I:U Username: Ya-chan
Story Title: A Little Bit Longer
Story Summary: People. They do not know what they got until it's gone. Maybe, that's how the world spells the word reality for us.
Story Rating: Rated K+
Warnings: Might become OOC because of the drama genre. Ryoma's POV.
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis, and, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!
You don't even know.
And you never even had the chance to know, since you are already inside that thing.
This is a place that you never wanted to be in. Am I right, Ryuzaki?
I know that you always wanted to be in the light, but now, where are you? You are now succumbed in the darkness. This darkness is a little bit unexpected, and the coldness caused by the falling snow is unstoppable.
You are fine, you are sweet, and most especially, you are very kind. At first, I do not know why you're being too modest in front of me. But the modesty, the sweetness, and the kindness—those words that mostly define you, are the words that hurts me so much. Now that I'm alone with your departure. Now that you are inside that thing.
The light that you loved so much is too hard to relish, with the memory of you playing in my mind. The way how you blushed so mad whenever I'm around, and the way how your cold hands touches mine everytime you wish me goodluck, are the things that I'm missing so much.
Do you remember the time when we first met? Ah, foolish me! I do not even know that you are inside the same train, until you mentioned it to me when we sat on the bench, drinking our favorite juice together. And at the same day, you saw me play on the court when the boastful man from the train dared me to have a match with him.
It's the same day where I first saw your dazzled reaction lay upon me.
But unfortunately, the next time we met, I unintentionally forgot who you are. When you approached me together with your bestfriend, the same reaction pulled together—nonchalance. When you asked me if I remember you, and I said that I do not, your shocked expression is… priceless. Your hands cupped your blushing cheeks, and narrowing eyebrows creased your forehead. That expression stuck in my mind, and to pull it together, I do not know why but I only recognized your face by the time that I am taking my shower.
And starting from that day, your admiration amused me so much.
Whenever you cook something for me, I make sure that I eat them all. I always eat the lunches that you prepared for me with admiration. The taste, the scent—I savoured it all.
The matches that you attended to like a school attendance, as well as the way you fawn at us every time we bring home the bacon shows your being appreciative. I almost memorized where you are going to watch us—at the right corner of the court.
Everytime I muse over our date, which is just a trip to the racket stringer where I served as a substitute to your grandmother, the grin on my lips is almost unstoppable. When you suddenly stopped walking just to face me with your urged determination, I wondered. I wanted to ask you what you are doing, but your question about my favorite music bothered me. And when I asked why you are being talkative, which is very odd of you, you just cried and then ran away. We are always opposites—you being over-sensitive, and I being too nonchalant…and dense.
I also remember the time when I first heard your cheering voice while in your cheering attire. You are so…cute at that time. It's just a regret not to tell you that, thinking that I might lose my focus on the match. You being supportive, appreciative, and faithful on our team—it's so you.
Do you still remember the days where you greeted me with a smile and a blushing face whenever I win the competition? How about our graduation day? Maybe this is too out of place to insist, but, how about the day when I left for the US Open?
The tennis ball that you gave me is like… a stimulator. It is always in my pocket everytime I play on court, as if triggering my will to win. It is my lucky charm, because I think of it as you. Now, you are my lucky charm. And now, that's weird.
The denseness, the nonchalance, and everything about me—why do you admire me so much, even if I am like that? Usually, I just shrug off whatever bothers my mind, but why is it a different subject when it comes to you? Why do all of the calmness and the disinterest become useless when you're already there?
Maybe it's because you're just too kind to see it—only my positive points holds sight of your eyes.
I am just a kid at those times. I do not know what 'interest' to others means. I do not know what a 'crush' means. I do not feel 'love'—the love that others feel towards an opposite gender. But then, you, Ryuzaki Sakuno, told me what everything stated above is. The interest, the crush, and most especially, the love—everything about you is like a magnet to me. I feel very attracted to you, even if you're not a blonde or what, tall or not, a cat or a dog. I just… wanted the way I feel whenever you are around.
But now, where are you? In the darkness, of course.
