Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related things don't belong to me. If they did, would this really be called fan fiction?

A/N: This little one-shot is, evidently, the product of extreme depression over Sirius' death (even if I did finish OotP over a year ago.) It's from Remus' perspective. By the way, I have not abandoned Revealing, I just haven't had very much time to write, and I'm still recovering from exams.

Forever

By MrsMoony

I still can't believe it. It's been over a month since he... left.

I won't say it. I know in my heart that he's gone but I can't bring myself to say it aloud. Molly tried to make me say it once. She said that it would help me accept it better.

But I have accepted it. I know he's gone, and he's not going to come back. I accepted it the moment I saw it. I'm a reasonable person, and I can't deny what I know is the truth.

But that doesn't make it hurt any less.

Sirius was all I had left. And now he's passed beyond the veil, from the land of the living to the land of the dead, like so many before him. Like James and Lily.

I miss all three of them, everyday. Sirius and James, especially. We were best friends, the three of us... and Peter, as well, I suppose.

I don't think I'll ever have that type of friendship ever again. Very few people get it in the first place, so I'd have to have pretty good fortune to get it again. I've never been an exceptionally fortunate person. The one small ray of light that I had in my life was my friends, and now they're gone. No, I'm definitely not a fortunate person.

Sometimes I try to sort out what happened. It's then that I realise what really hurts the most.

James and Lily died terrible deaths at the hands of Voldemort, and left before their time. They never got to see the end of the war. They never got to watch their son grow-up into the person he was today. Yet, I know that it's not what hurts the most.

Sirius died an unfortunate death. He spent twelve years in Azkaban, and what did he get? Only three years, two of which were spent on the run, and one of which was spent in that horrible house that he hated so much. He never even got his name cleared. Yet, I know that it's not what hurts the most.

They're dead- but I'll see them again someday. I don't know what lies beyond death, but I know they're there.

Peter. Peter's actions are what hurt the most. James and Sirius may be dead, but they died heroes' deaths. Peter is the reason that they're dead.

He helped Voldemort during the first war. And, then, sold James out to him.

He helped Voldemort again this time, by bringing him back. And, because he was back, Sirius died in battle.

People do terrible things all the time. Voldemort has killed thousands. Grindelwald did the same. Bellatrix killed Sirius...

I could go on forever. But I know that none of their actions hurt as much as Peter's do. He didn't just kill people. He betrayed them. He betrayed people that dared to trust him with their lives, because he was too cowardly to face up to the consequences if he didn't.

The worst thing about Peter is that I know I'll never be able to forget him. He was one of my best friends. There are times when I wish I could erase him from my memory. I want to be able to say that I never knew the traitor. But I know that I'll never be able to do that.

The bond we had is still there. Even though Peter and I are no longer friends. Even though James and Sirius are gone.

They say that true friendship lasts forever. But they're wrong. Friendship, like many other things, is breakable. It can break because of lies and deception. So, I guess many friendships end eventually. But we weren't friends- we were brothers.

And family is forever.

Thank you for reading, and please review! Comments and constructive criticism are welcome.