Now I know
That I can't make you stay
But where's your heart?
But where's your heart?
But where's your
And I know
There's nothing I can say
To change that part
To change that part
To change
"Oh, hold on a sec, someone's calling me. I'll meet up with you in a few minutes, okay?" Mac told Cassidy as they walked through the party holding hands.
"Uh, okay, I'll be over here" Cassidy replied. Mac quickly moved to a less crowded area and answered her phone while Cassidy ran into Dick who insisted 'Beav make Ghost World drink up if he wants to get any action tonight'.
"Hey Veronica" Mac answered her phone casually, not knowing the seriousness of what Veronica was about to tell her. "Mac! Thank God, are you alone?" Veronica asked, not wanting to be overheard by Cassidy in case he was standing right there.
"Yeah, why?" Mac asked clearly confused as to what Veronica would have to say that could be so important nobody else could hear.
"You have to get away from Beaver. Do whatever you have to do, but get away from him, he's dangerous," Veronica blurted out. Mac could tell she was worried, but was still confused. Cassidy, dangerous? How can you put those two together without the word 'not' between them?
"His name is Cassidy. And Veronica, I'll be careful, okay. You don't have to worry about me, I can take care of myself!" Mac yelled. She was frustrated. How could Veronica think something so bad about Cassidy? He wouldn't hurt a fly. Mac knew this, she's his girlfriend for crying out loud! She knows Cassidy better than anybody.
"Mac! I'm ser..." Before Veronica could finish, Mac hung up the phone. She was tired of Veronica thinking she knows what's best for everyone.
"Hey! Cassidy!" Mac yelled over the music while watching her boyfriend tilt his head back to finish the contents of the cup his older brother Dick gave him.
"Mac, you want to go check out the room?" Cassidy suddenly asked.
"It's liquid. It's courage. It's liquid courage," Mac said surprised by Cassidy's question.
"Yeah, well there's nothing up there that I'm afraid of"
"Mac? Are you sure you're okay?" Cassidy asked genuinely as he shut the door to the hotel room behind them both.
"Um, I'm not sure. It was Veronica," Mac cleared her throat, "On the phone earlier. She was worried about me being near you. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?" Mac asked looking at Cassidy worriedly.
"Uh, no. I don't think so, why? What'd she say?" Cassidy asked his voice shaking and breaking. A tear began to fall down Mac's left cheek.
"Well the way you ask makes me believe otherwise," Mac choked back her tears. "I should have listened," she whispered so Cassidy could barely hear.
"What exactly do you think you know?" Cassidy asked with new found control of his voice. If he was already terrible in Mac's eyes, he didn't have to be gentle about it.
"Nothing. She just said you were dangerous, said I had to get away from you," Mac stated, trying to be brave.
"But you obviously didn't listen. See, I never wanted you to know. The whole world could know before I'd let you get hurt by me," He cried.
"Cassidy? What have you done?" Mac asked, her eyes, ears and every fiber of her being seeking the truth that he had hid from her.
"I don't wanna do this," He sighed. But he could tell Mac needed to know and would know soon. It could either be explained by him or somebody else, but either way she would know his secrets. "Where do I start?" He asked.
"You shouldn't have to start. Say it's not true. Say you're not dangerous," Mac begged.
"But I am! I raped your best friend! I killed Curly Moran! I killed your classmates on the bus! You should have listened to Veronica. And it kills me that you chose to believe in me when you should have ran," Cassidy went from yelling to sobbing in an instant.
"I don't believe you," Mac whispered.
"Well you have to"
"Why? Why would you do those things? I know you better than that Cassidy!"
"Woody Goodman," He muttered the name as if it were garbage. "He, uh, he..."
"Out with it!" Mac yelled sick of Cassidy's lies. They had to be lies, didn't they?
"He molested me when I played for his little league baseball team! Okay!? That's why I had to get rid of Marcos and Peter! They were gonna go public, "the outing of all outings". I couldn't let that get to my dad or Dick. I told you they picked on me, but you don't even know what it's like to already be torn to pieces by your own family just to have somebody take advantage of you because of it! I couldn't take it anymore!" Cassidy yelled, sobbing.
"Is that why you aren't attracted to me?"
"I'm attracted to you Mac. I don't know how, but some part of me can't stand to see you crushed by what I've done," Cassidy admitted.
"That's not attraction Cassidy, it's pity. You know what I hate about all this? That I feel sorry for you. That I still love you. That I want you to be safe. But you can't. Not while Veronica and I are alive"
"I have a gun in my bag. I'll use it if I have to," Cassidy threatened.
"Cassidy, please don't," Mac begged.
"Thanks for being there for me. It makes me wish I had let the secret out. You would've been there for me"
"Of course"
"You may not have known everything about me, but I care about you Mac. Don't forget that"
"I care about you too," Mac said.
"I won't forget it," Cassidy whispered as he kissed her forehead. He reached into his bag.
Veronica and the hotel security heard two gunshots as they ran down the hallway of the Neptune Grand towards Cassidy's room.
I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead