Hollow
Author's Note: Hello all. Honestly I thought I had given this writing thing up but I have a whole bunch of stories to finish and I know how much I hate abandoned fics. Anyway, I guess this is a warm up to get me back in the game because I've had this idea going through my head for a few days now and I gotta do something about it. Hopefully it's worth checking out.
Sometimes he forgets that she isn't Fred.
The stinging of her nails as she dug into his back served as an indication of that. He could feel the blood slowly making its way down his torso as he forced himself deeper into her, each time her body tightening up a little more. Gazing into her eyes he allowed himselft to get lost in a sea of brown before she closed them as she moaned softly.
"More, please. I need more."
On instinct, he answered her with another thrust making sure to let her know he was in charge here. She closes her eyes to which he grins slightly. Moments later he can feel her spasm around and she moans out his name in ecstasy. It's enough for him to lose control and as soon as the moment comes, Gunn briefly feels the calmness wash over him. It was something he only felt when he was with Fred. Not even having the energy nor desire to remove himself from her he collapses on top of her.
"That was good." He tells her as she looks back at him.
"Yes. Your performance was more than adequate. Do you wish to lie here a moment longer?" Shaking his head he pulled on a strand of her hair as it began to fade back into its original schema of brown and blue.
"Nah. We gotta hit the streets. Suns going down." Gunn answered back as Illyria stared blankly at him with piercing blue eyes before giving a nod and proceeded to remove him from her before sitting up on the edge of the bed. Gunn rubbed his eyes a bit, noticing how stiff she was when she moved. At the same time, there was subtle grace that he was able to see in her movement as well. Without turning back to look at him, she spoke.
"I look forward to our nightly encounters." With that she got up and left the room to do whatever it was Illyria did after they fucked. Lying back down, he stared at the decrepit ceiling tiles above him. Cracks and mildew traveled across the room like the Los Angeles freeway. Years ago, Gunn would have killed Illyria had he had the strength. It had killed the only person other than his sister that allowed him to feel something other than his desire to fight. But that was before everything changed.
It was in these moments he tended to look back on what happened way back when.
He woke up. Illyria was there. Angel was gone. Spike was gone. Wesley was gone. Cordelia was gone. Fred was gone.
At first it had been devastating. He went through the cycle. Grieving, despair, depression. Hell he even tried to take his own life once or twice. But every time he got close. She was there. Staring at him. A ghostly reminder of what his cowardice and insecurity costs his family. Himself.
It was cool though he figured in the end. He was here. There was a mission. He saw it fit to see it through. There was something broken in him and he needed to find a reason. A reason that he was still here. A reason why she wouldn't leave his side. A reason why she continued to stare into his soul and ignite something in a heart that was otherwise dead as far as he was concerned. Getting up, he realized he was hungry as hell and they were all out of food.
"Fuck it. I'll grab something while we're out."
Walking into the makeshift armory he had built he found Illyria standing silently as if waiting on him the entire time.
"What's up blue? Ready to go mix it up?" He asked as he grabbed a sword and threw his hoody over his head. He lost his axe years ago after the big throwdown in the alley. Apparently after it all went down, Illyria came in and dragged his ass out of harm's way.
"Yes, I wish display my power upon our various adversaries. How many fatalities have we incurred this week?" She queried as she watched Gunn crack his knuckles before heading the door. She followed him as he walked on.
"Hmm. I think you're up by 40 or 50 kills. If Wolfram and Hart send their goons after us again, I should catch up by Thursday. Add in the slayers and hell we could be tied by morning." Gunn lifted up the warehouse door exposing the duo to the hot thick air of Los Angeles night. It had taken long after sundown for the screams of various sirens to start. There were quite a few human screams thrown in there to somewhere. Looking to his right, he saw Illyria looking at him as if waiting for direction. He had to admit, it felt good to have someone depend on him again for once. He'd be lying if he said he didn't get off on it.
"We'll swing by the Hyperion and grab some supplies. I think some there's still a conjuring orb or two that Wesley used a few years back. We can use that when we get closer to our goal."