The second to the last time that I saw you in the light is at our school graduation. Your molded face, your womanly features, your smiling lips—I admit how much I am succumbed to your face now. But what a foolish man am I! I did not even tell you how much… how much I like you so much. How much I love you more than you do.
I promised myself that I will tell you. And unexpectedly, that day came.
Unwanted and unfaithful—that's how I will continue on describing it.
The snow continued to fall aimlessly from the skies, showering us with either happiness or sadness. I ran at the streets with a new fold of emotion layering on my chest, and together with an unusual smile, I thought of celebrating my birthday with someone. Someone like you—a person who I know that will be glad together with me, someone who will not tease me about my vulnerability of this new passion. The invisible clouds covered the sky, and the snow continued to fall.
After a few phone calls and text messages that I gave to you, finally, you are there—leaning against a lit street lamp with the kind of smile that I loved to see. I can feel my lips tug into a smirk, and as unbelievable as it is, I sensed the rapid beating of my heart thrumming against my chest when I touched my hand onto it. I ran towards you with such enthusiasm.
Finally, after a few years of waiting, I have found somebody who accepted the whole me—my face, my attitude, and my privacy. You understood everything about me, and I thought that in 'that' faithful day, I'll be able to unleash myself—the true me, as well as the true and vivid feelings that I have for you.
When I reached your spot, you gave out another flash of your smile, your white teeth gleaming as your hands reached an object towards me. Your mouth murmured, "Happy birthday, Ryoma-kun."
My lips twisted to a smile as I responded a simple "Thank you."
Unbeknownst to me, everything about that day is the last time.
As we trudged the sidewalk, we are engaged in a long conversation that never happened before. You told me these words:
You know, Ryoma-kun, sometimes we do not see the truth that is hiding within a person, because his surroundings are too dark. That's why I loved the light so much.
Even if I do not fully understand your words about the light and the dark thing, I continued walking with you as we filled our day—my day—with a good start. And I can say that we painted the earlier part of our day's story well.
Except when you suddenly stopped speaking in your modest voice and everything around me became silent.
My eyes widened in anxiety as my forehead creased. Seeing you lying on the thick sheet of snow with your cheeks turning pale is too bewildering for me. When I looked back and knelt down before you, I held your cold hands, and the flow of our day's story became too fast-paced.
Because of my hurry, the last things that I remembered is that I brought you to the nearest hospital, and that I am sitting beside a window, my eyes peeking out if the snowy weather is already fine.
I gulped as my hand squeezed something velvety inside my pocket—the ring that I am about to give you as a sign of my feelings is never given. My free hand drummed impatiently at the windowsill, waiting for the doctor to come out of the room.
As I waited at the hallways of the hospital, I wished that the doctor will give me good news about your sickening condition.
However, the good news that I waited for never came.
The doctor let me inside the room, and I saw a bed covered with a white blanket. I nervously walked towards the said bed, and as soon as I am near to it, my shaking hands took off the blanket.
I saw you lying on the white bed—your cheeks are flattening and your limbs are skinny. I only noticed when you are already there.
But despite of it all, it is the very last time that I saw you enjoying the light.
Your face is painted with a smile.
The courage that I urged from the bottom of me dispersed within my body. For the first time, in a very long time, I cried for the only girl—woman—that I loved.
I remember how you gleefully told me that you loved the light so much. But now, you're inside the darkness.
You do not even know.
And you never even had the chance to know, since you are already inside that thing.
Now that I am standing on the foot of your grave, Ryuzaki Sakuno.
At this very day when I last saw your smile.
The 24th of December.
THE END
A/N: Hi there, guys! Hehehe! How're you? It's been 5 months since I last updated. This ficcage serves as a tribute for Ryoma and Sakuno. I'm sorry if the theme is sad, but I can't think of any happy plot bunnies, hehe. I passed this ficcage for IU's Fanfiction contest. So please, do not copy it, okay? ^_^
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!
Happy Birthday, Ryoma!
Ja'ne, minna!
rookie-chan