Author Notes: Written for reversathon for Theodosia Prickle. Thank you to annephoneix for the beta.
The Holiday
"I refuse," Snape said. He leaned back, crossed his arms across his chest and fixed Dumbledore with a glare.
The infuriating twinkle was still in Dumbledore's eyes. "I'm afraid it's a requirement of all staff at Hogwarts this year," he said. "It will be very beneficial and relaxing for all of you."
"I don't need to relax," Snape snapped.
"Nonsense," Dumbledore said cheerfully. "You're obviously overstressed and need a rest."
"Then give me four weeks alone with my potions. I don't need a," his lip curled, "holiday."
"Then don't think of it as a holiday," Dumbledore suggested. "Think of it as a learning experience. You will be staying with two other staff members in a small cottage in Muggle Scotland. Take the chance to learn about Muggles."
Snape stared. He could have sworn there was a sly smile on Dumbledore's face. It was on days like this that he really wondered whether the headmaster might be a former Slytherin or not. Some of the schemes he'd come up with in his time were distinctly not-Gryffindor.
"Muggles?" Snape managed to get out.
"Why yes," Dumbledore said. "Didn't I tell you? This was originally suggested by our newest Muggle Studies teacher. All the staff will be divided up into teams and you will compete with each other for personalised prizes. She thought that it would be a good bonding exercise."
"I don't need to bond with any of the incompetents currently on the staff," Snape said. Then a thought occurred to him. "Albus, who is the Muggle Studies teacher this year?"
Dumbledore smiled brightly at him. "Why, none other than our prodigious Miss Granger, of course."
"Of course," Snape said flatly. Who else could have come up with such a monstrous idea?
A week later, Snape sat in the small living room of the cottage and cursed Hermione Granger and Albus Dumbledore under his breath. A holiday, indeed, he thought sourly. He didn't even know with whom he would be sharing this tiny Muggle cottage for the next month. He just hoped it wasn't…
"Lupin," he said flatly as he saw the other man emerge from the fireplace. "And Weasley."
Weasley gave a cordial nod but Lupin looked uncomfortable.
"Call me Charlie," Weasley said.
Snape snorted. "As you wish," he said irritably. "You may call me Severus, but if I hear you call me by any sort of nickname," he shot Lupin a glare, "then you will live to regret it."
Charlie let out a rather nervous laugh that amused Snape. He would have thought that a former Dragon Handler – not to mention a former Gryffindor – would be slightly braver.
"So," Lupin said. "Dumbledore said something about a list of rules?"
Snape pointed to the piece of Muggle-style paper that was sitting on the coffee table in front of him. "That would be the list."
Charlie picked it up. "A competition?" he said, blinking rapidly.
"Oh yes," Snape informed him dryly. "Apparently Albus has seen fit to make a game out of this." He twisted his expression into one of distaste. "We are being judged on our ability to live like Muggles. Apparently he believes that this will help staff co-operation."
Lupin paled. "But, what about potions?"
Snape couldn't help rolling his eyes. "We have an adequate supply of Wolfsbane," he snapped. "I made it beforehand."
"Thank you, Severus."
"I have no desire to be mauled to death by a werewolf," Snape said with a sneer. "In case you've forgotten, that's already come perilously close to occurring and I have no wish to repeat the experience."
Lupin recoiled, but Charlie simply looked mildly curious. "What happened?" he asked. He walked over and sat down next to Snape on the couch.
Snape shifted. "Why don't you ask your pet werewolf here," he said with a wave of his hand. "Surely he'll be glad to tell you how he almost murdered me when we were in Hogwarts. All because of a practical joke. It's almost … touching to see how concerned he is about Wolfsbane now." He turned to Remus and was glad to see a flicker of anger in the brown eyes. "Finding the wolf instincts hard to control, are we, Remus?"
Snape was amused at the expression on Charlie's face. He looked rather like somebody watching a duel to the death.
"I wish you'd stop baiting me, Severus," Lupin said quietly. "That happened over twenty years ago and wasn't my fault."
Snape simply narrowed his eyes.
There was an awkward silence.
"We still have our wands though," Charlie said suddenly. "What's to stop us from using them?"
"I wouldn't be surprised if there are wards up," Lupin said. "Albus would enjoy catching us out on something like that. Besides, it wouldn't be in the spirit of the competition to cheat like that."
Snape rolled his eyes. In the spirit of the competition, he thought sourly. It wasn't as though there were any real stakes involved. That had ended with the Potter brat's surprisingly quick defeat of the Dark Lord. Nobody was going to die or be maimed in any way if they didn't do this in the 'spirit' of things. In fact, this whole game was rather ridiculous. There was nothing to be gained from learning how to work together in the Muggle world, of all damned places.
Nothing to be gained except…
Snape watched as Charlie turned over the piece of paper and began to read the back.
"There will be personalised rewards for the winners of this competition. I feel that this will help foster co-operation within the teams," Charlie read from the paper.
"Ah, yes, very much in the spirit of things," Snape said sarcastically. He wondered whether they could choose these rewards. He suddenly had the vivid image of him standing in the Defence against the Dark Arts classroom teaching NEWT classes. Of course, Snape thought, that was scarcely feasible. Even with the Dark Lord gone. It was far more likely that Albus would present them all with varieties of some new variety of Muggle sweet he'd found.
