CHRISTMAS ON EARTH
Frank, Columbia, Magenta and Riff Raff were sitting in the ball-room.
It was not common for them to have diner in the ball-room in question, but tonight was a special night. It was Christmas Eve on earth.
"Magenta, could you please hand me out the potatoes?" Frank asked and Magenta shoved the bowl of potatoes into his direction.
"Thank you, Magenta," Frank said sarcastically and furrowed his brows.
The Transylvanians didn`t know anything about Christmas, but since Columbia had insisted on celebrating this silly earthen habit, Frank had decided that it could be a funny thing to do.
"Columbia," Frank tried to start up a conversation, "Have you noticed my new heels?"
"Uh?" Columbia shovelled a fork of turkey into her mouth and tried to catch a glance at Frank`s feet from the corner of her eye.
"Flankfie, fer amafing," Columbia looked surprised and chew heavily – her mouth still open.
Frank glanced at her with a sour look at his face and decided to concentrate himself on his own food.
An enlightened Christmas tree was standing beside the juke-box – decorated with small pink plastic-heels, glitter and candles.
It had been Columbia`s handiwork and she was really proud of it.
The three Transylvanians didn`t know what this rather queer wrapped up conifer was meant to be, but they agreed with each other that it looked somewhat nice.
"Merry Christmas," Columbia suddenly shrieked and stormed towards the poor conifer. "Time to open our presents!"
The three Transylvanians stared at each other and shrugged their shoulders.
Then, the three rose and went over to the Christmas tree.
Five presents were lying under the tree.
"Frankie, since you`re the prince I think you got two presents," Columbia said and handed Frank a nice wrapped package.
Frank glared, but Columbia smiled at him.
"Open it!" she demanded and Frank ripped the purple paper up.
"Oh, it`s a new whip," he smiled and let the whip dangling in his hand, "and it`s covered with little pink spikes."
At this statement, Riff Raff started to inspect the tree from behind.
"Magenta, you`re next," Columbia clapped her hands in excitement.
Magenta took her present and opened it with all her force. The tattered paper was still flying around as Magenta`s face froze.
"It`s a punching bag," she said emotionless and punched it without any force. "How nice."
"Riff Raff, this one is for you," the groupie rose to give the handyman his present.
Riff Raff nodded slightly and opened it carefully.
"It`s a rag," he said bluntly and held the rag into the air.
"Are you not happy about it?" Frank suddenly shouted. He had been standing in the middle of the ball-room, testing his first present with all his force, while Riff Raff`s jerky spasm had intensified.
"Everything`s alright, master," Riff Raff hastily answered and cracked a smile.
"What`s my second present?" Frank wanted to know and Columbia handed him a small package.
Frank removed the glittering paper and froze.
Then, he shook his head slightly and started to pet something inside the box.
He snuffled in a fake manner and tried his fake tears with one hand.
"It`s a blond pet," he whispered.
"No, it`s a blond wig," Columbia corrected without thinking and took her own present.
"Now, this is mine and I`m eager to know what`s inside," she said and ripped the paper to sheds.
A second later, her face froze, too.
She looked up to the three Transylvanians – a look of utter disbelief in her face.
"It`s a piece of meat..."
Sorry, this story sucks, but it came blurting out of my mind tonight and I decided, that I have to put up a Christmas-story – no matter what you think. So again: sorry for this!
*************************************************************MERRY CHRISTMAS******************************************************