Culinary Connoisseur
A/N: I thought of this little interaction shortly after looking into Tahm Kench's character, and particularly after seeing his Master Chef skin. Considering his love of food, I thought it would be interesting to write, if nothing else.
Due in part to her fame within the League of Legends, Morgana's bakery, the Sinful Succulence, had grown in popularity. She expanded into a few other cities, such as Piltover and Zaun, to help meet the demand for her baked goods. She even cooperated with the Summoners of the League to open up a small bakery within the Institute of War, as her pastries, particularly her cookies, were a favorite among the Summoners and some of the Champions.
As the day dwindled down, Morgana slid her last batch of cookies out of the oven and onto a cooling tray. She wiped away the beads of sweat on her forehead with the back of her oven mitt, sighing as she did. Today, just like any other day, had been as productive as it had been busy. The Fallen Angel pulled her oven mitts off and tossed them onto a nearby counter, without care for where exactly they went. She then began to transfer the fresh cookies from the baking tray to one of the display cases.
It wasn't until the tray had been almost emptied before she heard the chime of a bell. She kept a small bell on the front counter of her bakery for customers to use to get her attention. Strange, Morgana thought. Someone's here this late in the day? Regardless, a customer was a customer, and she strolled out to see who was awaiting her.
She did not expect to see a certain new Champion at her counter.
He easily towered head-and-shoulders over Morgana, his sheer bulk nearly spanning the length of her counter. He wore a mahogany suit jacket and vest, stained with mud in some places and tattered in others, both of which seemed to be a size too small. Slick, olive-green scales covered his body from head to toe. Stumpy legs supported his frame. One of his hands clutched the edge of his jacket, while the pudgy digits of the other curled around one of his thick whiskers. His broad head made the top hat adorning it seem out of place. His beady yellow eyes examined the pastries on display, and a slimy tongue licked the lips on his gargantuan, toothy mouth.
"Tahm Kench," Morgana said, attempting to hide her surprise. "I wasn't expecting anyone this late."
The sound of her voice drew the River King's attention. "Ah," Kench crooned, "so you're the one responsible for that divine aroma ah smelled. Ah couldn't resist takin' a look."
"You probably smelled my last batch of cookies," Morgana said with a small smile. "In fact, I'm just about to close up for today."
Tahm Kench hummed in acknowledgement, his gaze returning to the cakes on display. "Ah didn't know y' made pastries for a livin'," he mused. "They look mighty delectable."
"Baking's one of my hobbies," Morgana explained. "It helps me relax from League matches." She noticed the River King's interest in the cakes and decided to push a bit further. "You know, my cakes have won a few awards around Valoran."
"Have they, now?" Kench mused, a toothy grin playing across his broad face. "Well, y' had mah curiosity, but now y' have mah attention." He turned back to face Morgana. "Ah suppose a sample isn't out of the order?"
Perfect, Morgana thought. "I don't give out freebies, but you're welcome to try anything if you pay for it."
Tahm Kench chuckled, "Don't mahnd if ah do." With a final lick of his lips, his beady eyes settled on a particular cake, a beautiful, multi-tiered wedding cake. Morgana followed his gaze, but before she could protest, the River King's tongue lashed out, snatched up the cake, and pulled it into his gaping mouth. He chewed the cake only a few times before swallowing it. Tahm Kench grumbled contently, licking a small bit of frosting off his lip.
Morgana became furious. "I didn't mean you could take an entire cake!" she roared, her hands glowing with dark magic. "You know that's going to cost you-"
Tahm Kench burped loudly, cutting off the Fallen Angel's statement. "Now that definitely deserves an award!" he declared with a hearty laugh. "Ah must say, that's one of the fahnest cakes ah've ever tasted."
The sudden compliment threw Morgana off. "I… um, thank you," she managed to say.
"Ah do have a critique or two, if y' don't mahnd me sayin' 'em," Kench said. He interpreted Morgana's lack of a response as permission continue. "Overall, the cake was delicious, though the texture was a little off for mah tastes. A bit too dry, too light. It could stand to be more dense. Kahnda bland as well, aside from the icing. Speakin' of which, that icing is perfect."
Morgana's expression shifted from confusing to annoyance as the River King spoke. "I've worked on the recipe for centuries," the Fallen Angel fumed. "What makes you think you can just saunter on in here and 'critique' my baking?"
Tahm Kench chuckled, "Morgana, ah've lived much longer than you have, and ah've sampled just about every meal ah could find, includin' a wide variety of cakes. My taste palette is quite diverse and developed. Heck, ah even tried cookin' mahself. Mah success, though lucrative, was short-lived… but ah digress."
Morgana's anger faltered slightly as Tahm Kench explained, though she was still annoyed by his nerve. "What's your point?" she demanded.
"Mah point," Kench declared with a toothy smile, "is that ah'm perfectly qualified to judge your work. Call me… a culinary connoisseur."
"'Culinary connoisseur'?" the Fallen Angel scoffed. She shook her head with a chuckle. "Whatever you say, Kench. You still haven't payed me, by the way."
"Of course," Kench mused. He fished a satchel of coins from one of the pockets on his suit jacket and plopped it onto the counter. "Ah assume that'll cover it?"
Morgana opened the satchel and roughly counted the gold coins within. Her eyes widened slightly; she guessed there were nearly twice as many gold coins as were necessary. "Don't you want your change, Kench?"
"Keep it," the River King said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Consider it mah compliments to the chef." He tipped his little hat and turned to leave. He stopped after a few steps and said, "Do consider mah critiques. A touch more flour and sugar in your batter should fix it rahght up."
"I'll try it next time," Morgana assured him as she set the satchel of coins under her counter. After a moment, she added, "Thanks for stopping by, Tahm Kench."
"Mah pleasure," the River King grinned with another tip of his hat. With that, he waddled off into the Institute of War, likely to his quarters.
Morgana watched him leave, her fingers idly rapping against the counter. Once he vanished from sight, she returned to the tray of cookies she had abandoned and finished placing them into the display case. She was about to leave her kitchen when she paused to truly consider Tahm Kench's words.
Some of the judges did say the cake was a bit light, the Fallen Angel thought.