I feel awkward posting. It's been years. I don't really write fanfiction anymore. However I just had to write this ever since I saw this masterpiece: sherlockmadetea(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/22633186454/noxbocksty-not2be-cumberbones It was so beautiful I just had to get my thoughts out on paper!

I haven't read many pirate or merpeople fics in the Sherlock fandom. Anyone got any suggestions?

Pirate!Sherlock Merman!John

He had ordered his crew to take it to the brig and chain it to the wall. He'd caught sight of it at its capture. The magnificent body had practically glowed in the sunlight. It had not been easy though. The merman had overpowered two of his men; sending them careening over the side of the ship with a powerful swing of its tail.

Now that he was alone with it he could fully take in the creature before him.

"Fascinating." Sherlock said as he looked over the humanoid. "Absolutely fascinating."

He could have sworn that the merman, who was glaring for all it was worth, was blushing.

Sherlock dropped his eyes from the creature's fin-like ears to where the chest and tail were attached. He reached out a hovering hand over the bare skin. Its cheeks reddened instantaneously.

So it was blushing. How very…interesting.

"Would you stop that?" It snapped.

Sherlock's hand jumped as his eyes shot up into his hairline. Clearing his throat, he quickly regained his resolve.

"Apologies." Then he added, "Would you mind if I touched you for a moment?"

The merman's eyes narrowed savagely; sending a delightful chill down Sherlock's spine.

"Yes." It growled. "I would mind very much."

"Oh." Sherlock seemed to think this over for a moment. "It seems we've come to a standstill."

The merman lifted its brows in a puzzled expression when Sherlock suddenly began to speak again.

"Oh yes, I just remembered!" he said clapping his hands in mock glee. "You are my prisoner, and as such I should inform you that you have no say in any matter so long as this remains true."

"Then why the hell did you even ask my permission?" The creature shouted.

"Polite standards call for such things. I, however, am neither polite nor have many standards if any."

Sherlock leaned over the merman; a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Now then, let's start with the basics. How do your people reproduce?"

The next thing Sherlock saw was a large bluish-gold tail smacking into the side of his face and everything went black.

Fisherman!John Merman!Sherlock

He couldn't believe it! All those stories that he'd thought were just that—stories! Merpeople weren't supposed to be real! They were myths created by men with low self-esteem and told to others in order to get attention. And yet, against all odds, there it was. Pale and blue with scales glistening beautifully in the salty water.

John stood very still from his place on the dock. He was unsure of what to do. He'd heard tale to tale about merfolk but he'd never truly listened to what happened in them. Were they dangerous? Should he stand still and hopefully it would get bored and swim away? Or would it attack regardless of any movement on his part and should he arm himself?

Perhaps this one was friendly. Maybe he should say something.

John's breaths came softly as he tried to calm himself and decide the best course of action. The creature just stared back at him nonchalantly from its place in the water.

He gulped. Here goes nothing.

"Er…hello?"

The merman blinked.

"So, you're a…a merman? That must be, uh, interesting."

Well this couldn't get any more awkward than it was.

Suddenly John remembered the fishing net he was carrying over his shoulders. He blanched. Apparently, it could get a lot more awkward.

"Th-this isn't what it looks like!" He said stumbling over his words. "I'm a, uh f-fisherman see, but I swear I never caught or killed any merpeople! Honest! Please don't hurt me!"

His head spun as he tried to get a grasp on his words again. The merman lifted an eyebrow but said nothing. It was as if it had no idea what he was talking about.

The revelation that the merman couldn't understand him lifted the heavy weight of dying off his chest almost immediately. He felt like smacking himself. Of course it couldn't understand him! Merpeople didn't speak English!

He cleared his throat.

"Er, sorry about that." Then he remembered the merman didn't know what he was saying and decided to switch tactics.

"I'm John." He said, more loudly than his previous tone.

"Jooohn." He pronounced it more thoroughly to see if the merman understood.

The cold grey eyes stared at him.

John pointed to himself.

"Jo-hn."

The unearthly eyes seemed to roam over his attire talking in his arms, legs, and then back up at his face.

John couldn't help but feel he was being scrutinized. He decided did not like this feeling at all.

"What?" He snapped angrily.

Again, the merman said nothing. Though it seemed to sigh and look past him at his rusty boat. The boat, Miss Betsy, had served him for years. It was a good boat; a reliable one. And he hated that this…fish thing was looking at it so disdainfully.

"Oh sod off will you?" He shouted; surprising both himself and the merman. "I can't afford to live luxuriously and I happen to like my boat and my clothes very much. Just because you've got fins doesn't mean you're better than the rest of us!"

Silence.

John was starting to feel a bit embarrassed about yelling at a mythical creature that obviously couldn't understand him when something extraordinary happened.

"No, but having a higher intelligence does." The creature told him.

John promptly fell over in shock.

"Y-you can talk!" he squeaked out from his fallen position.

The eyes rolled in a human-like fashion.

"Obvious. You're a bit of a dull one aren't you?"

The patronizing voice shot right through John's ears and suddenly he could feel the self-righteous anger rising again.

"Hey, you don't even know me! What gives you the right to judge?"

The merman sighed.

"You humans are all the same. You see a shiny fish in the water then you all gasp and watch as it turns out to be a creature of myth. Then it goes either of two ways; one of which you humans go completely barbaric and try to capture it, or you just stare openly and decide later that you imagined the whole thing. Clearly, you are the latter."

John's hands fisted at his sides as he stood back up. He narrowed his gaze down at the merman.

"Well you can add this to you list then." He said in a low, authoritive tone. "This human is going to turn around and go back to his dull life. Though I'm not going to forget you or think that I imagined you. I know that you are real, and that you're also an annoying prick with whom I want nothing to do with. So don't bother coming back, arsehole!"

He then promptly turned his heel and left the slightly surprised merman looking at his retreating back from its place in the water. John didn't see the smile that crept onto the merman's face before it vanished back into the sea.

The human was much to interesting to ignore now. He'd be back.

I don't think there will any be more cuz these were just little ideas that popped into my brain. So please don't ask. However, you can take on a pirate or merfolk story if you want and use these as references!