A Promise Kept
Chapter 1 – An Unexpected Surprise
"I want to have a baby," you announce suddenly out of the blue, like an unpredictable gust of wind.
"K-ahem!" I nearly choke on my food. When I recover, I look up to see you staring intently at me. "A…a baby?" I manage to stammer, still in a state of initial shock.
Here we are one minute enjoying a quiet evening alone together under a lovely candlelight dinner when she suddenly drops a bomb on me. In the middle of a restaurant no less. That's my Michiru though. Heh. Always one step ahead of me. Ironically.
"Yes," you insist longingly. "One of my very own." You put down your fork, a sign that you are being serious.
"You have Hotaru," I remind you, trying to regain myself. I become a little desperate. "Isn't that enough? She's already a handful as it is." Now don't get me wrong, I love that little girl with all my heart. It's just that- you wanting a child of your own- you know that's not possible. How could I possibly make your dream come true? It must be the wine talking.
"I know," you start uneasily. "Hotaru means a lot to me, but it's not the same. I want the experience of being a real mother." You gaze at me with eyes full of desire to the point where they take on a glassy appearance. How can I reject such brimming eyes?
"But I-" I begin, not knowing how to continue. I flush a deep red and look down at my unfinished plate. I want to give you everything. Unfortunately there are some things in this world that are even out of my reach. It's not like I can just conjure up a baby out of thin air. Damn it! Then something soft and warm enclose around my hand that is resting shamefully on the table.
"Michiru-" I raise my head. Your grip tightens in a reassuring manner and your eyes turn passive once more.
"I was being selfish," you comfort me in your gentle and understanding way. "Forget about what I said. Finish your salad." You end our talk reassuringly as you squeeze my hand once more before lifting up your own fork. I know when you're disappointed, and this is definitely one of those disappointments. The more you strive to soothe me, the guiltier I feel inside. I continue to stare at you a while, trying to gather up my conflicting thoughts. What perfect timing too! With my free hand, I finger the little velvet casing in my pant pocket. Sigh. This will have to wait. Again. And for the remainder of the night- I try my best not to let it show, but I am tormented by our brief, yet troubling conversation. Even my usual smooth dancing is off. On one occasion I accidentally step on your foot, but you don't even chastise me. You are off in a world of your own. Don't leave me, Michiru.
There is so much that I want to tell you, but I just keep everything bottled up. You won't blame me, will you? If only you knew just how deep my love is for you, how constant like the wind. Your presence is like a breath of fresh air. Without you I cannot hope to live. For you, I could give up anything. Yes, even flirting. At this moment, nothing matters more to me than you…my Michiru.
As I stare into space, I unconsciously embrace you tighter. Suddenly you snap out of your reverie and kiss me delicately on the side of my cheek. "What are you thinking about?" you ask me with those beautiful wondering eyes as we continue to flow to the music. All I can do is look at you, dumbfounded. Instead I just slip into my usual charismatic smile and hold your head against my chest. One day you'll know. One day I'll bare my soul to you. I promise. No more secrets.
To be continued...