DISCLAIMER: I do not own Total Drama... duh.
AN: First off, I published this once before, but something happened and the entire file was replaced with another one of my stories. I do not know how and why it happened, but it did. I deleted it, and now I'm uploading it again, this time correctly. Also, before I offend many people from southern USA, I want to point out that neither me nor Scott believe that everyone from there is stereotypical redneck. These are all annoying stereotypes made by others that go well with the story, considering Scott's "trailer trash" background. Enjoy!
Scott's Journal Excerpt, 8/24/12
People keep asking me why I like Dawn so much, and why she likes me. Well, it's complicated... okay, screw it, it's not complicated. I'll begin with a story from my past, about early high school.
I was fifteen years-old, an unathletic, country music-hating atheist in the Redneck capital of "'Murika!'", so you could say I got bullied a lot. The kids, they called me the Infamous Sinner, the Hellbound Hater, the Skinny Skank, among more explicit ones. There was one group of boys lead by the "great" Gary Gillespie, called Gary's Gang, because, y'know, they were just SO creative. Anyways, on the first day of sophomore year, I had just arrived to fourth period after taking a brutal beating from Dusty Lewis, one of Gary's goons. I had went to the nurse, and went through my usual routine:
"Scott? What're you doin' here today?" the nurse would ask me.
"I slipped and fell in the hallway," I would lie, pointing at my bruised area, whether it be a part of my leg, arm, chest, or forehead.
The nurse would always raise an eyebrow and shake her head. "You sure fall a lot, Scott."
I would force myself to chuckle and nod. "Oh, clumsy me."
Then we would have a brisk good-bye and be on our ways. I liked the nurse a lot; she never dug to deep into my personal life, made me laugh, and never discriminated against me. She was a good person.
So, once I had arrived to class, I noticed a new girl sitting next to the only open seat. She was tall, tan and pretty, with chocolate-brown hair and deep green eyes that glistened in the light. In short, everything I'm not.
"Hi," she greeted as I sat down next to her. "I'm Selena. You?"
"Scott," I murmured, taking out my History notebook. I looked at the clock and noticed that I still had two minutes until class started, so I decided to engage in some small talk with her. "Where ya from?"
"Muskoka-and before you ask where the heck is that, it's in Canada, otherwise known as America's hockey-loving cousin!"
We shared a laugh, and I found myself smiling. "So where do you live? Stonefield or Clarktown?" Both kids from Stonefield and Clarktown went to the school, for it was a large school and those were two small adjacent towns. Stonefield was where the nice, upper middle-class suburbs were located, full of two-floored houses, dogs in every nook and cranny, and white picket fences with neatly-mowed lawns. Clarktown was the more redneck, trailer trash side... y'know, like me, but without the "redneck".
"Stonefield," Selena replied, which I figured. "What about you?"
"Clarktown, but we're looking for a Stonefield house," I answered. Believe it or not, that wasn't a lie. Mother had gotten a promotion at her job, which means we could probably afford a Stonefield house.
"Cool!"
The bell rang, which pretty much ended my happiness for the period. I managed to survive it, though; we talked quietly during lessons, and never got caught, and passed notes and showcased doodles to each other. It was pretty fun. It was even better when I found out that she was also in my lunch, Algebra, and Band class.
The next couple of months were good, quite good. Once it got around that I was hanging with Selena, going over to her house and meeting her at the mall and the movies, most of my bullies lessened up on their fire and hung back with teasing, more often than not having conversations with me out of admiration that I could become friends with a girl like Selena, who instantly became popular, which was easy to see, I mean, she was rich, pretty, religious, smart and nice. What's not to like?
And then came January twenty-seventh.
Selena was diagnosed with leukemia a few weeks ago and was stuck in the hospital. For a couple weeks, she seemed to be getting better, to the point where I could visit her after school and talk about the latest gossip, how the Nashville Predators are doing, and other generic stuff like that. Bullies completely stopped bullying me during this time. They may have been discriminating, stereotypical rednecks that give the rest of us southerns a bad name, but even they had standards. Not even Gary would bully a guy who's best friend was in the hospital.
