Inspired from episode 159 where Ryohei screamed the EXTREME times, and decided to make a one shot chapter where Ryohei published a newspaper of his own. And I failed so hard.
The EXTREME Times
Tsuna was reading the newspapers when the door was barged open. His sun guardian, who was at the door, is apparently holding some newspapers.
"Hey Sawada! Guess what?" Ryohei exclaimed as he walked over to Tsuna.
"What is it?" Tsuna asked.
"I recently published the Extreme Times! Here's the first copy, Sawada." Ryohei happily told him, passing him one of newspapers he is holding.
"Oh…thanks." Tsuna took it and read the frontlines.
'EXTREME SPORTS.' It read.
"Umm…I don't read sports. Why not pass this to Yamamoto?" Tsuna said, and Ryohei scratched his head and took it from Tsuna.
"Oh no! Here's the original one!" Ryohei passed Tsuna another newspaper.
Tsuna took it, while having the newspapers he was reading earlier on his lap.
"Oops, I got to give it to Kyoko and everyone too!" Ryohei said as he ran out, and closed the door.
Tsuna wondered what the newspaper is. He then lifted it to his eye level and widened his eyes in disbelief.
'Today, an EXTREMELY hard trial is being conducted on this EXTREMELY hot day! Musaki Fujiato is EXTREMELY accused of EXTREMELY killing Fusaki Ohjo at the EXTREMELY isolated home in Extreme Canada! At the EXTREMELY beautiful day of March 3rd, Musaki bought a hammer and a knife from an EXTREMELY HARDCORE garage.' A part of the frontlines said.
'What's with this horrible grammar and the Extremes all over the paragraph??' Tsuna thought as he read the other paragraphs. 'Don't tell me…' Tsuna immediately turned to the other pages and found the word 'Extreme' repeated more than five times in a sentence. Then Tsuna read an article with Ryohei's picture.
'I EXTREMELY thank all my EXTREME friends, EXTREMELY grateful to my EXTREME friends, glad for this EXTREME job my EXTREME friend Sawada gave to the EXTREME me. And I EXTREMELY hope that you all will EXTREMELY enjoy this EXTREME newspaper and EXTREMELY subscribe to it. Everyone must EXTREMELY subscribe or I'll EXTREMELY do something EXTREME to the EXTREMELY you.' The article said.
'Is this even an article?' Tsuna thought as he sweat dropped. He took the neighbourhood times from his lap and compared the articles. 'As I thought…His newspaper is just a copy of someone's with just Extremes pasted all over it!' Tsuna thought when Ryohei came in, with no more newspapers in his hands.
"So…what do you think of my newspaper?"
"Umm…." Tsuna can't tell Ryohei about his conclusions about the newspaper.
"It's…fine." Tsuna said. "Extremely. Fine." Tsuna told him, making him elated.
'I'm never using the word 'Extreme' again.' Tsuna thought.
"That's great! Will you subscribe?" Ryohei asked Tsuna with pleading eyes.
"I'll consider. Can you please leave now?" Tsuna ordered. "I need to read the newspapers in peace." Tsuna explained to him which Ryohei obeyed and slammed the door in happiness.
'…I wonder if this thing will go back down in less than 24 hours?' Tsuna thought, having remembered the time where Ryohei ran an arcade named, 'EXTREME Arcade' and it went back down in less than 24 hours. Gokudera suddenly barged into the room.
"Juudaime!" He screamed.
"Gokudera…This period is only my free time reading newspapers! What is it?" Tsuna asked, a little bit irritated.
"That turf head is running a newspaper!"
Tsuna sweat dropped. 'He came here just to tell me that?' He thought as Gokudera panted.
"And…turn to page 16."
Tsuna turned to page 16 and saw a picture of Kyoko and him.
'Hello to EXTREME readers! It is the EXTREME time for the EXTREME Pairings! This EXTREME woman is my EXTREME little sister. The EXTREME man beside her is the EXTREME Sawada. EXTREME Sawada was a EXTREMELY kind and EXTREMELY strong macho and EXTREMELY helped me get a EXTREME job. He EXTREMELY fits the EXTREME role of an EXTREME boss.
If he ever EXTREMELY bullies my EXTREME little sister, I'll EXTREMELY punch him to the EXTREME! He once EXTREMELY went into EXTREME underwear and loves to protect his EXTREME friends. Still, he is a EXTREMELY mean person if you EXTREMELY get him EXTREMELY angry so if you EXTREMELY see him in the streets, EXTREMELY RUN AWAY!'
"That bastard! How dare he gossip about the Juudaime like that!?" Gokudera shouted, raising his fist into the air.
"Gokudera." Gokudera turned to his boss.
"Get him here RIGHT now." Tsuna ordered him fiercely, and Gokudera went to search for Ryohei.
He gripped on the handle of his comfortable sedan chair. Tsuna is not going to be happy about this. After Gokudera chased Ryohei around, he finally got him to go to Tsuna's office. Ryohei gulped as he was at the door.
"Come on, open it dammit!" Gokudera shouted and Ryohei opens the door to see Tsuna still at the same position, reading newspapers.
Gokudera followed Ryohei in, who was walking very slowly to Tsuna. He faced the man, whose face covered by newspapers, unsure of what is going to happen. Gokudera moved over to Tsuna and told him Ryohei is here.
"Ryohei." Tsuna said, and Ryohei stood his ground in fear.
Tsuna folded the newspaper and showed him the article that had the picture of him with Kyoko.
"Can you explain why Kyoko and I are in your newspaper?"
"Well…I wanted to make a lovey-dovey section for readers who liked pairings…"
"Is this how you make a pairing game with just two people?"
"Well…I forgot to include Haru and the thing was cut off."
"No, that's not what I meant. What is this all about?" Tsuna pointed to the part where Ryohei described Tsuna as a mean person.
"Umm…I can explain to the extreme…"
"You run a newspaper and first of all, you have to talk about your friends? Do you know what is an newspaper? It doesn't have lovey-dovey sections you know." Tsuna emphasized, stepping forward and with Ryohei stepping back.
"Well…I want to make a new trend for newspapers."
"Is this how you make a new trend!? Gossiping behind your friends' back!?" Tsuna shouted and pushed the newspaper in Ryohei's face.
"I'm extremely sorry but I didn't have enough content!" Ryohei said and this angered Tsuna even more.
"More importantly, why did you report about your sister and yourself? Don't you think you're going overboard?"
"I don't really think so."
"Oh really? What should I do to make you think so?" Tsuna said, smiling at the man who is scared to the extreme.
A scream could be heard throughout the Vongola mansion. Yamamoto, who was playing baseball with some of their comrades, suddenly turned to face the mansion.
"Tsuna must be having fun indoors." Yamamoto said cheerfully.
"Oi, Yamamoto!"
"Okay!" Yamamoto picked up his bat and smashed the 'Extreme' newspaper by accident, as it flew from Hibari's window.
In the end, no one bought the newspapers and it went back down in 24 hours. Ryohei ended up with bruises and scratches. Kyoko was told that Ryohei accidentally fell from delivering his newspapers and so never knew the real reason why he got injured.
End of Story
Hehe…I failed in making something so good.