He stood up, and flicked a tiny bit of lint of his robes. "I'll be in my room," he said and stalked away. There was no point in him sitting there anyway. It wasn't as though either of other two men were his friends.
"Severus!" Lupin called after him.
Snape turned around and raised an eyebrow.
"Don't use magic." There was a rather determined glint in Lupin's eyes. "I want to win this thing."
Snape rolled his eyes and walked away without a response. He couldn't help wondering what Lupin was hoping for as his gift, should they win this game.
"You were rather quiet," Remus said as he turned to Charlie who was sitting on the couch beside him.
Charlie snorted. "It's strange," he admitted, "being here and talking to Snape as equals."
Remus was surprised. From what he'd known of Charlie, the other man was a friendly, cheerful type who seemed confident of his own abilities. Once, during the war, Remus had gone to Romania to recruit werewolves and while there, he'd seen Charlie working with dragons in the mountains. The man who had stood in front of fire-breathing wild beasts and the man who was currently sitting next to him on the couch were completely different. "But surely you talked to Severus during your Order work," he began.
"I was mainly making sure that You-Know-Who didn't decide to use the dragons," Charlie interrupted, with a faint smile. "I was never part of the Inner Circle of the Order and you know it. I've had few chances to talk to Snape since I've graduated." He hesitated. "The man really isn't different outside the classroom, is he?"
"What do you mean?" Remus asked.
Charlie laughed. "There used to be a theory floating around Hogwarts that Snape was only that nasty because we were students and he didn't like children."
"Severus doesn't like children," Remus admitted. "But then again, he doesn't like most people."
"Well he's going to have quite a lot of trouble blending into the Muggle world when we go shopping." Charlie waved the piece of paper he was holding. "Apparently there is no food in this house."
Remus stared down at his own, rather tattered, dark brown robes. "We can't go dressed like this."
Charlie frowned. "I did have some contact with Muggles in Romania. They seemed to think that I was part of some weird Muggle group. Goths or something, I think they called them."
Remus was about to reply when they both heard a loud bang from another part of the cottage. Half a minute later, Snape stormed into the room holding what seemed to be underwear in his hands.
"Apparently," Snape said icily, "this is what Muggles call jeans and a t-shirt." He threw a wad of rectangular shiny paper on the couch. "Our money."
Remus could vaguely remember that Muggle money was rather paper like. He picked up the wad and rifled through it. There was writing on it and he could read 20 on most of the pieces of paper. There were, perhaps, fifty bits of paper.
He looked up at the Muggle clothing Snape was still holding. "It's not that bad," he said. "Surely you've worn similar items to the Quidditch World Cup before."
Snape rolled his eyes. "Why do you want to win at Albus's stupid game, anyway?"
Remus hesitated. "It should be fun," he finally said.
"Oh yes," Snape said sarcastically. "It will be a wonderful bonding exercise and we'll emerge from here in four weeks the best of friends. I'm positive that will happen."
"Who knows?" Remus said optimistically. "It might."
Remus looked at both Snape and Charlie. From the expressions on the faces of the other two men, neither of them believed him. He didn't really believe himself either.
Shopping might have been easier, Charlie reflected, if they knew what to buy.
They were currently standing in a tiny, stifling-hot, shop in the middle of the village. There were a few rows of Muggle foods and conveniences. The shop owner, an old balding man in his sixties, was sitting behind the counter and staring at them suspiciously. The name Tim was embroidered to the front of his shirt.
"What do you want?" he demanded.
Snape glared at the man and drew himself up straighter. "We're shopping."
Charlie was amused. The glint in Snape's eyes would have been more frightening if it had been accompanied by his usual set of black robes and cloak. It just didn't have the same effect when accompanied by Muggle clothing.
He looked down at his own clothing and hoped there was nothing wrong with what they were wearing. Perhaps that was why the Muggle was staring. He was also wearing a similar pairs of jeans and a t-shirt. He had to admit the jeans weren't altogether uncomfortable; a bit tight for his own liking (he suspected Bill would have loved them), but still fairly easy to move around in. He expected they would be able to buy some more clothing from the clothes shop next door, though. Albus had only provided one set of clothes and Charlie really didn't fancy wearing the same thing all month.
The old man glared at them, and Charlie found himself wondering why he wasn't friendlier. He wasn't positive about Muggle etiquette but he was almost sure that it was fairly similar to the wizarding world on this issue. Politeness gained customers.
"Tourists from the city, are ya," Tim said. It was a statement not a question. The village was obviously small enough for everybody to be acquainted with everybody else.
Charlie opened his mouth to answer but Remus beat him to it. "We're renting the cottage on the outskirts of the village," he said mildly, obviously ignoring the antagonistic tone of the shop owner.
"Yer all bent, no doubt," he mumbled to himself as he picked up a magazine and began to flip through it. "Hurry up about it."
Snape sneered. Charlie couldn't help but notice that there was a slight flush on the older man's face.
"Do you know what we're supposed to buy?" Remus asked.
Charlie shrugged. It had been established that out of the three of them, he was the most knowledgeable about Muggles. Snape had next to no knowledge of Muggles and Remus said he wasn't much better. Charlie's own knowledge was pretty sketchy, but he didn't think it would be that hard to live four weeks as Muggles.
He picked up a can from one of the shelves. "We should be able to eat these."
Snape stared at him and with one swift motion, took the can from his fingers. He examined the ring-pull system of the can and then began to read the ingredients list. His eyebrows shot up. "I'm not eating this," he said flatly.
