Pick Your Poison
The first task of the Tri Wizard Tournament was over, and the entire Gryffindor Tower seemed to be heaving a collective sigh. For the haughty showoffs the red and gold clad students normally were, the Common Room was uncharacteristically quiet.
What wasn't odd was Hermione sitting in an overstuffed armchair by the fire rewriting an Arithmancy Essay which would have earned full credit two drafts ago. Ron and Harry were lounging on the floor in front of her playing their third round of wizarding chess. Harry hadn't improved at all.
A great BANG broke the silence. The painting of the Fat Lady bounced against the wall and a faint "ow!" echoed in the tunnel. Fred and George emerged, beaming.
"Fellow Gryffidors!" They chimed harmoniously, "We have found the cure for the boredom that ails you this day!"
Hermione looked up from her parchment, unimpressed, while Ron and Harry pushed themselves to their elbows for a better look.
"What are you on about now?" Questioned Ron.
"We have created a new exciting game!" started Fred.
"And you three are required to participate," finished George, pointing at the trio in front of the fire.
"Exactly what is this game you've come up with?" Hermione asked snobbishly.
"And why are we required to play?" added Ron.
"That is an excellent question, little brother!" George began with an evil smirk. "You're included because, as our younger brother, we relish any opportunity to humiliate you in front of your peers."
Ron simply glared.
"You, Hermione, are coming as part of our personal challenge to prove that you can enjoy something other than schoolwork." Fred continued.
"You didn't answer my -"
"And HARRY must come because he was not only an inspiration for the game, but his popularity will attract more players!" Fred finished.
"And it's made to be more fun with more people." George amended.
"WHAT GAME?" Hermione said, fed up. She hated unanswered questions.
"All in good time," Fred placated. Hermione huffed.
By now the common room was abuzz with the welcome commotion the two had brought. Several groups had started chattering with interest about what mischievous game the twins could think up.
Hermione scoffed.
"And what makes you think we would play a game you won't even explain?"
"I'm in!" Lee Jordan interjected.
"I suppose we can't make you play," began Fred in a sleazy tone. "We could always use Hedwig, Crookshanks, and Pig instead."
The three stiffened, eyes wide.
"You wouldn't." Harry whispered.
"We can guarantee it won't be fatal or permanent." George promised.
"But…we haven't ever tested on animals." Fred mused, looking innocently up at the ceiling.
The hum of the common room had halted. All eyes swiveled form the twins to the trio.
When they finally entered the dungeons, Fred and George were followed by eleven Gryffindors, three Ravenclaws and two Hufflepuffs.
Fred slipped behind a lone suit of armor to emerge with a large bag. It clinked with the sound of knocking glass.
George instructed the group to sit in a large circle. Most shifted nervously as they settled to the cold stone.
Bright eyes watched with rapt attention as Fred began to slowly remove the contents of the bag. One by one, he carefully revealed several bottles of varying colors, shapes and sizes, gently placing them in the center of the circle. All were corked and filled with strange liquids.
Harry heard the Hufflepuff girl give a hard gulp.
George plopped down next to Lee, cross legged.
"We'd like to reiterate our promises, dear students, that all effects will neither be harmful nor permanent. You'll be back to your respective states of being by the time the game is through."
"Or at least by your Arithmacny class," added Fred as he placed the last bottle with a final clink.
"What do you men 'back to our respective states?'" she asked the question quick and high pitched.
George smiled.
"The name of this game is called 'Pick Your Poison.' Fear not!" he threw open his arms in a flare of drama, clearly basking in his classmates eyes upon him. The gazes ranged from nervousness to terror. "No vial here actually contains any poison. What they DO contain," he continued, excitement building, "are various…concoctions created by Fred and me."
"And maybe a few Snape'll never miss anyway." Fred mumbled just loud enough for everyone to hear as he plopped down next to his twin and Lee.
"Wait a minute; I'm not drinking any potions you guys made up. How thick do you think I am?" Ron interjected indignantly.
"Rest assured, we've used Ministry approved potions," he rolled his eyes, gesturing air quotes around the words, "for this first time."
"Or at least as bases."
"Don't scare em', Fred."
"It works like this," Fred continued, speaking over his brother, "Each of you in turn will sample one of our potions. We all observe the effects, chortle at their misfortune, and then on to the next contestant. We'll go in order around the circle."
"And, as a show of good faith," said George.
"We'll go first," they chimed in unison.
