Title: Shadow-Stained Sketchpad
Author: Shao Bei Bei
Rating: T
Genre: Romance/Angst
Pairing(s): onesided Sai/Naruto; implied Sasuke/Naruto
Wordcount: 903
Summary: To Naruto he is a shadow, a badly drawn copy. But that's okay. Sai is an artist. He can fix bad drawings. And shadows can be held as long as the room is dark enough.
Author's Note: It seems that I particularly enjoy angsting, unrequited love for Naruto Sai. Could anyone recommend to me some good fics for that? And jeez, only 903 words. I feel sad about myself.
Archived On: Fanfiction and Livejournal
"You," Naruto breathes, pinning Sai/Sasuke to the wall with one hand, his other looking as if it's debating whether or not he should punch him or caress him. In the end it settles on brushing back Sasuke's trademark hairstyle out of Sai's emotionless eyes. "When did you learn this jutsu?"
Sai breathes and Naruto flinches, so he lets Sai die and Sasuke take over.
"I don't have to keep you up to date on what jutsu I learn, idiot."
And Naruto's mouth claims his in a kiss he has only dreamed about.
Sometimes Sai comes out.
He sits in the corner of the hot, summer-invaded room, a sketchpad carefully balanced on his naked knees, and his pencil trembles from trying to process the two images Sai is sending. One is the moon outside the window, unsure whether or not it should light up the room even though it is big and full and right there, because the two on the bed, one bright and real and the other dark and fake, they balance each other in a way that might be shattered with just a bit more light.
The other is something Sai does not want to see, even though Naruto's sweat-shined back blocks most of his view and all he can see are pale, slim legs with scars he knows he doesn't have. So when the moon decides to take a chance and poke its head in, he pulls his feet back from its lie-destroying glow and draws the second thing.
In the morning the sketch is not there but Sai can see it when he closes his eyes.
Naruto is more observant than Sai would like to believe.
Naruto can see how Sai is discomforted whenever someone mentions Sasuke, how it takes him just a little longer to think up an insult for Naruto or remember someone's nickname after that. Whenever Sakura decides to even mention Sasuke or anything about him, like how there used to be droves of girls running around Konoha, Naruto can see how Sai falls back a bit that night.
And when Naruto breathes the missing ninja's name, tone glazed with love and sadness and something sweet and unmentionable, he can see the pain in Sai's eyes increase.
Sai can't draw anymore.
He's not sure how it happened but all he knows that whenever he picks up a pencil and touches its point to paper he can't force himself to move. He can draw whenever the neighborhood children come along and ask him to draw something, like themself as a super-cool ninja or a bunny for someone they just upset, but whenever Naruto's gone and he's alone and the wind is whispering cruel things in his ear - he doesn't love you, he'll never love you, you're an idiot for letting him do this to you -
One morning the garbage man comes along and finds a brand-new, unused sketchpad on top of the plastic bags. It's unmarked except for a tiny little dot in the center and he thinks that his daughter will be happy tonight.
One night Sai is in bed, waiting for Naruto to finish his shower. He hasn't performed the jutsu yet, but recently Naruto has stopped caring whether or not he's Sasuke whenever they're doing something that isn't having sex.
The blond steps out, hair dripping, body slick, and Sai swallows. He watches as Naruto dries himself, towel sliding over smooth skin and muscled limbs, rubbing over a taut belly and golden back, caressing a handsome face the way the dark-haired ninja wishes he could do without seeming out of character.
After Naruto is finished drying he reaches into a drawer and pulls something flat and thick out, tossing it at Sai. He catches it easily, fingers instinctively flipping it open. It's a new sketchbook, even better than the one he had before. He swallows again.
"Thank you." He whispers without looking at Naruto, so he's surprised when the blond is suddenly sitting next to him.
"Draw something for me." Naruto commands, and Sai plucks a pencil out of the book's circular wire binding and starts drawing without hesitation. The tip of his pencil flows over the paper, spilling out gray lines and lively eyes and tight muscles, and when he's done he's pretty sure that he just gave Naruto's ego a huge boost. He drops the pencil and looks up at Naruto, and when their eyes meet he suddenly finds himself being embraced.
"I'm...sorry." Naruto whispers. And Sai understands the meaning behind those words, because really, how smitten could he be without understanding the one he loves? Besides, he had felt Naruto's chakra leap in excitement that day, and only one person could make it do that when no one was attacking.
So he gets up and dresses himself slowly, waiting for the pain to hit him, and when he picks up the sketchpad and walks out the door he's surprised to realize that he's still numb.
It's only later, sitting in the corner of his room, the sketchpad balanced on his knees as he draws, that he feels it. He looks down at his finished sketch, another one of Naruto, and realizes that just like the other sketches now littering his floor, he couldn't help himself from drawing an unwanted shadow into the picture.
He closes the sketchpad, and the moon lights up the tears on his face.