"Do you know how to cook?" Charlie pointed out. He was beginning to become rather irritated by Snape's dour attitude. Ever since they'd arrived, Snape hadn't managed to say one single positive thing. He seemed to take a break from complete silence only to make snide remarks to Remus.
Snape's only response was to raise an eyebrow.
"I'll take that as a no then," Charlie said. "I know how to cook, but only with magic." He shrugged and looked at Remus. "Remus, do you know how to cook the Muggle way?"
Remus looked rather flustered. "I know the basics," he finally admitted.
"Well then," Snape said sharply. "We have our solution. Lupin will cook." He looked at the can in his hand and sneered at it. "There will be no need to eat this muck." He spun around and stalked to the back of the shop. Charlie could see him prodding the various fruits and vegetables.
"Remus," Charlie said, turning to the other man, "are you okay with that?" He couldn't help but notice how Remus's eyes seemed to follow Snape, and wondered whether there was something between his fellow professors that he didn't know about. After all, they were both attractive men, although Charlie found Remus the better-looking one simply on the virtue that he didn't seem like he was trying to intimidate with every word and gesture. He reflected that there was unlikely to be so much animosity between two people unless there was some sort of history behind it.
"It's not a problem," Remus said. Charlie watched him bite his lip before shaking his head slightly. "Come on, we should help Severus shop." Remus followed Snape to the back of the shop where Snape had already set aside a whole pile of various vegetables and fruits.
Charlie shrugged. He suspected that he would come to the source of the bitter currents between the other two sometime during the next month. After all, their accommodation was a small three-bedroom cottage. There was little that could be hidden. Until then, he would simply have to ignore the gnawing curiosity that was eating away at him. Charlie gave a wry smile; at least, he was going to pretend that it was simply curiosity. There might be a healthy dose of jealousy as well. After all, Remus was quite an attractive man.
His stomach growled. They had shopping to do.
Snape was horrified at the weight of the shopping bags as they carried them back to the cottage. A part of him was sorely tempted to simply levitate the bags and to hell with the consequences. He pursed his lips. It didn't particularly bother him that Albus would be disappointed. However, he had already committed himself to seeing this little game of the headmaster's through to the end by putting on these ridiculous Muggle clothes.
His fingers were feeling numb by the time they got to the cottage door. In front of him, Lupin was fumbling with a key in his pocket. Finally, he managed to get it into the doorknob and opened the door.
Snape breathed a silent sigh of relief as he dumped the bags at the entrance of the kitchen. He was about to leave the other two to their own business, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He whirled around and glared.
"Weasley," he barked. "Do not lay a hand on me. Especially unannounced." He smirked at the look of fear permeating the blue eyes. "Did you, perhaps, forget my former occupation? Just because the old man has forbidden the use of wands here, does not mean that I would hesitate to hex you."
Charlie gulped. Snape was about to turn around when the other man spoke. "We do need to sort out a few issues. We're all living here for a month," Charlie said. "There are Muggle implements in this kitchen that we will all need to use. Such as this." He pointed to what looked to Snape to be a large white cupboard.
"And your point is?" Snape sneered.
Charlie pointed to where Snape's bags lay on the ground. "Muggle foods are perishable. They must go in this …" he hesitated.
"Refrigerator," Lupin murmured from behind Snape.
Snape stared at him in surprise.
"Muggle Studies," he said rather sheepishly. "It was my favourite subject. We learned how to cook in there as well. I did a few extra credit projects. I've kept up with it over the years. Of course, it's not the same as living with Muggles, but…" He trailed off.
Snape bit his lip. He could remember watching as Lupin and Pettigrew came out of Muggle Studies, each carrying a covered dish and laughing together. He gave himself a mental shake. Now is not the time to think of the past, he told himself sternly.
"Anyway," Charlie said stubbornly, "Severus, you should put the food in the refrigerator."
"Fine," Snape said acidly, picking up the bags, and pushed past him. He pulled at the door of the white cupboard – no, the refrigerator – and was surprised at the icy blast that came from it. He pushed the bags inside. "Now if there is anything else…" He meant for the tone to come out mocking, but somehow, to his own ears, it sounded almost questioning.
"Yes, actually," Charlie continued, leaning against the wooden doorframe. "I believe that since Remus will be cooking, then we need to work out who will wash the dishes and who will clean."
Snape was aghast. Somehow, it hadn't occurred to him that they would have to clean the cottage. Cleaning cauldrons was one thing. Cleaning toilets was completely different. "I believe I can wash up," he said stiffly.
Looking surprised, Charlie nodded. "I will clean up the house."
As Snape walked away back to his own room, he heard Lupin's quiet voice. "This may just work out."
Remus was beginning to set out the ingredients for dinner when he heard somebody else walk into the room. The vegetables were neatly lined up on the counter next to the spices. The meat, he kept in the refrigerator (he could have sworn there was a shortened version of the word 'refrigerator', but wasn't sure what it was).
"Do you want some help?" Charlie asked.
Remus was rather irritated to feel himself become almost pathetically grateful. He was getting too used to Snape's insults. "Sure," he said. "Could you unpack those bags Severus threw into the fridge?"
Fridge! That was it! Remus couldn't help smiling. Muggle Studies was beginning to come back to him.
"Fridge," Charlie said slowly. "A shortened name for refrigerator?"