"Wesley. I still feel…weakness for him. Even after all this time. I cannot stand this infection of humanity from the shell yet I am compelled to understand." At that Gunn gave her a look to which she acknowledged with the slightest nod.
"Fred. I forget how much sway her memory holds over you as well. Before Wesley, she was yours."
"Yeah. She was. Remember our agreement. You respect Fred, I'll find a way to help you get all of your power back so we can change things."
"Yes. I will honor our pact Charles. Let us engage those half-breeds attacking those humans by that vehicle." Illryia spoke as she directed his attention towards a group of vampires feeding on some people across the street. With that, he pulled a stake from his pocket and made his way over to get his dusting on. The god-king followed silently behind him with the faintest hint of a smile on her face.
10 minutes later, Gunn and Illyria stood in a cloud of dust and blood. The victims had high tailed it out of dodge during the fight leaving the two of them there to clean up the mess. Dusting himself off, Gunn started to move on towards the Hyperion. Or what was left of it.
He remembered the first time he returned to the hotel after the fight. It had been about 3 months after everything. The hotel had been damaged in the fight and there was a giant hole where the dragon had crashed into the side of it. That much he did remember. That was part of Angel's demise.
As Gunn was fighting some ugly ass demons, Angel, Spike, and Illyria were handling the big dogs. Angel somehow jumped up on the dragon and was able to use it to take out much of Wolfram and Hart's legion. Apparently the Senior Partners saw this turn in the tide to be a threat to their plans for the vampire because the next thing you know Angel was getting sucked into a portal and Spike was getting flayed by the dragon's last roar. It was around that time Gunn had started to get into some trouble with some cronies from some vamp gang Wolfram and Hart had their payroll. He remembered when Angel kicked them off said payroll when they came and cleaned up shop. Apparently, they were here for some payback.
Illyria's monotone voice brought him back to the present. A constant reminder of the irony of his life. His signature caused the death of the love of his life but the being that inhabits her shell was indeed his savior.
"It won't be long now before the chaos that infects this city begins to spread. The Wolf, Ram, and Heart grow strong with each new moon. We must succeed if we are to win this war."
"Won't be long now Blue. Just need to retrieve an orb and that Mutari Generator from Wolfram and Hart and we should be able to restore your powers without having you go Hiroshima on us."
"Will it restore you as well?"
"I don't think so."
"I do not wish for this relationship between us to change. I have learned much from you. There are many more ways to slay an enemy than by force. Perhaps that is why you humans have endured while my kind has died." Gunn stopped and looked at her before easing into a slight grin.
"Sounds like there's still a little bit of Fred in there. She was a fighter. Stronger than me. Didn't even have to lift a finger."
"There is still some of the being Charles Gunn within you as well."
Yep. Every time she brings it up it hits home. Just like the first time.
2004- Outside the Hyperion
It was getting hard to tell whether it was rain or blood running down his face. All he could focus on was the blurriness of his right eye and the fierce pain into his neck.
"This is how I go out. Karma is definitely a stone cold bitch." He thought to himself before seeing Alonna and Fred standing in front of him. Cordelia and Wesley not far behind smiling at him.
"It's okay big brother. Everything is going to be okay. You don't have to fight anymore." Alonna spoke to him softly. Fred smiled back at him.
"It's time to let go Charles. We'll all be together soon." With that everything started to fade to black as he sipped the last drop of blood from the foreign vein.
He couldn't tell you how long it had been when he woke up.
All he knew was that he wasn't alone. She was there. Watching him
"Fred?"
"No."
"Illyria."
There was no response. He attempted sit up and noticed that pain in his eye was gone. There was scar. Even more so, he noticed how hungry he was. He noticed some people chained up across the room from him scared for their life. He looked to Illyria for an explanation.
"What the hell is this Illyria? Where's Angel. Spike?"
"They are gone. You have just returned. Surely you must feed to reclaim your energy." Gunn just looked at her. What the fuck was she talking about feeding?' He was no goddamn….
