Good Night
Jack and Ianto sat at the conference room table, warming themselves over a late night cup of coffee, each lost in their own thoughts. Ianto cleared his throat as if to say something, but as Jack looked over at him, the younger man just stared into his coffee cup.
"Ianto, look at me," Jack said softly. "What is it?"
His eyes flicked up and met Jack's but he couldn't seem to maintain eye contact.
"I wish… I want tell you something…"
"You know you can tell me anything…"
The younger man could hear the barest hint of a flirt in Jack's response. Even as used to Jack's ways as he was, he maddeningly found his cheeks flushing in response. Taking a big sip of coffee, and clearing his throat once again, he finally managed to say what had been on his mind all day.
"I dreamt about you last night."
Jack leaned back in his chair, fingering his cufflinks and waited for Ianto to continue. Ianto suspected, although he couldn't look at him, that Jack's eyes would have sparkled a bit at the mention of dreams, and then darkened in worry. He was right.
"I knew it was a dream because I was standing in front of Lisa's grave, and Lisa doesn't have a grave. But there I was, looking down at her grave and wondering how I was ever going to be able to go on without her. I wanted to fall apart. I wanted to fling myself on her grave and weep until I had no tears left, until there were no tears left in the world. But I couldn't move. I couldn't seem to make myself do anything. I was frozen there, held by some invisible force."
Ianto pushed himself back from the table, and turned in his chair to face Jack, finally able to meet his eyes, although he couldn't for the life of him figure out where he found the strength.
"You, Jack. You were there behind me, supporting me, somehow containing my grief. You were holding a bunch of white lilacs, and the scent of the flowers, and the damp earth, and … and you… all combined was filling my nose and making me dizzy. And as I watched, you knelt down and set the flowers gently on top of her grave. Then you stood up and took my hand. You took my hand and led me away from the graveside. You saved me Jack."
Ianto continued to meet Jack's gaze. There were so many emotions raging through him. He wanted to weep. He wanted to fling himself into Jack's arms and apologize for his betrayal. He wanted to find a way to thank this man who had given him so much. But he couldn't say or do anything. He just let everything well up and trusted that Jack would be able to see what was going through his mind, what he was trying to say with his heart.
Jack had been reading people for centuries, and he saw all that Ianto couldn't say and more in those eyes shining with emotion. There had always been a connection between the two men, some indefinable spark that had been smoldering ever since they met. But in that moment, a bond was formed, a pledge of fidelity was made, a kind of love, given and received, and somehow each man felt stronger for it.
Standing, and gathering the coffee cups up on his tray, Ianto turned to his boss, and asked, "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Jack stood. He took Ianto's hand and pulled him into an embrace. For one brief moment the younger man burrowed his head into the older one's shoulder, and felt the ghost of a kiss on his temple. A whispered sentiment reached his ears.
"I always want to know when I'm in your dreams, Ianto."
And with a feather light caress of the younger man's neck, Jack stepped back and said, as he started towards the door, "That's everything. Good night Ianto. Sweet dreams."
Ianto watched him walk down the stairs and disappear into his office, and as he picked up the tray with the cups and started across to the kitchenette, he heard music spilling from the office downstairs.
I've got you under my skin
I've got you deep in the heart of me
So deep in my heart, that you're really a part of me
I've got you under my skin.
I've tried so not to give in
I've said to myself this affair never will go so well
But why should I try to resist, when baby I know so well
That I've got you under my skin.
I'd sacrifice anything come what might
For the sake of having you near
In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night
And repeats, repeats in my ear.
Don't you know you fool, you never can win
Use your mentality, wake up to reality
But each time I do, just the thought of you
Makes me stop before I begin
cause I've got you under my skin.
And for the first time in what seemed like forever, Ianto smiled.
a/n: I swore I would never write a songfic, but these Sinatra tunes just made me think of Jack and Ianto… go listen to Sinatra's version of "I've Got You Under My Skin" and see…