Remus nodded. "It's much easier to say."
He unwrapped the chopping board they had bought and placed some carrots on it. He was about to start chopping, when he decided to wash them first. They had had to wash everything they cooked in Muggle Studies. There must have been a reason for it. He sighed. It had been so long since he had cooked anything.
"Do you think we could win Albus's game?" Charlie asked.
Remus frowned as he methodically sliced the carrots at a forty-five degree angle. There was something to be said for potions training. It tended to leave one with certain good habits. Briefly, he wondered how Snape would cut cooking ingredients. "None of the other teachers have much knowledge of Muggles," he said slowly. "And since Miss Granger isn't participating. I'd say we have a good chance."
"Snape's being a prat though," Charlie commented as he came around and sat down on one of the tall stools in front of the bench.
"I'm sure he has his reasons."
Privately, Remus wondered whether Snape's reasons were a bit more personal than Charlie had ever imagined. He couldn't help a soft sigh. There was far too much history between them. Too many what ifs.
"They'd better be good ones." Charlie held out a bowl as Remus dumped the carrots into it. "What are you making?"
"The first thing we made in Muggle Studies. Minestrone soup," Remus said. He could still remember that day in Muggle Studies, with Peter beside him, as they laughed and tried to eat the raw ingredients. He closed the door on that memory. There was no point in thinking about the past. It was over.
"We never cooked in Muggle Studies," Charlie said, sounding wistful.
"Professor Patterson – Tricia – loved cooking. I suspect that's why she taught us," Remus said with a laugh. "She said something about growing children always loving to eat. I have to admit it was true even though the house-elves fed us well."
"Sounds like you had fun."
"You know," Remus said, as a thought suddenly occurred to him. "If we win, I would like to establish cooking in Muggle Studies again. Assuming we get to choose our gifts, of course."
"Are you sure Hermione's up to teaching it?" Charlie asked.
"If she isn't, I could always help," Remus said. He wasn't sure why it was important to him but he suspected it was something to do with his fond memories of that class. "What would you ask for?" he asked, half out of curiosity, and half because he wanted to direct the conversation away from himself.
"Not sure, really," Charlie finally admitted after a long pause. "I have a month to decide though."
"Assuming that Albus hasn't already come up with our personalised gifts already," Remus said. He thought that it might be just like Albus to do that.
The next few days were rather uneventful. Charlie found himself spending most of the day talking to Remus. He wasn't sure what Snape spent his days doing, although he wouldn't have been surprised to find the other man trying to find a way to subvert the magical wards monitoring them. Snape rarely left his room. In fact, Charlie spent a day half-watching him, and he only saw the other man leave to go to the bathroom and to clean up the dishes.
He was beginning to wonder whether his initial assessment of a possible relationship between Snape and Remus was completely wrong. After all, Snape had even stopped insulting Remus and was completely silent during meals instead.
After living in a rather noisy, boisterous household surrounded mainly by younger siblings, it was a relief to have peace and quiet. That was, after all, one of the main reasons he had decided to become a Dragon Handler; so that he could get some well-needed silence.
Charlie was finding himself more and more intrigued by Remus as the days went by. Before, at Hogwarts, he had found Remus an attractive man, but now he was learning about what lay underneath the calm exterior. At times, he could feel flashes of what he thought was the werewolf inside Remus. A streak of stubbornness. A glitter of the usually mild brown eyes. Remus intrigued him and Charlie liked the intrigue.
He was very amused by the sweet tooth the other man seemed to display. Remus had gone out to the village again yesterday to buy more chocolate and flour. He insisted on baking a cake every evening and that was usually the best tasting dish of the day.
Charlie wasn't sure what Remus felt
about him. Remus seemed to treat him with the same unfailing respect
with which he treated everybody else. Yet, at times,
Charlie
could see the other man studying him out of the corner of his eye.
He was sitting on the couch, half-watching television, when he suddenly felt the couch move next to him.
"Cake?" Remus asked, sitting down and handing him a plate with a slice of chocolate cake with chocolate sauce dripping off it.
"Thank you," Charlie said with a smile. He was pleased to see the faint blush on the other man's face. He dug the fork into it and took a bite. "Wow, this is delicious." And it was. It was light, fluffy and seemed to melt on his tongue.
Remus beamed. "I bought a cookbook yesterday as well. I decided to try one of the recipes."
He began to eat his own cake.
They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes until Remus put down his plate. Charlie watched as he licked his lips. Quickly, he ate the last few bites of his own cake and placed his own plate on the table.
"Remus?" he said quietly and watched as the brown eyes met his own. And then Charlie leant over and kissed him. Remus's lips were tentative at first, but soon, Charlie felt an arm encircle his neck and pull him closer. The cake tastes much better on Remus, Charlie thought. He gasped as he felt Remus's tongue on his lips and was opening his own mouth when…
"And what, pray, is going on in here?"
It was Snape, standing over them with a murderous expression on his face.
Oh shit, was Charlie's first thought. He looked at Remus but the man's face was surprisingly blank.
"I don't see how it's your business," Charlie said angrily. "We're both grown men. I suggest you go back to your own room and do whatever you've been doing in there for the past few days."
"Ah," Snape's voice was soft, with just the slightest hint of danger, "but I'm afraid, Mr Weasley, that it is my business."
