Note – Amick and Amber are galloping whores and made me do a Christmas story. Amick gave me an idea and I took some liberties with it and twisted it around a bit. Here's what happened next.

Merry Fucking Christmas

.: A dark street corner in Port Charles, NY :.

"This the place?"

"You should know better than I," Johnny snorted, looking down at his phone where he had a map of the area pulled up. "Aren't you from this town?"

"I was born here, lived here for about two years," Jason replied, glancing cagily up and down the street. He didn't particularly care to be spotted. Not that they could be missed – with him, Johnny, and a bunch of their guys milling around behind them, awaiting orders, they were quite a conspicuous sight. "But then we moved to the city. You know that."

"Whatever, all your quaint American towns are the same to me. Port Charles, Manhattan, no big difference."

Jason scoffed. "You can't say that anymore – you've been living in the States for a few years now. You know the difference between Port Charles and Manhattan. It's the difference between a Maclaren and a hamster in a fucking wheel."

Johnny laughed at that and looked up at the building in front of them, stretching into the dark wintry skies. "Fine, I'll give you that. But you should still know whether this is the place or not."

"I've never been to the MetroCourt," he pointed out. "All I know is that AJ's ex-wife runs it. Candy. Cassie. Crackie. Something like that."

"Carly," Johnny corrected, clicking away on his phone. "Caroline Benson Quartermaine Corinthos Jacks, apparently. And yup, this would indeed be the MetroCourt Hotel. We made it."

"Great." Jason picked up his black backpack and, brushing off the snow, strapped it on. Johnny did the same. They picked up their custom-made utility belts and the Uzis they'd just picked up a couple hours ago in Queens, and advanced on the hotel.

~*~*~*~*~*~

.: MetroCourt Hotel :.

"I'm going to tell him I'm a lesbian."

Elizabeth burst out laughing. "Nadine, you can't do that!"

"Of course I can," her fellow nurse squawked, visibly shuddering when Lucky Spencer came into view. The police officer had been searching her out all evening, and she'd turned avoiding him into an art form. "God, he can't take a hint."

"He thinks you're cuuuute," Elizabeth snag, drawing a few curious looks from the other party-goers. "He wants to doooooo you."

"You've had too much," Nadine hissed, grabbing her drink. "Give me that. I need it more than you do."

She laughed as the younger nurse downed the pomegranate kir in one gulp. "You're awful."

"Awfully interested in staying the hell away from him," Nadine agreed. "I'm sorry, but how many times do I have to turn him down? This is way past pathetic and has advanced into stalkerish."

"I think it's kind of cute."

"You wouldn't if you were on the receiving end," she scowled. "You know, maybe I ought to try the old bait and switch – put in a good word for you, and bail."

"I hope not," came a voice from behind her, and Nadine tried not to groan when she and Elizabeth spun around to see Lucky standing there. "It's too early for you to leave the party."

It was clear he hasn't heard the first part of the conversation, and they were grateful for that. Nadine plastered a fake smile on her face and nodded. "You know, you're right. I think I'll stick around for a bit."

"Glad to hear it," Lucky smiled. "I was actually wondering if-"

"Oh, hold that thought," the nurse interrupted, handing him the empty glass and grabbing Elizabeth's arm. "I have to powder my nose. Be right back!"

And with that, she practically dragged Elizabeth off. Once she knew that Lucky couldn't see them anymore, Nadine doubled back and pulled Elizabeth around the side of the room until they were standing near the door.

"Ugh. Some party this is turning out to be."

"You've been telling him you have to go powder your nose all night," Elizabeth noted. "He's going to get suspicious."

"I'll convince him I have a cocaine problem," Nadine shrugged, looking over when the door opened and a gust of wind swept in with a couple of tall, dark strangers. "It shouldn't be so hard."

"Remember that time you convinced Matt that the ritualistic sacrifice of small animals was part of your religion?"

"Served him right for being in PETA and trying to force me to become a vegan."

Elizabeth shook her head with a smile. Nadine was the best, with all of her crazy boy-drama. It was almost like every time she turned around, Nadine was fending off yet another guy that was absolutely smitten with her. When they'd get together at Jake's after work, Nadine would tick off all the things about the given gentleman that were horrible, and Elizabeth would be in stitches.

