A story inspired by the song that gave it its title. Takes place from five to seven years after Shinichi becomes Conan. Ai is still working on a permanent cure but has yet to succeed. Featuring an uncharacteristically gloomy Ayumi at Christmas time. Before you say anything about mixed tenses, that is done intentionally to signify between present day and flashbacks. If in some way I messed up outside of that reason though feel free to point it out. Also, I do not own the characters here and am simply borrowing them for my own enjoyment, and possibly the enjoyment of anyone who reads this. I hope you enjoy.

DfK out.

I sit here looking around at the smiling people around me. The music is playing, a Christmas song, but I'm not really paying much attention to it. I can't really seem to bring myself to be in a good mood right now though. They're all smiling and having fun, and they don't seem to notice me here alone. Wait, someone is coming this way. It's Shinichi-niisan's mother.

She's sitting in the empty seat beside me. "Ayumi-chan, are you alright." She asks me in a cheerful voice, though I can hear some concern in it as well.

I sigh a bit then look up at her and try to smile. I think she can tell it's not sincere though. "Yes, I am fine Yukiko-obachan." I tell her. Really, I don't feel much like talking right now.

She starts to get up but looks at me again, "Would you like me to get you a drink?" I shake my head 'no' and look down at my hands clasped in my lap. I hear her footsteps leaving me as she goes to talk with the other guests.

This is the Kudo's third annual Christmas party. They started throwing them here when I was eleven even though their son hasn't even been to one of them. Ran-neechan says he's on a big case that's really important. He must be really lonely; he can't even see his family or friends on the holidays.

I let out another sigh. I can hear Genta-kun and Mitsuhiko-kun singing now, along with the new song. Everyone else is having fun, but I just can't. Not since what happened last year.

I was talking to Ai-chan, I think I had been asking her a question about our science homework, when I saw him over her shoulder. Conan-kun was leaving the party, and I could tell from the way his shoulders slumped that he was upset. I excused myself as nicely as I could then I followed him.

I remember that when I reached the hallway I could hear a door closing a little loudly upstairs. That was how I knew where he had gone, and so I went up too. It didn't take me very long to find him. He was in one of the bedrooms sitting in the dark with his back to the door. He must have heard the door opening though since he seemed to jump a bit before turning to look at me. "Oh, it's you." He said quietly, and I could hear how upset he was in his voice. "Look, could you please just leave me alone for a while."

Suddenly I am aware of a cup of fruit punch being held just over my hands where it would be right in front of my eyes. I follow the arm holding the drink to see the face of Mitsuhiko-kun looking at me with a worried expression. I take the cup and thank him softly. I take a sip of the juice before he asks me, "What's wrong Ayumi-chan?"

I shake my head slowly as I reply, "Nothing, I'm alright."

I know that he doesn't believe me from his eyes and he says as much to me. "No you're not, you're sad, and something that makes you look this sad has to be pretty big." He's talking like he does when he's explaining something in class, but I know he feels bad for me.

I stare into my drink for a moment before I decide to tell him. I know he'll keep asking if I don't. "It's just," I pause for a moment to take a breath and gather myself, "Remember last Christmas?" I guess he does as he doesn't say anything else, just mutters a sound of understanding before leaving me to myself again.

I didn't want to leave him alone. Instead of doing what he had asked I walked over to the bed he was on and sat so I could face him, and I could see his eyes following me as I did. "I really hate it when my friends are upset," 'especially you Conan-kun.' I didn't say the last part out loud, only in my thoughts. "Please tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing," he grumbled as he crossed his arms and turned his head sharply to look at his lap. "I just need to be alone for a while, alright?"

I guess I should have known he wouldn't tell me right away. He is always trying to keep things from us like he's afraid to tell us. Or maybe it's that he thinks we won't understand. He does whisper with Ai-chan a lot. Anyway, I had to think of a different way to ask him if it was going to get anything from him. "I promise I'll leave you alone after you tell me."

I saw his shoulders fall in defeat as I heard him mutter something under his breath. I couldn't hear what it was, but then he looked back up at me again. There was just enough light coming from the window that I could see his eyes shining with tears, though none had fallen down his face. "I… I just found out that she's not going to wait for me anymore."

I couldn't help but wonder who he was talking about, so I had to ask, "Who is 'she'?"

He turned away from me, back to the window that he'd been looking through when I had first found him. "She's," he paused for a second and he looked like he was thinking, but he continued almost right away, "She's a girl I know, from before I met you and the others. I haven't been able to see her in a really long time." I nodded, but I didn't say anything.

So that was why he had never seemed to want a girlfriend. He already had someone he liked. But he had said that she wasn't going to wait for him. Did that mean they had broken up? I remember thinking about that before he continued, "She promised she would wait for me to go back and see her again but…" He trailed off choking on his words. "I guess it was too much for me to ask of her"

He growled then and clenched his hands into fists, "I can't take it anymore!" he slammed his fists into the mattress in front of him. He didn't raise his voice, but he could have been shouting with the way he had said it. He started rambling about a lot of things like crows and poisons, and I remember he even mentioned some different kinds of alcohol. I didn't really understand what it all had to do with him or the girl he mentioned so I just kept quiet and let him get it all out.

