Dez was fidgeting his fingers with insanity while trying exceeding hard to pay attention in his English class. 'I hate English, what's the point anyway I already speak it why do I havta know what a fraken participle is. God Ms. Hanagen's nonstop yakking is driving me nuters!' While Ms. Hanagen is walking back and forth trying to explain the importance of the proper use of the participle, Dez's mind wonders the spaces between space. 'What if zebras where real? Would other animals also be stripped in white and black? I wonder if I could get and orange and purple zebra? Huh, Austin's birthday is on Saturday. I should do something special for him but what?' Stroking his chin Dez tries to figure out what on earth he could do for the best friend ever.
His attention suddenly being draw to said friend trying franticly to get his attention while the teachers back is turned. Finally getting his attention Dez sees Austin holding up a blue note car that reads, 'What are you doing Saturday?' Dez shrugs his shoulders not knowing what his plans are at the moment. Austin quickly turns around and scribbles something else down whipping back around to show him, 'It is my 17 birthday.' Dez nods and smiles knowing full well it is. Austin spins around once more only to return seconds later with another note, 'We should do something fun since Trish and Ally are still out of town with the record label reps., so it is just us!' Dez gives an exaggerated nod of agreement before he notices Ms. Hanagen turning around. He quickly looks at Austin then in the direction of the teacher nodding at her fervently. Austin catching the hint turns himself round as fast as he can, trying desperately not to get caught, again. Not wanting to get detention, yet again.
Dez watches as the blonde makes it just in time to not get caught. 'He's so funny when he panics.' Then noticing a funny feeling in the pit of his belly he lifts his shirt to see what's wrong. He sees nothing but his belly button. 'Mine's an inny, I like Austin's better, outies are cuter. Austin's outy is the cutest. But Austin is cute anyway. All the girls want him, all the guys want to be him unless their gay then they want him too. Sometimes I wish he didn't date them, than he would be just mine again.' Just as he was about to lose himself completely in his thoughts, he sees Austin smile at him and hold another card out for him to read, pointing at it energetically. 'He has the best smile it so cute and his lips are a soft pink like the innards of a watermelon and they make an adorably crooked smile.' Dez feeling that feeling in his belly again snaps out of thought just long enough to see the note, 'Meet me at the shake shop after school?' Dez nods and sighs, 'I love shaustin….' Shaking his head trying to right his thoughts, 'Wait…. I think I do love Austin and not just as a friend. No... no he is my friend, but do I….. well….. like him more than that. That's not right Dez he is our, my friend, on top of that he clearly likes women.' Pointing out to himself the girl in the front corner his friend was staring at.
'He would never return those feelings, if that is what these are. Which they aren't because he is my best friend and that would be just creepy. ' He snaps out of his head once more by the sounding off of the class bell. He walks up to Austin and they start planning their trip to get shakes after they have their last class of the day, which they have together. Plans set they split ways as Dez goes to his film class while Austin goes to his calculus class. A class his dad insisted on him taking.
As Austin walks to his class he finds himself loathing the thoughts that plague his mind, 'I wish I could stop pretending to be…..' He looks at himself and shakes his head in self-disapproval, 'this. I mean this is how I dress and act and I really do love to sing. I hate that I have to hide my love for him.' He sighs a long sigh, one that a person does when they let themselves fall into defeat. 'God I love him so much, all I want is for him to hold me, stay with me, love me. He is perfect! But he will never love me the way I love him.' As he walks down the hall he narrowly misses running into several people. Whilst still listening to himself in his head he finally reaches something that won't move for him, a red brick wall. Slamming the top of his cranium into the wall with all the force of his walking pace. Knocking himself to the floor with a thud he slowly slides back into reality in a woozy daze.
Next thing he realizes is his teacher talking to him, "Mr. Moon, are you all right? You completely missed the door to my class and hit the wall instead." Austin, still slightly confused, tries to stand but falters and finds the floor once more. "Mr. Moon do you need a hand?" Austin sits trying to gain his bearings only slightly registering what the teacher had just asked him.
