Sadly, this is how I always envisioned Salve ending. However, it was just too sad, and by the time I introduced Joanna, I couldn't do it. So this is stand alone, no need to even tie it to Salve. It was raining today, and the music of choice was Snow Patrol. If you've never listened to, 'Make This Go on Forever', I suggest you find it on youtube or imeem and put it on repeat while reading this. The song fits with this song. It always has in my head. This will be a oneshot. I couldn't possibly continue with it.
Disclaimer: Star Trek is Paramount's baby.
Make This Go on Forever
The news touched a part of his soul that was dormant for several years. When
he'd ended the communication link with his former Captain, one name lingered on his lips.
Nyota.
The day in Mississippi jumped to the forefront of his mind. Nyota Uhura had pledged her love to another; out of long held reflexes, his hands clenched into fists. Vowing to honor and obey, but most importantly, love.
Forever.
A declaration they once shared. His mind drifted to lazy days staring at the sun until his eyes would burn. She loved to feel the heat on her skin.
"It reminds me of home."
The nights their lips had danced against one another while standing in the rain.
"I love the way you taste."
The first time he brushed her temple and locking their minds, the love she felt for him surrounded him like a blanket covering a baby. He was safe and sure in that feeling. At the same time cloaking the feelings he had for her out of shame.
"Don't hide from me."
He closed his eyes and Spock allowed the memories to overtake him. The tears the broke free of the wall he'd built ten years ago.
Spock, son of Sarek and Amanda, was tired of denying his very human emotions. It was a state that remained in the days that followed; even as he made arrangements to leave the Vulcan colony and return to Earth. He'd heard humans refer to this thing called hindsight.
The what ifs?
Spock felt a tug as he headed out the door. His eyes looked down and met ones almost identical to his own. Grayson, named in honor of the mother he'd lost.
"I will return my son."
T'Lan stood off in the distance watching the interaction between her husband and son. At five, the young one possessed more Vulcan characteristics than his father had at the same age. He was not plagued by the battle with human emotions; after all he was only one quarter human. Yet, there were glimpses of humanity. The boy smiled, the corners of lips turned up slightly, when his father rested his hand lightly on his head.
Shuttle to ship…
Ship to shuttle…
Ship to Earth…
One thing could not be denied. Spock felt the sadness and emptiness growing inside of him. The closer he came to his destination; the grief that threatened to take him hostage was unbearable. It lingered like an old friend or ruthless enemy. The scents and sounds of San Francisco surrounded Spock when he stepped onto the platform from the shuttle. He was shaking but within moments his Vulcan cool soothed the anxiety Spock felt.
Slowly he made his way through the crowd. He had made no promise to James. They were not aware of his arrival. Dressed in the ceremonial robes of Vulcan, Spock held his head high and masked the despair with false dignity. He arranged transport from the station to the home just south of the Starfleet campus.
It was lovely, not too small or overly large; an old Victorian style with stained glass windows, a small porch with two chairs, and lots of plants. His eyes drifted to the portion of the backyard that was visible. He allowed the lines of his mouth to smile as he viewed the tire swing.
"Nyota."
He allowed her name to finally leave the confines of his heart. The Starfleet commissioned vehicles were finally leaving. He recognized Sulu and Chekov. Their hands entwined as a young boy followed closely behind grasping a blanket and bear, while loosely holding Sulu's free hand. They were flanked by Admiral Pike and Captain Kirk. Their moods were somber, given the reason for everyone's return to Earth. Frozen and unable to move, Spock locked eyes with Jim. Frightened that his friend would want to talk, they only exchanged nods and Jim continued with the group their vehicles.
After some time had passed and courage returned to his blood, Spock stepped from the curb. The door opened before his foot could touch the ground. A young woman left the house. Her hair was a shock of flowing curls. While her eyes were a piercing blue. It was Joanna. She held the same air of her father, Dr. McCoy. He felt his heart sink again at the thought. Swallowing his swelling emotions, he continued across the street. Unaware that the young woman was watching, Spock persisted on his path.
"Who are you?"
Her voice held hurt and indignation. Feelings he could understand. He stopped for a moment to regard her.
"I was once a friend of your father."
Spock was not prepared for the pain that registered in her face. Joanna dropped her head and heaved a deep breath.
"I am sorry for your loss."
The young woman shook her head and continued on the path that lead to the back of the house. His eyes remained on the spot where she stood long after she was gone.
Then he felt it, grief, sadness, loneliness, emptiness. When Spock's eyes met the door, there she stood.
Nyota.
Still beautiful.
Still strong.
Still breaking down the walls he'd struggled for years to build.
"Spock, how could he die?"
Words escaped him. Her pain had called out to him across the universe. After all this time, the link was still there. She was his bondmate. A fact he'd never doubted, but duty to his people superseded his wants and needs.
"My heart grieves with you Nyota?"
More tears poured from her eyes and even his vision was clouded. With little effort he closed the space between them. Nyota allowed Spock to take her in his arms. The tears continued to flow. The pain ripped at his soul. Yes, she had loved Leonard McCoy. More than words could ever express. It hurt to feel that love coursing through her veins. It took Vulcan control not to allow primal rage to overtake him looking at the two children standing in the doorway, longing for their father. He closed his eyes and calmed the urge that threatened to overtake him.
"I am here. I have always been here." The words were laced with as much love and comfort as Spock could possibly provide.
Nyota tightened her grip and continued to cry.
