Ok, this is something I wrote when I was really board, and therefore, silliar then usual.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lemony Snickett. I do not own any of his charecters or places. I do not own A Seris of Unfortunent Events. I do not own the US. I do not own the world. What I do own is a small, imaginary, island called East New Bonga Bonga, where all my ideas take place. I also own Trina, and anyone else who did not come from the wildly wonderful mind of Lemony Snickett.

By the way, see if you can guess who has what address before you complete the story.
~

To: coffcoffbanker@baudilaire.com
reporterdarkgree@baudilare.com
poetblack@baudilare.com
bigtimereader@baudilare.com
sharptoothbaby@baudilaire.com
sadrecorder@baudilare.com
evilolaf@baudilare.com
alwaysin@baudilare.com
From: inventorgirl@baudilare.com
Subject:We've got mail!

Hey everyone! just letting you know that we all now have an E-mail system so we can E-mail each other. Have fun!
-Violet
~
To: bigtimereader@baudilare.com
From: poetblack@baudilare.com
Subject: We've got mail

Hi Klaus! It's great to be able to talk to you again. Have you read any good books lately? I wrote a new couplet:

Count Olaf is a horrible man
I hope we never see him again

Do you like it? And is Olaf still after you?
-Isadora
~
To: poetblack@baudilare.com
From: bigtimereader@baudilare.com
Subject: duh
Of course Olaf is still after our fortune. And I like your couplet very much.
-Klaus
~
To: sharptoothbaby@baudilare.com
From: evilolaf@baudilare.com
Subject: Ha-Ha.
Haha! I have you imprisoned FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
-Count Olaf
~
To: authorofthisfanfic@baudilare.com
From: evilolaf@baudilare.com
Subject: grr
Why does it have to be @baudilare.com? Why can't it be @olaf.com?
-Count Olaf
~
To: evilolaf@baudilare.com
From: authorofthisfanfic@baudilare.com
Subject: grr
Because the baudilaire orphans are the heroes and your just a stupid count.
~
To: alwaysin@baudilare.com
From: evilolaf@baudilare.com
Subject: virus's
Hahahahaha. I am going to send a virus that will wipe the hard drive to that annoying author. She's such a jerk.
Your love
-Count Olaf
~
To: authorofthisfanfic@baudilare.com
From: evilolaf@baudilare.com
Subject: (none)
:virus included:
~
To: evilolaf@baudilare.com
From: authorofthisfanfic@baudilare.com
Subject: haha
Haha! You can't destroy my hard drive because I control you. Instead, you sent me a list of your deepest, darkest secrets and now I'm going to tell them to everyone.
~
To: coffcoffbanker@baudilaire.com
reporterdarkgree@baudilare.com
poetblack@baudilare.com
bigtimereader@baudilare.com
sharptoothbaby@baudilaire.com
sadrecorder@baudilare.com
evilolaf@baudilare.com
alwaysin@baudilare.com
inventorgirl@baudilare.com
From: authorofthisfanfic@baudilare.com
Subject: Olafs secrets
heeheeheeheeheeheehee. Olaf tried to destroy my hard drive and instead he sent me a list of his deepest darkest secrets. Enjoy! (by the way, I put my comments in brackets)

Olafs Deepest Darkest Secrets
1) I am a cross dresser [we know that from the Shirly incident. (see book 4)]
2) I KILLED MY FATHER! NO! I AM MY FATHER! [ok, that was very weird]
3) I think Esme is a stupid b!+ch [so do I]
4) I am busy employing the worlds second greatest genius, (after me of course) Artemis Fowl to help me steal the Baudilare fortune. [like Artemis will ever work FOR someone. And if you're a genius, I'm a potato]
5) My favorite pet is a pastel pink bunny rabbit named foofoo. [0.0()]
6) I think the spice girls are cool. [AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU MUST BE EVIL!! (and I'm sorry if I offended anyone with that ;-)]
7) I hate steak. I hate putteanesca sauce. [raises eyebrow]
8) I'm scared of blood [and you call yourself evil?]
9) I KILLED BEATRICE!! mwahahahahahahaha. [hiss, hiss]
10) I must be a good guy because I recycle. [sorry, but no your not.]
11) I wish I had two eyebrows. [thats a stupid wish]
12) I have a tatto of an eye on my ankle. [No, really?]
13) VFD stands for