Title: "Detention? What Detention?"
Author: Niggle
Genre: Humor/Vignette
Summary: What really happened after Lana's sudden departure in "Nicodemus"
Rating: PG-13
Archive: View as author intended at: niggle.0catch.com
Clark surfaced quickly and shook the water from his hair...to find Principal Kwan standing in Lana's place and looking none too amused.
Busted.
But instead of ripping off a sound tongue lashing, Kwan smiled mischievously and ripped off his clothes. Beneath his crisp suit and tie, the principal was wearing a red Speedo.
"Mind if I join you?"
Without giving the dumbfounded teenager time to drop his jaw in surprise, the upright principal clapped his hands twice, sharply. In the Realm of Smallville High, Principal Kwan is King, President, Emperor and Dictator. As he strutted towards the high board, music filled the school.
I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me
Kwan climbed the ladder with alacrity and danced his way to the edge of the board.
I'm a model, you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk
Clark watched, bug-eyed, as his principal, apparently envisioning himself in Model Competition 2002, turned the diving board into a catwalk for a verse or two and then proceeded to leap into the water feet first. Kwan attempted a few seductive breaststrokes before climbing out for another go at the board.
I'm too sexy for my cat, too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy, poor pussy cat
I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me
Clark shook his head in remonstration as he got out of the pool. Kwan was obviously not himself, but that was no excuse for such an obscene display.
"Uh, Principal Kwan, sir, that is so not the walk. Here, let me show you..."