Disclaimer: All has excalated from the amazing mind power of Stephenie Meyer; without her genius idea to create the twilight saga we wouldn't have been able to do this...

AN: Okay so 'imadoodlenoodle' and i (X-edward-hasnt-met-me-yet-X) have had so many free lessons that we have just lost track of what to do with ourselves, so what do we do? Write a fanfic of course!! This is a really random idea that started out as a small joke between us and now it has just gotten way out of contral...so enjoy and review please...3...

Bella Role Over

By, 'X-Edward-hasn't-met-me-yet-X' and 'imadoodlenoodle'

Preface

Bella's Point of view

Edward was just getting ready to leave on his extremely rare hunting trip—ever since we'd found out he's been leaving me less and less; you can really see him struggling now. I was perched on the edge of the newly obtained soft-get-lost-in couch watching the also newly obtained DVD collection of 'You and Your Baby' that Edward has enforced upon me. Esme was running about the lounge, dining area and kitchen faffing around so that I had food ready for when ever I wanted it. I told her that I was quite capable of making it my self and the only response I got was:

"I know darling, but this is on orders of Edward and you know how he gets. Sorry."

Before she sped off to fiddle some more.

It wasn't long before Edward was at my side apologising for having to leave me. I just told him it didn't matter, that it was necessary and couldn't be avoided. He had arranged for Emmet and Jasper to stay behind and 'look after me' more like baby-sit me—oh my what was I in for? These two were constantly playing around and acting like children themselves.

Edward gave me a light kiss on my cold, dry lips—accidentally popping one of the air bubbles and jumping a mile at the touch of cotton wool—before leaving with Esme, Carlisle, Alice and Rosalie. It wasn't long before Jasper and Emmet made their first appearance.

"So Bella, time to get up; time to eat." Jasper ordered excitedly; too excited just for helping me prepare food in my opinion.

"Jasper, I'm not hungry. I'll eat later." I didn't tare my eyes away from the disturbing birthing scene that was now on the screen; it was too gruesome to even dare look away.

"The baby is! And besides, strict orders from Edward." Emmet stepped in to take the upper hand. The part about my baby being hungry persuaded me; I wanted to do everything right.

I started to get up—struggling as always. Emmet and Jasper grabbed an arm each to try to help. I was nearly steady when my heal caught the edge of the sofa and I started to tumble backwards. Emmet went to catch me but something else must have attracted his attention because his arms failed to come anywhere near reaching distance of me. Consequently I landed flat on my ass—with a round of laughter from Jasper and Emmet to congratulate me.

"Great idea Bells! Don't know why I didn't think of it before?!" Emmet exclaimed

"Well Emmet let's be honest, it is you and your mind doesn't really stray from the subject of Rosalie, sex, or fighting does it?" Jasper sarcastically commented.

"Halo three, of course!! Anyway what's on my mind doesn't matter right now, well it does, but it doesn't. The bit that matters is getting Bella into the kitchen…quickly and safely. Don't want to upset our dear Eddie now do we?"

I just lay there waiting for them to stop their irrelevant banter and to pick me up. Neither came very fast, unlike the rolling towards the kitchen door.

"Com'on Jasper join in this is hilarious!"

"Just let me get the camera Em, Alice will love this."

We reached the kitchen in under a second. Emmet pulled my back up level in between bursts of laughter.

"Emmet, what the hell was that? What did you do that for? What in the world made you think that was safer than me walking myself into the kitchen?"

"Bella you're wrapped in god knows how many layers of cotton wool and bubble wrap; you really think we would have done that if there was the slightest chance of Edward murdering us. It's okay; you're one big fat ball of bounciness!! Anyway you would have been too slow by foot. Before you were slow but now it's like a human watching paint dry."

How the hell could Emmet be overjoyed at the fact that I'm big and fat? Hold on I'm big and fat! I knew my speed against theirs would be considered slow but I didn't realise they had a problem with it. I was slow and they hated me for it. I was slow, big and fat and they all hated me because of it. I couldn't stop the tears welling up in my eyes and spilling over.

"I am so slow! Will Edward leave me? Is he going to leave because I'm so slow?! My baby is going to be faster than me and he and Edward are going to run away and leave me! And I'm fat. I'm a fat cotton wool whale. I can't see my ankles and I'm so hot. I'm sweating so much and I hate cotton wool. I'm a fat sweaty smelly cotton wool whale and everyone is going to leave me!" The tears speed up and just burst out everywhere as I came to this conclusion.

Jasper joined in the crying and couldn't pull himself together anymore than I could at this point. Emmet was the only stable one left and that's saying something.

"Please stop crying Bella; you know he blames us if you cry! Please stop crying!"

"Why are you yelling at me? Do you think I'm fat as well? Jasper call Edward and tell him Emmett said I was fat"

"I will when I can stop crying for Pete sake! This is ridiculous! I'm fat and ugly and everyone wants to leave me!" Jasper joined in my argument against my physique in between his own sobs.

"Look Bella, we're in kitchen, come on we have to feed you"

"So I can be fatter?! Why do you hate me Emmett, why? I thought you were my friend"

Emmet also started to cry whilst pleading me to eat.

"Bella, please eat. Just a little something. Emmet was now just as bad as myself and Jasper—who had relocated to the darkest corner of the kitchen and started rocking himself back and forth. "Oh my God, Bella please eat, I don't want Edward to hate me; Rosalie would hate me too then. Oh no, do you think Rosalie thinks I'm fat? Rosalie's going to leave me then Edward's going to murder me…all's I wanted to do was to get you to eat as I've been asked to do."

Emmet started to run out of the kitchen—human speed—I was starting to feel guilty for making him cry, I'd never seen Emmet cry.

"Emmet, Emmet I'm sorry I'll eat, I promise I'll eat. What do you want me to eat?!"