RATING: G

SUMMARY: HOTARU's thoughts on Shinrei as he ponders on his main purpose in life. Takes place before Kyo and company approach Mibu. ONESHOT. Spoilers up to VOLUME 16 of the manga. Reloaded due to formatting and downloading errors.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Samurai Deeper Kyo anime, manga or any of its characters. Kamijyo Akimine is the true legal and spiritual owner.

My One Purpose

by:nekozuki1776

How dare you Shinrei.

I would like to have been there to see how your twisted moral code rationalized doing what you did.

I know your feelings towards Kyo. And personally, I truly have no feelings towards the girl one way or another.

But isn't this underhanded, even for you? Using someone unrelated to the situation in bringing the demon eyed warrior to your whim?

You call me many things. Lazy, unfeeling, discombobulated, and dumb.

But lacking of warrior ethics I am not.

What were you thinking?

Is it because that rambunctious blond reminds you of your unrequited love?

Personally I think she's a bit too wild for you.

But that's beside the point.

I still can't comprehend why you resorted to this tactic. And it's always been like this, hasn't?

We never truly understood each other. But I naively thought we shared a bond.

After all, we are brothers.

Or more accurately, half-brothers.

But despite the blood-line we share, we are complete opposites. We've always been different. Even as children.

You were obedient and respected.

I was indifferent and looked down upon.

You've always been exceptional and I, the exception. Both of us turning out with two different beliefs.

But every once in awhile, you surprised me with your protective nature. Guarding me when you think I wasn't looking. And I wondered…

Not exactly enemies, you and I.

Not entirely polar opposites, but never really getting along. Tolerating each other but not quite making a connection.

We were both bestowed with our own elemental powers.

Your water to my flame.

One element is said to be more powerful than the other.

And you claim to be stronger.

I wouldn't count on that, big brother.

When a flame burns brightly enough, it can vaporize water.

You say that I'm reckless.

And I think you're the reckless one.

Trying to figure out of what's wrong with me when it's you that need the correcting. Using tricks more dirty than the prior to stay so infinitely loyal to the Mibu.

Silly brother.

Tricks are for kids.

And we're not kids anymore.

I suppose I can respect your straight forwardness and determination in reaching your goals.

But I fail to be impressed.

Unlike you, I just want to live on my own terms and be challenged.

Unfortunately, it's been awhile since I've faced a good challenge.

Four years to be exact.

And facing each day during those four years, not knowing which day would be my last.

People fear many things in life. Sickness, poverty, loneliness, death. But what frightens most people doesn't affect me. In my world, I only have one fear.

What I fear is dying before getting my chance to battle Kyo.

Why do I want to fight him?

I crave the challenge of fighting an opponent stronger than me.

Or more simply put, I want to be the strongest.

It certainly isn't for honor, vengeance, courage, or any of those mundane reasons that others are fighting over.

I refuse to be distracted by these nonsensical motivations.

Hey look, a caterpillar…

So until then, I simply have to be patient.

And if for the purpose of fighting him I have to team-up with a rag-tag gang of some good for nothing future seeing, almighty proclaiming Mibu, then so be it.

If on the way to achieving my sole objective I get to clash swords against a few half-way decent fighters, pick up some new techniques, and make friends with the animals, then all the better.

As long as I'm promised that final fight, I'll be content.

I don't want a scuffle.

Or a merciful retreat.

If it means losing my left arm again, so be it.

It didn't hurt a bit. And it hurt even less when the Mibu reattached it.

A small price to pay for the chance of a real battle.

Something trivial as a hacked arm isn't going to prevent me from reaching my lifetime goal. The pain was nothing compared to how I would feel if I missed out on the chance to fight him.

Which is the reason why I've never been so determined in my life to win that round of rock, paper, scissors.

To decide who would get the first opportunity.

And true to my uncommonly stupid luck, I was victorious. And so it would seem that I was going to be the first Goyousei to battle Kyo.

And hopefully the last.

If it means he'll fight me only to spare my life, fine. I'll return to fight him another day.

Like the demon eyed warrior, I always pay my debts.

And he's coming soon. A hundred times more furious than before and ready to settle some scores now that he has honed his secret technique. I know I've said he has weakened in his current shell of a body especially under the influence of his new comrades. But…

I sensed an aura from Kyo that I've never witnessed before. A frightening yet exciting presence that promised something—I don't know what.

So I'll simply continue to feign my ignorance of his newfound, mysterious power until I figure out what it is and let him know I mean business.

Maybe I owe you a debt of gratitude for what you did, big brother.

No.

I refuse to be pulled in by your twisted act.

You know Kyo would have returned to Mibu on his own accord without any of your motivational tactics. What you did was unnecessary and uncalled for. You've always been determined, and even brutal.

But never heartless.

What happened to you, Shinrei?

Oh well. Nothing will matter anyhow, once I beat him.

So don't mind if I go ahead of you.

I'll fight him first. So you won't have to.

And you can release the curse on the girl and go about your way kowtowing to the Taishirou and worshipping the Red King.

The fight should be a good one. My eyes become glazed just thinking about what's to come.

And that's all I want in life.

Everything coming down to one battle.

Life would be so simple if you cleared your mind and chose a sole purpose for living.

My purpose is clear.

I simply live it like it is.

Like you, most ignore me. And the few that choose to listen end up walking away; more confused than ever or disappointed that they ever gave me the time of day.

Fine by me.

Just gives me more time to focus and gather my strength towards my one purpose in life.

And observe that caterpillar crawling up the tree.

You think I'm a simpleton. My life clouded by an obsession. I guess you don't know me at all.

Or maybe you do.

You have your rigid set of beliefs and I have my one goal.

You have your formulaic way of approaching things and I go freely about my way.

You joined your supreme team and I joined mine.

And that leaves us with the one sole difference that separated our whole way life.

And yet, we still share that one common bond.

And it makes me wonder…

If we're more alike than we think.

I still don't care for you.

And I still hate water.

But know this: after I accomplish my one purpose in life, convincing you of the truth will be the next.

If I manage to survive this battle.

Either which way, I'll get through to you.

Through your disillusioned beliefs and your rigid demeanor solidified by years of propaganda and unwavering discipline.

Because in the end-

Blood is always thicker than water.

-THE END-