So, imagine this.
The bridge crew of the USS Enterprise are casually murdering Romulans like they've been doing it forever. When suddenly, Poof! A llama is running haywire around the bridge, accidentally trampling Wesley Crusher as it does so. Beverly tries to hypo it to make it pass out but for some reason it starts mutating into a huge MUTANT LLAMA! DUN DUN DUN! Riker's beard gets trapped in Geordi's visor as Tasha Yar vaporizes her own phaser. Silly Tasha Yar! As Picard runs away talking about diplomatic stuff that some people can find boring, Deanna Troi is arguing with her mother and saying "I can sense chocolate!" in a slurring voice, like she's Vulcan and has just got drunk on chocolate.
Barclay has been cowering in a corner since they first saw the Romulans, and has just escaped to the holodeck to take over the ship. It's a good thing the holodeck's under maintenance because of a virus that got into the computer system a few weeks back when a ferengi passenger used the holodeck and programmed it with his favourite program. Because you program programmes, not llamas.
Talking of llamas, the huge MUTANT LLAMA! DUN DUN DUN! Is currently using Wesley as a tap dancing floor. It appears his head is rather loud when trampled on, so Picard shouts "SHUT UP WESLEY" continuously.
Meanwhile, Data is skyping (Don't say they don't have Skype. It's a made up TV series) his favourite evil brother, Lore, and has no idea that Spot has just ran out of his quarters headed to the bridge.
AND BACK TO THE BRIDGE AGAIN! Worf is still daydreaming about his last bat'leth tournament and his huge victory night afterwards where he got drunk on bloodwine, So much so that Data had to carry him back to the beam down point before getting Klingon puke all over his uniform. Then, the huge MUTANT LLAMA! DUN DUN DUN! Is running straight towards him! He raises his bat'leth, before being thrown against the wall. It turns out he was imagining the bat'leth being in his hands. Seriously, this guy's worse than Barclay!
Then, the turbolift doors open and out comes Spot! YAY! And look who's accompanying the female tabby, (female tabby, I know right!) IT'S ENSIGN RO! DOUBLE YAY! Spot launches herself onto the huge MUTANT LLAMA! DUN DUN DUN! and proceeds to scratch its face off. Pity, it was a rather nice looking creature, all things considered. Oh well. It makes a noise that sounds like "Nywaaa!" but kind of high pitched before shaking Spot off and onto Wesley, who is still on the ground. Spot then gets scared and goes to back up Ro. It turns out that Deanna Troi was right about sensing chocolate, but probably not in the same way as the huge MUTANT LLAMA! DUN DUN DUN! Poops on Picard's bald spot. Then it's vaporized by Ro Laren's phaser because she's awesome. In the next 1.701 seconds she gets a knighthood along with Spot (Because in the 24th century girls can get them too!)
A few moments later, the ship blows up. KABOOM! Maybe they should have been paying closer attention to those Romulans they were in the middle of murdering.
A/N I have nothing against anyone who was in Star Trek, And I think Wesley Crusher's awesome. This time I had coffee though, he drew the short straw. I'm sorry Wesley!