"Ummm… yeah, I could." Austin looks up to see his calculus teacher holding out his hand. Reaching up he takes the teachers hand and the teacher taking his, pulls him up. Supporting his weight with his shoulder and wrapping his arm around his waist to add further support. Realizing that if not for his teacher he wouldn't be able to walk he says in hushed tones of embarrassment, "Thanks Mr. Bradely, and please call me Austin." As they start to move he falters once more, only for Mr. Bradley to hold him up. Austin chuckles a little at his predicament, "Thanks, again." He says knowing how ridiculous this must look. Mr. Bradley looks at him and smiles a little at his student's clumsiness.
"Call me Zachary, Mr. Moon…." He pauses and chuckles a little at himself, "I mean Austin. For a young man who can dance so well you sure can be clumsy. Now let's get you to the nurse to make sure you didn't damage yourself." As they walk down the hall Austin loses himself again, 'I wish Dez was here he would help me to the nurse and make a funny face to make me feel better. It would be so less awkward with him.' "You seem to be seriously lost in thought Austin. If you keep doing that you going to walk straight into traffic. So what's on your mind?" Zachary asks him with a look of genuine concern. Not sure what to say he just looks at his teacher with confusion. "You don't have to tell me, but I thought I might be able to help."
Austin stares for a few more seconds but then tries to start to express his mind, "It is just that no one really knows and I just am not sure where to start. You see…. well…. I guess…." Zachary stops walking and helps Austin to the wall so the blonde can speak with his hands a little better, and so he doesn't get wailed in the face. Zachary waiting for an answer moves his hand in a 'please keep going' gesture. " I am in love with my best friend but he will never feel the same way but its eating me up inside not telling him and I am not sure what to do cuz we've been friends forever and I don't want to lose that cuz I would rather have him as a friend than not at all but I just wish he would love me back if I tell him but that would never happen cuz he's straight and I am a freak and I am just so lost that I can't even walk without hitting a wall and I…. just..….. lost." Taking a deep breath, having just let himself speak himself into breathless. He looks at his teacher and starts again "I don't know what to do, I feel so helpless and stuck", he says looking down at his feet feeling very open and raw at the moment. Then slowly looks up to see Mr. Bradley. Who, by this point, has a look of shook on his face from the sheer wall of words just sputtered at him?
Finally able to put that all to mind he speaks, "One, you not a freak no matter what anyone says or thinks." Moving across the hall Zachary leans against the wall next to Austin. "Two, this is perfectly normal. So don't feel ashamed. See, I was like you once. I was hopelessly head over heals in love with my best friend Jason. One day I could not take it anymore and I told him. He didn't judge me or hate me for what I felt." Sighing he continues with a positive inflection, "We even dated for a few months, before we split. I think he just dated me to make me feel better but love that is one sided never lasts. We didn't talk for a while after that. Then eventually we talk it out and we've been best friends ever since, he was actually my best man when I found Allen and we got married." Zach sighs and smiles a little smile of happiness. "My point is you have to tell him or you will eventually stop being friends because of the stress of secret you keeping. I would do it all over again with Jason. I have no regrets. Real friends do that for each other. If he is your best friend he will understand and won't judge you." Turning his head to look at Austin he smiles and sighs remembering when he was young.
"You know I never wanted to take calc. but I'm glad I did. I really appreciate your advice! So thank you." He leans over and gives Zach a small sideways hug. "Now if you don't mind I think I need to go to the nurse now, cuz I feel really dizzy. Could you give me a hand?" Zach gives Austin his shoulder and they head to the nurse.
In the nurses office Austin sits on a cot waiting for the nurse to look him over. Checking his eyes she goes, "Hmmmm… well Austin it looks like you gave yourself a good bump and a mild concussion. So I am going to call your folks and have them take you home. Mr Bradley I thank you for helping him here." the grey haired women says with a sweet voice and a kind smile.
