Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but if I truly wanted to be sued, I would lie and say that I did.

Summary: High-school life has always been complicated. Throw the fact you grew up in the midst of a gang-cop war and you'd wish you were just normal. Welcome to the life of one Naruto Uzumaki.

Welcome To My Life

The alarm went off and a groan came from the occupant of a small run-down room. The shades were drawn back by another occupant and the morning sunlight shined down on the face of a blonde teen with three horizontal scars on both of his cheeks. The closed eyes scrunched even tighter in an effort to ward off the light shining down on him, until a cold liquid was thrown onto his face.

"GAH! COLD!" the teen shrieked as he shot up, revealing to the only other being in the room that he slept in black briefs and had a rather normal dream for a teenage boy, evident by the small tent in his pants.

"Oh, come on!" the one waking the teen shouted with a snarl, "Don't you have any decency? For god's sake brat, think of Baseball!"

"Fuck you, Kisame!" the blonde snarled to the man with four small scars underneath both his eyes. The blonde sat down and hunched over to keep any dignity he had, all the while glaring at the blue tattooed man with dyed spiky blue hair smirking at him. He had a black shirt with large white teeth open in the signature symbol of his favorite aquatic animal and dark blue jeans that were slightly baggy, being held up by a black belt. His nails were painted completely black and his dark eyes seemed to glisten with humor as he smirked at the young man.

"You're gonna be late on your first day of the end of your life," Kisame chuckled out before reaching to his back pocket and pulling a large modified six-shooter with a barrel reminiscent of a vertical elephant gun, "Ten seconds to get dressed before my Samehada takes a bite out of you!"

"Shit!" the blonde swore as he hopped from his bed and grabbed his black pants, forgoing a belt for the time being, and grabbing his orange shirt with "Talk Loud/Fight Hard" in black on the back. He fumbled with pulling them on before reaching his dresser and grabbing the black bandana with red clouds on it, tying it around his left wrist as he dashed out the door.

Kisame smirked and hoisted the large gun onto his shoulder, tapping it thoughtfully, before he spoke to no-one in particular, "He forgot to grab his brass...again."

The blonde stopped running as soon as he was in the broken and trashed main room of his caretaker's home. Lying on the broken and beaten couch, with a needle in his arm still, was an unconscious silver haired man with a pendant around his neck, as well as many deep gashes and cuts in his stomach. Next to him, on the floor, was a platinum blonde woman, her back exposed.

The blonde sighed and stopped, kneeling next to the woman and shaking her shoulder, "Yugito-neechan...wake up..."

Yugito groaned and slowly sat up, making the blonde's face heat up as he looked away to let her have her decency and save him a beating. She was clad in absolutely nothing from the waist up, but thankfully, she still wore her form-fitting leather pants (and hopefully underwear) that signified her position as a dominatrix.

"Wha? N-Naruto? Oh god, I didn't...we..." the woman stuttered as she tried to recall what had happened the night before.

"No, no," the blonde said, not making eye contact and keeping his gaze to the left, locked on the sleeping face of the silver haired man, "You and Hidan-nii probably passed out from your highs...again. Coffee? I'm already late to school..."

"You're a lifesaver Naruto-kun," the older woman said with a sigh as Naruto helped her up, without putting his eyes on her, and gave her the jacket and leather bra she came over with on. The older blonde blushed as the young teen gave her the more private articles of clothing and was touched he kept his eyes off her.

"Need a ride to school?" she asked. The blonde teen looked over his shoulder at her as he began making coffee for the house. He grinned thankfully at her and nodded before going to their fridge and opening it, nearly blanching when he did so.

"KISAME!" Naruto cried out in annoyance, a barking laugh echoed through the apartment, telling both blondes he knew what the problem was. Naruto scowled and pinched his nose as he pulled a large salmon out of the fridge, a bad salmon. Yugito covered her own nose as well, fully waking up from her high-induced slumber due to the smell.

One of these days, Kisame...I'm going to kill you for ruining the fridge...the blonde thought as he went to the nearest window and chucked the fish out of his home. Naruto went to the sink and rinsed his hands off before grabbing a coffee mug and pouring some coffee in it. He grabbed the creamer from the fridge and added nearly twice as much milk as there was coffee before stirring it with a spoon (which he made sure was clean). With a smile towards the older blonde, Naruto gave her the coffee.

"Thanks Naruto-kun," Yugito whispered with a smile before she took a sip of the offered drink. The spiky blonde smiled back before he looked at the clock and sighed.

"First day of my third senior year and already I'm in detention," Naruto grumbled as he grabbed a instant ramen cup from the pantry, checking the expiration date, before ripping the plastic lid off and stuffing it in the microwave. Yugito giggled at the distraught blonde, earning a pout from him.

"It's your own fault for going to that rave last night and coming home about three hours after curfew," she pointed out, making Naruto's pout grow as he fiddled with the headband tied to his wrist.

"Yeah, but still..." he whined, "School's overrated...why can't I just deal out like Zetsu and Tobi do?"

