understand what I'm doing wrong. It has to be something because you clearly don't want to be with me. But it can't be the sex since apparently that's all I'm good for!"
"Gar…"
"I want you, Raven!" He interrupted again. "I want to go out on cheesy dates. Where we go to dinner and see a movie. I want to hold hands in public. I want to have a valentine on February 14th. I want you!" He finished.
"Gar it's not that simple."
"Yes it is." He protested. "Raven if you just let it happen you could see how easy it can be."
"Nothing is ever easy with me, Garfield!"
"Only cause you don't let it!"
"Oh for Azar's sake, you wanna know why I left the first night we were together! Because you told me you loved me!"
"What?"
It all came crashing down.
"You love me? Why do you love me?" She asked him, but it seemed like she was asking herself. It was his turn to be speechless. "You're not supposed to love me."
"What?" He asked still confused.
"I don't deserve it."
"Why?" He spoke, "Why don't you think you deserve it?"
"Because… I'm me!" She shouted gesturing to herself.
"So?"
"Gar. You, you deserve better… better than me." And with that she headed towards the door.
"But I don't want better than you." He confessed and she stopped and opened her mouth to speak, but the words refused to come out. "All I ever wanted was you." He admitted. She turned and faced him, but was met by his bright green eyes that pierced her human soul. The contact broke when he sat back down on his bed. He let out a long sigh as he rested his arms on his knees. "I can't do this Raven. If a simple 'I love you' scares you off then I can't be with you, but I guess that's what you wanted anyway. That's what you think you deserve. So go, leave, leave like you always do. But this time don't come back, cause I can't take it anymore." He spoke letting his head fall in defeat.
She swallowed a lump in her throat. This was hard to see; he was hard to see. It tore her up inside, seeing him so defeated. And what made it worse was she did this to him. She broke him; he was broken. This was done. She got what she wanted. She wanted it to end, and it did. She turned to the door but her feet refused to move. This was her escape, her answer, her solution to all of her problems. A clean getaway. An end to the late night visits, and hidden kisses. An end to the seductive whispers and moans. She took another breath when another thought dawned on her. He wouldn't look at her the same way ever again. Not only would the look of lust and desire leave his eyes, but his charming and tender looks of affection would disappear too. That is if he ever did look at her again. His playful snickers and flirtatious touching would cease to exist. And his sweet smell that always had a hint of her on it would fade away. But that was what she wanted, right? For him to find someone better, someone worthwhile…someone who wasn't her. That was what she wanted, right?
No…
'Raven if you just let it happen you could see how easy it can be.' The thought rang in her head. She quickly turned around and walked towards him, causing him to lift up his sunken head. In less than a second, she was on him. She pushed him back to sit up before crashing her lips with his. She climbed on his lap and held him until he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her back. She sighed in relief before she moved her lips along his; holding him close. And then she pulled back. "This isn't going to be easy." She warned.
"It never is with you." He replied, a grin creeping on his lips.
"I have issues."
"I know."
"A lot of them."
"I know."
"I have trust issues."
"Who doesn't?"
"Self-esteem issues."
"I don't care."
"This could get dangerous."
"I'm not scared."
"Am I really worth it?"
"Do you have any idea what it's like being with you, sleeping with you, kissing you? And oh god that thing you do with your tongue!"
"Fine…but I don't want this coming out to the public."
"Rae, we've been having sex secretly for over a month. Do you honestly think I'm going to go blabbing my mouth?"
"I'm going to pick the restaurant, and the movie."
"Done."
"And I won't wear heels."
"Oh come on Rae, have you seen the way your legs look in them." He mused, running his hand over her thigh.
"Are you going to make a pass at me on every date?"
"It wouldn't be complete without one."
She sighed. "Fine."
He grinned ridiculously before he quickly turned them so that her back was on his bed. He pushed up her shirt kissing the exposed skin of her torso. "You won't regret this, Rae." He mumbled.
She bit her lip as her breathing became harder. "My name's not Rae." She scolded.
He stopped his light pecks and she could feel him smirk against her skin. "Mmm… Raven." She started to lean back and let go, relax, unwind…
"This won't be a fairytale."
"I know." He muttered against her form. And then he stopped, hovering above her skin before saying… "I love you."
"You're playing with fire, Gar." She cautioned lightly.
He stopped his actions and looked up at her. "You can't scare me away, Raven."
"This will be intense."
"Of course it will." He muttered moving his lips up her body to her face; connecting with hers.
"It will be unexpected." She said pulling away from his lips.
"I wouldn't have it any other way."
It started with a kiss.
That's how it always starts.
A kiss.
A kiss that leads to another.
And another.
…