"Vampire." He answered in shock of his own thought. She nodded in response.
"No." He didn't even have to ask a second time. He could feel the emptiness in him. Reaching for his heart he realized that for the first time it wasn't beating. He was cold. He was death.
"You must feed. I have captured these humans for you." Gunn looked at her with pleading eyes as if wishing this was some sick illusion or game but it wasn't. Illyria wasn't Fred but one thing was clear. Vampire or not, he was still the same person. Maybe not exactly as he was. But it was funny. Cordy had told him years ago that he was his own danger. How he lived his life would be the end of him. And she was right. He tried for years to fight. To have a mission. When in actuality he was stronger and smarter than he belived. He wasn't weak. He wasn't unworthy. Hell, Illyria must have seen some value in him since she saved his sorry ass.
"Why did you save me Illyria? Why didn't you kill me? I'm the reason you're stuck in her body. A shadow of your former self. I don't deserve to be here while she's gone."
"I need your help to return things to how they were. I do not wish to be here. In this time. I am infected with memories of the shell. It consumes my being with feelings of remorse, sadness, joy, and this phenomenon you humans call love. I do not understand it. I want it gone."
"And how exactly do we do that?"
"Return my powers to me and I will make the world as it once was." Suddenly it dawned on him. How could he have been so fucking stupid?
"You can manipulate time? You could stop all of this. Stop all of that shit with Connor and Cordelia with Jasmine. That's what made Angel go to Wolfram and Hart. Then you would have never been released from the Deeper Well and this wouldn't exist."
"Yes."
"All right I'll help you. One thing though? You will respect Fred's memory and not refer to her as the shell. She was a person. She is a person. She still alive in my heart dead or undead."
"I'll shall honor your request." She responded with a nod. Gunn realized something a moment later.
"Do I still have my soul like Angel?" He asked cautiously. Illyria shook her head.
"No, you are not like the other half-breeds. Only the demon occupies your body. Yet you are still Charles Gunn."
"I guess it's true what they say. We've all got inner demons." With that Gunn smirked to himself before allowing himself to give in to his hunger and proceeded to try out his newfound vampire abilities by feeding on the humans Illyria had brought for him.
The Present-Dawn approaching
Closing the door behind them, Gunn looked at the orb glowing in his hand. Their plan was coming together. They had run into a few more demon gangs throughout the night and a few slayers but he and Blue handled themselves okay. He watched as she made her way towards the sleeping quarters. Putting away his weapons he followed.
He was greeted to sight of Illyria standing back at him in the guise of Fred. Completely nude.
"Let us lie down Charles." Gunn grinned at her. He wasn't sure when they had come to the point where they were fucking each other. Maybe when he was still depressed about everything and he wanted to feel something other than emptiness. After a few times he realized that when he was with her it was the only time he felt something close to being alive again. Made sense. She was Fred. If even only her memories. At the same time, he realized something else. He was just as hollow as Illyria.
"Don't be her. Not completely. Let me see your eyes." Gunn asked as he threw his hoody on the floor. Looking up Illyria allowed her strands of blue hair and her eyes to return to their natural color while keeping Fred's body intact.
"That's better."
"I have often wondered why my guise as Fred does not offend you as it did the others. This is the first time you have asked me not to be her." Gunn looked the mirror behind them only to see her reflection stare back at him.
"Doesn't matter. Fred's gone. You're still here. Out of everyone, you stayed."
With that, Gunn allows his vampire features to form as he bites softly into her neck while he listens to her moans of ecstasy.
Sometimes he forgets that he isn't Gunn.
Author's Note: I had to do it. I think that Vampire Gunn is fascinating and he and Illyria had potential for many great stories to be told. The comics did this to an extent but I wanted my own spin on life Post NFA. There should be more Gunn stories this stayed in character since it's been years since I've written anything and I've never written Illyria before. Okay. Read it. Leave a review. Give me some motivation. Thanks. Oh and Hell Yeah!