Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything, I'm just playing with them. They belong to Dick Wolf
With aplogies to Clement C. Moore
Revenge: Goren and Eames Style
T'was the night before Christmas and in New York City,
The stores were all decorated, looking festive and pretty.
New Yorkers joined in with the holiday theme,
Except for two detectives named Goren and Eames.
Their boss was a pain and being an ass.
Their request for a day off, he just would not pass.
So up in the squad room, all gray, dull and frumpy,
Sat Goren and Eames, all sullen and grumpy.
"It's just not fair!" Goren roared at Ms. Eames.
Since the day that he got here, I've just wanted to scream!"
Eames felt no better as she gave Goren a look.
"I think we all agree that the captain's a shnook.
It does us no good to whine, shout and bellow.
We need one of your plans to get revenge on the fellow."
With a smirk full of mirth and a devious nod,
Goren's brain cells kicked in; he'd get rid of that clod.
Eames watched as he paced back and forth 'cross the room.
Poor Ross would be toast before the clock struck high noon.
Goren swung suddenly, his finger poised in the air.
"I think that I've got it, that is if you dare!"
Eames looked in his eyes, at the passion within,
And nodding her consent, gave an answering grin.
In the man standing before her she'd entrusted her fate.
To get off this ride was already too late.
"Just what have you planned with your warped, little mind?
Please make him pay, be strong, and not kind.
For he bothers me, too, with his Mike Brady hair,
Let him know it's not wise to screw with this pair."
"What worries him most? What is it he's scared of?
It's that you and I care and one day just might make love.
Don't give me that look, Eames, you know that it's true.
He sees what's between us; how much I want you.
Let's feed his great fear, hear his screams and his rants,
When he realizes in his office, I got into your pants.
No badges, no clothes, no holster, no gun,
Just you and me on his desk; making love, having fun.
And when the CSU tests the desk's DNA,
The men in white coats will take Ross away.
And then we'll be free to live, laugh and love,
And get rid of corruption from the floor up above.
We'll rule the world or our little part of it.
This is meant to be, we can tell them to stuff it.
What do you say, Eames? Should we give it a go?
Or sit at our desks looking out at the snow?"
He leaned close to her, lips mere inches away.
He wanted to hear what he partner would say.
"I think you have planned this from beginning to end,
You're trying to seduce me, my partner, my friend.
I'll go along with your plan, do just what you said,
But just so you know, the next time's in a bed."
Goren and Eames got busy that day,
And men in white coats took the captain away.
And what, you may ask, is up with our pair?
Just as Ross feared, there is love in the air.
Now happily married and with a child in tow,
Every Tuesday morning to the asylum they go.
Along with some diapers, some food and a nanny,
They visit Captain Ross with their little son, Danny!