Angelina narrowed her eyes at the pair.
"That's not fair, you know what's in the vials!" she accused.
"Ah, but we don't! We know the range of potions but not what each vile contains." George explained.
"But fair point, why don't you choose for us." Fred offered, sweeping his hand at the display of bottles.
Angelina smiled and lurched toward the potions with relish, quickly examining them, trying to distinguish the nastiest of the bunch to force upon them. She glanced up at the two after looking at each one, but their faces told nothing. Finally relenting she placed the tallest of the vials, a dark crimson in color, before Fred.
Fred smiled, grabbed the potion and uncorked it with relish.
"Bottoms up!" and with that he downed the potion without hesitation.
The onlookers stared, wide-eyed and attentive, waiting.
Then it began. It started with Fred's flaming red hair. The locks faded in color, becoming peppered with strands of gray. His hairline quickly receded, his forehead wrinkling and face drooping. Suddenly, Fred had aged forty years—at least.
"Aw, of course I get the left-overs," Fred complained, now looking at his wrinkled hands. He looked crestfallen.
"Actually, you look a lot like Dad," commented George.
"You take that back!" Fred elbowed his brother playfully.
"An aging potion?" Hermione inquired thoughtfully.
"Isn't that what they tried to use to get passed the Age Line?" asked Harry.
"Yeah, we had some extra," Fred said before pointing his wand at the nearest knight statue and chanting "accio". The helmet flew off and hurtled toward him. He caught it just before it could smack him roughly in the nose. He rubbed a sleeve on the sheen metal, examining his reflection amusedly.
"Bit of a boring start," George whined. "Quick, someone choose one for me!"
This time it was Ginny that leaned into the center of the circle and deftly plucked a bottle she had been eyeing with no fuss of searching through the mess of potions. She tossed the small cube shaped bottle to her brother while the rest of the group murmured excitedly amongst each other. Harry could overhear the Ravenclaw boy and Hufflepuff girl debating choices for themselves. He and Ron exchanged a look that gave away a mounting excitement.
Hermione was still huffing.
George struggled with the cork a moment before it finally released with a pop. There was hardly a mouthful in the bottle and a moment later he had down the concoction. The room was dead silent. After a second George began pursing his lips. Except that his lips didn't stop. His mouth stretched and elongated into a flat, smooth duck bill.
The room erupted in laughter.
George reached up to examine the new appendage, eyes crossed in an attempt to look at it. At this point Ron fell completely onto his back in fits of laughter and even Hermione had cracked a smile. The elderly Fred also reached out to feel the smooth new fixture.
The only one left silent in the group was the nervous looking Hufflepuff girl next to Angelina whose face was a shade that made her look like she might very soon be sick.
"You pull that off quite nicely," chortled Dean.
George revived the dying laughter with a loud QUACK. Harry had to cross his arms to hold upright. When the room was again quiet enough for him to be heard, George turned his bill to Lee.
"So Lee," he began, eliciting more giggles from the crowd as his bill flapped as he spoke, "Should we choose for you?"
"I'll be choosing for myself, thanks," Lee answered smartly, leaning forward. His eyes quickly scanned the collection before he picked the clearest bottle of the group. Brashly the bottle was open and down his throat before anyone could quiet down. He instantly doubled over with violent coughs.
"That-" Lee pulled a face as he tried to speak through the coughs, "That was…no potion…that…was just straight liquor!"
Hermione immediately bristled, sputtering incoherently, face turning red.
"How does that fit your requirements for not harmful?" accused the scared Hufflepuff, knuckles white in a death grip on her robes.
"How does it not?" laughed Fred.
"'Neither harmful nor permanent,' right? I believe both those still apply here," added George. "You probably won't even feel it in the morning."
"Where did you even manage to get that?" Hermione finally managed indignantly.
"Well that's for us to know," started Fred, "And for you to never find out!" George completed.
Next was one of the two Ravenclaw boys next to Lee, the first of which had already begun searching excitedly through the bottles while George patted Lee on the back as he coughed the last of his drink down. The pear shaped bottle he decided on had resulted in his ears migrating to form a pair of tabby cat ears on the top of his head. The room giggled as the ears twitched to track the sound of their voices echoing off the stone walls of the dungeon. The lighter atmosphere had calmed the more nervous Ravenclaw next to him, and the second boy darted forward to grab a wide green bottle with an even wider opening. After removing the large cork, the boy frowned at the mud-like substance bubbling inside.
