The Chronicles of a Mr. Kisame Hoshigaki
Today Itachi and Kakuzu took off. To make a point I didn't know akatsuki had vacation days. If I did know I would've taken off when Konan was having her period (she turns evil and not akatsuki evil nooooo!) and today, of course but I didn't know, so I'm stuck with Hidan. In case you didn't know, he's insane. Today we have a mission. Pain, even crazier than Hidan, calls it team building. Someday I'll shove samehada down his throat. Until then, I'm on a stupid mission with Hidan. So, here I am, carrying a dead body, when Hidan says to me, "You wanna go yaoi?" So at that, I bring his face close to mine, and choke him, but he's immortal, so I cut his head off. He starts cursing, so I cut off his nose. More cursing so I hold his nose less head up to mine and say, "You'd look better bald" and off came his hair. I leave his body next to his head and walk back to base. On the way I think about how Itachi has it waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay worse, he's stuck with Mr. Tentacle Rape . The akatsuki have partners they spend vacation with, but I didn't take off, but Kakuzu did. Of course, I didn't know about this, so I'm ticked. Itachi and I are friends and partners, but not yaoi partners! Stop looking at it that way! Konan's my girlfriend and Itachi's got Shizune! I get back to base when Pain asks "Where's Hidan?" I shove samehada down his throat, killing him. I walk to Konan's room and lay down on her bed. When I wake up Konan's spooning with me. I say "Konan are you awake?", "Yeah.", "Will you marry me.", "Yeah." At that, we touched each others rings. Mine became marked with an angel, where as hers became marked with a shark. To make a point, akatsuki don't do weddings because we're badass and all. Then after making love I went back to my room and slept for three days. Itachi came back on the second day but left me alone, because as he knows you let sleeping sharks lie. I'm going to take a vacation with Konan tomorrow. You know, when Pain comes back from the dead. I'm Kisame Hoshigaki and these are my chronicles.