Never Assume

~part 1~

I want something else to get me through this semi-charmed kinda life, baby, baby, I want something else, not listening when you say good-bye…do do do, do do do do, do do do, do do do do, dumdumdum, dumdumdum…we were listening to the radio in homeroom this morning and that song was on so it's been in my head all day long…so I'm now inflicting it on you and I hope it's stuck in your head now, too. Okay, so new fic, yay. Abby, this is the one you asked me to write…well, it's kind of what you asked me to write…not exactly, but you'll see what I mean. But newayz, this starts in the 5th season before anyone knows about CnM…yep, again, lol. I still don't own the characters, though I do have a Chandler clone who I keep in my basement closet-along with the only two cute sophomore guys at my school, lol (yep, Annie, I stole them from you! mwahahaha!!!).

Chandler grinned, the sunlight coming through the blinds creating just enough light so that he could clearly see Monica's face. Perfect. If he ever had to describe that word, it would be this. This feeling, this moment. The look on Monica's face, asleep in his arms. Perfect.

Running his fingertips down her arm, he leaned down and kissed her on the lips. "I gotta get going, babe," he whispered, his lips barely leaving hers.

"Mmm, why," Monica moaned, not fully awake yet.

"Because Rachel'll be up soon and then I won't be able to get out of here."

"So don't leave. Stay forever," Monica rolled over onto her side, brushing her hair out of her face so that she could look at Chandler.

Stay forever. As much as that thought scared Chandler to death, he had every intention of doing just that.

"But I have to go to work, Mon," he started to get up.

"So call in sick and we can just spend the whole day in here," Monica grinned.

"I'd love to but I have a meeting I really have to go to this morning," he paused, hating to see the disappointed look on her face. "How 'bout lunch?"

"I have to work the lunch shift."

"Oh."

"So, how 'bout we have a late lunch here and then have the rest of the afternoon to ourselves," she grinned.

"That sounds…just about perfect," Chandler kissed her in return.

"Okay, so, see you here at 2?"

"Yep, it's a date," Chandler kissed her again, this time making it last longer than before. "But I really do have to get out of here," he looked at the clock, hurrying to get dressed. "Bye," he smiled, touching her cheek and giving her another quick kiss before turning to leave.

"Bye," Monica smiled in return.

~*~

Chandler looked at his watch, frowning when he realized it was after 2:30. Monica was late. Monica was never late. He glanced at the phone, debating whether or not to call the restaurant and see if she was still there. He finally gave in, reaching for the phone.

"Hello, Allesandro's."

"Is Monica there?"

"No, she's not."

Chandler bit his bottom lip. "Oh, well do you know when she left?"

"Yeah, about an hour ago."

"Okay, um, thanks," Chandler said before hanging up the phone. In the worst traffic, it wouldn't take Monica an hour to get home.

He started to pace, biting his thumbnail out of nervous habit. Where was she? Food. Maybe she just stopped to get them something for lunch. That had to be it. She stopped to get food.

An hour ago.

It still wouldn't take her over an hour to get food and get home. Chandler sighed. 2:45. If it was anyone else, it would have been no big deal. But Monica was never late. She'd call.

But she hadn't. And she'd left over an hour ago. What if something terrible had happened to her? What if she'd gotten in a car accident or was attacked or something…

'Breathe, Chandler,' Chandler had to remind himself. Everything was probably just fine. He was overreacting.

But what if something had happened?

Shaking his head, he forced himself to sit down on the couch, turning on the TV to try and keep himself from worrying.

She was just running late.

~*~

"Ergh!" Rachel threw her purse down on the kitchen table, but stopped when she saw that Chandler was sitting at the table. "Chandler? Honey, what's wrong?"

"Monica was supposed to meet me for lunch and she never showed up," he said quietly

"Did you call the restaurant? She might've just got caught up at work and forgot."

"It's 4:30, Rach, she got caught up for three hours? And I did call…She left three hours ago," he looked down.

"I'm sure she's fine."

"But it's Monica," he looked back up at her, "if she was gonna be two minutes late she would have called."

"Um, would she have left you a message at work?" Rachel suggested, starting to get worried.

"I checked. She didn't," he sighed. "Where could she be?"

"I'm sure she's fine," Rachel squeezed his shoulder as she walked by. Chandler just nodded, needing to believe that.

She was all right. She had to be.

~*~

Unfortunate incident. Innocent bystander. Wrong place at the wrong time. She witnessed a mob-hit, and rather than leave a witness, they "took care" of her, too. And the cops who came to the door didn't phrase it much nicer than that. Just the facts. And their condolences, of course. Their condolences, as if that actually helped Ross, Rachel, or Chandler, who had all been their when the police arrived to inform them of what had happened. Or like it helped Joey or Phoebe, who had come over minutes later.