"Because, my dear nephew," a redheaded man with bags under his eyes and piercings over his face said as he walked into the kitchen from the back door, "Konan and I won't allow it."

"Morning Nagato-san/Nagato-ojisan," the two blondes said, making the tall redhead nod in greeting. The pierced man and leader of the infamous Akatsuki gang wore a red shirt underneath his black leather jacket. His black pants and white boots stolen from the Konoha Police Force were scuffed and dirty from whatever he had been doing to sabotage the KPF's 'War on Drugs'.

"Naruto," Nagato said placing his left hand on the blonde's shoulder as he sat at the table next to Yugito with his ramen in hand, "Konan and I may have low standards for your schooling, but it is essential that you do it, nonetheless. Finish your last year, for once...and I will ask for a favor to Kakazu to get you the money you need."

That seemed to make the blonde's mood brighten and he grinned, "Thanks Nagato-ojisan!"

"Thank me after this year," the redhead said before walking to the counter and making a cup of coffee, "And get to school."

"Yes sir," the blonde said, gulping his ramen down without a consideration of the word 'manners' before turning to the blonde sitting with him, looking at her pleadingly. Yugito smiled and stood, taking her coffee with her as she walked to the door, grabbing her keys off the bleeding and unconscious Hidan, before walking out. Naruto hurried after her, pausing only to grab his wallet from the desk next to the door, a few extra bills from Kisame's, and his backpack that had a small orange 'FOCS' on it.

"Thanks for the ride, Yugito-neechan!" Naruto called as he left her car, the smooth looking dodge squealing as the tires spun and she drove away once he was a few feet from the steps. Naruto scowled at the school before sighing and walking up to the doors, pushing on one and opening it with ease.

Damn I'm lucky, Naruto thought as he remembered when he realized in Yugito's car that the clocks in his apartment were all useless, due to the EMPs he had helped develop a year ago to stop the KPF from cracking down on him. The morning bell just rang, so I have three minutes to-

BRRRIINNNGG

"Damn...so close!" Naruto sighed as he hung his head before rushing towards his first (and least favorite) class.

History.

"Not even the third day and you're late already," his teacher sighed with a shake of his head as Naruto walked in, his face slightly flushed from his dash to the class. The man sighed and looked up, narrowing his eyes as he looked at the blonde and said blonde looked back at him, ignoring the snickers from the class as he was ridiculed by their bearded sensei.

"So? Got an excuse for me?" he asked. Naruto sweated under the gaze before sighing and hanging his head.

"No, sorry Asuma-sensei..." the spikey blonde said. Asuma Sarutobi sighed and shook his head, placing his hand on his face.

"I swear, you and Kakashi are the most time-less people I know," the chain-smoking history teacher said to himself, quiet enough so no one could hear him, before looking up with a scowl, "Because it's the first day, you get a warning...DON'T DO IT AGAIN!"

"Yes sir!" Naruto said, sitting down and dropping his bag on the floor. He sighed in relief as he leaned back and Asuma began introducing himself to the other students in the class. Naruto was jabbed in the side and irritably looked over at the redheaded teen with black circles around his eyes that had a red tattoo on his forehead, which was the kanji for LOVE.

"How was the rave?" he whispered, a hint of longing in his voice, "Sorry I didn't make it."

"Bah, s'alright Gaara," Naruto said to his best friend, "Didn't miss much. Whores, drugs, wicked beats and drinks...no cops, though."

"Hn, so I apologized for nothing?" the redhead asked. Naruto shook his head before looking forward when a question was directed towards him. After answering the random question, and accidently getting it right, Naruto looked back at Gaara.

The insomniac seated next to him was a year his junior and was the next biggest thug compared to Naruto. Both were known to hang out with Akatsuki members, get in bar fights, attack cops, and prank the crap out of random people. Gaara and Naruto had been together since they met in Juvie, nearly six years ago. Naruto had been arrested for not squealing on his uncle's drug ring and resisting arrest...violently. Gaara was arrested for killing his father, his reason for doing so being, "I hated him."

The truth was not that farfetched, as Gaara's father, while an important politic, was a poor father to the three children he had. Gaara's older sister had been beaten more times than he could recall and his older brother had bailed in fear of becoming the next victim of their father's drunken rage. It was one night that Gaara couldn't take it anymore. His dad was wasted and throwing another fit, preparing to beat on Temari, when he announced that he did in fact kill their mother. The insomniac, who had always believed his mother's death was somehow his fault (as she died in his birth) went berserk, stabbing the drunken man seven times in the back, ten times in the chest, and four times in his groin. Not in that order either.

Gaara was better now, though. Naruto's friendship and the consoling he had gotten in the Juvenile Hall had gotten him to a state where he could enter a sleep-like consciousness, resting his body without fully sleeping, and he hadn't had another homicidal urge like he used to have before it.

As Naruto returned to his thoughts on the class, a bell rung and he grinned. History sucked...but he loved the next class.

Naruto and Gaara both stood and left the room quickly. They barely made it to their lockers when a smug voice called out to them.

"OI! Retards!" a teen with long silver hair and sharp teeth made them turn and grin, or smirk slightly in Gaara's case. Suigetsu, a teen that had been held back so often he just dropped out, but showed up whenever he wanted to act as a janitor, walked up to them while wearing a sleeveless grey shirt and sweatpants that seemed to be more of a pajama-type of clothing. He had tape on his arms and several dark tattoos on both of his shoulders, the images being mirrored dragons.

"Suigetsu, what's up man?" Naruto greeted with a raised hand as his fellow flunky slapped it, "I thought you were doing that thing uptown!"

"That got shut down by the cops," the silver haired teen said with a shake of his head before holding a fist out to Gaara, "Yo! Gaara of the Funk, how's it shakin'?"

"Don't test my patience, Suigetsu," the redhead stoically warned despite returning the kind fist bump offered his way, "I've been well."

"Glad to hear it! How's your fine ass sister?" That earned him a punch in the gut from the two boys in front of him. Suigetsu cradled his stomach and coughed as the two rubbed their fists. The shark-like teeth gleamed as he grinned and said, "Well, well...Does a mister Uzumaki have a crush?"

"You know I don't think of Temari-neechan like that, Suigetsu!" Naruto exclaimed, slamming his locker shut and readjusting his backpack's strap that went over his chest, "Besides, I gotta get to class."

"Oh c'mon, guys," Suigetsu said, quickly walking around them and blocking their exit, holding his hands up in a surrendering manner, "I was kidding. Don't you want to know why I'm here?"

The two boys blinked before one crossed his arms and the other interlocked his hands behind his head, both their faces revealing their intrigued mindsets. The tattooed teen grinned, his sharp teeth gleaming slightly as he did so, before he looked around. With a sure thought that no one was looking, Suigetsu grabbed a small ball from his pocket, holding it up for the two teens to see.

"What are you gonna do with that? Kickstart your brain?" Gaara asked with minor disinterest. Suigetsu scowled and smirked before pulling a lighter out.

"School's canceled today boys," Suigetsu said, lighting the small smoke bomb in his hand and chucking it over his shoulder, "I got FOCS a gig."

"What/Where?" Gaara and Naruto asked. Suigetsu kept a smile on his face as the fire alarm went off, but he didn't say a word. Not even when the alarms suddenly went off and people ran out of the building.

As they evacuated the building, Naruto caught the eye of a young freshman being pushed around by the local jock of the school: Sasuke Uchiha. Praised as another 'Uchiha Prodigy' and the son of the KPF's Chief Fugaku Uchiha, the prick practically got off scotch free with whatever petty crime he did. The blonde clenched his fists at seeing the duck-assed hairstyle teen smirking as if he was automatically better than the freshman.

"Don't man," Suigetsu whispered, putting a hand on the blonde's shoulder before he could go intervene, "I know he's a prick, but still, don't. I don't want the KPF on my ass again. Especially not now."

"Fine," Naruto sighed before looking at Suigetsu with expectancy, "But I want to know what our gig is."

"A children's hospital," Suigetsu said, making Gaara and Naruto furrow their brows in confusion, making him grin when he continued, "Eastern Children's Medical."

Naruto's eyes bulged from his sockets and he fought the blush that was coming up his neck before looking at the ground, "J-Just get the damn car started..."

"Eastern Children's Medical...Isn't that where-?" Gaara started to ask before he was silenced by a meaningful glare given to him by the silver haired teen. They both looked at their blonde ringleader, only to grin when he grinned back at them.

"Better make the most of our day off, right?" he asked with a smirk, "Because once my guardians find out I bailed on the first day, I'm dead."

"God! Could this fucking day get any fucking worse?" a redheaded young woman exclaimed as she left Konoha High's east entrance to her car. She was dressed in a tan blouse and jeans that ended in the middle of her thigh. She had sneakers on and a black skull cap that caused her straight red hair to frame her face and cover her right eye unintentionally.

Currently, she was death glaring at her beat-up grey car, or rather, the keys that were locked within it.

Fucking great! Just fucking outstanding! She thought with pure rage as she turned around and sat down, smacking the back of her head against the door of her car. The redhead glared at the ground as she wrapped her arms around her legs and continued to think, First, that bastard pulls me out of my school, making me leave all my friends behind! Then, I have to move into that shithole of an apartment and wake up because of some dumbass' roommates! Throw in the creepy asshole of a landlord and then the random fire alarm that (thankfully) cut school short, and my day could have ended better.

"BUT NOW I'M FUCKING STRANDED HERE!" she exclaimed in a rage. As she huffed silently, a pair of blue and black Nikes appeared in her line of sight, she looked up to see a blonde with three marks on both cheeks smiling down at her.

"Hey..." he greeted somewhat nervously.

AN: And so we begin our fall into Naruto's life! READ N REVIEW! DO IT FOR THE COOKIES!