AN: Rurouni Kenshin is not mine .bla bla bla ..you know the rest ;). So please don t sue me! I have noooo money. (by the way I changed a few things, Kaoru is 19, not 17 and in my story her father dies when she was 13. Ok? So lets get on with it, shall we?

The Past That Eludes Her Chapter 1

Kenshin backed away from her as if she had caught fire and their tendrils reached for him. It took a moment for what she had said to sink into his mind. His eyes snapped open and looked fully into hers. He knew that he had frightened her but her eyes held nothing but love for him. No fear, no regret, just love. And he looked away, stammering as he did so.

"Miss Kaoru... I apologize from the bottom of my heart." he turned to walk away but Kaoru quickly raced to the front of him. She couldn't wait any longer to do what she had wanted to do for so long. He was taken aback, what did she want? She must want some sort of answer; after all she did just tell him that she loved him, as a woman loves a man.

What kind of answer could he give her?

So many feelings, happiness, for he longed to hear her say that, fear, because now she was truly putting her life in his stained hands, and anger, angry for the fact he could never truly be at ease knowing this now. Was he truly ready yet? To hear such words directed towards him, a murderer, a killer?

Kaoru could see the emotions play across his face until the look of absolute horror stayed behind, she couldn't stand the pain she saw and took a cautious step toward him. As expected his body seemed to move away from her inevitable embrace. She stopped. Kenshin looked into her eyes again, begging for understanding.

Kaoru would have gasped at the sight that beheld her now, his eyes, now with speckles of yellow, peered into her very heart. Gods they were beautiful! It was now or never. "Oh...Ken..shin...please...please" with each please she inched forward, her arm rising to touch his face, her fingers stretched out, dying to feel his skin. "...please...stop..running...from...me...just this once..stop" and he did, he stopped long enough for her to touch his face, the scar. The moment her fingers traced the scar, it was as though she was feeling the pains of his past within her own heart.

"...Kenshin..." she said weakly almost whispering, but she wouldn't cry, he hasn't cried for so long, so she wouldn't cry either. As innocent as her touch was meant to be it stirred so many forgotten feelings in Kenshin. He lifted a hand and touched hers and gently guided her fingers along his scar, then across his lips. The sudden touch of his lips startled her and she fought the urge to whip her hand away from his. The tremor did not go unnoticed by Kenshin. His mind seemed to go forward again, and then he realized what was transposing between the two of them and the nagging fear settled neatly back into his heart. He released her hand and backed away from her tender touch.

"Kenshin?" she said quietly, expecting to hear something awful, "Kenshin, you really don't have to say anything. I know...just believe in that, if you believe in anything... I know, Kenshin." she bowed her head and walked away. The purple kimono she wore fluttered in the slight breeze as she turned and walked from him.

She is beautiful! Kenshin thought to himself. He walked away from the Kayimia Dojo and out of its doors. He had to walk, find a place of peace and meditation. Perhaps he should have left her a note, letting her know that he wasn't leaving but that he was just going to town for a bit. At the present time any kind of communication seemed awkward so Kenshin decided against it to avoid any oddities with Kaoru. It was obvious that they both needed to reflect, that it did, that it did indeed!

This place, the riverside, held so many memories. He replayed the day when Kaoru gave him her indigo ribbon. The day before his fight with Jinh was supposed to take place. She was so angry with him but he could see a great fear in her eyes that day. That is what drove her anger, he supposed. At the time he didn't realize that she didn't fear for his life, but for him only. She was so desperate at the thought that he would leave forever and he was so naive to even think that she would miss a rurouni like him.

Like two blind people did they fall in love by that very riverbank.

He knew that it was at that moment he had fallen in love with her. It was done and there was nothing he could do about it. Helplessly and hopelessly he fell in love with her. Jinh spoke no lies that day when he spoke of Kaoru as his woman, as battosai's woman. HIS. Is what Kaoru was, from that day on. It was because of what happened that day, in that place, that the riverside became his place, his temple for refuge.

This place was a monument that stood for the end of his troubled heart. All because of one snip of a girl, who everyone teased as the sweaty, ugly, raccoon girl, who couldn't cook. Kenshin laughed aloud at his last thought. She was everything he never imagined, but everything he needed. Now she needed him back, in more ways than a housekeeper and trusted friend. She needed her love to be returned just a freely as it had been given away to him. He knew this, and knew that it was far from on time.

Too long has she loved him behind her tears and fears. He knew it everytime she woke and thanked him for the breakfast he cooked. Everytime their eyes met, no matter how quickly they pulled their gazes apart he could still see the love and fear in her beautiful eyes. He knew of her loneliness as well, perhaps, in essence she had been much more lonely than he ever was.

