At The Zoo
Ichigo, Uryu, Rukia, Karin, Yuzu, Isshin, Ryugen, Byakuya, Renji, Urahara, Ms. Yoruichi, Orihime and Gin all went to the zoo one day. First they had to continue with rules and regulations. "Now," said Rukia, "We need to draw straws to see who is holding Urahara's hand, and who's holding Gin's." They drew straws with solemn faces. "Isshin and Ryugen with Urahara, and Byakuya and Renji, you're stuck with Gin." Groaning came from the group. Orihime ran up to Rukia and whispered something. They started giggling. "...And Ichigo and Uryu are only allowed 10cm away from each other at all times."
"What about toilet breaks?"Ichigo snarled, baring his teeth better than any animal in the whole damn zoo. "Well, you'll have to work round that one, won't you?" The two boys glared at each other.
"I'm not going."
"Neither am I." Ichigo suddenly smiled. "I think we will all agree that Rukia should be banned from seeing the bunny exhibit." Nods of agreement.
"WHAT? FUCK YOU ALL! I WANTED TO SEE CHAPPY!"
"Well, I'm afraid today's fuck appointments are booked. I'm free on Tuesday at 2, I believe." Urahara sang.
"Nope, I'm at that time." Gin smiled.
"And I'm occupied in the bed arena today. Sorry Rukia." Isshin laughed.
"Where are we going first? Karin and I are getting grossed out over here!" Yuzu asked.
"First, we need to get into small groups. Ichigo and Uryu, you're together. Yuzu, Karin and Yoruichi, you are a group. Isshin, Ryugen and Urahara, you lot, err, Byakuya, Renji and Gin, and finally Orihime and I. Off you go, and have fun!" The groups walked off. "Orihime, grab your video camera and we'll try to commence with plan Ichiishi. Urahara has got Isshin and Ryugen covered, and Gin's got Byakuya and Renji sorted. Let's go!" They ran after the two boys.
Isshin, Ryugen and Urahara stood outside the lion enclosure. Urahara got out his camera. "I'm filming, so no being boring!"
"I think the lion's called Simba." Isshin stated.
"Whaddya doing behind the glass, Ryugen?" The lionesses were looking at the camera.
"I'm going to the loos." Ryugen said.
"Same here. Urahara, for gods' sake, don't tell Rukia we left you alone!" They ran off. Urahara ran after them, taking a shortcut Rukia had planned. He got to the toilets about two minutes before the other two would, and planted tiny cameras in the cubicles. He ran out and watched the two men enter the empty toilets. He turned on the mini screen he had linked to the toilets.
"I need that fucking footage!" He saw Ryugen turn to Isshin.
"You want it?"
"Hell, yeah!"
"Then come the fuck and get it!" Isshin snogged Ryugen. "If our sons saw us now..."
"They're probably up to the same thing we are." Ryugen's shirt fell to the floor, followed by Isshin's belt. Urahara pinched himself. A lot of grunting was heard through the mini screen.
"So boss, do I get a pay rise for working overtime?" Ryugen smirked.
"And this isn't payment enough? Urahara would give his shop to watch us now."
"That won't be necessary, my dear friend." Kisuke smiled. They kissed one last time, and started getting dressed. Urahara ran back to the lion enclosure. "Hey, pretty kitty, how are you this fine evening?" Isshin and Ryugen appeared, looking very flustered and untidy. "Have fun?"
"We only went to the loos."
"Your breathing and appearance say otherwise. But I'll take your word for it." He smirked.
Gin, Byakuya and Renji walked around the monkey and African animal enclosures. "Guys, can we play truth or dare? Hey look, Zanpachi!" Gin pointed to an Orangeutan. Renji shook his head.
"Zanpachi is a baboon, not an Orangeutan. O.K, yeah, sure, I'll play."
"I have never heard of this game." Byakuya said.
