Rising
By:
Jen AKA: Banance
April,
2001
Standing; watching
the beautiful sun rise sending orange and other warm colors of the day
spreading across the heavens, filling the shadows of the surface. It seems
so simple.
The
sun appears beautiful from the outside; tucked into its blue face like
a brilliant yellow eye, but on the inside, it's a hideous orb of blazing
gas, exploding with poisonous fumes. At the initial glance, it's everything
to the Earth, but when you look closer, you realize-in vain-how inadequate
it really is. It burns our skin, damaging us for all our lives.
We lose our breath
at the intake of beauty, yet it has the power to steal our existence away.
There's never been a more vast irony then the sun… But there's me.
I possess the
magnificence found only in legends. Not even the most talented artist can
capture the mystifying exquisiteness that is me.
Ha. No, I am
not conceited.I've been told such
things by complete strangers. It doesn't seem peculiar, being who I am;
being Ichijouji Ken.
Just another
reason that I'm so flawed. I've hurt so many people and Digimon with my
self-involved ways. I let my ego get the best of me. I hadn't realized
how many things would be interrupted by my cruelty; how many things have
rested on my shoulders that I had not known.
I'm so much like
the sun, it frightens me.
I had a beautiful
rise into the world, bring joy to the nearest and dearest. With luck they
will be affect, all the same, by my descend.
My life is shaky
now, and as my hours go on I will come to the peek of my life, where I
will finally meet my fall, as I faded into this world.
The sun can manage to set
with grace after a day in which everyone grows to regret. That day between
sunrise and set can be forgotten as the year continues on.
Will I endure this fate as
well?
I suppose it will be.
I can only hope someone will
remember the mistakes I've made, so that they won't be repeated.
I hold the deepest sorrows
for days long past dead. Regret plays within those dawns. Regret plays
within my own dawn.
How can I rid myself of those
regrets?
I was so alive then. Now
I lay, sluggish upon the Earth, like the sun shining at high noon.
Will my sunset be as beautiful
as my sunrise?
I hope so.
Sitting, watching the sun
fall to its nightly fate, painting the sky in dark shadows or regret again.
The sun's so conceited. It seems so complicated.
~End~
A/N: Okay, I was in sick delirium when I wrote this. Don't blame me…
Eepp…