Her childhood seemed to be a good one, with a loving father, that was later taken away. He could almost imagine what it would feel like to be completely secure and full of happiness, but then have it all taken from you in an instant. To have everything, then have nothing. His whole life was hard, that it was, but it was all he had ever known.

Never in his life had he felt completely secure, and happy, so he could never really know what it was like to have it ripped away in an instant, but Miss Kaoru knew of that place. So she did know...she has known for quite some time, that she has. For Kenshin, at that moment, everything he knew of Miss Kaoru and himself came together within his mind and for a moment he felt absolute peace. He exhaled loudly and smiled, at the gods or whoever would see him.

He thought of Tomoe, but didn't feel sad. Ah..Tomoe...I will always love you. Thank you for ever loving me and watching over me. I love you. He stood up and started to walk towards his home once again, as he had done countless times in the past. But this time, Kaoru, was standing right behind him the whole time it seems.

He was startled and taken by surprise for what seemed the first time in his whole life. How did I manage not to feel her presence? She didn't look angry this time though. She just looked thoughtful and smiled at him.

"Uhh..Miss Kaoru..I..umm... I should have told you where I was going. I am sorry." he stammered again, but was surprised to find Kaoru laughing.

"What is it? What is funny?" he questioned.

"Ha ha ..ha..Kenshin...if you think I came here to look for you...heha..ha...I would have to say that this may be the first time you would be wrong in that assumption...ha he..haha.." she was so tickled she couldn't make simple sentences. She was coming close to laughing really hard.

"Oro?" he said, finding her laughing contagious. "So why did you come here, Miss Kaoru?" he said.

"For the same reason as you, Kenshin. This truly is a great place to think about anything, but the main reason I came to this spot in particular was because.."

"It reminds you of the day you fell in love with me?" Kenshin interrupted.

"No, Kenshin, you are wrong again. I have been in love with you since the day you said you would stay with me. It reminds me of the day that I realized you loved me. That day I saw right through your defenses. It was a great day for me...that it was." she said, all laughter gone and seriousness taking its place.

Kenshin was dumbfounded. He couldn't make his mouth move to speak words, all he could think to do was reach his arms out and embrace Kaoru, much like he did before he left to Kyoto. Instead of fearing to return his embrace she wrapped her arms around him as tightly as she could. She wanted to cry at the release. She didn't feel scared anymore. She felt safe and warm, like when she used to when her father was alive and things were peaceful and wonderful. She breathed for the first time in a long time with perfect release and with her breath she said his name.

"Kenshin...".

"Kenshin..."

She speaks as though I am some sort of savior. Oh Kaoru, how can you love me? The same way I love her, is how she loves me, that it is. Kenshin, you are an idiot. He said to himself.

She felt even better when she hugged back. Her arms and hands were placed firmly against his back, and he had never felt so completely covered in all of his days. Like a warm blanket did her arms and loving embrace soothe away all of his doubts and fears. He felt as though he could melt right into her. Without loosening his grip he pulled his head back and as he did she looked up into his eyes, which were now yellow. Before Kaoru could comment, his lips came to hers with such a feather light touch; she had to lean into it to make sure he was truly kissing her. Then he deepened his kiss and took Kaoru utterly by surprise.

With such a small amount of skin touching Kenshin, it generated much more passion and love, than Kaoru had ever expected from a kiss. She heard herself moan lightly and felt Kenshin's kiss deepen even more. Her heart was throbbing and felt as though it could stop at any moment and she wouldn't have minded it one bit.

His tongue played gently at her lips, asking permission to enter. She granted him access and he tasted her sweetness. She felt herself shake and her knees go weak and she felt him tighten his hold on her falling body. At that moment she realized his heart was beating just as hard and fast as hers. Just before she felt she would faint, he released his hold on her lips and found her eyes with his.

"Kaoru, I love you...you honor me just by loving me the way you do." he said with earnest "I can't think of anything else but of the happiness you have given to me. I want to thank you just once more for...everything." Kaoru couldn't stop the tears that fell from her eyes this time. As they fell he kissed them away and before she could say anything he told her again without words just how much he loved her.

*****
Yahiko slid the dojo door open and quickly realized he was home alone. He looked around even more and found that the laundry hadn't been done, nor had the bathtub been used that day.

That is odd, Yahiko thought. Well, I am glad I brought some food from work to eat, since she isn't here to cook for me. With that thought Yahiko stuck out his tongue. Sure don't want to eat here all by myself. Feels weird. He thought as he shivered, he for one did not like to eat alone. Well, they are obviously in town; I will just have to bring them here. He gathered his bag of food and began to walk out.

"YEAUHHHH..." Yahiko screamed outloud. He rubbed his nose and looked up at Sanosake with daggers for eyes.

"Hey! Why don't you ever knock?"

"Why don't you ever watch where you are going, LITTLE Yahiko?" Sano said for good measure, Yahiko had hit him in a rather ...sensitive place.