Snape was surprised at his own vehement reaction. He had simply come out of his room for a cup of water and had walked in to see Charlie leaning in and kissing Lupin. He had meant to simply leave them alone (after all, they deserved each other, both Gryffindors), but after seeing Lupin's arm pull Charlie closer, something in him had just snapped.
He could see Weasley's surprised expression and could almost imagine the imbecilic thoughts floating about under that red hair. "Yes, Weasley," he hissed. "It is my business."
Without another word, he hauled Lupin off the couch, dragged him around, and pushed him against the wall. He could see the fear and shock in those brown eyes that were so damn familiar. With a growl he grabbed Lupin's arms and pinned them against the wall and leaned in.
The feeling of Lupin's mouth against his made Snape feel as though he were seventeen years old again, when nothing in the world mattered except Severus and Remus and they had all the time in the world. Aggressively, he prodded with his tongue until Lupin let him in. He kissed him with the same fever as he did all those years back and felt Lupin respond in his arms. If Snape closed his eyes, he could almost trick himself into believing that they were back in seventh year.
That is, until he heard: "What is going on?"
Reluctantly, Snape let go and stepped back. Charlie was standing up and staring at both of them. Snape watched him look back and forth. A look of resignation appeared.
"I see," Charlie said quietly and stepped backwards. "I'll leave you two alone." He hesitated. "Sorry, Severus."
He turned around, and Snape felt a surge of victory inside him.
"Wait," Lupin said.
Snape automatically put out a hand and grabbed the other man's arm but Lupin wrenched it out of his grasp.
"I can explain, Charlie," Lupin said as he walked over to the redhead. "There's been a misunderstanding."
"Yes, obviously," Charlie's voice sounded brittle. "On my behalf, and I've already apologised. Perhaps I misread you as well. In that case, sorry, Remus. Now I think I will go to bed now." He walked away, but not before Snape caught what he thought was a flicker of hurt in the blue eyes.
Snape braced himself as he saw Lupin turn around. The brown eyes were blazing and he had his hands clenched into fists. "Severus Snape," Lupin spat. "What the fuck did you think you were doing?"
"We could always call it payback," Snape said with a small sneer and turned around.
Once back inside his room, Snape sat down and noticed with some surprise that his hands were shaking. I suppose I'll have to explain in the morning, he thought tiredly. And I'll have to tell Alexandra.
Breakfast the following morning was a strained affair. As usual, Charlie helped Remus cook, but instead of the normal chatter, there was silence. Remus tried to engage Charlie in conversation several times, but the other man didn't seem willing to talk.
I can explain, Remus wanted to scream, but he didn't. After all, he wasn't sure whether he could explain. What if Charlie asked why he didn't stop Snape from kissing him? What if Charlie asked about their past relationship? What if…?
Remus swallowed and felt trapped by the question marks in his life. When had his life become defined by what it wasn't rather than what it was? He suspected sometime during his seventh year between I love you and goodbye.
The only noise Remus could hear was the scraping of knives on plates and the sound of chewing. He took a sip of orange juice and stopped himself from clenching his fists. It was getting too close to the full moon, he realised. Normally, he wouldn't be this angry.
In the end, it was still Charlie who spoke first. "This is too awkward," he said.
"Charlie," Remus tried again. "I can explain." Yes, a voice inside him mocked, of course you can.
Charlie shrugged. "There's nothing to explain. It was all very obvious to me last night. You and Snape are obviously in some sort of relationship. I didn't know that and for that I'll apologise yet again."
"We are not in a relationship!" Remus snapped before he could help himself. He took a deep breath to calm himself down. Far too close to the full moon.
"Oh no?"
Remus hated the slight hope he heard in Charlie's voice. A part of him wondered why Charlie wanted this anyway. Was it simply because they were stuck in a cottage together on the whim of a slightly batty headmaster and there was no other choice? Or was there something more? "We're not," he said.
"It didn't seem like that to me," Charlie said tightly.
"We," Remus began.
"As much as I hate to say it, Lupin is correct," Snape interjected from where he was sitting there silently. "We are not in a relationship."
Remus breathed a sigh of relief but then he saw the malicious smile on Snape's face. "Not currently in a relationship anyway. But we do have a daughter." Snape pulled out a photo from the pocket of his jeans and slid it across the table to Charlie. "Isn't she beautiful? She graduated from Durmstrang a few years back. Her name is Alexandra Snape."
As Charlie picked up the photo, Remus stared at Snape wide-eyed. A part of him wondered whether he was hallucinating. Or perhaps this was all an elaborate dream. "What did you just say?"
Snape smirked. "We have a daughter. Congratulations, you're a father."
"This is… preposterous," Remus managed to get out. He felt like all the synapses in his brain were fried as they tried to digest this new piece of information. "We're both men."
"That fact did not fail to escape my notice as I gave birth," Snape said coldly. "I can only assume that something about your," he sneered, "condition caused this."
"But, but," Remus tried to think. He stared across the table at Snape, at the glittering black eyes, and the sallow cheeks. "How do you know that she's mine? How do I even know that she's your daughter?" This is ridiculous, he thought. But Severus was looking slightly … heavier when we left Hogwarts.
Wordlessly, Charlie handed the photo over and Remus stared at it. The girl – young woman –wore dark robes with a fur trim and was staring at him. She was almost motionless, except for the slight ruffling of her cloak behind her. Her black hair was swept back from her face in a tight ponytail and she had dark brown eyes. There was something about her that was so very Snape, yet with a shock, Remus realised he could see a tiny part of himself in her as well. Perhaps it was in the tiny smile on her lips. Or maybe the slight roundness of her face, compared to Snape's long face.
