(Okay I fucking love Craig so yeah. I was originally going to do a one-shot but this is actually going to be a multi-chapter. It'll be hard but I'm going to try and make an actual story ;) but be warned this is my third fanfic but so far I actually really like it. Reviews would be nice if you wanna take the time for it. And yeah I don't own South Park obviously… PLEASE ENJOY! :D)
My name is Craig Tucker. I'm currently trying to logically explain to myself why the fuck I'm hanging out with Cartman's gang again. I shudder everytime I think of last time. Ugh, I definitely do NOT want to think about that. But at least I learned a lesson. When four complete dicks come to your house and ask for money to make a Pan flute band, never fucking ever comply, even when the fat dick says I'll make a shit ton of money out of it. Okay let's just get off that subject.
At the moment I'm wedged, quite tightly may I add, between Cartman and McCormick. Well, actually, it's more like the fat dick is shoving me and McCormick into the wall. Oh did I forget to mention I'm on a super secret FBI plane? Yeah the fat dick definitely tricked us all into something. I vaguely remember hearing something about a bomb, but whatever, I regretted this the moment the dicks showed up at my house.
"Hey fatass! Did you just fart?" I heard Kyle yell from the other side of the plane, it's a small plane mind you so the 'other side of the plane' is really just two feet.
"Aye! Shut up, you stupid jew!" That was when I noticed Cartman lean over and fart loudly in my direction. I put a hand to my nose as not to smell the stink.
"You see this is why no one hangs out with you guys." I said, my incredibly embarrassing nasaly voice muffled by my hand.
"Mmf mfmmmph mffmfmf." Which translated directly to "Don't be a dick, Craig."
"Yes because I'm the dick here." I turned to Kenny, which was when I realized just how close I was to the guy. At that moment I felt my face heat up, which Cartman immediately noticed.
"Hyehyehye what a couple of fags!" He broke into laughter at my blush. Now here's something you should probably know about me. I have no idea of my sexuality, and even though I always seem indifferent to everything, believe it or not, I'm really a turmoil of emotions inside. I'd say I'm just as confused about everything as any 17 year old dude should be, but then I'd be lying. I'm starting to really think I'm gay and this conclusion is pissing me off to the point I now have Cartman pinned to the wall, yes I'm still in an airplane but we're still sitting down. If no one stops me I'm pretty sure I'm gonna hit this fat son of a bitch. But, knowing how much these guys hate him too I think he's going to get a face full of Tucker-fist.
So I punched him.