Condolences.

Like that word held any meaning.

~*~

"Where'd Chandler go?" Joey said quietly, realizing that there were now only four people in the room.

"Did he go home?" Rachel asked, and the others just shrugged. The whole thing seemed surreal, and after crying, none of them were really sure what to do. What could they do? So they were still sitting in the living room at two in the morning, not sure of what was supposed to come next.

"I'll go see," Joey offered, needing to get out of that apartment, if only for a few minutes. Too many memories.

"I'll go with you," Ross offered, having the same thought that Joey had had, and since Joey didn't object, followed him out the door.

Phoebe stood up, and without saying a word, went out onto the balcony. Just one more important person in her life gone. She couldn't remember what horrible things she must've done in her past lives to deserve this, but it really must have been something.

Rachel looked around the now empty apartment, sighing and trying not to let herself start crying again, having a feeling that if she did she wouldn't stop. Wrapping her arms around herself, she opened Monica's door, going into her room. "Chandler?" she said in surprise, not expecting to find him in there. He was lying face down on the bed, his face buried in a pillow. Rachel sat down next to him, touching his back.

Chandler didn't respond at first, but she could tell he was crying. "I love her," he finally said, his voice muffled by the pillow and his crying.

"I know, we all do," Rachel whispered, wiping her own tears from her eyes.

"No, I'm in love with her," Chandler sat up, drying his face on his sleeve, "or was in love with her…but I still love her, so…"

"Chandler-"

"She didn't want to go to work this morning…she just wanted to spend the day here…"

Rachel looked at him, completely confused and beginning to think that he was delusional. "I'm sorry, but, what?"

Chandler sighed, staring at his hands. He'd never imagined that this would be the event that forced the others to find out about them. "London," he finally said. "We've been together since London," he looked up at Rachel. "I woke up here this morning with her in my arms, happier than I can ever remember being in my entire life…and now it's all gone," he swallowed, unsuccessfully trying not to cry. "And it's my fault."

"Chandler, there is no way that you could've stopped any of this," Rachel immediately said, all of what he'd said shocking her.

"But she wanted to stay home today, she didn't want to go to work. If I hadn't convinced her to…If I'd just stayed here with her…" he trailed off, turning away from her.

Rachel hugged him, letting him cry silently as she cried, grieving also.

"I-I never told her that I loved her…I was too damn scared and now I'll never get to tell her…she'll never know…"

"Listen to me, Chandler," Rachel pulled back. "If you loved her, I'm sure she knew. Even if you had the rest of us fooled," she added, and he smiled slightly, refusing to let himself laugh. "And you can not blame yourself for this."

"But if-"

"No but if's," she interrupted him, moving to hug him again.

"I just…I don't want to live," he whispered, "Not without her…"

"I know, hun."

"Um, could you-could you leave me alone for awhile? I just- I need to be alone for awhile," he pulled back.

"Sure."

"And could you, um, tell them about…us? I just…can't."

"Yeah," Rachel said quietly, not really sure if she should leave him alone or not. She wanted to tell him that everything was going to be okay. But she didn't know that, and she knew that if she couldn't convince herself, there was no way in hell that she could convince Chandler. But she wanted to tell him that it was going to be all right just to make the look in his eyes go away. Just to make him stop crying. There was something about Chandler crying that just didn't seem right.

As soon as Rachel walked out of the room, Chandler lay back down, burying his face in Monica's pillow, one thought running through his head.

He didn't want to live.

~*~ Two years later ~*~

Chandler walked out into the bitter-coldness of the Chicago winter, digging his hands into his pockets and hugging his coat to his body. He reluctantly took his hand out of his pocket, glancing at his watch for only a moment before sticking his hand back into his pocket.

He looked back up, trying to decide if he had enough time to go get something to eat or not, when something caught his eye. Or more like, someone caught his eye. He shook his head; his eyes must be playing tricks on him. Little sleep and he hadn't eaten all day; he was just imagining things.

Be he could've sworn the woman who'd just walked by was Monica. But it couldn't be, he reminded himself, and, in spite of himself, glanced back anyway, just as she looked back at him.

They both immediately stopped walking, turning to face each other, slowly, as if it were all a dream.

"Chandler…"

to

be

continued…

Please review and tell me if this one's worth continuing…or if you think you have any idea what's going on…but like the title says, never assume, mwahahaha…sorry, the evil laugh thing just seemed to fit there :)