"And if you still don't believe me," Snape said icily, "I have evidence. I was going to present this to you anyway. Alexandra, for reasons beyond my comprehension, wishes to meet her other father." He handed over a tightly scrolled up piece of parchment.
Remus unscrolled it slowly and stared. It was an official Ministry of Magic paternity test and stated that Alexandra E. Snape's two parents were Severus L. Snape and Remus J. Lupin. "Oh shit," he found himself saying before he could help himself.
"Indeed."
Charlie felt like an outsider as he sat watching the myriad of expressions crossing Remus's face and the smug satisfaction on Snape's. He hadn't expected anything like this when he had come down to breakfast.
"You said something about payback last night," Remus said stiffly after a long silence. "I suppose this is it."
"Something like that," Snape said.
"So what is this? After more than twenty years, you hand me a daughter and wave goodbye?" Remus asked, his voice shaking. Charlie could see his hands clenching and unclenching rhythmically under the table.
Severus looked surprised. "I'm afraid you've misunderstood," he said. "Alexandra is my daughter and I … love her." He paused. "You ruined my life at seventeen. You wonder why I turned to the Dark Lord. He was the only one who would accept my potions. To others, I was … dirty, unnatural, defiled."
Snape shrugged and Charlie suddenly felt his heart going out to his former professor. There was something unbearably sad about the man.
"Just be thankful I have not ruined your life as completely. A job for a job. A … relationship for a relationship," Snape said as he stood up and walked away.
Charlie watched him leave.
"I just don't know what to say or even to think," Remus said. He looked up with wild eyes. "How could he just keep something like this from me?"
"I think you need to talk to him," Charlie said. "You obviously have unsolved business."
Remus looked at him, and there was a look of sadness in the brown eyes. "Does this mean that there's no chance between us?" he asked. "Has Severus destroyed that possibility?"
"I don't know," Charlie said honestly.
He looked down and studied the table in front of him. He wanted to ask Remus why he kissed back when he obviously still felt something for Snape, but he couldn't work up the courage to do so. So much for vaulted Gryffindor bravery, he thought bitterly.
"I see." Remus's voice was quiet.
Snape sat in his room and wondered whether he was getting soft in his old age. He should have milked the situation for all it was worth, but instead he gave them more ammunition to use against him. Does Lupin really think me so callous as to abandon my own flesh and blood after twenty years?
Obviously, he did.
The feeling of Lupin in his arms again was intoxicating. Warm and soft, tasting like dark chocolate. He was so willing last night. So easy to corrupt. Snape knew if he walked down that road again he would want Lupin to be the one to suffer. Lupin who be made to watch as Snape laughed with his friends about the stupid mistake he'd made. Lupin who would have to find his life permanently changed.
But he hadn't taken the chance to destroy Lupin's chance at happiness.
"Stupid," he said harshly. You old soft fool! Lupin deserves it.
Snape suspected that a part of him didn't want to give Lupin the chance to get past his guard again. He wasn't sure that his carefully reconstructed walls would be able to handle it. He wasn't sure that history wouldn't just repeat itself.
He wouldn't give into his desires. Not if they could hurt him again. No matter how prettily Lupin responded to his ministrations, Lupin would never be his again. Snape knew that.
Snape bit down hard on his lip, hoping to taste blood, but he could never bite down hard enough. He clenched his fits and decided that he would drive a wedge between the other two. He would plant the seeds of doubt and watch the plant flourish.
That should be enough to satisfy his demons.
The next few days passed slowly and Charlie found himself wishing for the easy companionship between himself and Remus that they had in the first week. This cottage was beginning to feel like a prison. They seemed to have all fallen into a routine that didn't involve anybody else. Charlie's routine was to watch television and he soon found himself absorbed in daytime soap operas. The logical part of his mind found them ridiculous but it didn't stop them from being riveting nonetheless.
He was rather surprised when he saw Remus enter the room. "It's the full moon tonight."
Charlie blinked, not understanding what Remus was getting at.
"What Severus told you, on the first day, about the practical joke and him almost getting killed," Remus said softly. "It was true and I don't think he's ever going to get over it."
Charlie frowned. "But you have Wolfsbane now, don't you?" He could see the frown furrowing Remus's forehead.
"This is a small cottage. I think… if Severus panics, look after him, okay?"
The words felt like a punch to Charlie's stomach. It was obvious whom Remus liked better. It was obvious that even after so many years, even after the vitriol Snape spewed, Remus was still in love with Snape. Charlie nodded, not trusting his voice.
Snape was surprised when there was a knock on his door. He couldn't help but stare outside his window where he could see the full moon bright in the sky. "Come in," he said.
He watched as Charlie walked in. "Remus wanted me to make sure that you were alright."
Snape couldn't help but sneer at those words. "Lupin is currently nothing more than an animal."
Snape couldn't help but feel a twinge of disloyalty as he said the words, but he ignored it.
Charlie flinched. "He is not an animal," he said angrily. "He's as human as you and me."
"You are telling me, that if I should open Lupin's door right now, I would see a human?" Snape raised an eyebrow. "I thought not. I would see a wolf. Nothing but an animal. A beast."