" Ummm... Mrs. Merken, my folks are out of town but my friend Dez can take me home." He says with a small smile at Dez's name.
"Fine then I will sign you both out for the day and Mr. Bradley…." She turns to look at him.
"Yes, Midella?" he answers politely.
"I need you to fill out the paperwork since you found him, and I think you class could use its teacher back." He smiles and laughs at the humor of the older women.
"Yes I will get that to you soon, and Austin good luck." He winks and smiles as he walks out of the room.
"What was that all about?" She turns to look at Austin hands on her hips. Awaiting an answer.
"He just gave me some advice and was wishing me good luck on it working out." He says a small sigh escaping his lips.
"Ahh... to be young again everything is still so new." She laments to herself. "You better call your friend." She sits down and starts some paperwork while Austin starts to dial. Pulling up his ginger haired friend's number he smiles and thinks, 'tonight I will tell him how I feel!' Pressing send he waits for Dez to answer. Upon hearing the other end being picked up he starts to speak, before Dez can start another tangent. "Hey buddy! I need a ride home, we both get the rest of the day off. So hurry up." Hanging up after Dez says his peace he is alight with happiness. He sits and waits for Dez to get there, thinking silently to himself.
Alerting him from his thoughts Mrs. Merken taps him on the shoulder. "Austin I need you to sign this." She leans over and hands him a sheet of paper. "You know you light up when you talk to him. I hope he knows how special he is to you." She says with a grandmotherly smile.
"Not yet, but he will!" He says with a sigh just as Dez
walks in.
Looking concerned Dez asks, "Man what's wrong?"
"Not much just bumped my head, ya know like that time when you were at the park."
"Yeah cuz I saw a so called "real" zebra." He says sarcastically using air quotes on the word real.
"It was real! I was not expecting to see it either, but they are real, I guess." He shrugs and laughs at his friends stubborn ideas.
"I still think they're just painted. Any way come on lets go I need to carve some ice when I get to your place. My Marilyn melted. She completes my famous actress collection. I can't go without her." He waves to Austin to get a move on.
"Can't have that collection wi…"
"Echem... before you go I need you to sign this Dez." the nurse interrupts handing Dez a sheet to sign. He signs it with a quick messy stroke of his hand. "He is also going to need help getting to the car."
Dez nods and walks over to Austin and leans his shoulder down so Austin can use it to help himself up. "Come on buddy lets shoot the breeze", he says as he stands up with Austin.
" Ummm...… I think that means something else." He says as he leans against his friend. He sighs, thinking of later that night when he will tell Dez his true feelings. Austin hoping the red head will take the news of his love okay, leans a little further into his friend.
"No I'm right! It means to move quickly out of a place." He says. As he feels his friend against him, Dez getting that feeling in his stomach again, 'I think I am in love with my best friend. I can't believe it but I think I have been for a long time. Probably as long as people have been appointing horses to look like zebras.'
"Your right, that is what it means." He says with a content sigh. As they leave the nurses office he thinks to himself,' I even love when he is wrong and knows he's right.' Austin then looks at his friend and asks "So since its Friday do you just want to stay at my house and hang for my birthday?" Looking at his friend with a hopeful smile he thinks,' I hope he loves me the way I love him.'
"Sure might as well, but let's go before it gets too late out. I don't want to be out today." He says with a sound of paranoia in his voice. Austin looks at him quizzically. "There have been platypine sightings in the area. I hear their quills really hurt," he says with a rub of his rump.
"Kay, Dez. What's a platypine?" he asks as they leave school and head for home in Dez's bright orange convertible.
okay, this is my first chapter of the first story i have ever writen. i hope you like it. please review and let me know what you think of it. i will always take criticism that is constructive ( this excludes flames). idea's are always welcome. so until next time PEACE