"Captain, the person asking says 'truth or dare?'. If the player says truth, they have to honestly answer a yes/no question. Dare means you have to complete a task, usually a very embarrassing one."
"I shall play. It sounds good entertainment."
"Renji, truth or dare?" Gin smiled.
"Truth."
"Have you ever fancied a guy?" Renji nodded. "Byakuya, are you going to chose truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"Same question." Byakuya nodded. Renji's eyes widened in surprise.
"Why so surprised, Abarai?" Renji shook his head.
"You being a noble..."
"Who says I'm not allowed to fantasise?"Byakuya smirked. Gin still smiled. He couldn't do anything else.
"Renji, truth or..."
"Truth."
"Do you still like that guy?" Renji nodded again. "Byakuya, the same?" He nodded. "Same question then." He nodded yet again. "Y'know, you two can talk. Renji, truth again?"
"Nope. I choose dare."
"Byakuya, if you chose dare, you can do a joint one!"Gin smiled. Byakuya nodded. "At the same time, you both have to say who it is you like, after three, O.K?" They looked away, but nodded. "Ready, 1, 2, 3!"
"Captain Kuchiki."
"Renji." The boys looked at each other. Byakuya's mouth hung open slightly, and Renji's eyes widened. "But...I...what?"
"You're not saying... me? But why?" Renji asked.
"Why not you? I mean, you're loyal, a great fighter, and..." He jumped behind him and pulled his hair down. "...You have wonderful hair. Now your turn." He smirked.
"You can talk about flipping hair, great fighter and you're very... demanding." Byakuya grabbed his hand and started dragging him.
"Now I'm ordering you to come with me." Renji grinned.
"Yes, captain Kuchiki." Gin had had the camera out while this had happened, and followed them. He was lead round the back of the zoo, to where the non used transportation boxes were. He saw Renji drag Byakuya into one of them. Gin found a gap, a stuck the camera in it.
"This will be very interesting." He turned on his own mini screen. Byakuya grabbed Renji's head, and kissed him. There tongues fought for dominance, but Byakuya topped in the end. "I love you Renji Abarai.
"You too, Captain Kuchiki." Byakuya kissed his neck.
"Please, it's Byakuya to you." Their fingers laced through each others hair. Gin grinned manically. His soul pager went off. Rukia: How ya doin, boys? No luck here. xx
Kisuke: Isshin and Ryugen footage obtained. Gin? Mine were in the toilets. You? xxxxx
Gin: At the mo, they're making out in a transportation box. This is good stuff. Just up to the girls now. Xxx
Byakuya started making his way down Renji's chest. "Byakuya..."
"Shh, it'll be fine, don't worry so much!" Byakuya dived. Renji let out a moan. "Say my name Renji. Yell it. Moan it."
"Byakuya... Byaku...ya! Please harder! Faster Byaku...YA!" He swapped their positions. Renji started sucking on Byakuya's neck. "I can be more demanding then you ever dreamed, Byakuya." He started pushing up against Byakuya's bonar, with a huge grin on his face. "Renji... stop playing with me... take me Renji!" Renji smirked.
"What? I choose what happens for once." He started licking Byakuya's chest. "Such a pale chest. By the time I'm finished, I promise it'll be black and blue." Byakuya gasped, arching his back. "Please, I'm begging you..."
"You're begging me? Beg me a bit more, and I might consider it."
"I'm begging you, Renji, please...please... take me, Renji, I want to be yours." Renji moved his hands down his waste. "You already were. You were always mine, Byakuya. Forever and always." Renji completed Byakuya's wishes, making Byakuya shout his name in the process. Byakuya started shaking, and erupted in a flow of white. Renji lapped up the liquid. "We better go. We can carry on later, I promise." Byakuya nodded, putting on his scarf. They exited the box. Gin was back at the zebras. "Hello! What wild animal attacked your neck then, Byakuya?" He grinned. Byakuya smirked in reply. "A type of vicious red headed monkey."