After a few false starts, a head shake and a grimace, the potion was downed. It was immodestly evident that the boy had become uncomfortable, twisting a face as he looked sick. To his surprise, Harry recognized the effect, stomach churning a brief moment in remembrance as the Ravenclaw boy's sandy hair turned a flaming. A moment later a third twin sat in the boys place.
The group gave a collective gasp. Hermione, eyes wide, opened her mouth to speak, but after catching Harry's gaze shut it again. The message had been communicated—she had no place to speak.
"How did you make a potion like that?" Katie asked in wonder.
Fred shrugged.
"Snape probably didn't have a use for it anyway." The original twins shared a less than pure smile before Fred passed the ancient helmet-turned-looking glass to the Ravenclaw boy to stare at agape.
They had finally reach the Hufflepuff girl who still looked about to faint. Her countenance hadn't improved and her eyes darted nervously over the potions in front of her. A single nail was held at her mouth, chewed to a nub. As a shaky hand started to reach out, an annoyed grunt made her jolt back, like a startled animal.
Harry looked up to see the currently cat-eared Ravenclaw leaning away from a very obviously no longer sober Lee who had reached over to tug at the new fuzzy additions.
"They look so soft," Lee slurred. George laughed but reached to pull his friend away from the disgruntled Ravenclaw who looked about ready to hiss. Lee turned to look at the intervening red head, swaying a moment before grasping the twin's bill firmly in his hands, forcing the Gryffindor to sway with him.
"But…they look so soft, mate," he pleaded. George only laughed harder.
The Hufflepuff eventually 'picked her poison,' the most unthreatening bottle of the bunch. It took her a moment more to build up the courage to tip the soft white bottle back, but managed eventually.
A few minutes passed without any sign of change. Confused stares bounced from the girl to the no-longer-identical twins. Even Fred and George looked slightly perplexed.
"Was it a dud?" Asked Seamus curiously, "Or did you guys add ones that were just water or something?"
"No," George answered. "All of th-"
But George never finished his sentence for the Hufflepuff girl had spontaneously started hiccuping loudly.
"THERE it is!" Fred cheered.
The girl's hiccups continued furiously no matter how hard she tried to suppress them. There was a decent amount of shared laughter around the circle before Angelina decided to take her turn. She scanned the remaining bottles for about a second and grabbed a sleek pinkish bottle.
A moment after downing her potion of choice, a strange smile emerged on her face and she started giggling. For a moment, Katie thought she thought of something funny or she found out what the potion was and found it funny. However, just like the Hufflepuff girl, Angelina chose a potion that had a continuous affect, in this case, being uncontrollable giggling. Since the last two choices seemed slightly underwhelming, the excitement of the group started to dim.
This was short lived, though, because Katie reached forward and took a cylindrical bottle with a glass lid instead of a cork. She twisted her face in disgust as she swallowed. After a minute of silence, besides the persistent giggles and hiccups, she gave a concerned face and began to shift awkwardly where she sat. Her eyes grew wider and wider with each second and Angelina, unable to talk, gave a loud snort, tapped Katie on the shoulder and pointed behind her. As Katie turned, everyone in the circle saw a large scaly tail slither on the stone floor.
Instantly, the joy of the game returned as full laughter, snorts and hiccups echoed through the dungeons. Katie panicked and tried to hide it under her skirt, or rather fought to keep the tail from lifting the skirt. Angelina pulled the back of her robes trying to help. While Angelina was laughing because of the potion she took, there was a sense that a lot of her giggles were real.
Dean was certainly eager to take his pick. As the girls continued to struggle and giggle, he jumped forward and grabbed one of the smallest vials. Almost immediately, Dean gained an entertaining twitch in his face and neck. They didn't appear as repetitively as the giggles or hiccups, but each one forced him to make a silly face each time.
Seamus couldn't quite decide which bottle to choose, so, when his turn came, he asked Dean for help, who merely jerked his hand to the one next to the one where his had been. Seamus simply shrugged and grabbed the tear-shaped bottle. After drinking it, he just remarked about it being somewhat spicy. Everyone stared because they knew something had to be coming. Sure enough, Seamus's nose twitched and he gave a giant sneeze into his sleeve. However, he didn't realize until it was too late that, rather than blowing snot, a large amount of fire erupted from his nose and caught his sleeve on fire. He began batting it out when he felt another one coming and he whipped around and gave another blazing sneeze to the stone wall behind him. About half of the group was startled or tried to help him while the other half laughed and joked about his past dealings with fire.