"Ron was right about you," Charlie said suddenly. "You're nothing but a bastard." His eyes narrowed. "You made Remus lose his job last time, didn't you?"
"I did nothing except for inform my students that we had a werewolf on the faculty," Snape said smoothly. "I did not anticipate him leaving." Oh but you did, said a nasty internal voice. You wanted him to leave. A job for a job, remember? He quashed the voice with some effort.
Charlie shook his head. "I don't even know why I bothered. Remus asked me to and I just came." Snape watched as there seemed to be an internal struggle before Charlie spoke again. "It's bloody obvious that Remus still loves you. But you're just too much of a bastard to care."
There was nothing Snape could say to that so he simply watched mutely as Charlie left the room.
Curiously enough, his fear of Lupin attacking was abated somewhat. Snape couldn't help but find that amusing.
Remus rolled over in bed and groaned. Every muscle in his body seemed to be on fire. As he looked down, he could see that his clothing was in tatters. I should have remembered, he thought fuzzily.
"Drink this," a kind voice told him and a vial was placed by his lips. "Swallow now."
Remus swallowed obediently and could feel a warmth wash through his body. The aches were still there, but they receded slightly. Instead of a migraine strength headache, he now only had a small niggling headache at the back of his head. It was annoying, but not debilitating. "Thank you," he croaked.
"You're welcome. Do you want breakfast?"
"Just some toast," Remus managed to get out.
A tray was put in front of him and Remus squinted. A plate with toast on it swam into view. There was a dark brown spread on the toast.
"Chocolate, your favourite," the voice explained.
Remus lifted his head, and tried to focus on the person. He could just make out a tall, thin body, and red hair. "Charlie?" he asked.
"Yes," there was some surprise in Charlie's voice. "Now eat."
Slowly, Remus chewed the toast and swallowed it. With every mouthful, he felt some more of his energy returning. When he had finished, he felt almost normal. He swallowed the orange juice next to the toast plate. "Thank you," he said again. "I've never felt this good after a transformation."
"You should probably sleep," Charlie said, sounding awkward. "You probably didn't get much sleep in wolf form. I heard you pacing the entire night."
Remus settled back into the pillows and could feel the tray being lifted away and set on the table next to him. He could still smell the tang of the orange juice. "Needed to run," he mumbled, as explanation. "Wolf wanted to run. Weren't you scared?"
As he drifted away, he thought he could hear a quiet: "Never."
Snape couldn't help but think over Charlie's words. No matter how many times he turned them over in his mind, they still seemed like nonsense. Lupin didn't love him. Lupin couldn't love him. If Lupin had returned his kiss, it was only because of familiarity and an inherent weakness in Lupin.
But he could, a voice in his head, he could make Lupin love him. So easily.
No matter how many times he turned his back on it these two or so weeks, the voice always returned. There was a taunt in the voice. A challenge. And the voice laughed to see that Snape couldn't rise up to the challenge.
I'm turning into a fool, Snape reflected. His attempts at destroying their relationship without involving himself weren't succeeding. He was becoming a spectre of Lupin's past that haunted the relationship but nothing more.
Better than history repeating itself, he told himself.
"Thank you."
Charlie looked up from where he had almost fallen asleep on the couch watching television and saw Remus standing before him holding a plate with some sort of cake on it. He rubbed his eyes and squinted. It looked like a lemon cheesecake. He took the plate and Remus sat down beside him.
"Thank you," Remus said again.
"You've already said it, several times," Charlie said. He took a mouthful of cake and was surprised at its sweet tanginess. "This is delicious."
"Molly once mentioned that it was your favourite," Remus said.
Charlie was surprised. "You didn't have to."
"No, but I wanted to," Remus said. "Yesterday morning. It was the first time anybody did that for me. At Hogwarts, my friends, they cared, but they didn't have the time to nurse me back to health every single time. And afterwards, I had to fend for myself."
"You're grateful," Charlie said flatly. He wasn't sure why he felt like a piece had been torn away from his heart, but he didn't like it.
"I am grateful," Remus began, "but that's not all." He seemed to take a deep breath.
And then Charlie felt Remus's arms go around him and Remus leaned over and kissed him. He tentatively wound his own arms around the other man while one part of his brain was wondering what the hell was going on. He rather thought that a conversation about it all would be a good idea, but there was that hot insistent tongue wound around his own and the feeling of hands sliding up his t-shirt. He abandoned that thought.
Feeling himself harden, Charlie rocked up against Remus on the couch and felt a corresponding hardness against his own stomach.
"What if," Charlie gasped into Remus's ear, "Severus catches us again?"
"Fuck Severus."
That was all Charlie needed to hear.
"This was so much easier at seventeen," Remus whispered afterwards when they had gone back to his room.
Charlie frowned. "What do you mean?"
"This," Remus waved a hand across the bed. "Everything. It was all black and white back then."
"We're all past seventeen now." And that, Charlie thought, was far too true. He still wasn't sure what Remus's real feelings for Snape were. He still didn't know a lot of things, but it all didn't seem to matter as he lay here with his arms around Remus.
Snape knew what had happened the previous evening as soon as he set eyes on the other two men. There was something about the smile on Lupin's face. A smile he hadn't seen for so many years. The expression of half-guilt on Charlie's face.
Snape swallowed his pride as he sat down on the breakfast table and poured himself a cup of orange juice. The sourness, the tang of acid on his tongue, seemed to suit his mood and ate into his stomach lining like pumpkin juice never did.