Miley Cyrus' song 'Can't be tamed.' Suddenly started playing around the water area. Uryu smirked. "What are you smirking at?" Ichigo asked.
"I like this song. Random, but yeah." Ichigo listened to it attentively. It sounded very Uryu.
"Why?"
"Because it is very catchy." Uryu smiled, and then continued mouthing the words. Rukia and Orihime stealthily tailed them, camera in hand. "Can't you like something good, like Paramore?"
"I do like them. Ignorance and Decode are good."
"Acoustic or electric?"
"Acoustic, obviously." Uryu rolled his eyes. Ichigo nodded.
"I agree." Rukia and Orihime giggled. They ran to the music place.
"Can you please please please put Paramore decode acoustic version on after?" Orihime asked. "It's to get our friends together."
"Yeah, sure." Said the guy in the music room. The girls ran out. All of a sudden, it started playing. Ichigo and Uryu stared at each other.
0The truth is hiding in your eyes, and it's hanging on your tongue, just boiling in my blood, when you think that I can't see...
"Ishida, how did you do that?"
"I didn't do anything Ichigo!" Ichigo laughed.
"Major coincidence. Kinda scary." Uryu shook his head.
"Orihime and Rukia are following us with a camera. They, Gin and Urahara are trying to get us together." Ichigo stopped.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"I didn't want you to freak out on me!" Ichigo punched the seal glass. "I didn't tell you for a number of reasons. That was the main one." He turned to Uryu.
"What were the other reasons?"
"Umm, I know you hate me already, and I didn't want you to hate me anymore than you already did."
"Tell him, Uryu!" Rukia shouted. Ichigo grabbed her.
"Tell me what?" Orihime giggled. Uryu glared.
"If you dare..."
"He likes you, Ichigo! He really does. We partly did this for him, because he was too scared to tell you!" Ichigo turned to him. Tears welled up in Uryu's eyes.
"I know, I'm disgusting, aren't I Ichigo Kurosaki?" Uryu cried as he ran out towards the old church.
"Wait, Ishida!" Ichigo ran after him, the girls following. They stopped at the church and placed the camera on the window, surrounded in bushes. They hid underneath the ledge and turned on there mini screen. "Come on, Uryu!"
"What do you want? Come to tell me how stupid and wrong I am?" Ichigo shook his head.
"You've got it all wrong, Ishida. I just came to ask, why?" Uryu looked at him.
"Because you're always sacrificing yourself for everyone, trying to make everyone else happy. You yourself are never happy though." Ichigo placed his hand on his shoulder. "I choose to do that to myself. You shouldn't worry. I am happy whenever I help someone." Uryu smiled.
"Please, help me Ichigo." Uryu leaned in and kissed Ichigo. "By the way, it's Uryu, not Ishida." Rukia and Orihime sighed. Ichigo kissed him again. "Uryu, I can't keep..."
"Please. You can. No one can tell you otherwise apart from yourself." Ichigo kissed him again.
"Then I say yes." They carried on kissing. Ichigo's hands suddenly went to Uryu's waist.
"You've gotten very brave all of a sudden." Uryu purred. Ichigo started on his neck. Uryu closed his eyes, resting his head on Ichigo's shoulder and wrapping his arms around his neck. "Ichigo... what are you...ICHIGO!" Ichigo's hands had made their way to his belt, and were sliding around his legs. "Shh, Uryu, I thought you wanted this." Uryu bit into Ichigo's neck.
"Yes...god yessssssssssssss..." Ichigo started stroking his member. He started groaning and moaning. Urahara: How are you doing, girls?
Gin: Don't be surprised when you see Byakuya's huge love bites. They are actually fucking ginormous!
Rukia: They're making out in the old church. It didn't go quite to plan, but we got there in the end. We are to meet at the penguins. Tell Yoruichi.
Ichigo and Uryu were up against a wall, battling it out. Ichigo kissed him sweetly and softly. "We better go, but my room, 8 o'clock?" Uryu nodded. "Let's go." They met Rukia and the others at the penguins.
