"Stop checking your watch!" Serena barked. From Hanssen's startled reaction she guessed she had said that a little more aggressively than she had meant to. "Sorry, its just… it doesn't do a girl's ego much good when her date looks like he'd rather be anywhere else on earth!"
"It's no reflection on your company Ms Campbell, but you did say we only had to stay an hour or so." Hanssen reminded her, ignoring her description of him as her date. "And it's been an hour and forty-five minutes now."
"Yes, but the guest of honour didn't arrive until forty-five minutes ago. Therefore the first hour doesn't count." Serena informed him. She went to take another sip of her wine and realised the glass was empty.
"I don't see why we should suffer because of his tardiness." Hanssen replied sulkily.
Serena rolled her eyes and reminded him that it was his idea that they come in the first place. "I said sending a card would do! We've set a precedent now. Every bean counter, every lab tech, every porter… they'll all start doing it now, you know. Inviting you to stuff and expecting a bloody expensive bottle of whiskey as a gift."
Hanssen certainly hoped that wasn't true. He wasn't sure what he had expected the hospital's longest serving member of accounts' retirement party to be like but he certainly had not expected the scene in front of him right now. A dj was playing a mixture of 80s music that Hanssen vaguely recognised and others which he presumed to be more modern songs. The entire accounts department were on the dance floor shaking various body parts both in time and out of time with the music and, in some cases, in a manner Hanssen considered bordering on obscene. The guest of honour, Gordon Smith, after his late arrival, was slowly making his way around the guests and as he did so Hanssen noted his gait seemed to be becoming more and more unsteady. Hanssen hated dealing with drunk people. Their lack of inhibition made him nervous. Speaking of drunk people, he thought to himself, and glanced across at Serena. Her glass was empty again.
"Same again?" she asked him, as she stood up.
"No thank you." he replied. Serena rolled her eyes and made her way to the bar.
Hanssen glanced around the room again. He saw two members of the accounts department kissing in the middle of the dance floor. He was pretty sure they were both married - and not to each other! He dreaded to think of the aftermath this party was going to have on the smooth running of his accounts department next week.
"Hello."
Hanssen felt a hand on his shoulder and looked to see a woman, who looked to be in her sixties, in heavy make-up and a frighteningly low cut top hovering by his side.
"Hello." he replied stiffly.
"D'you wanna boogie?" the woman slurred.
"I beg your pardon?" Hanssen asked, leaning away from her.
"Dance. I wanna dance with you." she tried to take his hand but he pulled it away.
"Ah… no. Thank you." Dear god, who was this woman! He glanced around in panic looking for Serena but she was still at the bar.
"Wanna go outside?" the woman leaned towards him and tried to whisper seductively in his ear. "There's a quiet spot out back, we could…"
Serena smiled and nodded as the handsome man beside her explained that he was a fireman. Her eyes wandered over him as she imagined him in his uniform. God she loved a man in uniform! Giggling at a rather bad joke by the man, she coquettishly raised her wine glass to her lips and was about to enquire whether being a busy fireman left him any time for a social life when she suddenly felt an arm around her waist - and it wasn't Mr Fireman's!
"There you are dear. Have you got the drinks yet?" Hanssen asked in a casual but unnecessarily loud tone, his body language was anything but relaxed as he had something of a death grip on her waist and his jaw was set in that rigid way of his.
"Henrik? Wh.." Serena looked at him in confusion and then noticed fit Mr Fireman slowly backing away, she smiled brightly at him again but he clearly had the wrong idea about Hanssen and had lost interest. Realising all was lost she turned grumpily to Hanssen who was in the middle of ordering himself a whiskey. "What on earth has gotten into you?" she snapped.
"Nothing." he said.
"Balls! Why I am suddenly your "dear" and I thought you didn't want a drink?"
He still had his arm tightly around her waist. Realising he'd have to explain, his shoulders slumped slightly and he looked sheepish but still retained his hold on her.
"See that woman over there in the tight leopard print top and black skirt?" he asked trying to be as discreet as possible as the woman kept watching him.
"Isn't she Gordon's sister? What about her?" Serena asked.