Ginny decided to be as daring as her brothers and asked for anyone to choose for her. Lee tried to reach forward and lost balance. Getting into the spirit of the game, Ron grabbed a silver bottle and threw it to her. After she took her drink, she kept her eyes closed. Her eyelids twitched a bit and, when she opened them, revealed glowing bright green cat eyes. Rather than looking funny like her peers, Ginny looked mischievous. They surprisingly looked great on her. The group was in awe, except for Lee who flung himself back dramatically.
"Woah! They're glowing!"
Ginny narrowed her eyes and glanced side to side, an evil smile forming. The cat-eared Ravenclaw boy purred.
Neville decided to have Ginny choose for him because she seemed to have some luck in this game. She carefully chose a light purple bottle for him. He took a breath and drank it all. Everyone sat waiting for a couple minutes but nothing happened.
"Do you feel any different?" asked Lavender growing impatient.
"Not really."
But when Neville spoke, he didn't sound the same. His voice was very deep and even masculine. Upon hearing his own voice, he blinked and stared shocked at the bottle from which he had just drank. A couple girls raised their eyebrows with interest.
The game finally reached the trio. Ron was up, looking nervous. Hermione's eyes were wide and her body had stiffened. Harry's heart was racing.
Ron decided on the small bottle closest to him. He drank it and the group waited again. Angelina was still giggling and the Hufflepuff girl was still hiccuping which caused a few chuckles every once in a while. When nothing happened, the group egged him on to say something.
"What do you want me to-?"
Ron stopped mid-sentence. Ron chose a voice changing potion too, but, unlike Neville's, Ron's voice had grown incredibly high pitched and squeaky. Laughter erupted again. Harry noticed a pair of cat ears twitching on the other side of the circle. Ron looked rather embarrassed but he smiled and urged Hermione to take her turn. She looked at him evilly and picked a bright blue bottle.
She quickly found this to be a bad decision. her potion caused her bushy hair to stiffen and shudder. In an instant, the mass of brown had transformed into an explosion of bright rainbow-colored feathers on top of her head. There was a great mixture of responses. A few girls covered their mouths in shock. Hermione squealed and threw her hands on her head in a hopeless attempt to hide it. Lee, for the first time, was struck unable to speak. Everyone else practically cackled. When Ron laughed, he sounded like a squirrel getting tickled. Harry's face turned red as he fought for air, it was too funny. It took the effort of the majority of the group to convince Hermione it wasn't a big deal and, by the time the laughing had died down again (most was caused by Ron), even Hermione could smile at the situation.
Harry's turn had come before he was ready. He was enjoying everyone else's results that he didn't really consider which he would go with. He looked at the arrangement of remaining potions. There was still at least 10 more potions in the center of the circle. He figured the twins brought more than necessary because they weren't sure how many people would come and play.
"Take your pick, Harry," teased the old twin. Everyone was watching him.
He felt his face grow red, but he figured he may as well get it over with. He reached forward and grabbed the small light green bottle furthest from him. Everyone held their breath as he uncorked it. It smelled quite unpleasant. It took him a moment to convince himself and he brought it to his mouth.
It felt and tasted much worse than it smelled. It was like swallowing a huge glob of slime and tasted just the same. He pulled a greatly disgusted face as he fought to force it all down his throat.
"That bad, huh, mate?" Ron squeaked.
Harry couldn't answer. He moaned in disgust with his mouth closed as what felt like worms were moving around in his mouth. His eyes were closed trying to bear with it. This lasted for a good minute.
After the minute was up, Harry's eyes snapped open in shock and he slapped both hand over his mouth. Many looked at him, confused.
Fred and George let out great shouts of high pitched laughter. They seemed to have realized what was going on and were overjoyed.
"I can't believe he got it!" The old man cried hysterically.
"IT'S TOO PERFECT!" George quacked.
Harry merely glared over his hands at the two.
"What? What is it?" Dean asked, one eye unable to open due to the twitching.
Harry shook his head, still covering his mouth. However, a small part of himself was already laughing.
"THIS was what inspired us! It made us think of you!" George exclaimed.
"You have to show us, Harry!" Katie growled. "It's only fair!"
Harry sat in silence for a while. With his eyes closed, he slowly lowered his hands. His mouth was shut tight and he looked like was holding back a smile. Everyone held their breath.