In the private hired out cinema?
"Now, Urahara, Gin and Orihime and I have been working on a project."
"Just naming and loading up now, boss." Urahara sang.
Everyone stared at the big screen. "Hey, Rukia speaking with my best friend Hime, Kisuke and Gin!"
"We decided to find out all of the yaoi pairings in the group!" Orihime laughed. "When we are at the zoo, we have professionally set everything up so that everyone goes together well! It's kinda hard to explain, but yeah."
"Well, I have been asked to admit that Gin and I go well together. Which we do." Urahara sang.
"But that's no where near as much embarrassment as we are going to put you lot through!" Gin smiled maliciously. "I am now going to ask that unless they want to see what their dad and brother get up to in their spare time that Karin, Yuzu, homosexuals and anyone of a nervous disposition leave the room."
"I'm not leaving. This has got to be funny!" Karin smirked. Yuzu nodded.
"They have given me enough mental scars anyway. This can't be any worse." Yuzu laughed.
"Now, the named and shamed will go in this order of appearance. Isshin and Ryugen, Byakuya and Renji, and finally Ichigo and Uryu."
"Like father like son!" Ms. Yoruichi added. A title came up on screen.
A day in the life of a yaoi doctor.
The video of Isshin and Ryugen (digitally re-mastered.)Appeared on screen. Yoruichi's hands went to the girls eyes, but they pulled them down. "This is fucking hilarious." Karin smirked. Ryugen and Isshin glared at Urahara. "If you don't like it, leave."
"Fuck you."
"How many times do I have to say I'm booked till Wednesday?"
"And we're not leaving till we've seen our sons." The next title came on.
I bruise easily
The game of truth or dare came on screen. It suddenly moved onto the transportation box. "Byakuya, I didn't know you were so well trained in the fine art!" Rukia smiled. Byakuya whispered to Renji. "If looks could kill..." Then came on Byakuya's explanation of the love-bites. "I was attacked by a red headed monkey." Ichigo pulled down Renji's hair. Uryu laughed. "If it's what Captain Kuchiki wants..." Uryu joined in.
"After all, he is rather, how to put it, demanding." He smirked gleefully.
"I wouldn't be so pleased with yourselves." Renji sniggered. "You're on next."
Adam and Steve
The scene with the song came on, with Rukia and Orihime talking to the music guy. Then came on the little drama in the seal tunnel, then the chase into the old church. "You two made out in a church?" Byakuya smirked.
"God bless their souls." Renji laughed. Isshin and Ryugen looked at their sons. Uryu had hidden in Ichigo's chest in embarrassment and Ichigo glared back, his arm protectively around Uryu. He suddenly stuck his finger up at them. Uryu tried to hide a giggle but failed miserably, as Ichigo joined in. "Don't worry, they are just as bad. At least we aren't denying it, the wankers."
"Hey!" Ms. Yoruichi shouted. "We have to see Uruhara and Gin kiss! I know they helped, but that was that and this is this!" Yuzu and Karin copied.
"That was that and this is this!" Choruses of 'Kiss, kiss, kiss..." filled the room. Urahara grabbed Gin's hand and they ran to the front. Urahara swooped Gin down onto his arm. "I love you, baby!"
"Kiss me already, Kisskiss!" Urahara bent down and snogged Gin. Cheers erupted.
"Thank you! Thank you! I hope you enjoyed the show!" Rukia winked.
Fin
Hey, I hope you enjoyed it! Me and my friend (Dragongirl1112) were at Colchester zoo, and we thought 'Hey, what if the bleach peeps came here!' So decided that we would write a story, and we are also planning to write two more called 'A car journey in Karakura town.' And 'The 9 and a half hour flight.' V. funny ideas. If you wish to see a sequel to any of our stories, contact us! Thanks!
MidiZ and Dgirl, the fanfastic fanfic duo!