A/N: Hello Fanfiction dawt net lurker/user. I am writing this on the behalf of the one year anniversery of Ponyboy's Nightmares. YA RLY. And to celebrate, here's a horribly written Mary-Sue parody. Enjoyplzthxlol.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the perfect female character in this story. Except I can't really own her. She's perfect, and I'm not, therefore I can be owned by her. Oh my. Anyways, rest of this belong to S.E Hinton.

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This story has the most cliche beginning ever. EVER! I swear, I'm not kidding. Wait, I'm the narrator. How can I be kidding to my faithful readers? But anyways...

Ponyboy was sitting in the dining table with Sodapop, who appears to be scarffing down jelly-coated eggs. In the living room sat three men, Steve, Johnny, and Two-Bit watching Mickey Mouse in curtesy of Two-wait a minute, the only Mickey Mouse related in the book was that horse! It was Sodapop's horse. That poor horsey doesn't get attention. Poor, poor Mickey.

Man, I'm such a terrible narrator. I have just gone from breakfast to a horse in one mesely paragraph. What the fuck?

"She's waking up!" Darry ran out the hallway yelling.

Who's waking up, Ponyboy thought in a confused manner. Poor thing doesn't have any idea what's coming.

Steve, Johnny, and Two-Bit got up from their seats and stood next to the kitchen doorway, helping Darry and Sodapop form a line of three in both side of the doorway. Well, actually one line had three guys of Two-Bit, Darry, and Johnny where as the other line had Steve and Sodapop.

"Ponyboy," Sodapop called, whispering. He made the hand signal of telling Ponyboy to go where Soda was. Obviously, Ponyboy had to stand next to Sodapop to help form the perfect parallel lines. He heard footsteps getting louder. From the doorway, he saw a brunette girl whose hair was held in two ponytails and is wearing a pair of pink pajamas. Even with a tired, sleepy look, she looked so incredibly beautiful, as if she were an angel. She was more good-looking than Sodapop. That says something...

"Good morning Lorainne!" Five out of the six guys say in unison. Ponyboy just stood clueless beyond recognition.

"Who's Lorraine?" he asked. He never seen this girl in his life and his brothers were kissing the floor she's standing on.

His question left the rest of the gang gasp like if they just saw the climax of a horror movie when they turned to Ponyboy.

"Little brother," Sodapop said his setence in fear, "How can you question our perfect sister, Lorraine Vanessa Stacy Curtis? Did you hit your head in your sleep, little brother?"

Soda is just being his usual super dramatic fanfiction self. No big deal, really.

That's the longest freaking name I've ever heard, Ponyboy thought.

"Aw, it's okay! I wanna have my breakfast," Lorraine said.

"Here you go," Darry said as he pulled back an expensive royal-like golden chair with a red seat comforter and eye-blinding rhinestones, "I have it all served for you,"

Where did a chair came from? I don't know! Didn't I just say I'm a horrible narrator last year? Or did you forget?

Ponyboy stared wide-eyed. He, himself, wondered how his brother consumed an incredible antique like that, or where did it come from. He didn't see it there a second ago.

Lorraine curtsied before sitting on her chair. Suddenly they heard the front door slamming open and running footsteps getting louder.

Dally appeared brightly in the kitchen, "LORRAINE! I LOVE YOU!" he screamed as he kneeled next to her chair.

Dally's behavior had Ponyboy very scared.

"I know that Dally," Lorraine said, "you tell me that every morning," she smiled brightly and got off her 'royal' chair, "I'm going to go change," she curtsied once again and all the guys in the room, except Ponyboy, swooned and nearly fell all over the floor.

He looked at the obsessed beings in the kitchen strangly. "Did I MISS something here?" he practically yelled.

"What are you talking about, little brother?" There goes emotional Sodapop again.

"The big freaking expensive chair, Dally screaming he loves the girl-"

Dally's voice interrupted Ponyboy's ramble, "Man how I love that woman," he swooned, "She made me see the error of my ways. That's why I love her."

Ponyboy became more wide-eyed, as if he had thought it couldn't get any wider. A girl helping Dallas Winston finding the error of his ways? Now that is definetely saying something!

Pony continued on his rambling, "That's the kind of thing I'm talking about!"

"Oh little brother, Darry and I really should take you to the hospital,"

Ah yes, the hospital. Ponyboy's second home on fanfiction.

There's nothing wrong with me, there's nothing wrong with me. Ponyboy repeated that in his head continuously, I just have a stranger for a sister that everyone worships her.

Suddenly Lorraine came back, posing in her new outfit. She wore an outfit Ponyboy has never seen before. She had on a pink spagehetti-straped shirt with darker pink rhinestones forming a heart in her upper chest. For the bottom, she had denim leggings on, showing off her 'very hot legs' with shining material sandals on. "Do I look pretty?"

"Yes, you do!" and the six gang members ran after her helplessly.

"What the hell did I miss?" Ponyboy yelled the question louder.

"Darry, we must take out little brother to the hospital," Sodapop said dramatically.

"Yes we do little brother," Darry said, "yes we do,"

Ponyboy wasn't sure what was the object of this. His brothers was bothering him with the overusage of 'little brother', he has a sister that everyone annoyingly loves especially Dally, and the fact that there was a golden expensive royal seat lying in the kitchen still amazes him. All this wasn't making any sense.

I'm crazy, he thought, "I really am going crazy," he whispered the last part.

"What did you say, little brother?"

Ponyboy screamed in horror as he screamed and ran to his room.

-

Pony's body jolted upright from his originally lying position.

"Whoo, what a freaky dream that was," he said to himself.

"What happened in the dream?" a familiar female voice said.

"No...," Ponyboy whispered and, oh so slowly, turned his head and saw Lorraine sitting on the edge of the bed. He screamed even louder.

-

Ponyboy opened his eyes gasping in fear. He looked around as he touch every place of his body. He carefully got off the bed and looked around, making sure it wasn't a dream. Ponyboy slowly exited the room and out of the hallway. He turned to his left and saw Dally throwing a remote to the television while smoking.

"Fuck! Today is so fucking boring!"

"Dally! You cursed, you're smoking, and you're not obsessed over Lorraine!" Ponyboy said in excitement as he ran to hug Dally, "I'm not a loon after all!"

"Uhh, Pone, are you okay?" Dally asked.

"Never better!" Ponyboy said as he hugged Dally tighter.

Man, Dally thought, Darry should take Pony to the hospital or something. Something's definitely wrong with this kid.

END.