First things first: I do not own ToS. If I did... oh if I did indeed...

Anyways, for those who haven't picked up on this yet, this fic contains YAOI or slash, m/m, whatever you want to call it. That means guys loving other guys. If you can't handle that, then I suggest you press that little back button at the top of your screen. It isn't hard to leave this fic and other fics like it alone.

Now that that nasty bit of business is over and hopefully those that do not wish to see a wonderful Yutos have left, I give the rest of you an apology. I'm sure that by accident or possibly some purpose, there are ooc bits in here and inaccuracies. I hope that you can forgive me.

I want to give a special thanks to readers of my other fic who actually did check this fic out.

Onward march!

Convincing Me

Yuan was in the sitting room attached to his bedroom in Sylvarant base. He lounged, drinking wine and watched the flames in the fireplace flicker anxiously. A soft knock dented his peaceful silence and the flames danced wildly at the door's gentle woosh.

Kratos entered, drenched even under his armor, and sat down a little way from his fellow seraphim. He silently reached over and poured himself a glass of wine without invitation.

No words passed between them for some time.

"I need your help."

Yuan raised an eyebrow at Kratos whose face was so blank, he might not have said anything at all.

"I need you to convince me not to go back."

Yuan stood and moved to stand next to the fire, leaning against the mantle.

"Why me?" He refused to look away from the flames.

"... You are as different from Mithos as possible. If anyone can do it, you can." Yuan turned and held Kratos' gaze. He was surprised by a pleading, pained look in the normally stoic swordsman's eyes.

Yuan nodded and began to pace, "Mithos hasn't been entirely... stable since M-martel died. his perceptions have been altered. His interpretation of her last wish is twisted! You must fight him. He can't fix your wrongs. you won't be absolved this way! Furthermore, it isn't going to make you... happy."

Yuan stopped in a fit of passion and faced Kratos, whose face had gone very pale.

"I know." To the blue-haired seraphim's horror, the other man's masks fell and he began to sob. Reacting on instinct, Kratos was suddenly in his arms, hair being stroked gently.

"I'm sorry... it's alright... it's going to be okay..." he murmured into the redhead's hair, breathing in the rich scent of Kratos, and wondering exactly what he had said to upset the other.

When his comrade of millennia had calmed down, he turned the man to face him and wiped the tears away with his thumb.

"Kratos, Kratos... don't worry. You don't need to join him, you know. You can stay here." The other man looked on the verge of tears again. Yuan swiftly hugged him to his chest, both to try to shield Kratos and so he wouldn't have to see the seraphim at his worst. The blue-haired pseudo angel pressed his lips to luscious red locks, then to a smooth forehead, then met soft lips quickly before he pulled away.

"Yuan."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean-" he was silenced by those lips again and they were both engulfed by a fervent passion.

Moments later, the bedroom door's lock clicked and the rustle of cloth was the only testament to their ardor.

-

Yuan woke with a warm weight on his chest. his fingers were tangeld in silky, red locks and the dual scent of sex and Kratos invaded his lungs.

Suddenly, he was angry. He wanted to push the sleeping man off of himself, but his aggression only served to make him remember what had happened before, in the parlor. He remembered Kratos' desperation and sadness. He remembered the kiss he gave the swordsman and the feelings that had prompted it.

Yuan felt fear slice through his heart. He was afraid of the potential anger Kratos might have for his witness of a complete emotional breakdown; afraid of the anger he would face for kissing the swordsman and sleeping with him; and most afraid of the love he felt for his fellow seraphim.

Yuan closed his eyes and submitted to his heart. He opened them again to take in the new world this knowledge gave him. His eyes rested on Kratos, who had never looked more relaxed. Gone were the masks that marked him as cold or distant. He looked comforted, safe and a smile, not a smirk, had worked its way onto the stony features as he reveled in even-breathed slumber.

Yuan cherished that image and stored it in his mind forever.

"I'm sorry, Kratos. You came to me for help and all I did was fall in love. I do love you. I'm sorry."

Kratos opened his eyes and tilted his head up to see the other seraphim better. Yuan noted an expression on his face that seemed free and pure, even... innocent. Kratos lifted himself out of Yuan's hold and turned so that they faced each other before lying down once again. The small smile never left his face as he brushed loose strands of blue hair from the other man's face and kissed Yuan's forehead, then eyes, then lingered on his mouth.

When they broke apart, Yuan was just short of grinning.

"Does this mean that I've convinced you?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew he had said the wrong thing.

Every single mask that had been broken the night before was quickly reinstated. The sadness and confusion that had been on that face the night before swam to the surface before layers of stone slammed them down. Kratos stood abruptly, causing Yuan to sit up. The auburn-haired man dressed quickly, but seemed reluctant in his urgency.

Yuan cursed himself inwardly for bringing up the subject. He knew- or, more accurately, imagined- that if he had said nothing, perhaps the happiness that the other seraphim had felt would have persuaded him to stay by Yuan's side.

Kratos, who had been silent this entire time, was striding away, but stopped before the door. Yuan wanted to beg him to stop, to not walk out of that door, out of his- their- life.

"I'm human, I make mistakes. So, I went to you. I knew- thought- that is anyone could do it, you could; but not because you are so different from Mithos. It was because I love... loved you. Excuse me, Yuan. I must go before Mith- Yggdrasill becomes suspicious." Kratos hung his head and typed in the unlock-code.

Yuan was shocked, but would not let the war god go without a fight. He became angry once again.

"You're just going to leave after all this? I love you, and now I know that you love me too! I've just given you everything! Mithos, Yggdrasill, whatever he wants to be called, can't and wouldn't do that for you! He won't try to catch you if you fall, not for the same reason... Fine! Don't say anything. Pretend this never happened and you can go right back to being Yggdrasill's PET! That's right! Act like he doesn't do anything to you when he summons you to 'report.' He doesn't care about you, but go ahead. Leave the one who does and go back to your pathetic excuse for a life."

Kratos froze and half-turned, but thought better of it. Closing his eyes, he finished typing in the code and the door whooshed open. He lifted his eyes to the dark room before him, then hung his head again and took one shaky, uncertain step. Yuan could have sworn that he said something before disappearing into the dark, cold sitting room.

"I'm sorry, Yuan."

The dual-sabreist grabbed a fistful of blanket and tore the covers off. He jumped out of bed and raged about the room upsetting lamps and furniture and throwing the mattress off its frame.

"DAMN! DAMN YOU MITHOS! DAMN IT ALL! FIRST MARTEL AND NOW KRATOS! ARGH! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TAKE AWAY THE PEOPLE THAT I LOVE! Damn you... Yggdrasill! Damn... Damn..."

The anger fell away from Yuan and collapsed into a chair. He put his head in his hands and wept. He wept for himself, for Martel, of Mithos, for the days they all used to share. But above all, he wept for Kratos and the life they could have shared.

'I need you to convince me.'

Yuan looked up with a hardened edge in his eyes.

"Yes, Kratos," he said it aloud as if to promise the world, "I will convince you. With every fiber in my body and with whatever it takes, I will convince you."

The seraphim stood and put aside his anger and pain. He dressed and put resolve on his face. He would wage a private war on Yggdrasill and convince Kratos.

And yes, he would convince Kratos.

There's the first Chapter! I'm putting the second chappie up immediately after this, so I'll make my notes there.