Author's note

I began writing this chapter about a few months ago, and I remember it well: I was sitting on a red velvet couch, it was a cold, December night, and I could see through the window the big, white thick mass of snow, raining down. with my MacBook Pro in my lap, I began writing. I had no real intention where this story would go, but I knew I wanted to write something funny. I never dreamt of making a 'Legend of Zelda parody' let alone post it on . I was actually terrified, this was going to be my first ever fanfiction. and so I wrote. The story developed in my head, even more, while I was writing it. Chapter one turned out better than I would have expected it. I'm currently working on Chapter two, which shouldn't take too long to complete. in the meantime, have fun reading this first segment of 'Legend of Zelda: the journey to Hyrule city'!

"Link, wake up,"

Link stirred around a bit. He'd recognize that that annoying voice anywhere.

"Link you son of a bitch, wake up!"

He wished that she wouldn't be so loud. He opened an eyelid. There, glaring in front of him was Zelda, sitting in the desk opposite of him, beckoning him to wake up. He was lying down, his arms stretched out on his desk, in what seemed to be a dark, candlelit classroom. he glanced at the clock that was hanging in the far left corner of the room. three-thirty, the clock read. that meant that the third period was almost over. good, he thought.

"You fell asleep as soon as Mrs. Impa started talking about the Sheika war vs the Picori," said Zelda.

Link nodded, slightly.

"if you sit up straight, she might not think you were slacking off, you bozo" Link glanced at Mrs. Impa, who was busy writing on her chalkboard. link slowly rose in his chair, opened his triforce skin notebook, took his pen out from his pocket, and tried very hard to look concentrated.

However, Mrs. Impa seemed to notice every single small movement, even when her back was to the classroom.

"Link," She said ominously, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. "Please see me after class." she continued writing Sheika runes on her chalkboard, then muttered something.

Zelda giggled at him. Link, feeling defeated, slumped back into his chair.

"It doesn't matter," said Zelda, trying to be comforting. "We'll have the whole of summer off. we definitely won't be seeing her for a while"

Link sat up again as soon as she had said that. he had forgotten about summer being right around the corner! how excited he was; the Skyloft festival would be soon, the recent un endangered Silent princess flowers would be in bloom, and of course: the annual Loftbird race. (last year hadn't gone too well; link had been the winner, but later afterwards when he went for a little stroll with Zelda, she had been sucked up by a gigantic hurricane Navi, and Link had had to go after Zelda, and it had been a huge thing, and then afterwards he had written a best-selling book about it: 'Skyward Sword: how did it come to this'

As the school bell rang, link watched as the whole class poured out into the hallway, and out into the country streets. Aryll would be waiting for him at home, Link thought. he wanted to get out of school as soon as possible. but first, he had to deal with Impa.

Link gathered his things and slowly made his way towards Impa. he glanced at back at Zelda, who was gathering her things too; she shot him a look that probably meant: "go on, get this over with, you fuck!"

Impa turned away from the scribbles of Shika-runes on the chalkboard and faced link. she let out a little sigh, and began: "Zelda, can you please leave us?" she said ominously.

"Of course, Mrs. impa." Zelda quickly grabbed her backpack and ran out of the room, thus leaving her and Link alone. Impa glared at him.

"Link, you've got a good sister," she said. Link was surprised at her; the teachers at Knight Academy weren't usually interested in their students outside life; Impa went on: "It would be a shame to keep her waiting, so I'll make this quick" she reached out and pulled out a magazine from her desk, and handed it to link. the title read 'Nintendo to announce a break-through game in Hyrule city at a special event: Nintendo 202X'

Link looked was puzzled. why was Mrs. Impa giving him news of the upcoming Nintendo event? Impa seemed to read his mind: she turned her back to him and made her way to the window. "About 3 hours from here is Hyrule city, the capital of this world we live in," she said, looking back at him. "you've never been to Hyrule city, have you link?"

He had only seen photos of the grand city in magazines or movies or then some more, but he had never been there in person, so he shook his head.

"You see," she went on, "My brother used to work for Nintendo back in the day," she smiled; "How he loved his job, going into the office at the crack of dawn, meeting his fellow comrades, he loved it all." her smile faded a bit.

"One night, I was waiting for him to come home; I had made him some dinner, but when he got home, he looked shaken, worried, frightened. I asked him what was wrong, but he pushed me away, told me not to involve myself, and that he simply needed to prepare for the upcoming Nintendo special event. he had been so excited when they announced the event, back at the beginning of the semester, he had been hard at work, preparing, planning, but I had never seen him in such a state. he rushed up to his office in the attic and started rummaging in the papers of his desk drawers. he stayed in there all night, working. When I woke the next day, he had gone, left no trace of where he had been possibly gone, not even a note! the following evening, I turned on the TV, Nintendo was going to live stream the event, I was hoping that I might see my dear brother there. but what I saw that day on the television shocked me: the event started, and Mr. Shuntaro Furukawa stepped on stage, followed by Mr. Hidemaro Fujibayashi,

and the crowd cheered for them, and they were glee with excitement. however, I noticed that Mr. Hidemaro Fujibayashi looked worried; I can tell people emotions by simply looking at them," she said.

