NOTE: Mad Jack The Pirate is a Bill Kopp cartoon from 1998. I think this oneshot may be the very first fic of it on Fanfiction dot net. You know it's an obscure cartoon when 15 years pass and no one posts a fanfic on it. If any fans of the series come across this, I highly encourage them to read and review. This show needs more love!
The creak of floorboards and the gentle lapping of waves against the ship filled the air as the infamous Mad Jack the pirate paced back and forth across his ship. He had recently acquired a new cellphone, courtesy of his faithful rat friend, Snuk. He could be heard arguing loudly and screaming at Flash Dashing as Snuk sadly watched the full moon in the sky reflect off the water's edge. It was the fourth year in a row that Jack had forgotten his birthday. The first year, Snuk felt like it was an honest mistake and mentally forgave Jack. The second year, he began to feel a little sad. The third year, he was deeply upset and a little moodier than his usual calm that day but the fourth year, he felt like a part of his heart had withered away into dust.
In an abrupt fit of rage, Mad Jack chucked the phone clear off the ship and it hit the ocean with a loud splash. With a sigh, Snuk turned to face him, "Didn't go so well, sir?"
"You could say that again, Snuk. I can't believe Flash is dating my ex girlfriend." Jack groaned, "He had the nerve to tell me that he's a much better lover than I am."
"To be fair, you did date her for her money, Captain." Snuk replied.
Jack grabbed the rat by his large snout and squeezed it, "And what's wrong with that?"
"Nothing, sir." Snuk replied.
Instantly, Jack let go of his sidekick's snout and smirked in response, "Good, now if you'll excuse me. I'll be getting a little shut eye."
The pirate yawned and turned to walk towards the cabins when Snuk called out to him, "Sir..."
"Yes, Snuk?" Jack replied, with slight irritation in his voice.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" The rat asked innocently.
"Hmmmmm..." Jack rubbed his bearded chin, deep in thought, "Can't say I have, no...why do you ask?"
"My birth-...I mean um...nevermind, just go to sleep. It's pretty late out, anyway." Snuk replied sadly.
Jack blinked a few times, "Are you whining about your birthday again, Snuk? I can't believe you're upset over something so trivial. I mean, I never got any presents for MY birthday."
"If I had the money, I'd give you presents." Snuk replied, "I guess me remembering your birthday just isn't enough for you."
Jack scoffed at the rat, "You know what your problem is, Snuk? You're a friend without benefits. I'm sure half of the times I've failed, it could be chalked up to your stupidity."
Snuk choked back a sob and hung his head, a few briny tears rolling down his long snout and forming a large drop on the tip of his nose. Jack watched as the moonlight reflected on Snuk's tear for a few seconds before it fell from the rat's nose, plopping into the sea and adding more salt to the ocean.
Suddenly, the pirate burst out laughing really hard and his rat companion glared at him with a dirty look in his eye, "So, you think this is some kind of joke?"
After a few minutes of howling laughter, Jack wiped a tear from his eye and eventually composed himself, "Look Snuk, I think you're being way too emotional over this whole thing. I just think it's so silly that you're crying over something like a missed birthday. If anything, I have more to cry about than you like all that lost treasure. Don't be such a woman, Snuk."
The rat sniffled softly, too sad to reply and a series of sobs choked forth from his throat. Hot tears began falling freely from his eyes, hitting the wooden floor of the ship.
Jack watched emotionlessly as his first mate wept his heart out. The only thing that cut through the silence of the night was the sound of Snuk's gut-wrenching sobs, the creaking of the boat and the gentle waves splashing against it. Finally after a few minues, Snuk dragged an arm across his tear-streaked snout and gazed mournfully at the greedy captain. Finally, he spoke, "Flash Dashing told me everything. He opened my eyes to what you truly are, Jackson."
The cold, harsh way Snuk said his full first name actually sent a chill down Jack's spine. Normally, he was used to his rat buddy calling him sir, so this is what took him aback. Instantly, Jack regained his normally cocky composure, "Flash is nothing but a windbag whose full of himself."
Snuk shook his head slowly, "I wouldn't say that, Captain. Just this morning, he called me on that cellphone of yours. He told me that you're abusing me and taking advantage of my kindness. He also said that-"
"-Flash has absolutely no idea what he's talking about! He has no right to turn you against me like that! Next time I see him, I'll chop his head clean off and sell it on eBay." Jack interrupted, stomping his feet against the wooden floor.