She never resented her friend for the fact that she was so eagerly sought after. Nadine was beautiful, funny, smart, and a very nurturing woman, the kind that instantly attracted attention. But instead of being conceited about it, Nadine just chose to poke fun at it.

Sometimes, Elizabeth felt like Nadine reined herself in a little when complaining about her suitors, mainly because Elizabeth wasn't nearly so sought after.

To her credit, Elizabeth never let that bother her. She'd never been the life of the party; in fact, she was more like the wallflower. Her sister Sarah had always been the one that boys drooled over, and Sarah preferred to soak up the attention that came her way instead of sharing it with anyone. So Elizabeth was usually left in the sidelines, but she eventually learned that it wasn't so bad, because it let her get to know great girls like Robin and Nadine and Emily and, more importantly, become more comfortable in her own skin.

She knew who she was, and Elizabeth realized that was more than could be said for a lot of people. She knew how she fit in with these people, all of them crammed into the lobby of Carly's amazing hotel on its third historic opening night after it had nearly been demolished by a fire a year ago.

She was Elizabeth Webber, a trusted and respected nurse at the local hospital. She was the youngest Webber child, the perpetual girl-next-door, the town sweetheart. Sure, hers wasn't the most exciting life, but it was warm and secure and filled with good friends, and she couldn't have asked for more.

"Why are we always harassed by weird guys?" Nadine wondered aloud, snagging another pomegranate kir off a passing server's tray as she looped her arm around Elizabeth's shoulders. "Like, why can't we be harassed by really hot guys? Like those, over there."

Elizabeth looked to where she was pointing and saw several men dressed in black pants, boots, and thick black sweaters. A couple wore wool caps, but the two tallest ones that stood in front had gone without, and a light dusting of snow had settled on their hair.

"Oooh, dibs on Blondie," Nadine growled, giving her a playful shake. "You can have the tall one."

"Agreed," Elizabeth chuckled, knowing there was no way she'd work up the courage to talk to the intimidating young man with broad shoulders and dark hair. "And while I'm dreaming, I'd like a pink pony."

"You always say that," Nadine pouted. "I've been getting you pink ponies for your birthday for three years now, and you still always say that. Ungrateful much?"

"They sure are cute, though."

"How drunk do you think they have to be before we can do things to them?"

Elizabeth choked a little. "Uh…"

"Oh, never mind," Nadine cut in cheerily. "They're coming this way!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Jesus Christ," Johnny grumbled. "I hate townies."

"I hate this town, period," Jason muttered, barely resisting the urge to sweep a glare around the room. "And I hate upstate New York. Bunch of prissy bastards who don't realize what complete hicks they are."

"Tell us how you really feel."

"Look, let's not waste any time." Jason signaled to his men. "We got the information and it told us that the Rosebud was here. We just have to find it before the others figure out it's here and come for it."

"We can't let them get it," Johnny agreed. "The hard part's behind us – we tracked it down. It's somewhere in this hotel. And since the main floor is the only floor that's operational, that means it's right here. Somewhere."

"And between all of us, our odds of finding it are good." Jason nodded at his men, who nodded back. "We get it before the others, we get the hell out, and we get it back to headquarters."

"I wish all these fucking people weren't here," the younger man groaned. "Look at them. Drinking. Dancing. Spreading holiday cheer. Who needs that bullshit?"

He caught sight of a pretty blonde in a purple silk dress, standing next to a brunette in a red one, and stopped for a moment. "Well, hello, look at those two."

Jason rolled his eyes. "Will you just focus on this? Think we could get everyone to leave if we pulled the fire alarm?"

"That would take too long and get the cops over here," Johnny sighed, reluctantly tearing his eyes away from the leggy blonde. "No, we're better off just going for it."

"I was hoping we wouldn't have to."

"Same here, but we have to get the Rosebud. Let's just do this and go so we can get the hell back to drinking."

"Seriously." Jason adjusted his grip on the Uzi and lifted it easily, high up in the air. "All right, people, everyone needs to sit down and shut the fuck up. We just need one thing, and we're not leaving without it. No one has to get hurt here."

Johnny moved swiftly into the room as the people parted at Jason's announcement, noticing that the hot blonde from earlier was now gaping at him. He winked and felt the corner of his mouth curve up.

"Merry fucking Christmas, everyone."