Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. I do, however, own Derptalia along with LMMN.
Ugh, how much longer is this going to take? thought a rather bored albino boy as he sat in a large auditorium being forced to watch a rather boring middle school talent show. It was the fifth act and young Gilbert had been uninterested the moment some kid with bushy eyebrows came onstage and brought his boy band with him.
The stage was currently being occupied by the Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) singing some gay song about bringing the world together. Gilbert really couldn't care less because he had received a text message five minutes ago from his Spanish friend Antonio that the DVD version of Eclipse had just been released in their hometown. Naturally, Gilbert was dying to watch it and almost started squealing with glee upon reading the message.
Thx 4 da info, ill make sure 2 giv u dat bootleg copy of HP7 part 1 like I promisd :D the German eagerly texted back. All right, let's end this show, he thought, mustn't keep Jacob waiting.
"Yo Väinämöinen!" Gilbert yelled, catching the attention of everybody in the room "I bet you couldn't play that guitar even if it was a dude's dick!" The entire room immediately went silent, the Gay Straight Alliance members' looks went from shocked, to worried, to fearful. Yeah I showed them, now to walk out of here all awesome-like like the badass I am-wait a sec, what's he doing?
The guitarist and lead singer, Tino Väinämöinen, calmly walked off stage and made his way towards Gilbert. Now Tino is not a very threatening person, not at all. In fact, many people have even gone so far as to say that Tino was the epitome of all that is good and happy in this world. But right now Tino was a force to be reckoned with.
The small Finnish boy grabbed Gilbert by his shirt collar and pulled him down to Tino's level, extinguishing their height difference.
"You shut your mouth you dirty albino lab rat before I shut it for you." Said the surprisingly out of character Tino.
"Oh yeah, how?" sneered Gilbert. He knew it was a lame comeback the moment it came out of his mouth, but seriously, how the hell are you suppose to respond when someone compares you to something you kill in your spare time?
"Oh it's easy." a cheerful smile graced the Finn's lips, causing Gilbert to believe that Tino was probably joking and would let go of his shirt because it was seriously choking him right now!
"All I would have to do is rip out your larynx and strangle you with it while I fuck you in the ass with the neck of my guitar." The smile never left Tino's face during this pretty much one sided conversation.
Just to add insult to injury, he gingerly took off Gilbert's black-framed glasses, snapped it into two with his hands, dropped the pieces on the ground, and mercilessly crushed them into oblivion with his feet.
The young president of the GSA felt satisfied and began to make his way towards the stage to rejoin his band/club members. Even though he would never admit it, Tino's taste in music had would eventually take a relatively dramatic change because of the stupid lab rat's words. But that would be a story for later on.
The German albino certainly was not shaking in his place nor did he piss in his Team Jacob underwear because of the freakin' scary gay kid. No he did not.
AN: Please do not take the idea of Derptalia. It was originally created by me and LMMN. Might eventually become a two or three-shot.