In the blink of an eye, from Harry's closed mouth emerged a long, thin, black, forked tongue. It gave a quick flick and disappeared.
The laughter was louder than ever before. Harry couldn't hold back his smile anymore. Ron's squeaky laughter made it sound even funnier and Harry laughed. As he laughed, the snake-tongue wiggled at the tip of his teeth, making a subtle hissing sound with each exhale.
George fell back with great loud uncontrollable honks. Lee snorted so loud he coughed. Many were in tears from laughing so hard.
"The ONLY PARSELMOUTH IN SCHOOL-!" Dean couldn't finish his disbelief of the circumstances.
"Did you know he would get that one?" Angelina squeaked.
"NO!" Shouted Fred with a huge smile. "We figured someone else would get it and we'd give an evil wink to Harry!"
Harry seized the opportunity as everyone caught their breath to stick out his tongue at the twins like a child being playfully mean. Seamus snorted, coughed and caused another blazing sneezed. Apparently the snort lightly singed the back of his throat.
"So does this make you speak that snake language better?" asked the cat-eared boy.
Harry tried to answer, but the snake-like tongue had given him a lisp because of how long it was.
"I dohn thing ih worgth lige thah." Harry hid his face as he heard how rediculous he sounded.
The laughter continued.
"Alrigh' alreathy! Leh'th move on or thith will never end!"
"Slytherin is right!" The Ravenclaw girl called out, causing more laughs.
Everyone fought to keep a straight face as the Hufflepuff boy next to Harry reached for a bottle.
He finally picked one and chugged it excitedly. The hair on the boy's head grew longer and longer very quickly. Within seconds, his face disappeared behind a blanket of hair and it touched the stone floor. As he turned his head from side to side, it swept across the floor picking up dirt and dust. A good number of the group enjoyed this, but not nearly as well as other potions.
Next was the Ravenclaw girl, who chose a swamp-like concoction that caused very loud croaks to bounce off the walls every few seconds. The first few croaks caused Hermione to snort. Somehow, simultaneously, about a dozen rainbow feathers fell off of her head and were replaced with a few thick locks of her normal bushy hair. The mixing result looked rather strange.
The last person to pick was Lavender, who still had a choice of around six bottles. She tried to pick the prettiest bottle of the bunch. After a quick gulp, her skin seemed to get paler and paler. A couple people worried if she was getting sick, but she claimed that she felt fine. Once her skin turned radiantly white, black striped appeared. She squealed at this reaction and tried to bury herself in her cloak, but everyone had already seen. Hermione consoled her by saying she would rather have zebra skin than rainbow feathers for hair.
The game had ended, but not all of the effects had. Those whose appearance had been altered would have to wait longer for the effects to wear off. The only other potion that refused to let go was Ron's.
Fred packed up the few remaining bottles and, with a smile, said everyone was free to go. The ones who looked normal left with no hesitation, except for Lee who was just sitting on the ground. He decided to wait for the twins to help him up. Angelina loaned Hermione a winter hat to try and hide the rest of her feathers in until she got back to the dorm. Lavender simply pulled her robes around her keeping her head down. The Ravenclaw boy seemed unfathomed by the idea of someone seeing him with cat ears. The Hufflepuff boy asked for help to trim his hair. As long as Harry kept his mouth shut, he didn't have to worry.
A decent number of students noticed the strange group emerging from the dungeon. Some hiding, staggering, giggling, or just dead silent. The trio climbed the stairs smiling at the fun they just had. Even Hermione, who dropped a few feathers on the way up, agreed that, even though she was reluctant at first, it was harmless fun.
The only thing that brought any hesitation or embarrassment was when Cho passed them on the stairs.
"Hey Harry," she greeted kindly.
Harry froze. He wanted to say hi, but he still had his snake tongue. Trying to be nice, he simply smiled.
"I just wanted to say you did really well in the first task. It was incredible to watch." She was so pretty.
Harry blushed. He shrugged with a small moan that implied that he didn't know what to say.
"I'll see you around, Harry."
He waved as she left
Hermione smiled.
"Sorry, Harry. At least you handled it well."
"Thankth."
A high pitched Ron decided to poke some more fun.
"Who knows, Harry. She may have liked to see.
Ron's squeaky giggles faltered under Harry's glare. They simply held intense eye contact until Harry lightened the mood by flicking his tongue again. They all laughed together as they reached the Fat Lady's portrait.