Stirrings in the Wind
o
o
I don't love you.
No matter how beautiful you are,
No matter how strong you are,
No matter how powerful you are…
o
I don't love you.
I don't.
o
You can never own my heart.
How can you?
It is a heart that pounds in the inexistence,
A heart that will never be mine.
A heart that longs to beat for you, my angel.
o
But mere longing awakens not the life of something dead,
That is why I refuse to long for you,
A lord who offers nothing,
Only cold stares and cruel words.
Yet what can I offer?
Nothing.
o
And definitely not love.
o
I shouldn't love you.
I am born of evil,
An incarnation of darkness and of sin.
I do not wish to taint you, to stain your celestial presence
With the vileness from whence I came.
o
I should curse your perfection,
Instead, I bless it.
For it is my salvation.
No matter how unworthy,
Or impure I am for you.
o
All I want is to burn in the fire of your gaze,
In the feel of your hands,
Moving across me,
To hear your voice,
Your voice, like whispers in the wind,
Your lips,
Your beautiful lips…
o
But I shouldn't think this.
I shouldn't!
o
Still…I want to love you.
With every fibre of my being.
But should evil love? Can evil love?
Can evil be loved?
o
I want to belong,
To belong to someone other than he
Who fills my already polluted soul
With hatred.
o
I want to belong to you, my prince.
But can it be?
How? How can it ever be?
If it is impossible for the sun
To meet with the moon in the sky,
If fire can never be one with water,
How can I ever be with my lord?
o
I can't.
But I want to.
o
I want to touch that moon kissed forehead,
A mark I forever remember when I gaze
At the glowing crescent in the heavens.
I want to be with you,
I want to hold you.
Please let me hold you.
o
Please…
o
Let me love you.
Before my temporary existence
Is snatched from me
Before I close my eyes,
Against the wind forever.
I wish to feel you.
o
Let your eyes roam free upon me,
Those cool, secret holding eyes,
That seek out truths,
Yet hide your own.
o
Let me experience the warmth
Of your strong arms around me,
Protecting me, loving me.
Before I join the breeze
That plays so lovingly
With your moonlit hair.
o
It's impossible.
I can't.
o
But only from a distance do I dream
A distance made greater
By every call of a dark master
With every beckoning of my vile punisher.
My freedom is a mere illusion.
And no one can help me
Not even you, my powerful lord.
o
I cannot reach you,
I cannot touch you,
Yet this matters not
Because I don't love you.
I cannot love you.
I mustn't.
I shouldn't.
o
But I do.
And I always will.
…Sesshoumaru.