"Well, where are you going?" he asked

"I was going to find Kaoru and Kenshin." Yahiko said.

"What? They aren t here? That is weird." Sano said fumbling with the fish bone in his mouth.

"Guess we should go see where they are. Hey! Can I have some of that food?" Sana said reaching for Yahiko s bag.

"Of course..NOT...go catch a fish." Yahiko said while restraining his need to whack Sano on the head with a bokken.

"Alright...SORRY.. Guess I will then, miser." Sanosake said as he turned to leave.

"Aww, come on, HERE.. just eat with me, ok?" Yahiko said handing Sanosake a bit of food. Sanosake looked at the little bit Yahiko had given him and scoffed.

"Tell you what...get your fishing gear, guess we should "pay" for dinner tonight huh? What do you say?" he said as he nudged Yahiko and gave him back the snippet of food.

"SURE!" Yahiko said as he whirled around and ran for the storage room. Sanosake wants to go fishing, with me? He gathered what he needed and bounded back out to meet Sanosake at the dojo gate. Together they walked to the riverbank, to that place where they knew they could catch the best fish.

******
Kenshin looked up to the sky and realized how late it was getting. Had the time truly gone so fast! It was already time for dinner, that it was, and Yahiko should be getting home by now. Kenshin looked at Kaoru sleeping in the nook of his arm and smiled. He took one of his own long hairs and tickled her nose until she sneezed and woke herself up. Kenshin laughed outloud while Kaoru stirred and rose to her elbows.

"How long have we been sleeping?" Kaoru said as she straightened her ribbon. She felt as though she had slept for a whole night.

"Well, about three hours I believe, but I think it was you who did the sleeping. Been through quite a lot, haven't you?" he said as he helped her to sit on her knees getting grass stains on her yakata. She nodded enthusiastically.

"Well, not only that, but I also haven't been sleeping very well. Been up for many nights, debating with myself on how to tell you, that I love you." she smiled and reached out to him and he welcomed her with his arms spread wide. She fell into him and buried her face into the bend in his neck. He held her until his senses caught up to him, realizing that they had better get home. He gently released her and stood up; as he did he helped her stand as well.

"Lets go home, Kaoru." Kenshin said taking her by the crook of her arm.."Lets go home, my love" Kaoru smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck pursuing him for a kiss. He was only too happy to oblige.

"THAT IS THE WAY TO DO IT, KENSHIN!"

"IT IS ABOUT DAMN TIME!"

Kaoru broke from Kenshin and muffled a squeal. Kenshin scanned the bank and saw that unmistakable white shirt.

"Oro?" Kenshin reached for Kaoru

"It is all right, Sano saw this coming...that he did...hehaha.." she just slapped her hands to her mouth and started to squeal again but inbetween Kenshin could hear her saying

"I am so embarrassed, SANO!" Her blush was so becoming of her. So ...cute.

Kenshin saw further down the bank at Yahiko rolling on the sand laughing so hard he couldn't breath. Sano was ...clapping? He walked up to Kenshin and bowed his head.

"Kenshin, you stand just a little taller than me tonight, but just a little. Good job." he rose and winked at Kaoru just as she was about to squeal again. Kenshin bursted into laughter, he couldn't help it. Embarrassed and very pleased was he, it was a very odd combination of emotion that tickled him to the bone. Soon, Kaoru and the others joined him, all laughing so hard their sides felt like they were splitting. They managed to make it home to the dojo, and celebrated with the fish Yahiko and Sano caught in the river.

The nights were getting colder, but it was perfect. The friends stayed gathered around the empty trays rubbing their full bellies relishing about the past. Sano could only thank the gods that Kaoru did not fix the fish tonight. He knew he would only stay a little bit longer before the adventure lured him to leave once again. He sighed in contentment, this was the place he could call home away from the adventures he had recently set himself out for.

"So, Sano, how long to you plan on staying with us?" Kaoru asked kindly as she picked up his cleaned plate.

"So anxious to get rid of me, huh, little missy?" Sanosake replied with mirth shining in his eyes. "I bet you just can t wait to get Kenshin alone with you, that is alright I understand." He chucked when he saw Kaoru blushing a lovely shade of red.

"Well, I sure as hell not going to leave until I get a wedding date from you two. I can t be wondering around the world just to miss my friends wedding, ya know." Kenshin sputtered on the sake he was sipping earlier.

"Ya, you guys, when is the wedding?" chimed Yahiko as he elbowed Sano, pointing at Kenshin s red face. Kaoru was just shaking her head keeping it as low as possible so no one could see her crimson cheeks. She liked but hated when attentions were focused on her. She couldn t believe that they had disheveled into her personal life, her love life for that matter. She was about to throw the plate in her hand back at Sano, but Kenshin s hands gently lie upon hers. She looked up into his eyes and saw that they were intent but kind, smiling with love. Like a violet sunset.