After a bit he trailed off and just began sobbing. At that I moved forward and pulled him close to me in a hug and I just held him like that. I could feel him shaking in my arms. Eventually he began to calm down. He backed away and stared at me with his eyes red from crying before closing the distance and muttered a quiet 'thank-you' before he kissed me gently on the lips. I was startled, but it was also like a dream come true, so I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back.

I am startled when a voice suddenly breaks into my thoughts, "He really is a heartbreaker isn't he?" Looking to the now occupied seat beside me I see that it is Ai-chan that is talking to me now, though she is looking somewhere else. I follow her gaze and see the boy that I had just been thinking about. As though he feels our eyes on him he suddenly looks over at us.

Our eyes meet for a moment before I look away, shrinking into my seat as far as I can go. "He. You like Conan-kun too, Ai-chan?"

She just looks at me calmly like she always does, just looking and saying nothing for a few seconds. I am about to say something when she places her hand on my shoulder. "Don't let the past haunt you." I feel her grip tighten a bit before she gets up and walks away from me. As I watch her back I can't help but wonder how long she was there before I noticed.

Conan went to the washroom to clean up a bit, while I waited in the hallway giddy about the kiss we had shared. It was really short, only a few seconds, and completely innocent, but that didn't make it mean any less to me. When he came out we both went back to the party together. We spent the rest of the night together and had a really good time. We danced a bit, and even sang on the karaoke machine that Yukiko-obachan rented, even though Conan-kun's voice is still really bad. I was actually feeling a little sad when I had to go home, but all of us in the Shonen Tantei Dan made plans to meet the next day.

Conan-kun was the only one there when I got to Beika Park where we planned to meet. Even though it was cold and there was snow on the ground he still had his soccer ball and was kicking it against the wall. I called out to him and I couldn't help giggling when he missed the ball in his distraction. He looked a little irritated at that but I ran forward and hugged him apologizing in case it was my laughing that he was mad about.

I could feel something was wrong right away when he stiffened in my grip. He pushed be away, and I could tell he was being gentle so he wouldn't hurt me. He looked at my face for a moment before turning to retrieve his ball. "I shouldn't have come today." He said as he picked it up and began walking towards his home.

I ran forward and grabbed his arm, "Wait Conan-kun. Why are you leaving? Everyone will be here soon."

He just shook his head and pulled his arm from my grasp. "Look, I'm really sorry for what I did to you last night. It was wrong of me, to lead you on." With that he walked away, and all I could do was stare with my arms hanging loosely at my sides. Did that mean he didn't really like me? I kept thinking about that until I heard the others calling out to me.

I look up again just in time to see Genta-kun walking towards me. He looks a little unsure of himself, but I guess that makes sense. He has always been more of the loud, action type. Maybe Ai-chan suggested he come talk to me. When he stops in front of me I am looking up into his eyes. I wait for him to say something, but he just keeps fidgeting with his hands. Finally, I decide that I need to be the one to break the silence. "Genta-kun?"

My voice seems to have done something, because before I can say anything more he speaks up, "Ayumi I," he pauses, but only for a brief moment. "I don't like this." He frowns in thought. I think he is looking for just the right words to say.

"What don't you like?" I ask, hoping to encourage him a bit.

He looks more determined now, like when we have a new mystery to solve. "It's not fair. You're so sad when everyone else is happy." He crosses his arms and looks every bit the leader he always says he is. "You should be having fun too, so why aren't you?"

I am about to tell him that, 'I just don't feel like having fun.' but something stops me. Instead I ask him to sit down and I tell him the entire story. I haven't told anyone about it before now. All they know it that something happened between Conan-kun and me.

When I finish my story Genta-kun is looking really angry and glaring at where Conan-kun is across the room. He moves to stand, but I grab his sleeve to stop him. He turns to me and I can see that he really looks like he wants to hurt Conan-kun. "Please don't." I ask of him.

"But." He glances over his shoulder to Conan-kun, then back at me, "He really hurt you."

I shake my head a little bit, "Yes he did, but I know that he is hurting too."

"But." He starts to protest again before letting out a sigh. He still looks angry though when he continues, "I really care about you Ayumi." He seems to deflate a little, as though saying those words somehow calms him. "I never want to see you get hurt, no matter who does it." By now his cheeks are looking a little red and I can't help but smile, my first real smile all evening.

Epilogue:

It has been a year now and the Kudos are throwing another party for the holidays. I know that this year's will be better than last. As I walk into the library where most of the celebration takes place I happen to look up at the top of the door and spot a new decoration that wasn't there these last few years. I pause in my steps and he stops as well when he notices my hesitation. I nod to point out what I saw and I smile at him.

He smiles as well and leans down so we can kiss. It only lasts a second, but I notice a flash of light from the corner of my eye before we part. I am not worried about that as I look into his eyes. I took me most of the year to be sure about it but, "I love you, Genta."