But on January twenty-seventh, Selena had died, and everything changed.
I don't know if I can properly describe how I felt when she "went". It was like... like... oh, I can't compare it! It was horrible! Selena was the first person that had ever understood me, the first person who didn't hate me because I didn't enjoy playing sports or listening to Toby Keith, and the first person who didn't discriminate against me because I was atheist. We had divulged all our secrets to each other, laughed, cried, and threw fits of rage with each other. She filled up a space in my brain, and a space in my heart. She was a part of me, and I couldn't live without her. I couldn't. There was a feeling of emptiness in my stomach, a never-ending headache, a stinging, burning pain that erupted in every step I took afterwards. I was never the same. I became bitter, angry, manipulative and cold-hearted. There was no use being to nice if there was no one to be nice to. I kept all of my feelings holed up inside me, and it was horrible. However, that wasn't the end of my yearsof despair.
Three days later, Mother was fired, and we were forced to go from a ratty one-story home to a rattier trailer. We had no money, and I was forced to wear the same old wife beater day after day. The only reason we weren't homeless was Pappy's crappy job at the factory.
So then I found about Total Drama.
I was over at my grandma's middle-class house, with a color TV and everything, and was watching a baseball game when a commercial appeared, with Chris McLean on the screen and him talking about accepting audition tapes for the next Total Drama series. My face lit up, and I borrowed my grandma's video-camera and taped a... rather unpleasant video. I sent it to Fresh TV Industries, and got a letter a few days later saying I was in.
I couldn't hold back my excitement. A chance to win a million dollars and get out of this hellhole for a couple weeks! If I won, I move me and parents to a nice place in upstate New York or Maine or Vermont, a place where life was slow and good and the air was fresh and everything was all rural... oh, I could just imagine starting life anew! It was perfect!
But of course, I was still angry, bitter, and manipulative.
I managed to put up a pretty good facade, and made it pretty far, but there was always that painful feeling in my gut. Why couldn't Selena have lived, so we could've entered together? Competed together, lost or won together, lived together... it would've been so great! So perfect! But it wasn't perfect, and it would never be perfect again!
Until I met Dawn at the Playa.
Also, in case you didn't know, that whole me-turning-into-a-robot thing was all fake. I had really only needed crutches, but Chris thought that was boring and made a false ScottBot using some Hollywood-style props and a stuffed face mask and made sure I was out of every shot in the finale,
Besides that, the day I arrived at the Playa was the day I dreaded the most. I didn't really care about B or anyone else I got voted off, and they didn't care about me, for most of them were genuinely good people that learned to forgive and forget. But Dawn... she was really steemed, probably because she KNEW, even before it happened, that I was no good. I had apologized to her again and again and again, but only a couple days ago did she finally forgive me, which was refreshing. I would do anything for acceptance, for she just reminded so much of Selena. Once we became good friends, it was like having Selena back again. Dawn was just so calm, relaxed, and kind, one of the best people I've ever met. Every second with her was slowed down in my mind so I could enjoy it more, every day I would wake up and walk across the hall, knock on Dawn's door and we'd go to breakfast together and talk all day long. It was perfect. She never cared about my background, my flaws, my atheism. She tolerated my beliefs and focused on the good things about me, just like I'll always do to her. She's just like Selena... Oh, but it's not fair to compare them! Selena was irreplacable, while Dawn's unique. They are different people. Maybe I like Dawn not because of Selena, but because of... I... I like her. I love her, even. I thoroughly regret voting her off, and I wish we could redo it so I got voted off instead if I could. I would love to be with her forever, and I can only pray that she feels the same way.
To me, Dawn is a breath of fresh air, and I'll never forget her.
Dawn smiled and clutched Scott's journal that she may or may not have found on the floor of his room and was looking at while he was in the bathroom.
"I do, Scott," she whispered softly, tears trinkling down her cheeks, "I do feel the same way."