"So, Miss Kaoru, would you like to come outside with me for a moment?" Kenshin politely waited for her answer, and directed his glare at Sano, who was grinning like the idiot he was.

"I... Of course, Kenshin." Kaoru blushed even more when he kept a tight hold on her hand and hoisted her up with him. Kenshin slid the door open and before they stepped out, Kaoru turned around and stuck her tongue at Sano, who in reply gave her the finger and chuckled. "Go get him, missy."

Kenshin walked to the far side of the main room of the dojo bringing Kaoru along side him and swooped her into a mighty hold. She felt dizzy just for a second and then she stared up into his eyes, they had become yellow again, she noted to her self. I wonder what battle he is fighting now?

"Kaoru, when I first met you, I never dreamed that I would have found a place to call my home so easily. Then came people who became my family through the bonds of friendship. I was just thinking about all of it, and it seems that we, together, somehow make the kindness in this world work for the better." Kenshin kissed her gently, and he felt her heart quicken.

"Go on, Kenshin..." Kaoru managed to say after she pulled away from him.

"Since you came into my life and restored my faith in humanity, my path of atonement has become easier, and my burden lessened considerably, that it most certainly has. It is all because of you. I love you, very much Kaoru." He tightened his grip around the small of her back and splayed his hand upward to mold to her upper back, pressing her even closer to him. She moaned slightly, pushing her face into the bend of his neck. She inhaled loudly and smelled his maleness, and it intoxicated her very being. A few red strands of his hair curled delicately around her chin. She stifled a giggle for it tickled her, sending shivers down her spine.

"I want to humbly ask for you to be my wife in three months time, I truly do not want to delay anymore what has been wrongfully set aside for a minute longer .Indeed I do not . Will you have me Kaoru, as your husband?" He looked down into her eyes, catching them in his gaze. New tears began to form on her lashes and he waited for what seemed to be like hours, until she finally spoke. Her words were broken and full of emotion.

"Kenshin, I will have to humbly accept your offer. So, ..Yes Kenshin I will be your wife." She smiled and jumped up into his embrace. He let her down and proceeded to kiss her with more vigor than he, himself, expected to.

Kaoru's body reacted much more to this kiss, than to his previous kisses. She ached for something, something only he could give to her. Kenshin kept his mind purely on his lips touching her. He felt for the first time in a long time his passions rise within. He wanted her so badly, right now. He knew it would be a long three months and smiled inwardly to himself.

Kaoru then suddenly pulled from his embrace and fiery kisses. She became frightened when she felt the hard evidence of his arousal. Making it a fact that he was, after all, still a man. She turned herself around and placed her hands upon the rails that lined the main rooms porch. She felt a tender hand upon her shoulder. Her fear was suddenly replaced with guilt; now she knew he was going to go on apologizing profusely for going to far to fast. Before he could even start she whirled on him and energetically kissed his cheek.

"Come on Kenshin, lets tell the others!" she grabbed for his hand and quickened her pace toward the doors.

"Oro?" Kenshin said as he felt the tug.

Kaoru slid opened the doors only to find Yahiko and Sanosake eagerly placing their ears where the door had been moments ago. Of course they came, tumbling out after losing their balance.

"Real smooth, Yahiko, you dumbass." Sano said.

"Who are you calling a DUMBASS?" Yahiko shrieked throwing a useless punch at Sano.

"Now, Now try to calm down you two, Kaoru has an announcement to make, that she does hehe." Kenshin looked lovingly toward her.

"What? You already knocked, little missy up?" Sano said only to receive a sharp blow from Kaoru on his head. He laughed despite the pain.

"NO! We are getting married in three months! Ya happy now Sano? There, you have a date set, you are set to go now and stop eating me out of house and HOME!" For good measure she whacked him again only this time harder.

"Damn! I am sorry. That hurt! Geeze little missy." Sano said rubbing his head frantically trying to rub the pain elsewhere.

"That is great, Kaoru! Now you might be a little nicer to me huh?" Yahiko said hopefully. She scowled at him but then started to smile,

"We'll see Yahiko." He really is a great kid. She thought. Thanks to my help in his upbringing.

Kenshin studied her from afar, he loved to just watch her talk, yell, and move. He loved her even at her worst. There was something a little off though; he felt that she was troubled somehow. It was a negative presence that he hadn t really felt from her before. Although, his first reaction was to blame himself, he doubted that it was anything he did that caused the sudden disruption in her ki. He loved that as well about her, he could almost read her like a book and she had shown to him that she could do the same to him. Just perfect. He did want to find out what troubled her, that he most certainly did. It just wouldn t do for her to be upset about anything right now. He promised himself he would find out and make everything better for her, for both of them.