"Sleep well?" he asked snidely.
"Perfectly well," Lupin answered evenly as Charlie shrugged. "And you?"
"As well as could be expected by the … ruckus," Snape said. It was a lie, of course. He wasn't sure whether Lupin had simply restrained himself the previous evening or whether they had the presence of mind to put up silencing charms despite the rules, but he hadn't heard a thing. However, it was blatantly obvious by the way Charlie was blushing that Lupin had made at least some noise. "Tell me, Charlie," Snape said with a sneer, "does Lupin still whimper in that delightful little way when you hit his prostate?"
There was a long silence.
"I don't believe this is appropriate breakfast table discussion," Charlie said.
"Why not?" Snape asked, keeping an innocent expression on his face. He knew that he didn't do that expression particularly well, but it seemed fairly effective in scaring Charlie in any case. "It's not as though else we have anything else to talk about. And since we have both sampled Lupin's … charms, I suggest we talk about him."
"It's a lovely day," Charlie said, in what was obviously a desperate attempt to change the topic.
"Yes, indeed," Snape said. "I'll be sure to write to Alexandra and tell her about how … wonderful her other father is. She'll be pleased, I'm sure."
Lupin stared at him. "Why didn't you tell me about her?"
Snape gave a start. He hadn't been prepared for this. The part of him that wanted them to be a happy family together had been long buried. Alexandra was his daughter now and his only. He didn't want Lupin to want her.
"It was unnecessary," he said evenly. "Alexandra had a happy childhood. She only wishes to meet her other father. You do not need to be a part of her life."
I'm doing this for her own good, Snape told himself. She didn't need somebody like Lupin around. Somebody who couldn't be relied upon. Somebody who refused to take responsibility for his own actions. A part of him wondered whether this was about Alexandra or himself, but he ignored that thought.
"Ignore him," Remus said as he walked to the village with Charlie. "He's just trying to make trouble."
Inside, he wondered what had changed Severus from the sweet seventeen-year-old boy he had known so long ago to this twisted bitter man who refused to allow other people even fleeting happiness. Was it his Death Eater years? Or was it me? Or was it simply having to look after Alexandra for so many years? Briefly he wondered whether he could do anything to change - to help - what remained of his Severus.
"I can't believe he said that," Charlie said, face reddening. "It's so crude."
"I wouldn't have expected that level of crudeness from Severus," Remus acknowledged. "But," his lips twisted into a wry smile, "Severus has always been good at pushing people's buttons. So, I wouldn't be surprised if it was deliberate."
"You're saying that he said that deliberately to piss me off?" Charlie asked.
Remus nodded.
"Well it worked."
They entered the small dusty village with its cobblestones and its churches. Entering the grocery shop, the owner greeted them. It was strange, but the more they came here, the nicer the owner was. It was obviously some small-town thing that Remus wasn't aware of.
"Good morning, Tim," Remus said cheerfully.
"Good morning, Remus, Charlie," Tim said with a grin. "Where's the other fellow who came in with you the first day anyway?"
"He's a grumpy old git who refuses to come out," Charlie said sharply.
"He certainly looked it," Tim said. "I'll miss you two when you go back to that school of yours. You've been very good customers these past few weeks." They had told the shop owner part of the truth, that they were here because they all worked at a school. However, Remus suspected that Tim thought they were studying the village or the surrounding moorland.
Remus walked over to the shelf that held the cooking chocolate and picked up several blocks. He rather thought he would make chocolate cake that evening. The fact that it would sweeten Snape's temper was simply a bonus. Or so he kept on telling himself.
Charlie rather enjoyed the next week and a half. He couldn't help but feel as though he had got one up on Snape and that was a feeling to treasure. And of course, there was Remus.
Remus, who really did whimper very delightfully whenever his prostate was stimulated.
Remus, who kissed like Charlie was the only man in the world he had ever kissed, and even though Charlie knew that to be false, he could pretend in those minutes between thought.
Remus, who gave one of the best blowjobs Charlie had ever had, which left him wondering just where the other man had learned this art.
Charlie never asked and Remus never volunteered the information.
The lack of magic and the tiny space in the cottage bothered him a lot less when Remus was there.
He thought that he could become addicted to the noises that came from Remus's throat.
Snape sat on the porch staring out at the moorland, the cloying sweetness of moorland flowers assaulting his nostrils. Standing up, he saw a dust road from the front entrance and in the distance, the village. Other than that, there was no sign of human inhabitation. Only rolling green hills, heather and open grassland as far as the eye could see.
It wasn't all that different to where Hogwarts was, but it felt different. Hogwarts was a prison whereas, here, he was free. But not for much longer, Snape thought grimly.
Charlie and Lupin had gone for another walk to the village, doubtless to get some more chocolate for Lupin.
Briefly, Snape wondered who had won this little competition of Albus's, but then he decided it didn't matter. The Floo would be activated within the hour and then they could get back to Hogwarts. Back to civilisation. Back to magic. Back to the cooking of house-elves. Back to the feeling of power thrumming through his fingers as he waved a wand. Back to the smell of potions, brewing as he carefully stirred.
Doubtless Lupin and Weasley would remain together and Albus would smile with that twinkle in his eyes.
And Snape would be left alone in his dungeons.
And that's what I want, he told himself.
- finis