No wonder, link thought, but he said nothing. Impa continued:

"They were rambling on about this new revolutionary product of theirs, but then, they said no more; for the stage lights turned a bright shade of red, and a loud siren came on. Fuji and Furukawa ran off stage, and for a while there was nothing. then, suddenly, there was a big 'boom' sound and the whole stage exploded. then, the stream stopped. I was shocked. what in Hylia's name had happened? the next morning I read in the paper that the whole area was going to be quarantined and that the whole explosion had been server malfunctions, and that was the end of it. as you probably know Link, the Nintendo headquarters have been under renovations these past two years." she was on the edge of her seat, leaning close to him. it was a lot for Link to take in, after all, he was just a 17-year-old graduate knight.

"I have no right to ask this of you link," she said. "but you are one of my top students here at Knight academy. you have skill, ambition, stealth, and bravery, most of all. I want you to go to Hyrule city, infiltrate the Nintendo headquarters, and find my dear brother, and bring him back to me. of course, it will be dangerous, it will be a long journey, with tons of unnecessary plot-twists, and there will most likely be a big battle involving you, in the end! what do you say Link?"

At first, Link said nothing. he didn't usually say much, but this time, he said absolutely nothing. then Impa said to him: "you don't have to give me an answer right now, but I'll be waiting. now go, go start your summer break, go home to your sister, read a book, have some fun, but please, do think about it, won't you?"

Link nodded, and then, he was on his way.

When he pushed the grand glass doors of Knight academy open, he found Zelda waiting for him, on a small bench talking to her best BFF Medli.

When she saw him, Medli immediately got up and waved to him:

"Hiiii Link," she said, in her usual annoying tone. "What was it old Mrs. Impa wanted from you?" then she made a pouty face: "You must not let her discourage you, Linky-poo, you're a great student."

Link cringed, and so did Zelda; Zelda had been friends with Medli since the beginning of time, (or so they say) but she had gotten used to Medli's annoying ways.

Link told them that he had to get home and that if he didn't go now, Aryill would worry. he wished them both a good summer and then he was off.

He heard Zelda say the same to Medli, and then she was walking beside him. "Hey, Link wait up!" Zelda caught up to him and punched his arm: "Dude, what's up? you look terrible." she punched his arm again. Link stopped walking. he sat down onto the pavement and rummaged into this bag. he pulled out his prized green tuque. he got up and pulled it on. then he turned to Zelda and said with a smile that it was nothing and that he was just tired, and wanted to take a nap. she believed this, or link thought she did. they made their usual small talk as they walked down the road that would lead to the village. when they got to the large lampost that marked the entrance to the village, Link and Zelda parted ways. Link lived in a little apartment in town, while Zelda, being the daughter of a multi-millionaire media owner, she lived in Gaepora manor, about, 30 minutes away from the village. Link bid her goodbye and walked into the busy bustling streets of the village. he loved his village; everything about it appealed to link: the small potion shops, the numerous pot shops, the restaurants, and the little apartments on top of the streets. and so link arrived at number 4 Zant drive, his own little apartment where he lived with his little (not so little anymore, huh Link?) sister, Aryll. he unlocked the door and walked in. Link checked the little mailbox cupboard. it was empty. and so he walked up the long winding stairs, up until he reached door 33, and walked in. he hung his grey hoodie on the coat hanger near the door and walked into the hall. usually, Aryll would be waiting for him near the living room. he had been a little late to come home, so perhaps she had worried? he thought.

Aryll must have heard him come in from upstairs because then she came running down the stairs, and down to greet him.

"Hey big brother," she said. "Let's make some dinner!" she smiled.

she led him to the Kitchen, where she had a cookbook open, the title read: how to make spicy meat and seafood fry; which happened to be Link's his favourite food. "I need some spices," she said, and turned to him, with a big smile on her face. "Can you go down to the village and get some for me?"

Link nodded and went to the coat hangar to fetch his hoodie. he was glad, he needed some space to think about Impa's request.

Link bit Aryll goodbye and went down to the village.

He walked down the long, winding streets, and made it to the big village square, where the village would be preparing for the Skyloft festival. he grinned and headed to one of the stands. the stand read 'Telma's spice shop' he headed towards it.

"Why, hello there Link, are you off for the summer, eh?"

Link said yes, and that he was making dinner for his sister and him, and that he needed some spices, and that they were making spicy meat and seafood fry. Telma nodded and said that she had just the thing to spice up their dinner. she handed him a small glass with a label saying 'spicy hot beware' link handed her a yellow rupee and a blue one. she wished him a good summer and said to come back anytime. as he turned around, meaning to head back home, his sheika slate vibrated in his pocket. he took it out and opened it up. the small pixelated screen read ' ' ' he pulled it closer to his face and opened up the 'messages' app. the text read 'hey dude, what's up?' and then, 'just got back to the manor, what are you up to tomorrow?' he texted her back saying that he had nothing planned and that they could meet up in the park not too far from the village. Zelda texted back saying 'ok cya then'

Link closed the sheika slate and put it back into his pocket.

When he got back to the apartment, he found Aryll sitting on the couch, talking on the phone. he eyed her as he put down his groceries on the kitchen table. he heard her say: "All right, see you then. bye."

Whom could that be? Link thought. when he asked, she told him that it was her friend Sheik and that she was coming from Hyrule city to the see upcoming the Skyloft village festival, and that she had offered her to stay here. Link considered this. it had been a long time since they had had any visitors, and of course, the upcoming Skyloft village festival was always pleasant to see, and Sheik waw Aryll's friend.

So he said yes, and that Sheik would very, very welcome.