"She…" he didn't want to repeat what she had suggested they do outside, the mere thought made him feel slightly nauseous "I seem to have attracted her attention. She…" he tugged at the colour of his shirt, "made a rather indecent proposal." He could feel his cheeks reddening.
Serena couldn't hold in her laughter but quickly realised that Hanssen was genuinely uncomfortable. She took a deep breath to suppress her laughter. "Look, remain calm and please let go of my waist. We do work with some of these people remember? I could do without any rumours!"
Hanssen quickly removed his arm. In his desperation to shake off that terrifying woman he hadn't considered how it would look to hospital employees. Hopefully they were all too intoxicated to have noticed.
"What on earth did she do, you look horrified?" Serena asked. Hansen hesitated but after some more prompting from Serena eventually whispered what the woman had said. Serena promptly started laughing again and Hanssen scowled.
"Hey guys!" Mo Effanga suddenly appeared by their side with Derwood Thompson in tow. "Didn't expect to see you here."
"Some of us didn't expect to be here." Serena replied giving Hanssen a slightly peevish look. He had insisted after Gordon has sent them a joint invite they must "show their faces" out of respect for his years of service at the hospital. But ever since their arrival had been fidgeting and wanting to leave. "Do you know Gordon well?" she asked. Surprised to see the others.
"Oh yea, me and Gordon go way back!" Mo said confidently but didn't elaborate any further, instead exchanging a look with Derwood Thompson that Serena couldn't read. The two giggled slightly and Derwood asked if he could buy them a drink.
"We've just got a drink." Hansen replied.
"A shiraz for me please." Serena spoke over him and indicated her already half empty glass.
"Don't you think you should slow down?" Hansen suggested quietly.
"No, I don't." Serena replied, fixing him with a daring stare.
"Right." Mr T said after a moment's awkward silence, "I'll just…" he waved his arm towards the bar and moved closer to get the barman's attention.
Mo stood awkwardly before a tense Hanssen and Serena. "So…" she tried to think of something to break the silence. "Good night so far?" Neither answered verbally but the looks on their faces told her all she needed to know. "Right. um… It'll probably pick up after a while." she laughed, "The accounts department parties aren't legendary for nothing!"
"Are they?" Serena asked in surprise.
"Oh yea! You haven't heard about them?" Mo asked in surprise. "That lot are wild when they let loose!"
"The accounts team?" Mr T asked on his return.
"Yea. Serena's never heard about their parties!" Mo explained.
"Really? I thought they were legendary by now." Mr T said in surprise. "Mild mannered accountants by day - party fiends by night. Well. Not every night obviously. That would be unsustainable but, you know - whenever there is occasion to paaaartay they most certainly do!" he laughed and then caught the look on Hanssen's face. "Of course, they are all still 100% dedicated to their work and let nothing interfere with their professional duties." he fiddled nervously with his tie.
"Well. I never would have thought they had it in them." Serena said in a tone that suggested she had a new found respect for the accounting team. Hansen looked like he had discovered a new reason to worry. "Oh watch out!" Serena nudged him with her elbow. "There's your girlfriend."
The woman from earlier walked past and gave him what was probably meant to be a seductive smile. Or wind, Hanssen couldn't tell.
"Oh! Have you pulled?" Mr T joked and then remembered who he was talking to and turned bright red, stammering an apology before Hanssen even reacted.
"Gordon's sister." Serena explained with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "She's offered to do all manner of naughty things to our dear Mr Hanssen in the car park!"
"Ms Campbell!" Hanssen hissed and then turned just as red as Mr T had done earlier.
Mo and Mr T weren't quite sure whether to laugh or not. It was alright for Serena Campbell but they were pretty sure teasing Hanssen was above their pay grade.
"Shall we sit?" Mo suggested, more to Mr T than the CEO and his deputy but it was Hanssen who answered suggesting they return to the table he and Serena had occupied earlier. Hansen and Serena set off and Mo winced at Mr T. "I can't believe we're stuck with them!"
"I've seen you drinking with Ms Campbell before." Mr T said.
"Yea, she's alright on her own but in combination with Hanssen? Those two start sniping at each other and we get shot in the cross fire! This is a no win situation for us!" Mo explained.
"Ah. Well.." he tried to think of something positive to say but couldn't.
"Exactly." Mo said knowing he was stumped.