"To be honest, I think you would get banned from eBay for that. The only way you could get away with that is if you used the deep web." Snuk replied.
"Good point." Jack said, rubbing his chin and stroking his beard.
Snuk let out an awkward cough, "As I was saying, I listened to Flash's words and what he said to me actually made a lot of sense. Because of your greed, I'm usually left to suffer as well. He explained to me what a poisonous friend is and to be honest, I think you fit the criteria."
"Poisonous friend?!" Jack spat, "What in the world are you talking about, Snuk? I practically treat you like a king! What more do you want from me?"
Snuk closed his eyes, feeling a new batch of warm tears sting his eyelids, "An apology. Or we're through as friends."
"Snuk, you don't mean..." Jack began.
"I'm dead serious, Jackson." Snuk replied, fixing a tearful yet cold glare on the pirate.
Jack folded his arms and glared right back, "I'm...too proud to apologize. Especially to a dirty rat like you!"
Snuk was beginning to cry again, but this time the tears were angry. With tears pouring down his face, he ran at Jack and tackled him to the ground, growling at him, "You know what you are, Jack? You are SCUM! You may have saved me from that cell but you know what? You've put me in an even WORSE situation! You think I'm just a stupid little rat who will stay by your side no matter how bad you screw up but you know what? I'm MUCH smarter than that! I know just how disgustingly greedy you are and to be honest, the only reason I've been with you for so long is because I feel SORRY for you. But you know what? NOW I see why you have no friends besides me, it's because I'm apparently the only one who will put up with your SHIT! That's right, I just said the S word! And you know what? I DON'T GIVE A BLOODY DAMN because all I've been subject to is your bullshit year after year after year. It's getting old, Jack and my patience is finally starting to wear thin so if you still want me if your life, you had better start BEGGING me because it's really the ONLY WAY I'll forgive you! Got it?!"
Jack was left completely speechless by Snuk's furious rant. A tear escaped his eye and started running down his face. The captain began sobbing quietly to himself as he buried his face in his hands. He wasn't prepared for the storm of anger brewing inside his adorable rat sidekick. Snuk's glare softened into a look of sad concern and he slowly wrapped his arms around Jack in a cozy, warm hug, letting him cry into his fur.
Snuk felt a couple tears of his own trail down his nose as he hugged the captain tight, "Promise me that you'll never hurt me again, okay? You're lucky that I believe in second chances."
"O...okay..." Jack squeaked out, accepting Snuk's tight squeeze of a hug.
"You don't know what a good thing you have until it's gone, Captain." Shuk replied, nuzzling Jack with his long snout.
For what seemed like hours, Jack cried in Snuk's arms, the rat stroking his back and nuzzling him. Finally, he regained composure and stood up, "Snuk?"
"Yes, Captain?" The rat asked with the most innocent, adorable smile on his face.
"Let's put this whole thing behind us and start a new thing." Jack replied, "I hope you can accept my apology."
Snuk gave a gentle nod, "You're forgiven. So, are you going to treat me with a little more respect? Because I wasn't bluffing when I said all that."
Jack hung his head and let out a deep sigh, "I'll try to, okay?"
Snuk looked at Jack with big, puppydog eyes, "Good!" The rat streched and let out a loud yawn, "You know, Captain, it is getting awfully late. We should be getting to bed right now."
But it was too late, the Captain was already asleep on the floor of the ship. A soft, knowing smile played across the rat's face as he walked over to the pirate's sleeping body and curled up with him. A warm tear of joy rolled down Snuk's nose, leaving a dark stain on Jack's red coat as he nuzzled him, "Sweet dreams, sir...sweet dreams."
And with that, the two fell asleep together. At one point, Jack put his arm around Snuk, cuddling the rat's warm, pudgy body close to him almost like how a child would cuddle a teddy bear. The soothing sounds of the gentle ocean waves filled the air as the sun slowly rose in the sky. The brand new day would be a surprsingly peaceful day for the greedy pirate and his cute, friendly sidekick. Of course, they'd be sleeping in late after the tiresome night of crying and starting their day in the afternoon. All was well with Mad Jack The Pirate and his rat sidekick, Snuk.
The End.